Note: I know I'm a big meanie, but I come from the school of Joss Whedon in which whenever people are happy you must ruin them. So sorry te he. Thanks for all the great reviews this time around. And I really really mean it. Thanks so much. And a note about the last chapter, some of the grammar disappeared when I transferred the file to notepad (it's the only way I could upload, was being grumpy) so sorry about that! Public service announcement: Suicide is bad, as is self-mutilation. Please seek help if you have thoughts of either of them. Somebody does love you. Also I have to give a shout-out to the amazing movie Breakfast on Pluto which helped me with Angel's outfit. Enjoy all.
The minute that Collins went down to the basement and explained what happened to Mimi, Joanne, and Maureen, the party was over. Mrs. Cohen quickly cut up the cake and gave each kid a piece as they left. Maureen and Joanne were the first to go their hands still firmly attached. Each mumbled to Roger that they were sorry, but he gave them no response. Mimi headed off on her own wiping away a few tears as she did without a word to Roger. Angel and Collins helped the rocker stand and walked him home. Although Collins tried to get his friend to talk, he stayed silent the whole way to his mother's trailer. When they reached it he slipped inside and didn't look back. Angel and Collins walked each other home and hugged for a long time before they parted. They knew that the upcoming days were going to be difficult.
And they were. Mark called Roger, Angel called Roger, and Collins called Roger. They called each other to see if any of them got to Roger. None of them had. Going to school on Monday Collins hoped to corner him, but when first period came, Roger's desk was still empty. Mark threw Collins a worried look. They couldn't expect him to return to normal right away…but…he couldn't stay quiet in the trailer forever. The lesson flew by both of their heads, their worries lying on their friend and not on Napoleon.
At the end of the lesson their history teacher held up three pieces of paper, "We have a few passes for the counselor. Roger Davis?"
"He's not here." Mark said in a quiet voice. The teacher nodded and went to the next pass.
"Mark Cohen." Mark cleared his throat and went up to take the pass when the teacher called out, "Thomas Collins." Collins walked up beside Mark and they took their passes and left the room.
As they walked through the hallways they couldn't help but notice they were the only ones. No other friends of April were coming out of classrooms crying or shaking in shock. Collins knew that she was on her own most of the time, but he had always assumed she had some friends of her own. A voice came over the loud speaker in every classroom which made the sound echo in the hallways. It was time for the daily announcements. Mark and Collins met eyes but they said nothing. The voice of the Principal, Miss Gateire said, "Good morning students, though I know most of you wonder if it truthfully is a good morning. Last night we were informed that one of your classmates, April Erickson, took her own life. We must offer her family the greatest condolences and support. Please keep April in your prayers. I have sent out a few passes to the guidance counselor for those of you who seemed closest to April. If you are also feeling distressed by this tragic event you are also excused from class to see a counselor. And a note for all of you: Suicide is not an answer. There are times in our lives in which we think that we've hit rock, bottom and that there is no turning back. But there is always hope. There is always someone there who wants to see you happy, healthy, and alive. There is always someone who will listen to you if only you ask. If you or you know of a friend who is contemplating suicide or practicing self-mutilation please talk to someone about it. That's all for this morning. Have a good day." Silence seemed to settle on all of the classrooms they passed. Collins saw a teacher covering her mouth in horror. Looking away he held his breath wondering if April knew what she had left behind.
When they reached the counselor's office Collins held the door open for Mark while reading the newly painted letters on the glass, "Paul Soloman". He took a seat in the waiting area. Much to their surprise, there was someone there. And to even more of their surprise, it was Lydia. The gossip queen and head cheerleader was reapplying her make-up looking anything but phased.
Collins shook his head taking a seat, "Somehow Lydia I really doubt that you're in mourning." Lydia looked up at Collins and snapped her compact closed.
"Well hello, Tom. She was my lab partner. Apparently that means that we were close pals or something." Lydia shrugged pulling a tube of mascara to reapply, "I don't care it gets me out of class."
Mark balled his fists but Collins stayed him. He hung out with this girl for three years, he knew that she was a self-centered bitch that would never change. Collins was never too fond of her.
Lydia smirked, "So Tom, how's your love life?"
Collins ignored her question but threw back one at her, "Is it true you're going after Robbie?" Mark's eyes went wide.
Lydia smiled deeply putting away the mascara and pulling out a lip gloss from her purse, "It's the truth. He's got such a hot body. I can't wait to get my hands on him and oh, I will." Mark snorted and looked down at his hands.
"What's his problem?" Lydia asked pointing to Mark with her lip gloss wand.
Collins just smiled, "Good luck with that. He might get confused though…fair warning."
"What?" Lydia asked looking annoyed.
The guidance counselor came out into the waiting area and called out, "Lydia?" The beauty queen huffed at Mark and Collins and followed the counselor into his office.
Mark had to smile, "Mighty confused." Collins returned the smile and looked at the clock. It seemed like Lydia was taking full advantage of the fact that she was getting out of class. By the time lunch time came around she still hadn't left Mr. Soloman's office.
Collins sighed and looked over at Mark, "Wanna bail?" Mark nodded getting up from the chair. They knew that they weren't the ones that needed to talk. They were just worried about Roger. He was the one that needed to talk to a counselor, and if he was withdrawing as much as Collins thought he was…he might need more than just Mr.Soloman.
When Mark and Collins left the guidance office they went straight for ShirleyNanetteGarret, yearning for similar surroundings. The cafeteria, as being the gossip breeding ground, was louder than usual. Kid after kid sharing their April experience stories. Some cried even though they barely knew her. Just like Collins and Mark. As they took their seats a rush of red came into view. Maureen leaned on Roger's empty chair, a weak smile on her face.
"Hey guys…" She said quietly.
Mark waved a bit, although he was focusing on pulling his brown bag lunch from his backpack. Collins eyes were on him.
"Hi there Mo." Collins said glancing up at her. The corner of her lips curled up slightly but they quickly turned down.
"Umm…" She looked back at the drama table. The kids seemed more interested in reading through Tony Kushner's most recent play then Maureen's absence. "Can I sit here?"
Collins nodded when Mark shrugged. "Welcome to ShirleyNanetteGarret. Enjoy your stay." Collins said in a voice resembling a flight attendant. Maureen ignored his attempt to make her smile.
"Have you heard from Roger? I really didn't expect him to come to school today but…" She let her words fade out while she examined her fingernails halfheartedly. Mark once again kept quiet, eating his sandwich.
Collins shook his head, "None of us have."
"I think he might have pulled the plug on the phone." Mark mumbled. When the two eyed him he looked into his pudding, "He's done it before…when he's writing. But never…not this long." Maureen bit on her nails worry on her face, Collins leaned over to pat her on the back. She smiled a bit thankful for his encouragement. It was odd but Collins felt completely at ease with the drama queen now. And even though Mark wasn't very talkative, Collins knew his silence was because he was worried sick about Roger. It had nothing to do with the girl he was crushing on for years. They had found something special that night. Collins didn't know what it was. If it was the piñata, the small talk, or the tragedy. But he felt an overwhelming need to bring everyone back together again. It seemed that the fates heard Collins' thoughts.
"Mark? Collins?" A voice he knew as Mimi's said. Collins looked back and he did find the young girl he knew, except she had changed. Now she was wearing a school uniform, a longer black skirt and gray sweater. But the biggest change in Mimi was in her face. It looked stressed as if she had aged years in the past days. Angel stood beside her in the male version of the school uniform. Black dress pants and a similar gray sweater, but Angel had sewed in some sequence on the left shoulder. She looked around the cafeteria probably being assaulted by many bad memories. With a deep breath she focused on Collins.
Her boyfriend leaped out of his chair, "Angel? Mimi? You probably shouldn't be here…" But Angel calmed his nerves by placing her soft palm on his chest.
"There's no possible way they would remember me. Don't worry, we're just stopping by for a few minutes then we're heading back to school." Collins' body relaxed but his eyes wandered among the cafeteria just to make sure.
"Any word from Roger?" Mimi asked biting on her lip and changing her stance.
Maureen shook her head confirming Angel and Mimi's fears.
"No word at all?" Mimi asked with desperation in her voice. Collins was amazing by this girl. She had only met Roger twice, but already she seemed so attached to him.
"No." Mark said simply and then his voice showed a hint of anger as he continued, "No phone calls, no visits, no nothing. Not a thing." Sensing his frustration Collins put his hand on Mark's shoulder. Even Maureen rubbed the filmmaker's back gently.
Mimi looked at the clock and took Angel's hand. "We better go."
"Already?" Maureen asked, saying what they were all thinking. Mimi didn't respond and headed for the door after letting go of Angel's hand. She didn't bother to wait for her friend, she looked as if she was desperate to just get away.
Angel turned to the three and frowned, "Mimi's having a rough time…I better get her back…I'll see you guys at the funeral later today…" Angel looked at the three biting her lip. In a flash she hugged both Mark and Maureen. She went to Collins and whispered, "Can I kiss you?" Her voice was tentative, and her eyes trailed down to her current male oriented outfit, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable in this gossip-" Collins cupped Angel's face and kissed her sweetly.
"I'm never uncomfortable with you." Collins murmured letting his hands slide down to the base of her neck. A deep smile spread across her face. She kissed his cheek and ran off after Mimi.
Collins kept his eyes on her until she was out of sight. Maureen and Mark had sat back down at the table already to give the couple some privacy. The teen took his seat and nodded to the both of them. He didn't even notice the voices in the cafeteria getting progressively louder. But he did notice Lydia who tapped his shoulder. He looked up at her, "You finally released Mr. Soloman from your clutches?" He said with a nod as if he was impressed. Lydia crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.
"Who was that?" She asked pointing in the direction Angel had left in. Collins knew now that almost every eye in the cafeteria was on him. Especially Mark and Maureen's.
Collins cleared his throaty and looked up at Lydia without a hint of discomfort or fear saying, "He's my boyfriend."
Angel flipped up the collar of the black dress shirt on her body and slipped a tie around it. A few tears were in her eyes when she tied the pale silver tie and flipped down the collar again. Looking in the mirror she saw Collins dressed in a similar manner slowly walking towards her. Nathan had let him in immediately, getting used to his presence at the household.
"I didn't have time to make a dress. A black dress. Everyone should have one. A simple cocktail dress…but…" Angel's shoulders shook until Collins put his hands on them.
"You look fine. Anyway Ang, you make clothes for life. Not for this…" He whispered to her holding on tightly to her shoulders. Angel nodded weakly but looked up at Collins with fear in her eyes.
"You…wouldn't you rather I wear…the clothes I usually do?" Her voice was shaky as she said it. It reminded Collins of the way she talked to him at school. At the time he thought she was just worked up about April but now he realized what was bothering her. She was uncomfortable…or more she was scared he wouldn't love her out of drag. Collins looked at Angel in the mirror and leaned his head over to trail kisses up and down her neck. Angel closed her eyes opening them only when Collins put his chin on her shoulder. His large arms wrapped around Angel's small waist.
He whispered into her ear, "I love you, Angel. Not the clothes on your back. You're beautiful to me no matter what you wear." Angel turned around to face him and kissed him gently wrapping her arms around his shoulder. Collins let his lips wander from hers' to grace her eyelids and then her forehead. When he felt Angel's body relax against his, he rubbed her back and pulled her close.
Angel rested her head on his chest, "I love you, too." Collins smiled gently and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
Taking one of her hands he whispered in her ear, "C'mon, baby. We gotta go." Angel looked up at him nodding. She wiped away any signs of tears that were on her face. Hand in hand they walked out of the house and towards the funeral parlor.
Post: This chapter was really hard for me. I just wanted to do so much in so little time. So I hope you liked it even though it's not so happy. Next Chapter: The funeral, facing Roger and the stars.