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Message subject: OMFG LMAO READ DIS!11
Posted by I Don't Have A Dog Name.

Omg, guyz. U no how I live on da floor above jack's 'partment, right? Well, david was there the other day and they were goin at it. U no wut I mean. Those 2 r definitely gei. I am not joking. repost this in 5 minutes or ur luv life will suck more than those 2 did the other day. Oh, and I got 3 nu pics. Pleeze comment.

---Spot

400-500 words short story paper assignment.
Story by Kid Blink and Mush.
Mrs. Platt's 4th period class.
June 7th 2006.
Which is a Wednesday, just so you know, Mrs. Platt.

Comments:

"We were inspired to write this will recalling an event that happened last year (although we added some spontaneous stuff to it that never really happened). We were talking on the phone, and Mush said the story aloud, and I typed it up. That is why the parenthesis and stuff are a bit screwed up. Plus we were a high. Sorry, Mrs. Platt."

He was really pissed. He was really really pissed.

Mush slowly but purposely walked towards the fence. He purposely walked there because he wanted to get there. And it was on purpose. That's why it was purposely done. Like that yo.

After he was purposely at the fence, he opened the gate of the fence, and she yelled:

"WHAT THE FUZZ, YOU FUDGING MOTHER FUDGERS! (This isn't really what he said; we're just trying to remember what happened a year later, almost.)"

What happened next both shocked and amused Mush. Morris had pulled his pants down along with two of his mother fudging friends. Mush and Jack laughed their heads off instantly. After they retrieved their heads, they returned the spot in which they had started to laugh. Then they laughed some more, but this time their heads did not come off. And then David, their friend who is homosexual, exclaimed in a high falsetto voice:

"Hey, it's my turn to laugh with Jack now and have my head roll away as well."

And then David talked to himself out loud and said:

"Oh darn, I'm in public, not at home. I'm not supposed to use my girl voice in public when I am not at home."

Then he repeated what he said in a high falsetto voice in a manly voice, which didn't really sound manly because David isn't manly at all.

And Jack and everybody else stood silently for an awkward moment (in parenthesis, say: a little baby boy named Patricio was born, who would later be known as Patty)

Hhhokay, ready, ready, ready?

Hhokay, so, oh wait no, smirk chuckle chuckle giggle laugh laugh chuckle weeze gasp for air honk honk honk cough sneer squeak laugh breath chuckle weeze okay I'm done

Good. My stomach hurts and it's so flabby. Um…so after that awkward silence that was awkward, wait okay, are you still typing? Ummm…Let me reminisce, hypoderm abrasion on my face, no, micro, not hypo chuckle chuckle wait, okay, so back to the story, uhhhaahhh, I can't think. Exclamation point! Oh man, hold on.

So after that awkward silence that was awkward, everyone just kind of stared at David again. And went back to the Morris thing. That's such an ugly name. Wow Blink, you're a very loud typist. So Morris was still mooning and David got a good look at the male anatomy. (In parenthesis, why do they have so many parts to label in FLE? Question mark.)

Hold on I'm going to rinse the stuff off my face. For shizzle. Elephant noise. Hold on. Loser, only winners can make elephant noises. I knot know. My face is uber soft. Double oo. Oober. Rudolph the red nose reindeer had a very shiny nose!

The end.

Stuyvesant232 has signed on.

SantaFe1934 has signed on.

Stuyvesant232: Hey Jack. Sup?

SantaFe1934: WTH Dave?

Stuyvesant232: Huh?

SantaFe1934: Guess who came up to me today?

Stuyvesant232: Who?

SantaFe1934: Mr. Trials.

Stuyvesant232: The guidance counselor?

SantaFe1934: Yeah. Know what he said?

Stuyvesant232: What?

SantaFe1934: He told me that if I had any questions about my sexuality, I should head down to guidance.

Stuyvesant232: Oh.

SantaFe1934: Yeah, oh. You know what happened the other day wasn't on purpose, right?

Stuyvesant232: No, I don't.

SantaFe1934: It was, Dave. I fell.

Stuyvesant232: Kind of funny that you fell directly on top of me and kissed me, you know.

SantaFe1934: I didn't kiss you! I fucking fell and my fucking mouth smashed into yours! I practically broke my jaw!

Stuyvesant232: What about the rest?

SantaFe1934: The rest? My fucking zipper got stuck in your belt loop! The thrusting was not fucking intentional!

Stuyvesant232: Will you stop with the "fuck"s? Geez, Jack. If your zipper was stuck you could have just pulled it out with your hands.

SantaFe1934: You think I really wanted to put my hand near your cock?

Stuyvesant232: I don't know, Jack!

SantaFe1934: Ugh, Dave…I'm sorry. Look, the whole thing was an accident. Why don't you believe that?

Stuyvesant232: When there are sexual accidents, most people don't shout "Oh fuck" about ten times. They don't close their eyes. They don't try and touch the entire surface area of someone's body. They don't start panting and moaning and climax on accident.

SantaFe1934: I…Davey…

Stuyvesant232: …

SantaFe1934: Fine. I admit it. It wasn't an accident. Just...it isn't gonna happen again. And please stop telling everyone.

Stuyvesant232: I didn't tell anyone!

SantaFe1934: What about that science report?

Stuyvesant232: I never turned that in! Not the last part, at least!

SantaFe1934: So how come everyone knows? How did Mr. Trials know?

Stuyvesant232: I'm not sure! Spot lives on the floor above you, he probably heard us.

SantaFe1934: I didn't make that much noise!

Stuyvesant232: …

SantaFe1934: Shit. This is bullshit. This is absolute male cow feces!

Stuyvesant232: Relax, Jack. We're gonna figure this out.

SantaFe1934: I hope so.

Stuyvesant232: We will.

SantaFe1934 is away.

Stuyvesant232: Jack?

Stuyvesant232's Away Message: Where does it say you gotta live and die here? Where does it say a guy can't catch a break? Why should you only take what you're given? Why should you spend your whole life livin'? Trapped where there ain't no future. Even at seventeen…

Stuyvesant232: Talk to you later, Jack.

SantaFe1934 has returned from away.

SantaFe1934: No, Dave. I need some time to think.

SantaFe1934 has signed off.

Stuyvesant232 has signed off.