A/N: Don't own. Thanks to my beta Aphy who is a brilliant Dr Who encyclopedia of episodes, quotes and general trivia.

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She was going mad. She had to be. If she wasn't then why did she have a voice in her head talking to her, saying her name?

"You're not going mad, Rose, it's me, the TARDIS. I've connected with you through the translator link. I had to talk to you or my plan won't work."

Rose had initially started at hearing the voice but now wondered how to respond to someone she couldn't see. Trying to direct her thoughts towards the TARDIS she thought back "Plan? What plan?"

"Why, my part of the plan to get you and the Doctor together of course. I'm getting quite fed up of him being ignorant you know. It's about time someone knocked some sense into him."

"What is your plan exactly?"

"Let's just say it involves a bathroom and a transmat and leave it at that for now, k."

"Sounds good, where do I come in?"

"Well, he has to be in his bathroom for it to work, and I need you to help me test the transmat. Need a dry run as a practise."

"So I have to sneak into his bathroom for you to transport me somewhere?"

"That's the gist of it, yes. Plus, you're in charge of making him be in his bathroom at the appropriate moment."

Rose smirked in anticipation. "Should be fun. When will this be happening?"

"Tomorrow hopefully. All the modifications are complete. I just need to test the transmat and then it's all set."

"Let me know then. I've a Doctor to torment."

She could almost hear the TARDIS grin.

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The Doctor didn't know what kept going wrong. The TARDIS should have been ready yesterday, but then the cooling system had blown, meaning another couple of days in the vortex recovering.

He didn't know if he could survive much longer trapped inside with Rose. For four days she had teased and tormented him, wearing skimpy clothes and expecting him to rub fake tan into her back each night without looking down at her uncovered top half. No man or Time Lord had that much self-control. And then something had happened to his cold water so he couldn't even try and control himself that way. Must have been something to do with the cooling system that took the cold water away. It had happened around the time the circuit broke. And then Rose had calmly asked why he needed cold water! How was he meant to respond to that? "'Cos I get a hard on from just looking at you and need to get it under control?" It would take a braver man than he was to tell Rose that. If her right hook was anything like her mothers then he wouldn't be able to see for a week.

It was almost as if his own TARDIS was plotting against him. She wasn't, he was sure, but a more paranoid man would think she was. It was a big coincidence, admittedly, breaking down after the shopping trip and the circuit breaking just as they should have set off, but still, his TARDIS wouldn't take Rose's side. Would she?

That was if Rose even knew what she was doing. The Doctor couldn't believe she was doing all she was without realising the affects she had on him but it was a possibility. After all, she was only 19, and from Earth. How naive were humans from the 21st century? Jack had been disturbingly open about his sexual prowess, but he was from the 51st century, not the 21st. Things like that change so rapidly on Earth after all. Only 100 years before gay people had been shunned and cast out, and sex was never discussed. He knew that the gay thing had changed, it was more normal by 2000AD, but he'd never really discovered the general viewpoint on sex and stuff. A definite oversight, come to think of it.

Or Rose might know exactly what she was doing. In which case, why was she still doing it? For fun? To see if she could make a Time Lord lose control? 'Cos she was close to succeeding if that was her aim. It was getting harder and harder (literally) to stop himself grabbing her and shagging her senseless when she stood in front of him half naked. And he'd never forgive himself if he did lose it. She was his responsibility. He'd promised to keep her safe, not use her for sex. He remembered that conversation they'd had when he'd first brought her back, when he'd gone 12 months forward instead of 12 hours. 'Is that a sexual relationship?' The policeman had asked. And they'd both replied negative, quickly, as if the idea was disgusting.

Not so disgusting anymore, not by a long shot. But it couldn't happen. Time Lords lived a lot longer than humans, and he couldn't stand the pain of losing her if they went that one step more. For one thing, Jackie would kill him if he did, slowly and painfully. It wasn't worth it. Everything dies in the end, but he'd live on, through the sorrow of losing her. No matter how much they might want it, it was better this way.