Disclaimer: As Usual™

Probably OOC-ness.

Thanks to my first reviewer; akeedacrest :D I shall now play Scarlet, the theme of Ayashi no Ceres, in your honor.

What a Drag!
Part Two. In which Wakato is hit, Kirihara is hit on and Hiyoshi is exchanged for Tezuka.

Kirihara was not happy. At all! His feet hurt, his crotch hurt, his hair was abnormally straight and that made him feel a bit giddy, not to mention the shoes put him at a height that was a bit nauseating. To top it all off, he had run into Niou, whom he hoped didn't recognize him, and some weirdo from St. Rudolph. What else could go wrong today?

"Hey there."

Murphy's Law volume one popped up out of nowhere and fell on top of him.

"Oji-san!"

Kirihara took a deep breath and turned around, only to come nose to nose with some old monk. There was a suspicious glint in his eye and Kirihara didn't even want to think about what was currently running though his head.

"Echizen Nanjiroh's the name, and girls are my game," he puffed out his chest, "and what's your name, pretty girl?"

'Echizen?' Kirihara's eyebrow's shot to his hairline. He composed himself and spoke in a low, seductive voice, "Echizen-kun … you wouldn't by any chance be related to an Echizen Ryoma would you?"

"The brat?" he scoffed, "ungrateful little bugger."

"Oji-san!" Nanako appeared in front of him and grabbed him by the sleeve, "leave the poor girl alone and let's finish the shopping," she turned to Kirihara, "Forgive my uncle, he has a disease," she shot a glare at Nanjiroh who was about to retort. He wisely kept his mouth shut, "Anyway … you know Ryoma-kun, Miss … err -"

"Kirika. And yes," Kirihara could barely hold back a smirk, "Ryoma-san … he had reserved me for three hours this afternoon. I'm quite excited, he's such a cutie-pie."

Nanjiroh and Nanako's jaws dropped open.

"R-Ryoma-kun?"

"Hired a prostitute!" Nanjiroh shouted.

"We prefer to call it … General Relations," Kirihara was positive that he would never, ever, hang around with Niou-sempai, again, ever! "Well, I still have one job to finish up, ja ne."

He walked away, leaving the gaping people staring at his back. Indeed, he was starting to get the hang of this 'being a girl' thing, and it scared him, because he found himself enjoying it a tad too much. He was also positive that he was going to kill himself after this, slowly, and make it seem like an accident.

--

Atobe and Tezuka stood silently in the middle of Seigaku tennis court. Atobe looked at Tezuka and Tezuka looked at Atobe, neither one saying a word nor even attempting to start a conversation.

The rain seemed to be coming down harder than ever, causing the boys to become even wetter than they were.

"I don't even see the point of taking a shower before I got here," Atobe broke the silence, "You better have a good explanation for this, Tezuka. If I wanted to stare at your impassive face all day, I would have just looked at a picture."

"Atobe," Tezuka walked towards Atobe, not daring to look the other boy in the face.

"Tezuka," Atobe raised an eyebrow.

Tezuka stopped one foot away from Atobe and turned his head up too look directly into his eyes, "Hold me."

Atobe's subconscious did flips and he circled his arms around Tezuka, pulling the brunette closer to his chest.

Tezuka just let himself relax into Atobe's embrace and put his own arms around Atobe's neck.

It was like things that only happened in his dreams; holding Tezuka this way while the both of them were soaking wet. Tezuka's chest rubbing up against Atobe made him feel a bit horny. After all, it was even worth stooping so low and making that anonymous call telling Fuji that Tezuka was straight.

--

"Fshuu …" Kaidoh was feeling a little self-conscious. Inui had been staring at him non-stop for the past ten minutes, it wouldn't have bothered Kaidoh as much if he hadn't seen that gleam reflecting in his sempai's glasses. It normally meant something bad was going to happen, and more often than not, the 'something bad' involved some newly concocted Inui Juice. Kaidoh didn't like Inui Juice.

One of the three ichi-nen was also staring at him, the one with the mushroom hair. Kaidoh couldn't, for the life of him, remember the boy's name. He'll just refer to him and ichi-nen one. There was something weird shining in his eye and that unnerved Kaidoh.

"Fshuu …" Kaidoh stood up abruptly and moved to the furthest seat in the room, preferable one that was out of the light. He needed some alone time. All the attention he was getting is uncomfortable. It was either that, or to go and join the idiot Momoshiro and his band of merry morons in the front of the room, except Ryoma, who was never merry.

Kaidoh kind of liked Ryoma, he reminded him of his brother. He stared at Ryoma's back for a long second, before sighing and going to the back of the room.

--

"Unyaa. Kaoru-chan's going to sit in the back all by himself," Eiji looked towards the boy in question.

"Baka mamushi," Momo scoffed, "just ignore him, he's just being his usual loner self."

"Demo, Momochin," Eiji whined, "he must be lonely, why don't you go comfort him?"

"He's right, Momo-sempai," Ryoma pulled his hat down over his eyes, but not before Momo saw the amused smirk on his face, "Kaidoh-sempai would love it."

Momo spluttered, "I'm not going there. I'm not going there ever!"

"Has anyone seen Tezuka?" They turned to the voice of Oishi, who was looking worriedly around the room, "I hope he didn't walk home. It's raining cats and dogs out there, he might catch a cold."

"Don't worry about Buchou, Oishi-sempai," Momo said, "He's probably immune to common sicknesses anyway."

"Demo …" Oishi still didn't look comforted, "Tezuka's still human, even though he might not seem like one sometimes –"

"G-Guys …"

No one seemed to hear Kawamura's voice.

"- a cold still isn't a pleasant experience, you know –"

"Guys …"

"C'mon, Oishi," Eiji put a hand around his shoulder, "Tezuka's super Buchou, nya."

Tired of being ignored, Kawamura grabbed a Random racket that had been placed on the desk, "Hey, baby! Tezuka's making out with Atobe in the court! Burning!"

There was silence in the room for a long minute, before tables and chairs were being cast aside as the regulars (and not) of Seigaku rushed to the window.

"Nyaa!" Eiji squealed, "Atobe and Tezuka!"

Ryoma's eyebrow twitched: the monkey-king … touching his Buchou?

Momo's jaws dropped to the floor, "Buchou and … Atobe? Making out … in the rain … together!" he grasped and fist full of hair and wailed.

Kaidoh couldn't stop an involuntary twitch in his lip at the sight.

"Ii data," Inui muttered and scribbled furiously in his little green notebook. After which, he glanced over to Kaidoh and began to imagine a series of scenarios which had him and Kaidoh standing in the rain, in place of Atobe and Tezuka.

"Yeah, baby! Burning!"

"Doing it in the rain?" Oishi looked on, "They could get sick."

Everyone was too preoccupied with Tezuka and Atobe that they didn't notice the sudden look that flashed across Fuji's face. 'Ato … be …' he fumed silently, 'he's going to pay.'

--

'Three … and I'm not even half way to Seigaku yet," Kirihara thought.

"Hi there, pretty –"

"Urusai, teme!" Kirihara growled, causing the person to look at him with in shock as Kirihara's eyes turned a scary shade of red.

"No need to be so touchy, sweetheart," the guy seemed to have pulled himself together pretty quickly and said with a slimy grin on his face, "There's enough of me to go around."

Kirihara gave him the evil eye.

"My name is Wakato Hiroshi, but you can just call me darling," he winked at him, "What's your name, hot stuff?"

Kirihara swallowed his lunch that had threatened to come back up, "Bite me," he said abruptly and stalked off, not caring if he looked feminine or not. Right now Kirihara couldn't give a rat's ass about Sanada's punishment, he just wanted to get to Seigaku, seduce someone and get back. His feet hurt ten times more than it did at the start of the story and the curls of his hair was starting to rebel against the straightening chemicals.

"I do like the girls fiery," Wakato seemed to be ignorant and didn't want to take a hint.

"I told you, bite me."

"I'd love to, love. Right now?" he gave Kirihara another smoulderingly smarmy look that was enough to make his mascara run.

"Look," he turned around abruptly, "I'm tired, I'm aching, I'm hot –"

"That you are."

Twitch.

"- and I have yet succeeded in my mission. I'm getting pretty short tempered right now and if you don't leave me the hell alone, I'm going to make you pay … and it'll only take ten minute."

"Make me pay anytime you want, dear – What the - "

He didn't have time to finish the sentence before Kirihara back flipped him into the trashcan and slammed the lid shut, "Putting away the trash," Kirihara dusted off his hands and smirked.

"Excuse me."

Kirihara could have cried.

"I was just wondering whether you've seen one guy with red hair around here."

Kirihara turned around and came face to face with, possibly the sexiest man he's ever seen. He cleared his throat, "Wakato-kun, ne?"

"Yes. Did you know where he went?"

"I think he left with a bunch of girls, just a few minutes ago."

"Ah, too bad. Forgive me for not introducing myself, Jyousei Shounan no Buchou, Kajimoto Takahisa."

'Jyousei Shounan? No wonder that guy looked familiar.' "Kirika Ayako, desu."

"You look familiar, have we met before?"

Kirihara tried to suppress the shudder and just shook his head. He answered in the sweetest, most girly voice he could muster, "No, I don't think so, Kajimoto-kun."

"Really? My mistake then, I should be going now; Hanamura-sensei has a new training menu set. It was nice meeting you, Kirika-san. If you see Wakato-kun anywhere, just tell him that I was looking for him, would you?"

"Hai."

Kirihara sighed in relief. It was hard sometimes, being so good looking.

--

Fuji waited behind the wall as Tezuka and Atobe parted ways. The rest of the Seigaku team were too shocked and traumatize to do anything, but Fuji had decided to confront Atobe about his indecent display of affection towards his Tezuka.

"Atobe," he noticed the boy and walked out of his hiding place.

"Fuji," Atobe seemed a bit shocked at his sudden appearance, but it was soon replaced with the smug look he wore too frequently, "I take it you saw the little show down in the courts, did you?"

"Indeed I did. Did you have fun, Atobe?" Fuji cracked open his eyes a fraction.

"That I did. Did you have fun watching?"

"Somewhat, it would have been even more fun if it was me instead of you."

"Don't blame me, Fuji. You were the one who forced Tezuka to come to me. I thought you might as well have just put a ribbon in him and served him to me on a gold platter."

"Not that I wouldn't like to put a bow on Tezuka in the first place. What makes you think I'd give Tezuka to you."

"Give? No, no, no, wrong use of tense, Fuji. Gave is more likely. Because, unless you missed the whole event in the past few minutes, Tezuka already belongs to Ore-sama."

Fuji's eyebrow twitched.

"And if my memory serves me right, I would have to say thank you, because if you didn't ignore him like you did, Ore-sama would still be one Tezuka-less."

Fuji's eyebrow twitched continuously.

"But, because Ore-sama is such a generous soul, I'll give you something in return, or … someone."

"What makes you think I want anything from you?"

Atobe continued like Fuji hadn't said anything, "Ohtori, perhaps? He's a sweet boy. And quite cute if you ask me."

"… what did you say?"

"Are you losing your hearing already, Fuji, or is Tezuka's monotone orders have finally taken its toll? I said, Ohtori. He's nice."

Fuji would be lying if he said he wasn't the least bit interested, "What about Shishido?"

"Minor obstacle, not something Ore-sama can't take care off," Atobe looked smug.

"I don't know … it would be weird taking someone else's boyfriend."

"You and your do-goodness," Atobe huffed, "Then … what about Jiroh? He seems to have acquired quite an obsession with you."

"I think I'll pass," Fuji sweat-dropped, "Since when have you become a pimp, Atobe?"

"Do not refer to Ore-sama with such a degrading title," Atobe looked at Fuji, scandalized, "Ore-sama cannot be blamed if all the boys of Hyoutei Gakuen are so submissive."

"I'm sure they are …"

Atobe coughed, "I take it you won't want Shishido either then. How about Mukahi? He is quite … dare I say it … bendable."

"No, it'll be like having another Eiji."

"Ore-sama is doing this as a favour, so you could try and be less picky."

"Saa … gomen. Go on, Atobe," by this time, Fuji's anger towards Atobe had pretty much dissipate; he had always been intrigued by the boys of Hyoutei Gakuen and to get the chance at one of them, he couldn't pass it up.

"Oshitari then. I warn you, he can be quite manipulative."

Fuji contemplated the offer, "Maybe … who else is there."

"That would leave Hiyoshi, Taki and Kabaji, but he already belongs to me."

"Don't worry, I don't think I want Kabaji anyway. Saa … what were their names again?"

"Hiyoshi and Taki. Hiyoshi fought against Echizen in the tournament."

Fuji seemed interested in that fact, "That cute one with the sexy moves?"

"You should see what he does in bed," Atobe smirked.

"Who's the other one?"

"He used to be a regular, but Ohtori took his place. Are you sure you don't want Ohtori? He comes highly recommended."

"Quite sure. Maa … in that case, I'll take Hiyoshi-kun."

"Good choice as well, Fuji," Atobe nodded, "Well, it's been fun, however, Ore-sama has to get on his way now. I'll send Hiyoshi over first thing in the morning, and remember, hands of Ore-sama's property."

"Hai, hai."

--

"Achoo!"

"Are you getting a cold, Hiyoshi-kun?" Ohtori looked at him.

"No … if feels like someone's talking about me behind my back …"

End Part Two.

Supposed to be a two-shot, but will now be a three-shot n.n;;

If the characters seem a bit strange, it's because I still haven't gotten the hang of writing PoT stories yet, I will … eventually … maybe.

Review.