Disclaimer: Still, unfortunately, do not own The Outsiders.
Pony seemed to be resting more comfortably the next morning when Steve, Two-Bit, and his mother showed up, the boys looking uncomfortable in the suits they never wore. Darry was sitting by Pony's bed while Soda raced around, getting ready.
Mrs. Mathews walked into the room and put her hand on Darry's shoulder, looking down at Pony. "Well, he doesn't look feverish," she said after a moment, and Darry smiled up at her.
"Yeah, he seems calmer today," he said, standing up so she could take his seat. Once she was sitting, he said, "if he wakes up before we get back, there's plenty of food in the kitchen if he's hungry, and his medicine is over the sink if he complains. The doctor said he should just take one pill, though, when he wakes up and only if he complains."
She nodded reassuringly and settled back in the seat, pulling a magazine out of her bag.
"Don't worry about us," she reassured Darry. "We'll be fine. I hope… I hope things go smoothly today."
Darry's face clouded over. He hadn't yet let himself think about where they were all going, but now it was in the forefront of his mind. He nodded quickly.
"Thanks. I hope so too. We shouldn't be too long. I know his parents," and revulsion flickered through his eyes as he said the word, "are having this church service, and then there's a private burial, and I doubt we'll be able to go to that. So we shouldn't be much more than an hour."
"Ok. Well, we'll be here."
"Thanks again, Mrs. Mathews. We really appreciate this."
She smiled at him. "I'm just glad I can help."
He nodded and walked into the living room, where Soda was finally putting on his shoes. Steve and Two-Bit were sitting in silence, watching him. Nobody seemed to know what to say.
Soda stared at his feet as he tied his shoes. Loop the lace, push it through… he knew he was thinking about this in so much detail to avoid thinking of anything else, but he couldn't help it. He just couldn't believe they were going to Johnny's funeral, and he couldn't believe Pony had to miss it. He shook his head as he tightened the laces. There was nothing he could do about that; he had to stop wishing he could.
The four of them walked outside to Darry's truck. They began the drive in silence until Steve said flatly, "We're not going to be able to go to the burial, are we."
Two-Bit snorted. "Didn't we tell you what his mom called us in the hospital? We're 'no-count hoodlums' to her. Like they weren't the ones who treated him like crap." He shook his head again, but it was clear he was suddenly remembering that day… remembering the last time he'd seen Johnny. He lapsed into a pained silence.
Darry sighed. "Well, we'll sit in the back in the church, and then maybe we'll just go watch the burial from far away. Then when they all leave, we can go over and pay our last respects."
"Yeah," Soda nodded. "That sounds like a good idea."
Darry parked behind the church, and the four of them slowly walked inside, careful to stay out of Mrs. Cade's line of vision. As much as they all hated her and were convinced of their own right to be there, they didn't have the energy for a fight today. They took seats in the last pew off to the side and waited quietly for the service to start.
It reminded Soda of his parents' funeral… that being the last time he could remember feeling this miserable. He swallowed hard. Tears stung his eyes, but he didn't want to cry… and he was successful until the priest said Johnny's name. That always did it to him. He could pretend things were different until he heard that familiar name.
Out of the corner of his eye, Darry could see Soda's shoulders shaking slightly, and he put his arm around him. He had entered that zone he had somehow created to help himself deal with funerals and was feeling nothing. It wouldn't last, but he held onto it as long as he could.
On Soda's other side, Steve was also trying not to pay attention to any of the words the priest was saying. He was staring straight ahead, cold, but when Darry glanced quickly at him, he could see a muscle twitching his jaw and knew he was not as easy as he wanted to seem. Two-Bit was having the same problem. He was staring into his lap, wondering how they'd managed to get here and how they'd ever move on. This was Johnny they would never see again… he remembered scaring him at the drive-in, and he felt the lump in his throat start to swell. He let out a shaky breath and shook his head. He'd had enough of crying. He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. He was not going to break now.
When the service ended, they managed to slip out before the pallbearers carried out the coffin. None of them needed to say it for the rest of them to know that they were all thinking the same thing. They couldn't bear to watch anyone else do this. If anyone should be carrying Johnny right now, it should be them.
They got back into the car without speaking, and Darry pulled the truck up a block away from the church, a safe distance to follow without being seen. The only sound in the car was Soda's sniffling as he tried unsuccessfully to pull himself together.
When they reached the cemetery, none of them got out of the car. They watched from a distance as their friend was buried by people who hadn't cared one ounce about him while he was alive, and it was than knowledge that finally made Steve break. No one except Two-Bit saw it, though, and he said nothing, knowing that the last thing Steve Randle ever wanted was to have someone call attention to any of his weaknesses.
When Johnny's parents finally left, his real family got out of the car at last, walking on shaky legs to the new grave. They couldn't bring themselves to look at each other as they all stared at the final resting place of the one person none of them could bear to lose. After a few minutes, though, they were ready to leave. Each of them knew he'd be back on his own to talk to Johnny and say the things he needed without anyone else there to hear. They got back into the car and drove back to the Curtises.
When they went inside, Soda and Darry went straight to Pony's bed to find him still sleeping peacefully. Mrs. Mathews looked up from her magazine and studied their faces as they watched Pony. Her eyes filled with sympathy as she took in Soda's red eyes and Darry's dazed expression, and she quickly stood up.
"Here," she said to Soda, recognizing his need to be close to his younger brother. "I'm sure he'll somehow know you're here. Darrel, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Darry nodded and followed her out to the living room. She passed Two-Bit as she went, and she touched his cheek, the gentle gesture bringing tears to his eyes that he tried to hide as he quickly turned on the television.
She walked out to the porch and turned to face Darry. He still looked completely numb, and she knew that the boys wanted to be alone, but she needed to do something for him.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm very impressed by the way you boys are taking care of Ponyboy," she said softly, and Darry forced a smile, nodding politely. "I know," she continued hesitantly, "that your parents would have been very proud of you."
The smile froze on Darry's face, but Mrs. Mathews merely looked at him sadly and turned away. She knew Darry wouldn't want her to see his weakness, so she left him to himself and started her own walk home. As badly as she felt for these boys, she did know one thing that made her feel slightly better … they would always have each other.