Chapter Thirteen: Why Can't I Be Somewhere Else Tonight?
Rory
The next five months passed quickly, and the day was finally here. Our graduation day.
That day in January, when I told Remy what happened to me, he was horrified. I breathed a sigh of relief when he told me that he wasn't going to judge me for what I had been doing. He told me that he was my brother, and he always would be. But he wanted to kick Mr. Jackson's ass. I somehow convinced him not to, and he went to class for me so I could graduate with everyone else.
Things had been mostly the same since January. Marco and Jesse were still the perfect little couple out of all of us; they had their own little family. I didn't want to have a family, with a kid like they did, I just wanted Marco.
Andrew was still alone, and he always looked depressed; like he was on the verge of killing himself. But we talked a lot, and he said he was getting happier because of therapy, and that his therapist was helping him realize that he had a lot in life, and having a guy didn't necessarily mean he'd feel better.
Although Remy and I had our moment that night, he'd been having tutoring sessions every night, so I didn't see him that much. But when I did see him, he looked even more depressed than Andrew. He was also starting to get a little pale, and was losing weight, which he blamed on the school. He said it was sucking the life out of him, but as soon as we graduated, he'd be so much better.
I've been trying not to be depressed myself. I feel like I have to be strong for my brothers, and hold us all together. With any luck, Remy's right, and we'll all be better when we go back home.
Nate
Tyler is perfect for me. I don't need anyone else but him. He gives me the pills I need to get through each day, and our sex is better than ever. Of course, I've still been seeing Kelly, but not as much. He doesn't complain, because I have the control. Remy was wrong.
I was on my way to see Tyler because we were going to spend the day together before I the graduation ceremony. He told me he had something special planned, and I couldn't wait to see him.
While I walked down the hall, I saw Kelly coming toward me. I tried to ignore him and walk right by, and when I almost thought I had succeeded, I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me hard.
"I'm busy," I said through gritted teeth. I didn't feel like talking to him at all; I only wanted to see Tyler.
"Actually, you're not," he replied, practically dragging me back towards my room. He opened it and pulled me inside, locking the door and shoving me onto my bed.
"I have somewhere to be," I said, my anger rising. I got off the bed and pushed him away from me.
"Yeah, you have to be right here." Kelly pushed me hard, right back on my bed, and got on top of me, pinning me down. "You'll be a good little boy or I'll have to punish you," he whispered in my ear before kissing my neck.
He started sucking on my neck then, and it wasn't like it always had been. He was being more forceful, and actually hurting me. I shivered in pain and fear, but he mistook my reaction as pleasure.
"I knew you wanted me," he said.
"I don't," I told him, squirming underneath him. All this time I thought I'd actually been stronger than him, but I realized that he was just letting me do what I wanted before.
"That's just too bad then, isn't it?"
He rolled me over and unbuttoned my pants, slowly pulling them off. Instead of going for my boxers next, he got off of me and took his own pants off, to reveal that he wasn't wearing any underwear. This had all been planned.
"Don't you move," he commanded, and I obeyed. I knew that if I tried to leave now, that he would hurt me, and I didn't want that to happen. So I just lay there and watched as he made his way over to my closet and pulled out four of my ties that went with my uniform.
When he came back over to me, he took my shirt and boxers off, and then told me to roll over on my stomach. I knew what was going to happen, and when I hesitated for just one moment, he slapped me. With my cheek stinging, I slowly switched positions so that I was lying on my front, and closed my eyes. I willed myself to fall asleep or pass out, but that didn't happen.
I lay limp as Kelly tied my hands and feet to my bed posts before I felt him climb onto the bed behind me. He just stayed there for a few minutes, and I couldn't turn my head to see what he was doing. I finally felt him start to kiss my back, down to my butt, and then even farther, to the inside of my legs.
Without warning, he slammed himself into me. I stifled a scream into my pillow and bit my lip, feeling the blood trickle into my mouth. I saw starts as he kept going and going, pain searing through me. The pain continued to come, and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't move at all.
At that moment, I knew that Remy was right. I had lost control.
Ellie
I got ready for the boys' ceremony, trying to figure out what to wear. I'd never had a problem getting dressed before, but for some reason, my mind was drawing a blank.
Our graduation was two days ago, and all of the guys had attended to see Theresa and I, so of course, we were going to theirs.
Marco was coming to pick us up in a half hour because we needed him to get us into the courtyard at his school. As I held up a few more outfits, I knew that I wasn't trying to dress nice for Marco.
For the past five months, I haven't been with anyone. I haven't gone on any dates, or even gone out with everyone on the weekends. I knew I would feel weird if I was the only single person (who wasn't gay).
Then I realized who I was getting dressed up for. Thomas.
That night, on the phone, he told me that he cared about me a lot. I just couldn't shake it from my mind, no matter how much I pretended that he never said it. I hadn't even spoken to him since then, and had only seen him a few times when he came to pick Theresa up for a date.
How can I like the boyfriend of my roommate? Theresa and I have even become best friends, something I haven't had with a girl since Ashley left for London. I can't do this to her, not now, not ever.
Besides, I bet Thomas was drunk when he said that. He probably didn't even mean it.
Andrew
I just wanted it to be over, but the ceremony dragged on. We were all waiting for our names to be called, and to be able to get away from this school for good. It hadn't been good to any of us recently, well, except maybe Marco and Jesse.
I pulled my thoughts away from them and focused on graduating. My therapist had been helping me realize that I can be happy being single right now. And as much as I believed her, I still wanted to be somewhere else. I didn't want to be sitting in this hard chair. I wanted to be with him.
Theresa
I went with Ellie and Marco to the school, but as soon as we got there, I went off to find Thomas. He gave me a quick kiss but told me he needed to be up on stage, and ran off.
I knew the ceremony would be long, but it was even longer than I thought it would be. Thomas wasn't even going to be getting his diploma until near the end. I waited patiently for that moment to come, so I could cheer for him like all of his friends.
I saw his parents sitting off to the left side, his mother all teary eyed because her son was finally graduating. His father was just sitting there, with his arms crossed over his chest. While I waited for Thomas' name, I started thinking about someone else.
I knew I should only be thinking of my boyfriend, especially since it was his day, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but think that I wanted to be somewhere else, with someone else.
Suddenly, I heard the name "David Kingston Reimer" and I knew I missed it. I looked up to see Thomas sitting, with his diploma in hand, staring right back at me. He looked upset; he knew I'd missed his name, that I hadn't even cheered for him.
And by the look on his face, it seemed like he knew why.
Jesse
I had a feeling in my stomach that just wouldn't go away. I felt like everything I'd been doing was wrong; that I wasn't a good boyfriend, and I definitely wasn't a good father. I shook those thoughts away and started thinking about how great this could be. I was graduating, and would be able to go to college, and after that, get a career that my daughter would be proud of. I didn't know what I wanted to be, but I knew that I wanted to be someone, if not for myself, then for Gracie.
I looked out over the audience, trying to see anyone I knew. I spotted Ellie and Theresa, each of them with their minds elsewhere. My parents wouldn't be there of course, since they were no longer alive, and my sister didn't show up either. I didn't think she would.
Then my eyes caught sight of my daughter. She was sitting in the lap of her grandmother; Rex's mom. I fought back tears as I thought of Rex, and became ashamed that I hadn't even thought about him in five months.
Rex's mother was stronger now; she came here to see Gracie and to see me, which made me feel even worse. She thought of me when I wasn't thinking of her, or anyone else. A single tear escaped my eye as Mrs. Mora picked up Gracie's arm and had her wave to me.
She was getting so big; she'd be a year old next month. And her father wasn't here to see her grow up. Neither was her mother. And for the first time since I'd had Gracie, I realized that I was to blame for that. If it wasn't for me, both of her parents would still be alive.
Thomas
After my name had been called, there were still about fifteen people to go. I sat and waited for the stupid thing to be over. Theresa hadn't even watched or cheered for me as I went up to get my diploma, and I was pretty sure I knew why.
I was ready to graduate, that much was true, but I wanted it to be over quicker than this. I wanted to just leave, and be somewhere else. Earlier, when I had been looking at everyone there, I quickly skipped my eyes over my parents, smiling at my mother, then looking for other people. I saw Ellie and Theresa sitting together and smiled. But I hadn't been smiling at Theresa. I was smiling at Ellie. And I think they both knew it. So Theresa stopped caring, and didn't look at me the rest of the time.
I couldn't get this girl out of my head. She was off limits. I have a girlfriend, and Ellie's just a friend. When a guy is as much in love with a girl as I am with Theresa, he isn't supposed to be thinking about any other girl.
But I am.
Remy
It was finally over; we were leaving this hell that other people called school. I wouldn't have to see Kelly ever again. When I thought about Kelly, I immediately started looking for Nate. His boyfriend was in the audience, looking angry. Much earlier, I'd overheard Tyler talking to Nate's mother, looking for him. He said they were supposed to hang out earlier that day, and he never showed up.
I saw Nate come late to the ceremony, and he looked horrible. I could tell that it hurt him to sit down, and I suddenly knew what had happened. Kelly had come in a few minutes after Nate, looking very happy. I was in a rage, but had to control my temper throughout the entire ceremony. But now that it was over, and I wasn't a student at the school anymore, I had an idea.
As people were about to leave, I jumped up and ran over to the microphone at the front of the stage.
"Excuse me," I said, tapping the mic. Everyone stopped and looked at me. "I just have something to add to this fine evening." Anyone who was standing up sat back down. My parents looked bewildered; they didn't know I was making a speech. But then again, I didn't know either, not until now.
"I just have to honor two teachers that have always been there," I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. I didn't think anyone noticed though. "Mr. James? Mr. Jackson? Are you out there?" I asked. "Come on up, because you really should get what you deserve; for being the kind of teachers that you are."
I watched as Kelly and Mr. Jackson, that asshole that raped my brother, slowly made their way to the stage. Kelly was grinning, thinking that I was going to fuck him on stage or something, and Mr. Jackson was just staring dumbly.
"Mr. Jackson, I'd like to give you this," I said, since he was the closest one to me. I pulled my arm back and let it fly forward, closed fist and all, punching him square in the jaw. I punched him one more time, causing him to fall backward, right onto his ass. Everyone gasped, and I heard some other teachers calling for security.
Kelly grabbed onto my arms, trying to look like a concerned teacher, but he was really trying to keep himself from being punched. He knew my intentions.
I somehow found a burst of strength and spun around, punching him in the nose. His head snapped back, then bobbed forward. A slow trickle of blood trailed down his face, and suddenly, I heard a bunch of cheers coming from my classmates. It was then that I realized that Nate and I weren't the only ones that he hurt.
I grabbed onto Kelly's shoulders and pushed down, bringing my right knee up, slamming it right into his crotch. He doubled over and shrieked in pain, just as I felt arms grabbing at me. Security had arrived, and a few men were telling me that I'd be in a lot of trouble.
"I doubt that!" I yelled. "Seeing as all I did was kick the asses of a rapist and a molester!"
Everyone was quiet, especially the guys in my class. My smile disappeared and I had tears in my eyes. Nate limped forward and threw his arms around me.
"Thank you," he whispered, just before I was dragged away.
Lindsey
I sat in my dark cell and scribbled away in my notebook. I had nothing else to do, so I'd been writing a diary of my days in the slammer. I chuckled to myself and closed the notebook. I was trying my hardest not to cry.
I'd been here for five months; more than half of my sentence. I already petitioned for parole, and they turned me down. As scared as I had been to come here, it wasn't so bad. No one really bothered me. I was thankful that I wasn't in real prison; because I knew that there, I'd probably be raped every day or something.
But all of the guys were here for lesser charges, serving their year or less than that. We all acted like it was one big party, but all of us had people that we missed.
I knew today I should have been graduating high school, but I was here instead. I was here because I fell in love with the wrong girl.
But there was another girl, one who had been really helping me get through this. She'd visited me every weekend, and I was waiting for her. When the bell sounded (it was more like a buzzing noise) for visitation, I was led to a table and told that someone was there to see me.
Since neither of my parents had come at all, I knew it would be her. She kissed me hard before sitting down across from me and taking my hand.
"I love you Theresa," I whispered to her, leaning forward and pressing my forehead against hers.
"I love you too."
Marco
The graduation ceremony had ended two hours ago. I left Jesse so he could spend some time with his daughter and Rex's mom. I went to the park and sat on the bench that Rory and I had shared a few times that year. The sun had already set, so I closed my eyes and tried to think back to those moments we shared.
So much had happened that year that I couldn't believe it. I fell in love with three guys, but only one stuck in my head. I forced myself to think of Jesse instead, my boyfriend. I still loved him with all of my heart, and decided it was time to go be with him. We'd pack up our bags together, then go on to Andrew's house for the summer.
I walked back to the school and went inside. I made my way up to our room and pushed the door open, ready to have a little fun with Jesse before we started packing. But he wasn't there. At first I thought that maybe he was still with Rex's mom, but then I heard noises coming from near our bed. There was Gracie, sitting in her playpen.
I quietly cursed Jesse. Why did he leave her alone again? He'd been doing that lately, and he told me that he knew she'd be fine.
Luckily for me, I'd gotten much better with her, and she warmed right up to me. I picked her up and hugged her, apologizing that her daddy left her alone again. Then I made my way to Andrew's room, because I figured that Jesse was either hanging out with him, or getting directions to his house in Los Angeles.
I opened Andrew's door and gasped. I almost dropped Gracie, but I didn't.
I'd found Jesse alright. I found him in Andrew's arms; kissing him.
They both looked up and jumped away from each other as Gracie cried out.
Jesse flew towards me, saying that he could explain, but I didn't want to listen. I pushed his daughter at him and he took her. Andrew was saying 'sorry' over and over again.
I ran from the room and kept running until I was out of breath. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and clouding my vision.
Now that I finally knew the truth, I couldn't take it. I let myself fall to the ground and just sat there crying. My heart felt like it had been broken into little pieces, and my stomach was flopping around. I tried not to be sick on the floor and just pulled my knees up to my chest.
A/N: There you have it. I'm actually happy that it's only a day late because I thought I wouldn't get it done. But I wrote the whole thing just now…it took three and a half hours (I took a few breaks in between POVs). I haven't decided how many chapters there will be…somewhere between 20 and 30 I suppose. I don't have much more to write, but I always end up getting ideas in the middle of chapters, and prolonging other things that I had in mind. Everyone's POV was in this chapter; I wanted to make sure of it. And for the rest of the story, they'll all be at Andrew's (with some exceptions, as you'll find out).