Harry, Ron and Ginny walked down the familiar corridors to the Gryffindor common room after leaving Mr and Mrs Weasley, who went to the guest rooms. They were walking in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Harry could not believe that they were allowed to stay at Hogwarts for the remaining weeks before the autumn term started. He had been half afraid of being made to go back and live with the Dursleys but now Hogwarts was the temporary headquarters of the Order this thankfully was not to be the case. Ron was thinking about how much he wanted to eat something and Ginny was wondering if they were allowed to play Quidditch down on the school pitch.
They turned a corner and walked up to the portrait of the Fat Lady who was having an animated discussion with Violet about the recent goings on at Hogwarts. Ginny suddenly stopped and Ron, who was muttering about sausages, crashed into her.
"Ginny! What the hell did you just stop for?" Cried Ron as he staggered sideways into Harry.
Ginny rolled her eyes, "Well we don't know the password do we?"
The Fat Lady and her friend had stopped talking to watch the three students in front of them with interest. Harry walked up to them.
"Do we need a password?" He asked the painting, "You know we're students, me and Ron have been at Hogwarts for five years so you should recognise us."
The Fat Lady did not look impressed. "Just because somebody has been here for years, it doesn't give them exemption from needing to say the password. If I let you in, everybody else will be wanting to come in without knowing the password and I might as well just be a piece of wood!" She sniffed derisively and the witch next to her started tutting and shaking her head.
"But there is no-one else here," said Ron, "And where are we supposed to sleep if you don't let us in?"
"You should have thought of that before coming up here really, shouldn't you?"
"Come on Harry, Ron, there's always the Room of Requirement." Ginny turned and led the way back down the corridor with Ron and Harry in tow complaining about women. They quickly shut up though when she turned round and threatened to turn them into frogs and feed them to the Giant Squid.
They walked along the corridor containing the Room of Requirement three times, each thinking about somewhere to sleep and when they opened the door the room contained several four-poster beds hung with deep red drapes, with another heavy red curtain down the middle separating boys and girls. Ron and Harry sat on opposite beds whilst Ginny sat at the foot of Ron's and crossed her legs beneath her. Harry looked at them and guilt rose again in his stomach.
"I'm really sorry you know, about the attack at The Burrow." Ginny snorted and Ron sat upright from where he had been lying on his back.
"It's not your fault, mate," he said, "we knew it was risky every time you came but we couldn't leave you shut up with the Muggles all summer could we?"
"And I told mum to use a telephone in the village," added Ginny, "Hermione has told me all about them and they sound pretty straight forward but you know our mum, she doesn't trust Muggle things."
Harry was slightly mollified, "So was it Snape who tipped you off about the attack then?"
"Yeah, he only found out about it an hour or two before we were about to get you. We haven't seen anything of him since then. The alarms saying that somebody unidentified had passed through the wards went off and curses started flying, then Dumbledore, MacGonagall, Lupin, Tonks, Mad-Eye and Shacklebolt turned up. Mum, Dad, George and Fred were firing curses out of the windows. We wanted to help but you know, underage magic and all that." Harry smiled, it sounded like one of the spaghetti westerns he'd seen on TV briefly.
"So what are we going to do now we're living at Hogwarts for the next four weeks?" asked Ginny.
Ron shrugged and Harry considered this question. It did not really matter to him what they did as he would much rather be here than at his aunt and uncle's house.
"Homework?" Suggested Ginny, grinning.
"I've already finished most of it," said Harry, smirking at the look of amazement and horror on Ron's face.
"W…w…what?" Ron eventually managed to stutter out, "Are you mental? Summer holidays aren't supposed to when you do homework, the night before it's due in is when you do it!"
"There was nothing else to do," explained Harry, "Apart from stare at my bedroom walls or, if I got bored of that, walk around Little Whinging staring at other people's walls."
"Well, Hermione's going to be pleased with you," giggled Ginny while Ron looked appalled at the idea of being the sole recipient of her 'why don't you do some work now instead of leaving it all too late and wanting to copy mine' tirade. While Ron continued to make pained noises, Ginny's mirth faded and she looked at Harry with pity. He knew what she was about to ask and silently begged Ron to say something, anything, to stop his sister from mentioning what happened before they last left school, but to no avail.
"Harry, how are you doing, you know. Are you okay?"
"About Sirius' death you mean?" Harry said harshly, using anger to override the familiar clench of guilt and misery inside him. Ron glared at his sister, who ignored him.
"You know it wasn't your fault, you did all you could."
Harry stood up and stalked to the door, flinging it shut behind him. He knew if he stayed he would end up yelling again and he just wanted to be left alone with his grief instead of people repeatedly telling him that he wasn't to blame. He wanted to shout in frustration, hit something, let out the emotions choking him as he ran down dimly lit corridors, silent apart from the occasional clang as a suit of armour readjusted itself and the rustling whispers of the portraits hanging on the walls. Behind him he heard Ron calling his name but it faded as Harry twisted and turned, using all the short cuts he knew to be somewhere alone with his thoughts.
Eventually he slowed to a walk and recognised the stairs leading up to the Astronomy Tower, which he climbed and emerged out into the cool night air high above the shadowy lawns of Hogwarts. Bats flitted in the moonlight, the only witnesses to the tears streaming down Harry's face.
It was several hours later when Harry made his way back down from the tower and retraced his steps to the Room of Requirement. The shadowy halls were cool and he shivered as a draught of air blew over his skin when he passed a cracked windowpane. It was silent when he opened the door of his makeshift bedroom and he could dimly see the shape of Ron in the other bed. Ginny presumably was on the other side of the curtain and Harry sank back onto his pillow, glad that he did not have to say anything to either of them, for now at least.
The sound of movement woke Harry several hours later and when he sat up he saw Ron getting clothes from out of a trunk in front of him. Noticing that Harry was awake, Ron stopped and nodded slightly to him.
"You alright mate?"
Harry nodded back, "Yeah. Sorry about last night. I…"
Ron shook his head, "No need to explain. Come on, I'm absolutely starving!"
Harry grinned in relief and raised his eyebrows at the sight of his trunk sitting at the bottom of his bed.
"Where did they come from?"
Ron shrugged. "Dobby?" he suggested, pulling on a jumper. Harry made a mental note to go down to the kitchens and thank the house elf, if they could not find either McGonagall or Dumbledore to get the password then not having any fresh clothes would not have been very pleasant at all. Ginny appeared from around the curtain already dressed and smiled at Harry, who felt ashamed about last night when she had only been trying to help but she appeared to understand and instead just went over to him and gave him a hug before telling them both to hurry up. Ron stared at the retreating back of his little sister then at Harry's shocked face and, for once, decided not to say anything.
Mr and Mrs Weasley were already sat downstairs at the one table set up in the centre of the Great Hall and Harry sat next to Mr Weasley, glancing up at the ceiling that was currently bright blue with just a few wispy streaks of cloud. Harry helped himself to bacon and eggs and asked Mr Weasley what he and Mrs Weasley were going to do whilst he, Ron and Ginny were at Hogwarts.
"Well, we've still got some cleaning up to do at The Burrow, resetting of the wards and the casting of a few more as well as Order stuff."
"What Order stuff?" asked Harry eagerly.
Mr Weasley gave him a sympathetic look, "You know I can't tell you, but Molly and I will come back here quite often seen as this is now the new Head Quarters, and I expect Remus, Tonks and the others will drop by occasionally too."
Harry continued eating and hid his disappointment. Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall walked in and sat at the two set places, McGonagall in her usual green robes but Dumbledore resplendent in robes of dark red. Harry swallowed the mouthful of bacon he had been eating.
"Professor? What's the password for the Gryffindor tower?"
Professor McGonagall's eyebrows shot up into her hairline. "It's Grindylow, but where did you three sleep last night then if you couldn't get into the tower?"
"The Room of Requirement."
"What? You both and Miss Weasley!" McGonagall looked horrified at the very idea. Dumbledore however seemed to find this quite amusing, "Well, I must commend you on your resourcefulness but perhaps it's for the best that not many young romantic couples know of the existence of this room." Ron, who had been listening to this conversation, choked into his pumpkin juice whilst Harry snorted and quickly filled his mouth with toast to stop himself from laughing out loud at McGonagall's expression.
"Ron! Stop that and drink it properly. What's so amusing?" Mrs Weasley's sharp voice echoing slightly in the empty hall reminded Harry painfully of the Howler she had sent Ron at the beginning of their second year and the sudden colour change of Ron's face from pale and freckly to bright red was identical. However, he was saved from answering by the clang of the front door being shut and a familiar bushy-haired fellow Gryffindor entering the hall carrying a purring Crookshanks. Ginny leapt up and went to hug her and Dumbledore stood as well, waving his wand for another chair to appear at the table.
"I hope we find you well Miss Granger," said Dumbledore, indicating for her to sit and help herself to food. Hermione sat herself down next to Ginny, smiling at everybody.
"Hello Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Mr Weasley, Mrs Weasley, Ron, Harry."
Harry noticed her gaze lingered on him then with a sigh and a shake of her head look away to talk to Ginny. Harry rolled his eyes; it was not his fault that he could not have a quiet summer without being kidnapped.
Mr and Mrs Weasley left after breakfast, warning Ron to keep out of trouble, a fact that he ranted at length about to Harry later who privately agreed with him; Ginny might look angelic but she could be just as devious as either of the twins when she put her mind to it. Hermione it turned out had just come back from a holiday in Cornwall when she got a message from Professor Dumbledore explaining what had happened and if she would like to join Harry, Ron and Ginny at Hogwarts for the rest of the summer. They filled her in on the parts she did not know and clarified others as they sat outside on the banks of the lake under a large oak tree.
"Well, at least you weren't hurt," she said eventually to Harry, "And I'm impressed at how you thought of flooing up here. Have they caught Karkaroff yet?"
Harry shrugged, he doubted they would be hearing much about what was happening in the Order seen as it was quite a bit more difficult to overhear what was being said in the Headmaster's Office than in Grimmauld Place and they also did not have the ingeniousness of George and Fred at their disposal. He watched Ron and Ginny battle each other over a game of wizard chess for a while and they looked evenly matched. Ginny cheered as her queen hauled one of Ron's knights off the board and Harry was suddenly dazzled at the play of sunlight across her hair. He started and quickly looked away to ask Hermione if she had finished her Charms essay yet but she was gazing at the back of Ron's head with a wistful expression. Harry did not think he had ever see Hermione look wistful about anything before, apart from perhaps a new book in Flourish and Blotts and sighed. Ron could be pretty gormless sometimes but even he must realise sometime that Hermione felt more than just friendship for him. He looked back at Ginny. Did he feel more than just friendship for her? He felt a lot more comfortable around her than he had around Cho but that was because she was completely the opposite. He did not have to worry about accidentally making her cry for one thing though that was not exactly Cho's fault, but it was just easier sitting and talking to her or even just not saying anything. What would Ron think though? Hermione stood up next to him and stretched, saying she was going back to the castle to get a drink of something.
"I'll come with you," said Harry and as he strode across the grass he once again marvelled at how quite Hogwarts was when they were the only ones there. He heard Hermione sigh behind him and he slowed his pace slightly, letting her catch up.
"You're in a hurry aren't you?"
Harry smiled, "Sorry, I was just thinking about something." Hermione studied him with a serious look on her face that he knew only too well.
"Is it your scar?" she asked. Harry looked surprised, he thought she was going to ask him about Ginny but then was even more surprised when he realised that he had not felt anything but slight twinges occasionally all summer. He shook his head.
"No, I haven't felt anything from it. No more dreams." There had been dreams, dreams of Sirius falling through the veil in a flash of green but he wasn't going to talk about them. He knew what they meant without other people analysing his feelings for him. Hermione seemed to understand and did not push him and this more than anything made Harry suddenly start talking about the guilt he felt, the guilt he had kept bottled up inside ever since it had happened. Hermione said nothing, letting him talk until the words ran out. They sat at the edge of one of the long tables in the Great Hall which had been set out again and just let the silence of centuries of history envelope them. After a couple of minutes, Hermione quietly began to speak.
"Sirius wouldn't want you to blame yourself, he knew what he was doing and he died saving those he loved, fighting evil. He wasn't the sort of man who could live locked away from the world, it was probably like being in Azkaban again but instead of the Dementors reminding him constantly about the bad times in his life, it was the things at Grimmauld Place including that horrible portrait of his mother. He did everything he could to distance himself from his family and their obsession with pure blood values but despite it all he was forced to live there and take the taunts of people like Snape who made him feel worthless. It was like last summer when we couldn't tell you what had been happening but imagine if you did know what was going on and yet you still were powerless to help do anything."
Harry sat looking at her amazed. He had never though about it like that before, true he knew that Sirius had hated being cooped up in Grimmauld Place but he had had his own problems to think about. He imagined living all day every day with a portrait of his aunt and uncle shrieking at him and Hermione and Ron dropping by occasionally detailing all the dangerous things they had been doing to battle Voldemort and blanched. No wonder Sirius had been surly when they had left to go back to Hogwarts. The hard knot of guilt inside him had eased a bit though he still blamed himself for Sirius' death at least he had died in a blaze of glory instead of growing steadily more and more bitter at being denied a life.
"Ron and Ginny will be wondering where we are."
Harry nodded and glanced up at the Gryffindor banner above him shifting slightly in a breeze, making the rampant lion seem alive as it flickered between light and shadow. Sirius had been a Gryffindor, living for the thrill of danger and fighting for those he loved, and this comforted Harry slightly as he followed Hermione out of the room and down to the kitchens.
Dobby dropped the spoon he had been using to stir a saucepan when he saw Harry enter the kitchen and practically leapt on the black haired boy, hugging his leg as tightly as he could.
"Dobby is glad Harry Potter is safe!" cried the house elf, sobbing into Harry's leg, "Dobby heard bad things had happened and worried Harry Potter had been hurt but now he is here safe with Professor Dumbledore!"
Harry smiled and gently prised Dobby off, handing him the hats that had fallen off in his excitement. Looking up he noticed Hermione's eyes narrow at seeing all of her previous years' work proudly displayed in an unstable tower on top of Dobby's head and hastily asked about Winky, who was not in her usual spot next to the fireplace. Surprisingly Dobby's ears perked up instead of drooping as they usually did when asked about the unfortunate house elf.
"Winky gone to serve a family again sir!"
Harry and Hermione both looked surprised and asked how that had happened.
"Professor Dumbledore sir, he knew how unhappy Winky was and said that he knew of a family in great need of help. Winky not happy at first, said that Winky would not betray Mr Crouch but Professor Dumbledore said that this family were related distantly to Mr Crouch, Winky the happiest Dobby has ever seen."
Hermione however did not look very happy. "So she is back being a slave to wizards?"
Dobby looked at her unimpressed, "Winky is happy, miss, and you should be happy for her."
Harry privately agreed but wanted to get some drinks before she got them thrown out of the kitchen again and after a quick word with Dobby, had a glass jug of pumpkin juice and four glasses as well as a plate of pumpkin pastries and other assorted cakes presented to them. He also remembered to thank Dobby for moving their trunks the other night and was rewarded by Dobby's beaming smile before he exited through the portrait and into the corridor outside. He thought Hermione had been distracted by the news of Winky but she immediately began to question him about the hats. He sighed and shifted the plate of pastries to his other hand.
"Yes, I knew Dobby had taken them all but I didn't want to say anything. You looked like you enjoyed knitting!"
Hermione hmphed and treated Harry to a stony silence all the way back down to the lake.
James stumbled to a halt and collapsed to his knees on the sparkling white sand. Despair had been his constant companion for the pass few days, ever since he had been marooned here but he had not felt it as acutely since he saw the pathway rolling away in the sky. At first he had tried to run back into the sea and swim until he found it again but once he left the safety of the reef the waves tossed him around helplessly, a mere speck floating on the surface of the huge swell. The constant struggle against the force of nature left him completely disorientated and it was only luck that led him back to shore before he was swept out into the open ocean for the rest of eternity. Then he had been overcome and just lay on the beach in a stupor, not being able to comprehend never seeing Lily again, the woman he devoted his life to, the very reason of his existence. Death had not changed this for him, if anything it had just brought them closer together than either had previously imagined because now they were reduced to their purest essence their love for each other was all consuming.
He raised his head and looked at the paradise around him, the wide sandy beaches, the coconut-laden palm trees gleaming glossily in the sun, the flawless azure sky and the warm turquoise ocean gently lapping the shore and hated every single part of it. He wanted to burn it all down, blast it into oblivion, rip it all into shreds because this perfection just amplified how ugly it all was compared to the red haired beauty he had married and being apart from her with no apparent way of returning was driving him insane. The only thing that prevented him from tipping over the edge completely was the one flicker of hope that he would find a way back to her and that hope kept him going. He would continue to search forever if necessary, until very existence itself ceased.
Sirius ran through the trees, a black blur that ignored the scratches and cuts from countless thorns and kept running through streams, marshes, fields and over hills, only stopping when he was too exhausted to carry on. He had to keep going, to find the end where he could reach the pathway again and find James. There must be an opening somewhere like there had been at Hogwarts but though he had been running for days there was no end to the wilderness. Wild thoughts had gone through his head in the first few hours after he had pulled himself out of the river, thoughts of killing himself. Perhaps because he was not dead, he would be retuned to the world of the living where he could either enter the veil again or die properly and hopefully return to Hogwarts the way Lily and James had, then from there enter the pathway again and search for James.
He had found several plants of the highly poisonous Deadly Nightshade and forced himself to eat the bitter black berries. He knew from Potions and his own family's hoard of poisons that just a few could kill yet he ate enough to kill several men and apart from hallucinating and suffering agonising cramps he still did not die. Severely weakened he wandered aimlessly until he came to the top of a hill and looked off into the distance towards the red-stained horizon of dusk and along the edge were a bank of black clouds. These transfixed the hope in him that he could one day reach the edge of this world and find where James had been flung. Holding this fragile thought he set off into the night.
After the evening meal, at which only the four Gryffindors were present apart from Nearly Headless Nick who drifted by for a chat, Harry and Ron sat in front of the blazing fire in the common room discussing what new inventions the twins had come up with for their recently opened shop and Hermione and Ginny were filling in a quiz in the latest edition of The Quibbler – 'Is Your Best Friend A Vampire?'
"Hermione, do you have an aversion to garlic or vegetables from the onion family in general?" asked Ginny.
Hermione considered this question with mock seriousness, "Well, I must confess that I'm not that keen on raw onion."
"Do you gaze at people's necks with a hungry expression on your face?"
Hermione glanced at Ron then turned red and mumbled, "No." Ginny grinned and looked from Hermione to Ron knowingly before ticking a box with a flourish.
"And does your skin suddenly self-combust if it comes into contact with sunlight?"
Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, "Honestly, could that magazine get any more ridiculous?"
"Now, now Hermione," tutted Ginny as she added up Hermione's score, "For all you know there could be witches and wizards out there that have no idea their best friend is a blood-sucking monster. This quiz could help make sense of all the times they've wanted to go out for a picnic and their friend's turned into a pile of ash in front of them." She finished looking up the answers and informed Hermione that she was almost definitely a vampire.
Later on when they had all gone to bed, Harry was lying wide-awake on top of his covers, watching silvery clouds drift across the moon outside. After half an hour he gave up trying to get to sleep and instead got up. Perhaps a walk would wear him out enough to get some sleep. He pulled on the invisibility cloak and padded silently from the dormitory, careful not to wake Ron. He touched his wand to the old piece of parchment he held and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Thin lines of ink spread out across the surface and he could see Peeves just around the corridor seemingly swerving around in an odd parody of a waltz. He could hear the poltergeist cackling to himself and insulting some of the paintings so Harry quickly strode off in the opposite direction, slipping behind a dusty tapestry and emerging on the floor below where. Another quick glance at the map confirmed that there was nobody else around Harry slowed his pace and wondered what other secrets the impassive stone walls kept. Other rooms that appeared only if you did certain things perhaps or passageways that nobody had discovered. Hidden vaults in the foundations like the Chamber of Secrets? This train of thought led him to his father and The Marauders. How often had they haunted these same corridors? Harry promised himself to ask Lupin next time he saw him exactly what they used to get up to, what pranks they pulled and how they made The Marauder's Map. Sirius, never far from his thoughts, surfaced again and Harry silently asked his godfather for forgiveness. Forgiveness for leading him to his death, forgiveness for not allowing him to come up to Hogsmeade to see them when it would have been the first time he'd have been out of Grimmauld Place since he accompanied them to the Hogwarts Express.
Coming out of his reverie he looked around him and realised he had made his way up to the corridor containing the Room of Requirement. He stopped and stared at the blank wall. Could it be possible? Excitement grabbing him, Harry walked quickly past the wall three times, all the time concentrating every fibre of his being on thinking of a way to save Sirius. With his godfather's last moments flickering across his mind he turned and stood motionless in front of the door that had appeared in front of him. His heart pounded in his chest, blood thundered in his ears as he imagined being able to see Sirius again, bring him back to life, do the impossible. He reached out a suddenly sweaty hand and slowly turned the handle. The sight that greeted him made the blood drain from his face.