Jane had changed into a pair of slacks and a simple, light blue button-down, as she knew that Maura's family dressed sharply even in the comfort of their own home. She pulls Maura's chair out, letting the woman sit down first before pushing it in. Jane takes the seat next to her, which is across from Constance. Catching Constance watching them, Jane offers a smile, which Constance returns tenfold.
"Thank you for the hospitality again, Constance. I had fully prepared myself to live in a hotel during this month but this is much better. I appreciate you," Jane says as she follows Maur's lead in placing a napkin over her lap.
"Of course, Jane. I was happy to know that you and Maura would be visiting for so long." Constance gestures toward the food being set down in front of them. "Please, eat. I requested the chef to make a steak for you. Maura had mentioned that you may be hesitant to eat escargot."
Jane smiles sheepishly. "That is true. I'm afraid that my palette is not as developed as either of yours." She picks up her knife, cutting into the tender meat in front of her. The steak was of such good quality that the knife was barely needed. She takes a bite, resisting the urge to roll her eyes back and moan. "Wow."
Constance and Maura look at each other and laugh as they begin eating the escargot, scooping it up onto the sliced bread beside them before taking a bite.
"So, ladies, what is your plan for this month?"
Jane is so immersed in her steak that she almost forgets where she is. "I'm not sure, I left that up to Maura. It's whatever she wants to do."
Constance smiles at this, thinking about how well Jane and Maura complemented each other.
Maura answers, saying, "I have a few excursions planned for the typical tourist landmarks. However, I also wanted to show Jane where I went to primary school and some of my favorite places around the city. There should be plenty to do and since we only have a month, I don't want to overwhelm Jane too much."
"Ah, I see. Are you due back in a month for your job? Constance asks, looking at Jane.
Jane sets her fork down, wiping her mouth with the napkin. "Yes, but I actually left the Boston Police Department. I have a new job teaching the trainees at the FBI in Quantico."
Constance transfers her gaze to Maura, watching the way Maura stiffened up at the mention of Quantico. "Quantico, as in Virginia? That's quite a move."
"Yeah, it was just the right next step for me. They were nice enough to let me come here for a month before I started," Jane says, trying her best to avoid looking at Maura, knowing that the woman was likely trying to hide how upset she was.
Constance connects the dots, realizing that this was likely why the two women were not officially together despite Maura having admitted her feelings for the woman to Constance. "I see," she says before taking a sip of her wine. "I'm sure Maura has told you, but I am due out of the country for an extended period soon, so please feel free to make yourselves at home here while I am gone." She thought that perhaps her absence could encourage the two women to figure some things out.
"Thank you, Constance. That is very kind of you and I appreciate all that you have done for us," Jane says, suddenly very eager to have dinner be over.
Maura speaks up, having been silent for the majority of the meal. "Jane and I are headed down to the Seine River for a walk after we finish eating, mother. Would you care to join us?"
Constance is grateful for the offer, but sensing the tension between the two women, she knew it was best to let them have some time to speak privately. "Thank you, dear. However, I am feeling a bit tired so I think that I will turn in for the night early. I still find myself getting strained easily ever since that car hit me."
Maura remembers the hit and run, how her mother had pushed her out of the way, taking the force of the car against her body.
"How have you been feeling? That was horrible and I'm really glad we caught the person responsible for that," Jane says as she places a hand on Maura's thigh to comfort her.
"Better. I have a tremendous physical therapy team and they have helped me regain a lot of my independence. Walking for extended periods still proves itself as a challenge, but I am grateful to be even able to walk," Constance says as she finishes her meal. "Now if you'll excuse me, I should start getting ready for bed. I have an early appointment tomorrow morning."
Constance pushes her chair back from the table, nodding at Jane and Maura before she leaves the dining room. She knew that Jane and Maura needed to discuss many things, and she did not want to be a hindrance to any of that.
Jane pushes the rest of her steak around the plate. She watches as Maura raises a slice of bread to her mouth before abandoning it, having lost her appetite. Maura places her napkin on the table, standing up with more force than usual.
"Ready for our walk, Jane?"
Jane nods, following Maura back to their room silently.
"Talk to me, Maura," Jane says once they're out the door and on their way.
Maura has closed herself off again, which makes Jane feel hopeless as they had been doing better recently. "What is there to talk about, Jane? You're leaving and that's that. There's no point in racing a dead horse."
"It's beating a dead horse, Maura. The saying is beating a dead horse. And I want to talk about things if they bother you so much."
Maura has begun walking faster now, channeling her frustrations into her stride instead of taking it out on Jane. Thankfully, Jane's long legs allow her to keep up.
"Will you look at me, Maur?"
Maura feels the sting of tears at the edges of her eyes. She takes a deep breath in, forcing them back down as she looks at Jane. Jane walks closer to her and takes a hold of one of Maura's hands.
"What are we doing, Jane? What are we right now? We've been doing this thing where we fight and then pretend that you're not moving in a month and I can't live in this fantasy anymore. Either we are together or we aren't but I need to know where things are headed."
Jane stares at Maura, struggling to find the words to convey her feelings since she didn't even really know what they were doing.
"We kissed a few times and that's all it's been. I'm not pressuring us into moving faster than what's natural but I also want more with you. I want us to be together and I want to do things with you. More than what we have done together in the last 8 years," Maura says, pouring her heart out to the woman before her. She puts a finger on Jane's chest. "What do YOU want?"
Jane runs her hands through her hair. "Damn it, Maura. You have this hold over me and I can't shake it no matter how hard I try. I tried to push you away so you could forget about me and move on and all it seems to do is make me think about you more and more. It's like you're in my bloodstream and I can't do anything about it!"
She turns, pacing the ground as her words come out freely. "I sat there and played the role of the best friend while I watched Ian break your heart over and over again. I even pretended to be your lover so Giovanni could leave you alone. Do you think I liked hearing about how attracted you were to him? It killed me inside, Maura. Every single time I had to sit there and listen to you talk about a date as if it wasn't tearing me apart to know that I wasn't the one who was with you."
Maura tries to open her mouth, but Jane stops her. "I'm not done, Maura. Do you know how long I fought with myself until I came to terms with being in love with you? All of the stolen glances, the longing, the constant analyzing of every look, every touch, every word that you said to me as I wondered if it meant more. I told myself that you would never return these feelings and that our friendship meant more than anything. And you had to go return those feelings and kiss me and now my whole brain is full of you and I can't stop. I can't stop loving you and I can't stop thinking about you all of the time even if it means dragging you into all of my bullshit."
Jane looks Maura in her eyes. "You want to know something really messed up? When I found out that I was pregnant, I had hoped that it was a false alarm so any children of mine wouldn't have Casey as their father. Not because he would have been a bad one, because he actually would have been amazing, but because I wanted my children to have you as a mother. The way that you had supported me when you found out and rearranged your entire life to accommodate a baby that wasn't even born. All that did was make me fall for you more."
"I don't think it's that messed up, Jane. You're being honest with yourself and that's respectable. And if all of that is true, then why not just be with me? Let's try to make this work and then I could be the mother of your children one day."
Jane sighs exasperatedly. "It would never work, Maura. I would eventually make you so miserable that you would want to leave me. Or maybe I involve you in my messy life and some serial killer gets to you before that. I'm just not built for marriage and neither is my career."
Maura's tone shifts, revealing how hurt she is. "Why are you so convinced that you would make me miserable?"
"Because I saw it in my parents, Maura. I saw how they bickered until they hated each other. I counted down the days until Casey or Dean or whoever would have to go back to work so I could get back to a life that didn't include them. I never loved them the way that I love you and I never wanted to show them who I really am. When you see me, truly see me, you'll want to leave too. I'm just a bitter, cold-hearted woman and you are too good for this world so get out of this before I ruin you."
Maura takes a few steps back, having had no idea that this is why Jane had been acting so distant with her. She processes Jane's words for a few seconds. "I've seen you, Jane. For the last 8 years, I've seen you. When you're empathizing with a victim's family, when you're finding the good in a really horrible case, when your hands ache so badly on a rainy day but you still try to pretend that they don't for the sake of those around you. I've seen you cry during those movies when a character dies and you don't think that I'm looking. You can act tough all you want, Jane Rizzoli, but I've seen you for who you are under it all. And I still love you. So continue down this path of self-destruction if you want but you're not getting rid of me that easily."
They were on the bridge over the Seine now, with the tip of the Eiffel tower peeking above the top of the buildings around them. The sidewalks were full of families, couples, and students wearing book bags. There was a raised curb along the side of the river, which Jane sits down on as she keeps her eyes on the water.
"I don't like talking about my feelings," Jane says.
In a softer voice, Maura responds, "I know, Jane. I know."
Just as Jane is about to speak again, her phone rings. She looks at Maura, who nods before Jane accepts the call, placing it against her ear.
"Rizzoli."
Maura can hear Frost's voice on the other end, which immediately made her stomach twist in anxiety. Frost calling from across the world during Jane's vacation meant that something had happened. Something bad. Jane stands, walking away so Maura doesn't hear the details of the conversation, and panics. She asks Frost a few clarifying questions before giving him a few commands about what to do next. Jane walks away far enough to be out of Maura's hearing, but close enough to keep an eye on the woman. She thanks Frost, hanging up before she heads back towards Maura.
"Jane?" Maura asks with wide eyes.
"Maura. They sent the video."