Title: The Lies One Tells to Make it Through the Day
Rating: R
Author: Azure K Mello
Part: (4/?)
Disclaimer: Joss, not me. Also premises stolen from Jacob M. Bosch, story found here: who stole it from Saone. I asked for permission from Jacob. Thank you.
Summery: Spike cast a spell on Angel to distract him while he and Dru have some fun in Sunnyhell. The spell has made Angel fall head over heels for Xander. The problem is that to break the spell Xander must sleep with Angel. If the spell is not broken it will cause Angel to rape him.
Pairing: Angel/Xander SLASH
Spoilers/setting: High school/ midseason Two because Angel and Buffy have never made the beast up to this point.
Warning: mega angst. Buffy bashing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Angel moaned into the boy's mouth. He hadn't been with anyone since he had regained his soul. Darla would have had him even though he was sullied but she had tested him in the Boxer Rebellion: eat this baby or get the hell out of my bed. He had left, unable to kill the infant. That had been the day Spike had killed his first slayer, the pride he felt had made him feel ill. Was evil to rejoice to his childe's success? Spike, his feelings for the boy were so conflicted. If what Xander said was true than Angel had his childe to thank for getting him his lover. "I want you so badly," he panted as he ran his fingers over Xander's stomach beneath his shirt, "I need you, Xan."
"I love you," whispered Xander as he arched into the vampire's hands as the taller man lead him towards his bedroom, "I love you so much."
"I love you," murmured Angel, "I want you inside of me." The boy stilled in his arms and Angel could see the change in his eyes. "You're worrying, I thought we decided you wouldn't worry."
"I'm just scared. Is that allowed? I'm scared. There's a large difference between putting it out of mind and doing something truly stupid. Please, Angel, understand why I'm wigged."
"Shhhh," hushed Angel, "it's ok, of course you're allowed to be frightened, I'm scared too. I don't want to hurt you in the morning."
"I don't give a good *damn* about being hurt, only about you," he said close to tears.
"It's gonna be alright," Angel assured the boy as he placed him on the bed, "Do you want this?" Xander nodded as a tear fell down his face.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Where are you going?" asked Angel as Xander tried to leave the tiny bed.
Looking down at the floor Xander said, "You will probably wanna wake up alone tomorrow. So I'm gonna go back to Will's." Angel grabbed his hips and turned the boy over to face him.
The pain in those eyes made Angel want to kill everyone who ever told this boy that he wasn't good enough. "I haven't shared my bed in over a hundred years. So just for tonight will you stay? Would you be mine?"
"Only and always." Replied Xander though the tears still streamed down his face. Angel pulled him close and rocked him gently as he traced patterns over the slight body in his arms. "What is the morning going to bring?"
"If you like," said Angel softly, "if this is all a spell like you keep saying, if Spike is lying, we can say that you were affected by it too. That none of this was real."
"The only person who matters is you. So it's not gonna work is it?" asked Xander sounding dejected.
"I love you."
"Why?" asked Xander expecting the man not to answer: having no reason to love him but for the spell. "Why do you.?"
"Why?" asked Angel sounding confused. Xander knew he had stumped the man but then Angel spoke again sounding angry, "Do you really think so little of yourself? You're so brave, and strong, and resourceful, you're honest and loyal and you take care of your friends even though none of them treat you right," he saw the look on Xander's face and laughed dryly. "Do you think I'm blind to the way they treat you? And yes, you can be a total self-righteous prig, but do it out of the goodness of your heart. You're a good man, Xander, and you make me laugh." Xander gave him another disbelieving look, "Well not out loud, but I do laugh. It's just a silent mirth, I can't chuckle it ruins my reputation for being dark and brooding."
"Wow," said Xander sounding stunned and happy and then he sounded broken as he said, "Spike's spell is really quite amazing it even gave a reason for the illusion."
"Xander, shut up before I make you shut up. Don't kick yourself anymore. And stop talking about this stupid spell, it makes me feel ill, I don't want to think that everything we have is fake."
"It's not all fake, only half," said Xander bitterly as he cuddled into Angel's side. "I love you." He said the words one last time, not knowing if he would be able to say them ever again. "I love you so much, Angel," he repeated before drifting into a fitful sleep.
Angel lay awake for a while watching the boy in his arms. He feared what dawn would bring.
Rating: R
Author: Azure K Mello
Part: (4/?)
Disclaimer: Joss, not me. Also premises stolen from Jacob M. Bosch, story found here: who stole it from Saone. I asked for permission from Jacob. Thank you.
Summery: Spike cast a spell on Angel to distract him while he and Dru have some fun in Sunnyhell. The spell has made Angel fall head over heels for Xander. The problem is that to break the spell Xander must sleep with Angel. If the spell is not broken it will cause Angel to rape him.
Pairing: Angel/Xander SLASH
Spoilers/setting: High school/ midseason Two because Angel and Buffy have never made the beast up to this point.
Warning: mega angst. Buffy bashing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Angel moaned into the boy's mouth. He hadn't been with anyone since he had regained his soul. Darla would have had him even though he was sullied but she had tested him in the Boxer Rebellion: eat this baby or get the hell out of my bed. He had left, unable to kill the infant. That had been the day Spike had killed his first slayer, the pride he felt had made him feel ill. Was evil to rejoice to his childe's success? Spike, his feelings for the boy were so conflicted. If what Xander said was true than Angel had his childe to thank for getting him his lover. "I want you so badly," he panted as he ran his fingers over Xander's stomach beneath his shirt, "I need you, Xan."
"I love you," whispered Xander as he arched into the vampire's hands as the taller man lead him towards his bedroom, "I love you so much."
"I love you," murmured Angel, "I want you inside of me." The boy stilled in his arms and Angel could see the change in his eyes. "You're worrying, I thought we decided you wouldn't worry."
"I'm just scared. Is that allowed? I'm scared. There's a large difference between putting it out of mind and doing something truly stupid. Please, Angel, understand why I'm wigged."
"Shhhh," hushed Angel, "it's ok, of course you're allowed to be frightened, I'm scared too. I don't want to hurt you in the morning."
"I don't give a good *damn* about being hurt, only about you," he said close to tears.
"It's gonna be alright," Angel assured the boy as he placed him on the bed, "Do you want this?" Xander nodded as a tear fell down his face.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Where are you going?" asked Angel as Xander tried to leave the tiny bed.
Looking down at the floor Xander said, "You will probably wanna wake up alone tomorrow. So I'm gonna go back to Will's." Angel grabbed his hips and turned the boy over to face him.
The pain in those eyes made Angel want to kill everyone who ever told this boy that he wasn't good enough. "I haven't shared my bed in over a hundred years. So just for tonight will you stay? Would you be mine?"
"Only and always." Replied Xander though the tears still streamed down his face. Angel pulled him close and rocked him gently as he traced patterns over the slight body in his arms. "What is the morning going to bring?"
"If you like," said Angel softly, "if this is all a spell like you keep saying, if Spike is lying, we can say that you were affected by it too. That none of this was real."
"The only person who matters is you. So it's not gonna work is it?" asked Xander sounding dejected.
"I love you."
"Why?" asked Xander expecting the man not to answer: having no reason to love him but for the spell. "Why do you.?"
"Why?" asked Angel sounding confused. Xander knew he had stumped the man but then Angel spoke again sounding angry, "Do you really think so little of yourself? You're so brave, and strong, and resourceful, you're honest and loyal and you take care of your friends even though none of them treat you right," he saw the look on Xander's face and laughed dryly. "Do you think I'm blind to the way they treat you? And yes, you can be a total self-righteous prig, but do it out of the goodness of your heart. You're a good man, Xander, and you make me laugh." Xander gave him another disbelieving look, "Well not out loud, but I do laugh. It's just a silent mirth, I can't chuckle it ruins my reputation for being dark and brooding."
"Wow," said Xander sounding stunned and happy and then he sounded broken as he said, "Spike's spell is really quite amazing it even gave a reason for the illusion."
"Xander, shut up before I make you shut up. Don't kick yourself anymore. And stop talking about this stupid spell, it makes me feel ill, I don't want to think that everything we have is fake."
"It's not all fake, only half," said Xander bitterly as he cuddled into Angel's side. "I love you." He said the words one last time, not knowing if he would be able to say them ever again. "I love you so much, Angel," he repeated before drifting into a fitful sleep.
Angel lay awake for a while watching the boy in his arms. He feared what dawn would bring.