Note: Wow thanks for all the reviews, I feel the love! Here's a new chappie and I gotta say it gets kinda weird at the end, but I think it's beautiful weird. The naiveté of the baby bohemians, as well as the endless hope. You'll see what I mean. I quote the song "Are We the Waiting" by Greenday which I do not own. Nor do I own RENT. And this service takes place at night…not likely I know but hey I needed it to be at night.
Angel and Collins walked slowly into the funeral parlor hand in hand. As he opened the door for her she whispered, "Have you ever done this before?" Collins looked down at her and shook his head.
"No, I haven't." Angel sighed in relief.
"Me either." Collins put his arm around Angel's waist and guided her to the main room. They'd make it through together. Maureen and Joanne were already inside seated in the far back chairs.
"Hi ladies." Collins said quietly. Maureen seemed to jump in shock and only steadied when Joanne put her hand on her girlfriend's leg.
"It's just Collins…and Angel." Joanne explained taking a few moments for her to recognize Angel out of drag, and out of bright colors. Maureen wiped tears that were already forming in her eyes.
"Hi guys. Sorry I was…thinking." Maureen said turning her body so she was looking straight ahead. Joanne frowned and cleared her throat following her eye level.
Collins scanned the chairs hoping to spot Roger among the gathered people. But he didn't see his friend. It seemed like mostly family members had attended. Spotting April's mother, his stomach flipped. She was crying into her husband's lap, her whole body shaking with loss. Collins couldn't take his eyes off of her.
"No sign of Roger?" Angel asked the girls quietly. Joanne shook her head glancing back to see Mark adjusting his tie as he walked in. At least, he was attempting to adjust his tie.
"I could never understand these things…but my mom said I was too young for a clip on." Angel smiled slightly and went to fix his tie.
"It really isn't that hard…" She said quietly. When she fixed it she kissed Mark's check and rubbed his arm, "Love you." Mark met her eyes before hugging her.
"Love you, too." A man walked up to the front of the parlor where April's body was left on display. Taking this as the cue for the beginning of their service, the group took their seats next to Joanne and Maureen.
Joanne leaned over to Collins and whispered in his ear, "Maureen told me Roger wasn't at school today…you think maybe he's sick?" She asked trying to figure out why Roger had yet to show up.
"I guess it's possible." Collins mumbled to her although he really doubted it. Unless the stress caused him to be sick…still it was unlikely.
The man that walked up towards the podium cleared his throat and moved the microphone down to be level with his mouth. "April was my niece." He started holding in some breath for a moment, "I remember when she was a baby she would…pull out all of the books on my bookshelf. At the time I didn't appreciate it. I told my sister that she should take April back as if she could be returned to a store. I was ten at the time so…I'm not a horrible person or anything." There were a few nervous chuckles from the group gathered. Joanne seemed to find it more funny than the rest of them, she had to bite on her bottom lip hard to stop laughing.
"But now…" April's uncle continued, "I just wish…that she could come back." He took a seat down next to April's mother who wrapped her arms around him tightly.
Out of the corner of Collins' eyes he saw Angel look up towards the ceiling for a moment. Then her eyes got big, "Roger?" She whispered. Roger was standing in the doorway of the funeral parlor. It looked like if he were to take one more step inside he would loose all of the contents of his stomach. He was dressed in a dark blue shirt, which was hanging outside of his black pants. There was no tie or bow tie around his neck. The first couple buttons of his shirt were open as if he was afraid of choking himself. His breath was irregular and his green eyes were glued to the casket.
"Roger?" Angel said again this time a bit louder leaning over Collins. Mimi held her breath looking up at him and blinking back tears. Roger didn't respond at all, he didn't even twitch at the sound of his name.
"I can't." He whispered to himself running out of the funeral parlor. Mark practically jumped over Angel to run after him. Collins stood up steadying Mark before he hurt himself.
"It's ok…we'll follow him." Collins scooted with Mark past Joanne and Maureen. They ran after Roger, and neither of them had to look back to see that the rest of the kids were at their heels. Especially Angel who pulled out in front of them.
"Roger!" Angel called out as she passed Mark and Collins, she was the fastest runner among them. Roger just kept running back behind the funeral parlor towards a wooded area. There were no lights that would guide their way, just pitch black. But Roger didn't hesitate, he threw himself into the dark. His friends kept going as well, following the bob of his light hair up and down. It was the only thing that they could recognize through the dark.
"Mimi, be careful!" Maureen said to the girl as she tripped on a tree root. Joanne grabbed Mimi's arm and helped her up. She didn't seem phased and just ran at her full speed again. Joanne reached out Maureen's hand and found it which tightened around her own.
Collins pulled Mark out of the way of a tree, things were getting harder and harder to see as the forest thickened. Mark didn't nod a thank you as he usually would. He just kept running. They all kept running.
Roger didn't stop until the trees cleared and the earth came to a sudden stop.
"Shit!" Collins screamed recognizing there was a cliff right before Roger. The rocker slowed and looked down the cliff. Angel screamed to him but her voice was ignored by the boy. His eyes raised from the chasm up towards the horizon line. Small lights on large buildings. The tallest buildings that Roger had ever seen. Just as Angel reached Roger, his knees gave out. He hung his head into his hands, Angel dropped to him putting her hands around his shoulders.
Collins and the rest of the group finally caught up with Angel and Roger.
"God, I thought he was going to jump." Joanne whispered to herself out of breath. Mark looked back at her and nodded, he had thought the same thing. Now all of their eyes landed on Roger.
"Roger." He just sobbed as Angel tried to connect with him, "Roger look at me." Angel pushed his chin up so their eyes would meet, "You're gonna get through this, sweetie. You may have lost someone who loved you…but there are six other people here that love you. You cannot forget that. We love you, Roger."
Roger's whole body shook as he said, "But it's my fault. It's my fault, Angel. I can't face her family not after what I did."
Angel shook her head hard, "Honey…what she did…yes she was sad because you left. But no suicide is that simple. There was something else…wrong with her Roger. Collins and Mark said she barely had a friend. And that she withdrew…honey. She had problems, and no one knew. Her death is not your fault. Did you know this was going to happen?" She asked him cupping his face. Collins glanced over at Mimi who was shaking, he walked over to her and put his arm around her protectively.
"No…no…" Roger's voice was tentative, "I had no clue…even that she cut herself. I didn't know until…after…her parents didn't even know. She was doing it long…before I even met her."
Angel closed her eyes slowly and reopened them, "Then don't you see, it's not your fault. You didn't know what was happening or what could happen. Roger, you were the best thing that happened to her. For a moment she loved life. It couldn't last forever…but you gave her that. You gave her love, Roger." Angel's friend leaned into her. She wrapped her arms around him and rubbed his back gently.
Mimi buried her head in Collins shirt while he held her close. Maureen and Joanne turned to each other to share an innocent kiss and then allowing their foreheads to meet. Mark took hold of his elbows and looked up at the skyline. Then his eyes wandered up into the sky itself, "You can't tell the difference really. Between the stars and the lights of New York." He mumbled to himself. Looking back at Scarsdale he frowned, "There's no stars here. Just hushed voices and suppressed emotions."
Mimi sniffed and gave Mark a confused look, "What are you talking about?"
Mark tilted his head to the lights of the city, "Look. The stars in the buildings. Hope and acceptance. No oppression…well not outright at least. Nothing holding people down. They can live their lives without fear from being who they are. They're stars. People happier than ever before…shining. Showing the world who they are without reservations. Life. Real life happening and not just being talked about." Mark wiped his face and sighed.
Everyone seemed to calm at his words. Roger pulled back from Angel and gazed at the skyline. Angel tried to smile, "I've heard…that there's plenty of…drag queens there. It's not like here…where you hide who you are. Those ladies live their lives out loud." Her smile grew, "And sure skinheads, bigots, but they're everywhere. But there…you don't have to hide the skirts. You can wear the biggest damn heals you want. And if people scoff you just move on. No gossip or threats of 'telling your parents'. Just being you. Just being"
"Performances that mean something." Maureen said quietly, "Not just for clapping or laughs. Pats on the back. People that make a difference through performance. Maybe police and jail time…but a difference. Making a difference."
"Uncovering the truth." Joanne said simply squeezing Maureen's hand.
Collins nodded, "Spreading the word on a street corner to all who'll listen. Even those who don't listen…they'll pick up the passion. Living for a cause and not just to go through the motions."
Mimi looked up at Collins finally understanding, "To dance…however the hell I want." Angel let out a small giggle and turned to Roger.
The rocker's whole face was swollen from crying so hard and so long. His adam's apple bobbed and he said quietly, "Following a pipe dream. And making a life out of a dream. Granted…not an easy one. But you're doing what you love…that thought enough will keep you warm at night."
"When your landlord's turned off the heat." Mark said with a grin. Roger let out a chuckle looking at him.
"Exactly." Roger sighed deeply, "Exactly. I want to go there. This dirty town...it's burning down...it's not what it once was. I want to live in New York and struggle. But survive on music." He looked down at his hands as Angel put her hand on his shoulder rubbing it gently.
"I'll go too. They have a fashion school there. I better get in or I'm gonna go shove a pump up their asses." Angel said everyone letting out some nervous laughter.
"Brown, here I come." Mark said with a sigh looking over at Collins saying, "NYU?" Collins nodded with a smile.
Mimi let her hands fall from Collins chest, "I'll go and dance. I couldn't afford one of those dance schools…I'll just do what I can." Maureen nodded walking to her and taking her hand.
"I'm with you girl. No Juilliard for me…just the bare stage." She glanced back at Joanne, "And you're gonna visit right, Ms. Princeton?" Joanne smiled deeply walking to her.
"How could I stay away…with all the people I love in the city?" Joanne asked looking around at the other kids gathered.
Mark rubbed his arms feeling the cold on his body, "What just happened…with all of us? We barely know each other."
Angel helped Roger stand up and then turned to Mark with a big smile, "I believe in all types of soul mates. Friends…" She said looking through the faces, "as well as lovers." Her eyes stopped on Collins who felt a shiver rush through him, "We were destined." She whispered not taking her eyes from him.
Maureen smiled gently, "I don't know about you guys…but that works for me. I could use some more friends. Real friends." Roger let a small smile betray his face. Mimi strolled over to him.
"I'm sorry, Roger." She said to him. He nodded and mumbled, "Thank you."
Joanne turned back to the funeral parlor and saw everyone leaving, "We missed it."
"I think April would forgive us." Collins replied, "We stumbled along something…important here." Joanne agreed holding onto Maureen's hand, who gave her a quick kiss.
"So…" Roger started as the lights showed the dark circles under his eyes, "What do we do now?"
"Prom's soon." Maureen chirped almost bouncing.
Joanne raised her eyebrow, "That's three month away, honeybear."
Maureen didn't seem to get the concept, "Prom's soon!" She repeated.
"Prom?" Roger asked looking less than excited, "Is that it?" Mimi slipped her fingers around Roger's hand.
"Oh no." She said to him, "I'm pretty sure they're more to it than that." Angel and Collins' eyes stayed on each other, they knew Mimi spoke the truth.
Post: So you handle the weirdness? haha. I hope you did…I kinda like it. And yay mentions of prom. That will be a big deal to be sure. Next Chapter: Angel/Collins date. I realized I never gave them a real date so it's gonna be the next chapter. And you'll learn knew things! Like the origin of Sir Ducksworth and the names of the ninjas. Good stuff.