A/N: Okay this is unbeta-d, and in case someone doesn't figure it out, this is all the same day as the last chapter.
Little bit of language alert for this one in a Sam/Jack convo! it's sorta just something that stuck in my head and i decided to put it in there even if it does seem out of character a little and i hadn't mentioned anything about it in the story previous. if anybody thinks i should have mentioned it earlier, let me know and i'll fit it into one of the earlier chapters somewhere.
Janet awoke at precisely 0930 the next morning, feeling refreshed but somewhat confused. The strong smell of bacon and coffee wafted up to her room. Cassie had left for school over two hours ago. Someone was in her house, but burglars don't usually make breakfast while they're robbing you blind, and Colonel obviously knew who her intruder was or he would have let her know something was wrong.
She pulled her robe around her pajama clad body and headed downstairs to see who it was invading her kitchen.
"Daniel?"
The archeologist turned around, startled, a spatula in his hand and eggs on the stove.
"Janet! Sorry, did I wake you?" He flipped the eggs with ease and stirred the bacon around to avoid burning it.
"No, I'm always awake by now on my days off. What are you doing here?" She folded her arms over her chest, the dinner invite from the night before completely forgotten after the previous night's chaos.
Daniel pointed the spatula at the table still set from the night before. "You invited me for dinner. Cassie and I thought that it would be nice if I came over ahead of time and cooked for you. I must have fallen asleep when you didn't come home."
The memory bombarded her quickly, and she blushed, ashamed she'd forgotten all about it. For the first time she noticed the melted candles and the place settings still sitting from the night before.
"I'm so sorry, Daniel. SG-12 came in hot last night. We lost Lt. Col. Garrison." Her arms were still crossed but now she wrapped them around herself as if to protect her from the memories. She could be strong, demanding, when her patients needed her to be, but it was later, hours after her job was done, that she let the emotions take over.
Daniel turned off the stove and pulled her into his embrace. "Shhh. It's okay, I'm sure you did all you could." He rubbed her back soothingly, hoping he could bring her some comfort.
She nodded into his shoulder, glad he was at least there. It was more than she could hope for really after the way she'd treated him and clung to him tighter. When she finally let go, she wiped her eyes clear and leaned against the counter.
"I'm sorry for the way I've treated you lately, Daniel." She stared down at her toes. "I don't know what came over me, and I don't know why I doubted you. I do love you, Daniel."
Daniel stepped in front of Janet, raising his hands to brush the hair behind her ears, and entwined his fingers behind her neck. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and touched his forehead to hers. "I love you, too, Janet. I have for a while now, and I'm sorry if I acted in any way to make you suspect that I would try to get Sarah back. You're too important to me for that."
Janet pulled him to her in a tight hug, their kiss passionate and hungry, unlike any they'd shared recently. Daniel pulled back breathlessly and grinned, pulling her up the stairs, their breakfast completely forgotten.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Jack did up Neal's overall's, letting him get up and crawl away, while he quickly finished dressing the other two boys, hoping to calm them as fast as he could. Liam was tired and cranky, Jake was hungry… and cranky, and Neal was hyper, just barely staying within Jack's eyesight. As soon as the twins were asleep he was going to see if he could find the Pack-n-Play for the next time one person got stuck with all three munchkins alone.
Jack sighed, knowing there wasn't anything within Neal's reach and the stairs were blocked off. All the doors were closed, so he couldn't get into anything, and he could hear him schluffing along in the kitchen where he could slide better.
He smiled as he picked up the twins as gently as he could, cradling one in each arm. Now, standing up was the hard part. His knees groaned, creaked, and cracked as he precariously balanced to stand to his full height. He was so old to be doing this type of stuff, but he loved it, everything about it. He grabbed the bottle he'd already started to warm up before changing the boys from the hot water in the kitchen sink and headed for the living room Glider rocker to hopefully rock Liam to sleep while feeding Jake.
Neal slid on his butt down the two steps to the living room and crawled at his father, a giant grin on his face. "Da-ee!" He pulled himself up, leaning between his father's knees.
Jack smiled back down at the little guy, stopping his motion so as not to knock him over. "Hey, Buddy. I'm kinda busy, why don't you go play with your toys?"
Neal shook his little head, bouncing on his legs and bashed the heel of his hand into Jack's thigh, just above his knee, bringing the pain to full force. Of course, Neal couldn't know that, so Jack kept his face neutral. "MamamamaMAMAMAMAMAMA!"
"Sorry, Big Guy. Mama's in the shower. We're giving her some time off this morning. Nate will probably be up soon." He smiled down at his son encouragingly.
Neal cocked his head to the side and crinkled his eyebrows. "Nay?" He started bouncing again but this time he didn't slam his hand down on Jack's knee and he sighed in relief. "Nay. NayNayNAY!"
Jack grinned as the little boy fell to his butt and crawled away just as Liam fell asleep. He could hear him shouting down the stairs at his brother and in only a couple minutes he heard Nate making his way up the stairs and over the baby gate.
He started rocking again, Jake's head cradled in the crook of his arm and his hand bent awkwardly to hold the bottle in the baby's mouth. It was just about empty and thankfully Jake was falling asleep. He stood, rocking as he walked to keep the two babies asleep, and settled Liam into his own crib Nate had helped put together the day before. He gently adjusted Jake onto his shoulder, rubbing his back gently to work the air bubbles out of his stomach.
Sam walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her dripping body, and smiled at the sight of her baby boy resting on her husband's bare chest. Just then, Jake let out a huge burp and both adults smiled lovingly at each other.
"That's my boy," Sam said, grinning as she wrapped her arms around Jack and Jake and looked into Liam's crib. Jake fell asleep almost immediately and Jack laid him in his own crib and turned around, wrapping Sam in his arms.
He gave her a soft, sweet, gentle kiss and whispered, "Good morning, Mommy."
She so loved the sound of that. "Good morning, Daddy." She knew they both sounded sappy, but it was them, and they were both ecstatically happy with their children.
Sam kissed him quickly again and pulled away to get dressed, but by the way she walked, Jack could tell immediately that something was on her mind. As she buttoned her pants and pulled her shirt over her head, she turned back to Jack, saying, "Can I talk to you about something?"
Jack's smile was warm and comforting. "Of course." He patted the bed next to him and wrapped her in his arms.
"What would you say if I told you I wanted to go back to work?" She wouldn't look up at him. It was something she'd been thinking about since Sea had come in and told her she was free to do as she chose.
Jack though for a second, knowing in his heart he would back her no matter what she chose. "We'd work something out, I promise. Whether we hired a Nanny, or found a good daycare, it doesn't matter as long as you're happy with our decisions. I'm sure Dixon and some of the other guys have suggestions for good sitters and stuff."
"Are you sure, Jack?" She finally looked up into his eyes, seeing he was completely serious.
"Yes."
She grinned and squeezed him tightly. "Thank you so much. But I have to tell you, that's not what I want."
"What?"
"I don't want to go back to work full time, but I do want to be involved in the program. I talked to General Hammond yesterday. We came to an agreement with your approval. I'll be on call status only after the twins are six months old with the understanding that if I'm called in and neither you or Nate – when he's home from school – are available, arrangements will be made for the boys to be looked after." Normally, she wouldn't show such nervousness at her decisions, but this would affect her family and she didn't want to screw it up.
Jack rubbed her arms comfortingly. "I think that's a great idea, as long as it's what you want to do."
The couple sat in silence, listening to their babies sleep, and holding each other gently. Jack stood, trying not to disturb his wife, and pulled a shirt out of the top drawer of his dresser. As the shirt cleared the edge and Jack was about to pull it over his head, Sam noticed a small rectangular box fall to the ground, a slight crinkling sound reaching her ears.
She hopped off the bed and snatched the little cardboard box off the floor before Jack even realized what had happened. She turned it over in her hands the frustration and anger started to rise as she realized what exactly it was she was holding. She stood and pushed Jack out the door to their bedroom forcefully, not wanting to wake either of the boys, and dragged him into the kitchen.
"What the hell is this?" she demanded, tossing the small package onto the counter. Oh boy, that made her sound like Uber Bitch, and that was exactly who she didn't want to be, but this was something she thought he was over and she didn't want her children exposed to it.
Jack's eyes widened and he visibly turned sheepish. He shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets and rocked on his feet. Before he could even say anything, Sam started in again.
"I thought you quit! All that stuff with Skaara and the lighter? Have you been lying this whole time?"
She started pacing back and forth in front of him, frustrated. "You're my husband, Jack! We're not supposed to keep secrets from each other! Do you really want our children to be inhaling this shit?"
Jack grasped her shoulders to stop her pacing, but she jerked her arm out of his grip. "Sam! Wait, come back," he pleaded as she started walking out the back door.
She was leaning against the railing, tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked out across the backyard, not once glancing at her husband as she spoke. "You're already older than me, Jack, and most likely going to die before me. That type of thing only shortens the time we have together."
"Sam, I'm sorry. I haven't touched those things since you came home and I promise, I won't touch them again." He approached her from behind and wrapped his arms lightly around her middle, knowing she was still a little sore from the birth of the twins only a couple of weeks ago.
The silence was tense for a moment. She could tell there was more Jack was going to say, but wasn't going to push him on the subject.
"I started smoking when I was twelve," he started with a heavy sigh. "Dad hated it, so when I got older I purposely smoked in my room, heavily. Sara smoked when we met, and neither of us were bothered by it. She quit when we found out about Charlie, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't, so I went outside. I'd quit for almost six months when he died and I started again, only far worse than before. When I watched Skaara choke on the smoke of a cigarette, I decided to quit again. I couldn't handle it, losing you like that. I've gone cold turkey again, and the distractions since you came back helped with that. I forgot that pack was in the drawer."
Sam turned around and wrapped her arms around him. "I didn't smell anything in the house?"
Jack shook his head. "Never smoked in the house. The stains are killer to try to get out," he added, trying to bring a bit of humor to the situation.
"Why didn't you tell me? Or any of us?"
"What was I supposed to say? Hi, I'm Jack and I chain smoke when things get a little too stressful." He threw up his hands in frustration and stalked away from Sam to the far corner of the back deck.
Sam leaned against the railing next to him, her back to the yard and rested her hand over his. She felt awful for what she'd said to him, but she was still upset he hadn't trusted her enough to say something sooner.
"It's only happened a few times," he started quietly after they'd sat in silence a few minutes. "After that crystal thing, Reetou Charlie, the uh, whole Jonah and Thera thing. Daniel's death almost set me off, but deep down I knew he was still alive."
"I'm sorry I accused you of lying to me. I just… I saw that pack of cigarettes fall out of your drawer, and I freaked. It's probably all the stress."
"It's okay. If the situation were reversed, I probably would have done the same thing," he reassured her.
The couple stayed in each other's arms in the cool morning air in complete silence until Jack noticed the goose bumps running up and down Sam's arms.
"C'mon. Why don't we go inside and check on the other two. I still need to drag out the Pack-n-Play so it's ready next time they gang up on me."
He pulled on her hand, dragging her back towards the house, but stopped just as he reached the door. "I know we haven't really had any time to be just you and me, no kids, no distractions, so, when you feel ready to leave them for more than just a few hours, I want to take you out. Maybe go to dinner, or any where else you wish to go. I want us to spend the day together. We've never actually done that before."
Sam smiled sweetly up at him and pushed up on her tip toes to kiss him. "I'd like that, Jack."
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Sea sighed as he climbed into his Jeep just before dinner and for the fist time since he started working at the SGC he'd be home before Tommy had to go to bed and actually be able to stay there. He'd be home in time for dinner and the commissary was no substitute.
He'd brought Sarah back to her room after she'd stopped crying and sat with her for a few hours. In that time, in an attempt to keep her mind off of what she'd been through, they'd talked more about his family and he'd come to a decision about what to do about Tommy. Having Sarah as a sounding board actually helped more than he'd thought it would, especially since she was an impartial third party. Secretly, though, he hoped she wouldn't remain that for long.
He really liked her, and he hoped Tommy would too, eventually anyway. She'd have to meet Sean and Jenny too. They both had been unsure about Cheryl in the beginning, but Jenny had liked her after a little while, and after she'd left them, he vowed to listen to his children's opinions. They mattered to him, even if Sean had gone through the phase where he didn't believe that to be true.
Eleanor was just starting dinner when Sea opened the front door. He walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, reaching around her to dip his finger into the spaghetti sauce. "Mmm. That's great, Mom."
She smiled at her son and slapped his hand away. "You can wait for dinner just like Tommy. Speaking of… he's outside working on that clubhouse thing. He's upset, and I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself out there."
Sea sighed and walked over to put his suitcase in the closet. "Thanks for letting me know," he murmured as he walked behind her to head out and talk to Tommy. This was going to be difficult, but at least his son had given him an excuse to talk to him.
"Hey Squirt," he said, approaching the frame Tommy had built for the clubhouse. It was a special project he'd been working on since they'd moved into the house. He and Jerod had had one at his old house, and since his dad had taken the door away on his new room, he was building his own private space for the two of them for when Jerod came to visit.
"Don't call me that," he muttered, swinging the hammer down onto another nail.
Sea picked up another hammer and started helping Tommy work on the frame. After setting a few nails in silence, Sea spoke up softly, still swinging the hammer. "Your Uncle Jack does."
Tommy pounded the nails harder. "I like Uncle Jack."
Fine, Sea thought. Be like that. "Beat up any classmates today?" he asked sarcastically. Maybe being in such close proximity to Jack wasn't such a good thing. Of course going through the same thing starting almost sixteen years earlier wasn't helping his patience any, either.
He could see Tommy clench his jaw, his eyes turning stony. Well, that was okay. He didn't come out here to have a conversation, he came out here to talk. He let the silence continue for another few minutes, working out in his mind how he was going to start.
"You're a lot like your brother, you know, and sometimes it scares me."
Tommy's swing faltered and he smacked the wood next to the nail.
"What? You don't think your old man gets scared? Let me tell you something." He was still swinging away at the nails, thankful he had experience from the old fort he and Jack had built up at the cabin in Minnesota. "I've been a single father since I was twenty-one, I worry about you guys ever day."
"Sure don't act like it."
"Do you know why I've always tried to make sure you knew the dangers of drugs and alcohol?"
Tommy shrugged. "Who cares? They're bad, don't do it."
"Did your brother or sister ever tell you how their mom died?"
"Why would they? She wasn't my mom," he snapped bitterly, driving a nail through the board in one smooth stroke.
Sea's eyes widened as he realized how strong his eleven year old son really was. He shook his head clear and continued on. "When Jenny was born, it was too much for her body to take. Sean was lying next to her on the bed when she died. He was only three, but he remembers it. After his friend Jerod died, it got worse. He started hanging around the wrong type of kids. Older kids, who had too much influence over him. He started smoking pot when he was your age."
Tommy's head shot up to stare at his father.
"I didn't even know when it started until after Jerod was born. As he got older, your brother started doing harder, worse drugs, and he started drinking. He almost died, Tommy." Both father and son had stopped working on the clubhouse and sat in the dirt, twiddling the hammers.
Tears started rolling down Tommy's cheeks. He didn't know his brother had almost died. Nobody'd ever even mentioned it. Nobody said anything about Sean getting sick. "What happened?" he choked out.
Sea was silent, his mind drifting back to the day he found his son strung out and nearly dead in an abandoned warehouse. "Do you remember the different types of drugs we talked about?"
Tommy nodded his head.
"Sean got into all sorts of drugs. He took ecstasy, snorted cocaine, smoked pot in his room. If it hadn't been for Rhiana and Jerod, your brother wouldn't be alive right now. She told me about Jerod because she couldn't find Sean. When I found him in an abandoned warehouse, he was so close to dieing; he almost overdosed. I rushed him to the hospital just barely in time. After he woke up, I was able to talk to him about Rhiana, and we checked him into a Rehab clinic. That's where they go to get the drugs out of his system, but he got really sick first and they had to help him through it."
The little boy's eyes got wide and the tears came faster now that he knew and understood what his brother had gone through. He felt awful for the way he'd been acting lately, at least toward his dad and grandma.
"When I see the way you've been acting lately, all that goes through my mind is how much I don't want you to go through that, too. You weren't even a year old yet when that happened. I've picked up a little of why you've been acting the way you have, but I won't understand unless you talk to me. I know it's been hard, moving away from your brother and Jerod, and your grandfather dieing, starting a new school."
Tommy's head dropped and he twirled the hammer in the dirt. "What happened to my mom?" he asked, voice quivering with uncertainty.
"Your mom was a counselor in the same building where I was taking Sean and Jenny after we first moved to Texas. She was… a very beautiful woman. We were together for almost a year before we got married. Jenny didn't like her at first, but by the time she moved in with us, Sean was actually acting like a normal kid his age. Four months after our wedding, your mom found out we were going to have you. I was really excited, but your mom was so scared. She never handled any of it well. We thought after you were born, maybe she'd get better. She seemed so happy holding you, but when you were released, your uncle, your mom's brother, took her out of the hospital while I was finishing up your paperwork and getting you settled in your carrier."
"She just left?"
Sea nodded, letting his own tears finally gathering in the corners of his eyes. "Somebody had obviously been to the house while I was gone because all her clothes were gone and there was a note on the table."
"What'd it say?"
"Just that she was sorry and wouldn't be back." He pulled his son into his arms as they both broke down and held him tightly. "I'm so sorry, Tommy, so sorry."
Father and son sat together in the dirt, clinging together until they were all cried out, though Sea really only let one tear slip out from behind his closed lids. Tommy pulled out of his father's grasp and wiped his eyes furiously.
"I'm sorry," Sea just barely heard as Tommy's head dropped, his chin almost touching his chest.
He just nodded in response even though his son couldn't really see it, not really sure what to say to that. He should be sorry. He'd caused a lot of people a lot of trouble, but he couldn't be mad at him. Not now that he'd finally explained some of their family's oddity.
"I still love you, you know." He wrapped his arm around Tommy's shoulders. He paused before delving into the problem he'd been trying to figure out all day. "Why'd you hit that kid?"
Tommy shrugged, still unwilling to reveal his deep seeded thoughts on making new friends. Instead, he asked his own question. "Did you and my mom get divorced?" He'd known kids at his old school whose parents had gotten divorced and he'd always wished he could be able to explain his mother's non-existence in his life in the same way.
"Yes. When your Uncle Larry showed up with the papers, I signed them immediately. I'm sorry. I thought it would be better for you. She didn't want to see you then and I don't think it would be a good idea for either of you to see each other now. When you get older, if you wish, I'll help you look for her."
Tommy gave his dad a tiny smile, just barely pulling up the corners of his mouth, the first hint he was going to be okay anyone had seen since the move, especially after Patrick's death. The boy sighed. "If I don't make any friends, I don't have to try and explain why I don't have a mom. We don't even have any pictures."
Sea pulled him in closer to his side. "That's my fault. I can't seem to bring myself to pull them out of the boxes. I was still young and hated her for a long time for leaving. If you want, I can find some of them and you can pick one out for your room."
"Thanks," Tommy said, his smile widening. He hugged his dad tighter, willing to work just a little more to be civil from now on. He was still frustrated that Jerod was so far away, but his dad was in the military and he understood enough to know they'd been ordered to Colorado.
"Can I talk to you about something completely different?" Sea changed the subject suddenly. This was something he would discuss with Tommy, a subject he'd never broached with his other two kids before the fact and look where that had gotten him.
Tommy looked up at him, confused. "Um, sure?"
"How would you feel if I started dating?"
Tommy thought for a second, his face twisting as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Would you listen to me if I didn't like her?"
"I'd take it into consideration, and we'd talk about whatever it is you don't like about her. First just us, then with Sa… um, whoever I happen to date. What do you think?"
Tommy nodded his head. "Okay."
A/N: So sorry it's taken so long to get this up! There's been a lot going on, including my new job which is particularly scaring the snot outta me right now, and my older "brother" is in the hospital after getting his apendix out last night, after just getting back from being deployed by the National Guard b/c of the flooding up here.
anyway, i think this might be the second to last chapter. not sure yet, please aske me any questions you might have so i can get some idea of what still needs to be cleared up. Thanks!