Insanity rise: Hiya! So far I'm really enjoying writing this story; it's a good break from my usual stuff! Anyway, I'd like to apologize for any mistakes I have made in my writing and making Kabuto seem like a child. I will not be changing that because I think it's hilarious, can't all evil geniuses have a soft side too? Anyway, that biscuit thing is pretty much my running gag so be prepared to hear a lot more of it! If you don't like the story so far I will tell you chapter 4 is by far the chapter I think is funniest! Be patient! Well, tell me what you think, and remember I only think the Orochimaru and Kabuto pairing and the Zaku and Dosu pairing is funny, I do NOT take them seriously!

Chapter 3

How to find a flashlight

"So," Kabuto asked, sitting in the kitchen with Zaku, "what's the plan?"

"I don't know," Zaku admitted, completely out of any ideas.

"Oh," Kabuto exclaimed, "I know what we can do, I saw this on a sitcom once, you look around and try to find an idea from your surroundings!"

"That sounds crazy," Zaku glared at him but almost immediately lost his angry tone, "let's do it!"

Kabuto nodded and began looking around, a strange silence settling over the two ninja. He stared at the oven, and got an idea. A crazy idea that he was sure would make his day much brighter, something so insane that he wasn't even sure he could pull it off!

"LET'S MAKE BISCUITS!" Kabuto cheered, giving Zaku a hopeful glance. Zaku scowled his face red with anger.

"CAN'T YOU THINK OF ANYTHING BESIDES BISCUITS!" Zaku screamed, his voice filled with annoyed rage.

"No," Kabuto squeaked.

"I thought so," Zaku shook his head, "got any better ideas?"

"Let's get naked!" Kabuto cheered, almost like he actual liked the idea, and Zaku shook his head.

"No," he announced, "let's save that for when we're selling real estate."

"Oh," Kabuto sighed, "when will we sell real estate?"

"As soon as I figure out what real estate is," Zaku shrugged.

"Okay," Kabuto continued to do as his sitcom had told him.

"We could hit her with a spatula," Kabuto cringed, "that really hurts."

"You would know," Zaku chuckled.

Kabuto glanced about, beginning to feel bored with this idea. He had no idea how looking around a room could help him get more biscuits. That was all he wanted anyway, he had no wish to participate in this crazy scheme. It didn't really concern him whether Zaku won Dosu or Kin married him. He didn't exactly enjoy being a part of this hopeless love triangle.

"We could tie her up and hit her with a spatula," Zaku beamed, enjoying the idea of binding the girl and throwing her somewhere where no one would find her.

"Yeah," Kabuto agreed, "then we could eat biscuits!"

"But where would we hide her," Zaku stared up at the ceiling; "somewhere no one would ever go to, but where?"

"You could throw her in a lake," Kabuto announced, "or a box, or a prison cell, or the refrigerator, or the front lawn, or my room, or your room, or the bathroom, or Orochimaru's closet, or-"

"Wait what was that last one?"

"The bathroom," Kabuto shrugged.

"After that!"

"A biscuit," Kabuto was clearly confused, as though he'd completely forgotten what he'd just said.

"No YOU MORON," Zaku growled, impatient with Kabuto's clueless antics.

"Hiya Kabuto," Orochimaru stepped into the room, slapping Kabuto upside the head.

"Hi Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto said shakily, straightening his glasses.

"What are you doing boys," Orochimaru looked them over, "you look like you've got a dirty little secret."

"No it's not that at all," Zaku grinned nervously, not wanting Orochimaru to stop him from "getting rid" of rid.

"If you two are in love then I seriously don't want to hear about it," Orochimaru growled. Kabuto gave him a petrified look.

"No it's not that at all it's just-"

"Kabuto just means that we were just leaving," Zaku laughed, grabbing Kabuto and hurrying out of the kitchen. Orochimaru stared at them as they left, a clueless look on his face.

"Kids," he shook his head, then went searching for a biscuit…

Meanwhile, Kabuto and Zaku were walking down the hallway. Zaku looked around to make sure no one was listening, then turned to Kabuto with a mischievous grin.

"Oh now I remember," Kabuto beamed, "something about Orochimaru's closet I think."

"Why there," Zaku gave him a confused look.

"Orochimaru-sama never cleans his closet; it would be years before any found her!"

"Great," Zaku laughed evilly, "so now all we need is some, a spatula, and a flashlight."

"A flashlight," Kabuto glanced at the chuckling boy, confused.

"Of course," Zaku smirked, "we'll need a flashlight to use when we're laughing evilly."

"Oh," Kabuto nodded excitedly, "I can that see…hahahahahehehahaha…hehehaha…ha."

"I said laugh evilly not giggle like a little girl," Zaku smacked Kabuto upside the head.

"Why do people keep doing that," Kabuto sighed, "it's like I ever say anything stupid or anything."

"Yeah," Zaku sneered, "well anyway, we should split up and get the stuff."

"I can find a flashlight," Kabuto announced, "Orochimaru-sama always keeps them in the supply closet!"

"Do you even know where the supply closet is," Zaku gave him an annoyed glare, pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"Not a clue."

"That's what I thought."

"Do you."

"Nope."

"Orochimaru doesn't have a supply closet does he."

"Nope."

"You do know where to get a flashlight right."

"Nope."

"I rhymed flashlight and right, I ROCK OUT LOUD," Kabuto cheered. Zaku looked like he might just drop down dead.

"Fine whatever," Zaku grumbled, "I'll find some rope and you find a flashlight, we'll meet back here in an hour and get Kin."

"Ok," Kabuto grinned and prepared to find a flashlight, but suddenly stopped.

"Zaku."

"Yes," Zaku turned around, wondering what Kabuto could possibly want now.

"When do I get my biscuit…"

There was no answer besides complete silence.

"When," Kabuto whined. Zaku didn't even answer, he just ran down the hallway, wanting with all his heart to get away from the obsessed ninja. Kabuto shook his head, a new idea reaching his mind.

"I know," he grinned stupidly, "I'll go and make some biscuits!" He cheered at his genius, giving himself a hug even though it was technically not a even close to a hug and ran off to the kitchen where he knew his biscuits were waiting…