Title: The Lies One Tells to Make it Through the Day
Rating: R
Author: Azure K Mello
Part: (5/?)
Disclaimer: Joss, not me. Also premises stolen from Jacob M. Bosch, story found here: who stole it from Saone. I asked for permission from Jacob. Thank you.
Summery: Spike cast a spell on Angel to distract him while he and Dru have some fun in Sunnyhell. The spell has made Angel fall head over heels for Xander. The problem is that to break the spell Xander must sleep with Angel. If the spell is not broken it will cause Angel to rape him.
Pairing: Angel/Xander SLASH
Spoilers/setting: High school/ midseason Two because Angel and Buffy have never made the beast up to this point.
Warning: mega angst. Buffy bashing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Are you ok?" were the first words as he woke up laying atop Angel.
"I'm fine." Said Angel softly his eyes were dark and Xander didn't like the angry vibes coming off the vampire.
"I should go."
"You're not going anywhere." Was the cold reply.
Xander sighed heavily. "Ok three free shots, I won't even reply."
"Xan-"
"Here, I'll start them for you," said the boy sounding angry but feeling only hurt, "Xander Harris is a loser because:"
Appalled Angel said softly, "I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't belittle you because you love me."
"Christ, don't pity me." Said Xander trying to worm his way out of Angel's clasp. As he realized he was naked he blushed deeply.
"Xander," he said in a pacifying tone but the boy cut him off.
"Fuck off, Deadboy."
"Last night you promised to be mine forever."
"For Christ's sakes of all the things that were said last night that's what you focus on? I lied. You think I meant any of it? None of this meant anything to me. I said it all to get you into bed. I needed to break the spell."
"Which explains why you cried in my arms." Angel's eyes were even darker with emotion.
Xander wanted to cry and run and kick Angel's ass. Instead he did what came naturally and opened his big mouth with a dry, antagonistic comment. "I was ashamed."
"Don't lie, Xander, it doesn't become you," said the vampire in a monotone voice.
"What do you want from me, Angel? Didn't you say it was the spell? That everything I felt was a side effect?"
"I love you, Xander."
"What? . . . oh fuck you!" he screamed. "Go die. . . again!" He scrabbled to get up but Angel held him close.
"Spike wasn't lying. . . for once. It's really pathetic that it took a spell to make the truth come into the light. But now. . . I can't pretend anymore. I won't."
"But then why?" He let his words trial off not wanting to know the answer.
"Did I not say? I thought you hated me. And anyway, my duty was to help Buffy. What better was to infiltrate a teenage girl's life than to be her boyfriend? I like her, she's a nice girl. . . sometimes. I never loved her, but I tried. Do you really think we wouldn't have slept together in two years if everything were as it should be?"
"Well I figured that she wasn't ready. . . or something." Angel just smiled at the boy. "I guess I never though of that."
"It wouldn't have been fair to her, I only ever loved you. I figured it wouldn't matter: she's a slayer by right she should have been dead by now. And even if she lived for ten years (eternity for a slayer), I'm immortal. What is ten years to me at 243 some years of age? So I worked my way into her life. . . And then I met you and I knew I was fucked."
"Or rather that you weren't," said Xander with a smirk. Angel shook his head ruefully and pulled the boy close for a chaste kiss. "Are you sure the spell is broken?"
"Yeah."
"And you're not just fucking with my mind?"
"I love you."
"That. . . is so cool!" Angel just laughed and ran his hands over the boy. As if pulling back into himself Xander said nothing when Angel's fingers wavered over scars, cut, bruises, and burns.
The change in heat under his hands alerted the vampire to the boy's embracement. "You are so stunning," he said falling into large russet eyes, "I want to keep you here forever."
Xander smiled and then said sadly, "I'm supposed to be meeting Buffy and Wills for breakfast at the Espresso Pump."
Whining Angel said, "But you're mine."
"Yeah," said Xander softly, "what are you gonna do about Buff? Do you want me to talk to her?"
"No, you've had to deal with her enough. . . I really called her Muffy didn't I?" He couldn't help but smirk. He bit gently at Xander's collarbone. The boy arched into his touch. "When did you say you had to meet them?"
"In three minutes." Xander sighed heavily as he stood, ". . . I need pants."
************************************************************************
Sliding into the booth he ordered a cup of coffee. The girl didn't even say hello before jumping into her onslaught, "Did you fix him yet?"
"The spell has been broken." He said softly.
"Good, I'm gonna go see him." She said stepping out of the booth.
"You're welcome." He said softly with bitter anger. It was sad that he had never realized how little Buffy cared for him. She hadn't given a damn about how any of this would affect him.
"You want me to thank you?" she said coldly, "I can't believe you want me to thank you for fucking the love of my life!"
"You're sixteen, Buffy, you have no idea where your life will go," he said sounding tired and older than his seventeen years. "You practically ordered me to sleep with him! I went out on a limb for you. No matter the outcome I think you should be saying, 'thank you, Xander, for trying to bring him back to me.' Because I tried, I tried for you and for him. I was so scared. And I thought I was going to get totally screwed over. As it turns out I didn't, but I didn't know that when I started."
"What are you talking about?" she asked looking bemused and haughty.
"Go talk to you, he wants to see you," he said looking down at the table. The slayer left in a flurry of suede. The coffee arrived and Xander drank deeply enjoying the bitter hot liquid.
"He loves you, doesn't he?" asked Willow softly trying not to upset her friend.
"Yeah."
"So what are you gonna do about it?"
"Bask," he said with a dry laugh.
"Wait. . . what?"
"I love him so much."
"Wait. . . what?"
"I fucking adore him, I waited so long. . . and now he tells me he always loved me."
"Wait. . . what? Are you gay?"
The boy couldn't help but roar with laughter, tears feel down his face. "God, Willow, I'm so happy. But Buffy's gonna be pissed."
"Fuck Buffy!"
"Willow! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"Look, All I'm saying: She thinks that she's the chosen one." Xander raised an eyebrow, "Well, yeah ok, but she thinks everyone is here simply to be at her beckoned call. She thinks the world owes her a hott boyfriend because she stopped it from ending a few times. She doesn't own Angel. You deserve to be happy. . . just don't rub it in 'cause she'll be a real B. I. T. C. H."
"A bitca? I know. . . she's been different ever since she died. I'm just worried how she'll take this. I don't *want* to hurt her. She is my friend, even if she is mean."
Rating: R
Author: Azure K Mello
Part: (5/?)
Disclaimer: Joss, not me. Also premises stolen from Jacob M. Bosch, story found here: who stole it from Saone. I asked for permission from Jacob. Thank you.
Summery: Spike cast a spell on Angel to distract him while he and Dru have some fun in Sunnyhell. The spell has made Angel fall head over heels for Xander. The problem is that to break the spell Xander must sleep with Angel. If the spell is not broken it will cause Angel to rape him.
Pairing: Angel/Xander SLASH
Spoilers/setting: High school/ midseason Two because Angel and Buffy have never made the beast up to this point.
Warning: mega angst. Buffy bashing.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Are you ok?" were the first words as he woke up laying atop Angel.
"I'm fine." Said Angel softly his eyes were dark and Xander didn't like the angry vibes coming off the vampire.
"I should go."
"You're not going anywhere." Was the cold reply.
Xander sighed heavily. "Ok three free shots, I won't even reply."
"Xan-"
"Here, I'll start them for you," said the boy sounding angry but feeling only hurt, "Xander Harris is a loser because:"
Appalled Angel said softly, "I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't belittle you because you love me."
"Christ, don't pity me." Said Xander trying to worm his way out of Angel's clasp. As he realized he was naked he blushed deeply.
"Xander," he said in a pacifying tone but the boy cut him off.
"Fuck off, Deadboy."
"Last night you promised to be mine forever."
"For Christ's sakes of all the things that were said last night that's what you focus on? I lied. You think I meant any of it? None of this meant anything to me. I said it all to get you into bed. I needed to break the spell."
"Which explains why you cried in my arms." Angel's eyes were even darker with emotion.
Xander wanted to cry and run and kick Angel's ass. Instead he did what came naturally and opened his big mouth with a dry, antagonistic comment. "I was ashamed."
"Don't lie, Xander, it doesn't become you," said the vampire in a monotone voice.
"What do you want from me, Angel? Didn't you say it was the spell? That everything I felt was a side effect?"
"I love you, Xander."
"What? . . . oh fuck you!" he screamed. "Go die. . . again!" He scrabbled to get up but Angel held him close.
"Spike wasn't lying. . . for once. It's really pathetic that it took a spell to make the truth come into the light. But now. . . I can't pretend anymore. I won't."
"But then why?" He let his words trial off not wanting to know the answer.
"Did I not say? I thought you hated me. And anyway, my duty was to help Buffy. What better was to infiltrate a teenage girl's life than to be her boyfriend? I like her, she's a nice girl. . . sometimes. I never loved her, but I tried. Do you really think we wouldn't have slept together in two years if everything were as it should be?"
"Well I figured that she wasn't ready. . . or something." Angel just smiled at the boy. "I guess I never though of that."
"It wouldn't have been fair to her, I only ever loved you. I figured it wouldn't matter: she's a slayer by right she should have been dead by now. And even if she lived for ten years (eternity for a slayer), I'm immortal. What is ten years to me at 243 some years of age? So I worked my way into her life. . . And then I met you and I knew I was fucked."
"Or rather that you weren't," said Xander with a smirk. Angel shook his head ruefully and pulled the boy close for a chaste kiss. "Are you sure the spell is broken?"
"Yeah."
"And you're not just fucking with my mind?"
"I love you."
"That. . . is so cool!" Angel just laughed and ran his hands over the boy. As if pulling back into himself Xander said nothing when Angel's fingers wavered over scars, cut, bruises, and burns.
The change in heat under his hands alerted the vampire to the boy's embracement. "You are so stunning," he said falling into large russet eyes, "I want to keep you here forever."
Xander smiled and then said sadly, "I'm supposed to be meeting Buffy and Wills for breakfast at the Espresso Pump."
Whining Angel said, "But you're mine."
"Yeah," said Xander softly, "what are you gonna do about Buff? Do you want me to talk to her?"
"No, you've had to deal with her enough. . . I really called her Muffy didn't I?" He couldn't help but smirk. He bit gently at Xander's collarbone. The boy arched into his touch. "When did you say you had to meet them?"
"In three minutes." Xander sighed heavily as he stood, ". . . I need pants."
************************************************************************
Sliding into the booth he ordered a cup of coffee. The girl didn't even say hello before jumping into her onslaught, "Did you fix him yet?"
"The spell has been broken." He said softly.
"Good, I'm gonna go see him." She said stepping out of the booth.
"You're welcome." He said softly with bitter anger. It was sad that he had never realized how little Buffy cared for him. She hadn't given a damn about how any of this would affect him.
"You want me to thank you?" she said coldly, "I can't believe you want me to thank you for fucking the love of my life!"
"You're sixteen, Buffy, you have no idea where your life will go," he said sounding tired and older than his seventeen years. "You practically ordered me to sleep with him! I went out on a limb for you. No matter the outcome I think you should be saying, 'thank you, Xander, for trying to bring him back to me.' Because I tried, I tried for you and for him. I was so scared. And I thought I was going to get totally screwed over. As it turns out I didn't, but I didn't know that when I started."
"What are you talking about?" she asked looking bemused and haughty.
"Go talk to you, he wants to see you," he said looking down at the table. The slayer left in a flurry of suede. The coffee arrived and Xander drank deeply enjoying the bitter hot liquid.
"He loves you, doesn't he?" asked Willow softly trying not to upset her friend.
"Yeah."
"So what are you gonna do about it?"
"Bask," he said with a dry laugh.
"Wait. . . what?"
"I love him so much."
"Wait. . . what?"
"I fucking adore him, I waited so long. . . and now he tells me he always loved me."
"Wait. . . what? Are you gay?"
The boy couldn't help but roar with laughter, tears feel down his face. "God, Willow, I'm so happy. But Buffy's gonna be pissed."
"Fuck Buffy!"
"Willow! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"Look, All I'm saying: She thinks that she's the chosen one." Xander raised an eyebrow, "Well, yeah ok, but she thinks everyone is here simply to be at her beckoned call. She thinks the world owes her a hott boyfriend because she stopped it from ending a few times. She doesn't own Angel. You deserve to be happy. . . just don't rub it in 'cause she'll be a real B. I. T. C. H."
"A bitca? I know. . . she's been different ever since she died. I'm just worried how she'll take this. I don't *want* to hurt her. She is my friend, even if she is mean."