Fulton sat at the back of the bus sulking. He was in a generally crabby mood and didn't really want to sit with anyone. The day hadn't started that well and it had got progressively worse. He and Terri were grounded (hockey games aside). A grounding at Eden Hall was quite comprehensive. He was given a pink photocopy of his timetable, every teacher had to initial it to prove he had been at class, he had to get it signed at lunch – where he wasn't allowed to sit with the Ducks, but had to sit alone on a table to the side of the long teacher's table, Terri was on another table on the other side of them – then at the end of the day he had to be checked into his dorm, which meant the 9pm curfew had to be obeyed to the letter. This had annoyed Luis no end, because it meant that he too had to be present at the check-in, even though he hadn't done anything wrong. They had both been given demerits for having a messy room – another thing that Luis wasn't going to forgive him for any time soon.
The gossip had done the rounds at an amazing speed. In the time it took between leaving Terri's dorm, being yelled at by Dean Buckley and getting back to his own room, the news had already reached Luis, who had heard that Fulton and Terri had been caught doing the naked and nasty. Trying to explain to Luis had only made the problem worse. On reflection, the words, "No, see, her hips were hurting so I had to pick her up," weren't really the most impressive or intelligent line of defence.
Luis had actually been suitably impressed with Fulton, given that Fulton had only known Terri less than a week; as a couple, Fulton and Terri had moved with a lot of speed. If the gossip was true. And who cared if it wasn't?
That was, he was impressed until he heard about the grounding and realised that the punishment was going to rebound on him. So now he was furious with Fulton and was refusing to have anything to do with him. Luis had, foolishly, chosen to sit with Guy, Connie was sitting with Ken. Fulton wasn't sure whether this was a choice they had made because they had broken up again, or was it because they were together again, and they were just trying to prove that they weren't all over each other. Either way, Luis was getting his ear chewed off by Guy, so he wouldn't be in a particularly friendly mood this evening – that's if Luis would even talk to him. Fulton suspected that as soon as he was un-grounded, Luis would be pleasant again. So already his grounding was wearing thin.
Then, less than ten minutes ago, Orion had taken him to a side and shouted at him for indulging his hormones and making life difficult. Apparently Orion had spent most of Sunday in the Dean's office, trying to convince Dean Buckley that Fulton shouldn't be benched as punishment. Luckily he had succeeded, but all the same, it wasn't how he had wanted to spend his weekend. Then, to make matters worse, Orion had said (in a very embarrassed tone of voice) that his door was always open, and if Fulton wanted to talk about anything he was available. And the very worst was when Orion had lowered his voice to an almost-whisper and muttered that Fulton should be "careful" and added something about "responsibilities". It took a few seconds of confusion before he figured out that Orion was telling him to use contraception, then he felt thoroughly humiliated. It almost made Fulton want to say, "I kissed a guy a few days ago, how do you feel about that?" just to convey his lack of interest in doing anything remotely like that with Terri.
And now, as he sat, he was beginning to wonder why he didn't want to do things like that with Terri. She was nice, she was pretty, her hair was strange but it smelt pleasantly of coconuts, and they got on well. Why didn't he want to do things like that with her? Why had he never even considered making out with her until now? If Luis' standards were anything to go by, he really should want to. But he didn't. There was something comforting about Terri, something friendly, and not really particularly girlish about her. He didn't really see her as someone he could date, he saw her only as a friend, and his brain almost went into meltdown as he tried to push himself into seeing her as something more. He liked her, that was true, but that's all it was. He was fond of her, and he thought that one day he might possibly love her, but again, only as a friend.
"Conway?"
Fulton's head automatically jerked up on hearing Coach Orion say Charlie's name, a hint of surprise in his voice. Fulton heard Charlie say that he wanted to come back, his tone was sincere and apologetic, then Charlie boarded the bus. There were grins and high-fives all round, then finally Charlie looked to the back of the bus and met Fulton's eyes. Sit with me, Fulton said mentally, sit with me and we can be friends again. I'm sorry I knocked you down, then skated off. I'm sorry for that kiss, whatever it meant, I'm sorry I walked away when I promised I wouldn't. Sit with me, be my friend.
Charlie held his gaze for a few seconds, his expression blandly pleasant. He took another step.
Then he sat down next to Russ.
Fulton sighed. Who needs you anyway, Conway, he thought, trying to ignore the crushing disappointment of Charlie's simple action of sitting with someone else. I don't. I don't need you, I don't need to be your best friend, I don't need your stupid kisses that ruin our friendship, I don't need your sulks and moods. What I need is a girlfriend. And I'm going to get one.
"I hope you don't think this means I will spend more time with you." Shona spoke in a low voice and smiled so bright anyone watching from a distance—and Anna was willing to bet many people were watching, because everyone always watched whatever Shona did—would think she greeted her younger sister with more kindness than was deserved.
Anna, unwilling to keep up the charade, shrugged.
"I didn't exactly ask for this assignment," she said, but there was no heat behind her words. She didn't mind confrontation on a normal basis; she usually craved it, especially when it came to Shona, because too often it was the only way to release her emotions without appearing weak.
She was just too tired to fight anymore, too sick of school, too lonely ever since Terri had got herself a boyfriend.
Shona pulled out a chair, carelessly dropped her bag on the table, knocking over Anna's neat stack of books, and slid into her seat. She moved with such grace and never looked uncomfortable.
Anna knew some of it was probably a mask, because the last time she'd thought Shona was perfect, she'd been five and Shona, six and tired of a younger sister who adored her – whose first damn word had been Shona's name – had knocked her into the pool while wearing her brand new party dress.
When their mother found her, she'd been furious, not with Shona, who proclaimed innocence and was, in fact, trying to pull Anna out when they were discovered, but with Anna for ruining her beautiful and highly expensive new clothes.
Shona pulled a compact from her purse, flipped it open, and checked her makeup. She glanced at it for the briefest of moments and Anna made a face. Shona only did things like that because it was expected of a head cheerleader. At home, she always knew she looked perfect and didn't care to pretend.
"I've already spoken to Madmoiselle Tode," Shona said, loud enough for anyone to overhear if they cared to listen. "I will be focusing on the fashion trends of France. She wants to see samples of my wardrobe. I may have to send off for the newest styles, though. It always takes so long for them to cross the Atlantic."
Anna refrained from rolling her eyes, but only because she didn't want to join in a verbal battle. Of course Tode had given in to Shona's request; Tode was one of the two French teachers overseeing their advanced project and one of the cheerleading coaches. Like nearly every other teacher at all the schools they'd attended, Tode adored Shona.
Tode also had the most atrocious French accent Anna had ever heard, and a weak grasp on the slang form of a language she taught. Maybe she wouldn't have sided with Shona as often if Anna hadn't shown her up so badly at the beginning of the year, but Anna had been grumpy because she had hardly any classes with Terri and she was angry at being stuck in beginning French even though she was fluent.
She couldn't help showing off a little, but unlike Shona, she could never make it work.
"That leaves economics, language, politics, and history for me," Anna said. She didn't even look up, but continued to restack the books she'd thought might help their project.
Shona waited and Anna knew she was being watched, but she couldn't drag any sort of energy together in order to actually push the attack, as she should have done.
When Shona leaned forward and placed one hand on Anna's arm, Anna had to look at her. The Valentino family didn't touch except for show when they were in public or to drive home a particular point. She doubted this was the first and feared the second; she shouldn't have met with Shona while in such a mood, but Tode had been adamant they begin their project sooner rather than later.
"Whatever is wrong with you, dear sister?" Shona asked. She sounded sincere, but Anna recognized the cold glint in her eyes. "You've hardly said a word to me when normally you absolutely gush."
A lie, but believable to anyone who didn't know Anna, which was almost everyone in the school.
Anna pasted on a fake smile. "I'm fine, Shona," she said and pulled her arm away. "Absolutely wonderful."
"Oh Angela, you don't have to be brave with me, you know I'm always here to listen." Another syrup-sweet smile. "Is something wrong with your little friend?"
Anna snorted, unladylike and sure to annoy Shona. "Terri is fine. Terri and her stupid little boyfriend and her whole damn world, just fine." Immediately, she regretted her words. Shona's grin became honest and dangerous. It made Anna go cold.
"Of course, just fine," Shona said. "Except for that pesky grounding of hers. It's such a shame she's already fallen so far, but you know how it is to get caught up in sport fever. Theresa must have hidden talents, to snare a hockey player, even one on such an unpopular team. Of course, I should know, shouldn't I? It was very disturbing to see such a sweet girl so… exposed." She patted Anna's arm again, gathered her things, and swept away, leaving Anna with three-quarters of a project to begin and a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Adam lay flat on his bed, exhausted after another gruelling practice with Coach Wilson, his hair was still wet from the shower. Ordinarily he would have put a towel down to stop his pillow getting damp, but he was too tired to bother. Emotionally as well as physically. He was sick of being piggy in the middle. The Ducks, despite the informal game on Saturday, had not spoken to him since, not even Fulton, who he thought might have tried to speak to him again. Adam had not heard the rumours about Fulton and Terri, and was unaware of Fulton's grounding.
Varsity had taken Adam's dorm move exceptionally personally. They weren't stupid enough to do anything to him that couldn't be explained. On the ice it was different. There were so many legal ways to flatten someone you didn't like – especially if that person was pretty good at stealing the puck. Then there were plenty of times when Wilson was looking the other way and the not-so-legal checks came into play.
He felt sore all over, as if the practice had been harder than usual, but there was no real specific pain like there would be from a beating. Well, except for his cheekbone, and he genuinely believed that injury had been an accident. Coach Wilson had called for everyone to take a knee and Adam had taken his helmet off before making a move towards Wilson. Cole had playfully pushed Labine, who hadn't been expecting it, Labine had shot forwards, clutching Adam for balance and Adam had fallen head first toward the ice. Unluckily his hockey stick had broken his fall. His fingers got a little flattened but were mostly protected by his glove; it was his face that had caught the most of it.
He stretched a little, trying to get comfortable, but it wasn't any good. He felt as if he'd… well, done a whole practice single-handedly against Cole. He was tired, but too uncomfortable to sleep, which was a bad thing. It gave his mind chance to wander. At least being flattened by Cole for two hours straight had made his mind focus only on avoiding as much pain as possible.
Now that he was lying down, doing nothing, he was beginning to feel a little bad at snapping at Fulton. Maybe it had been wrong to take his anger at Charlie out on Fulton. While Fulton did make a habit of baby-stepping Charlie through life, at the time when Adam had yelled at him, he seemed to be in some kind of fight with Charlie himself. What he should have done was entice Fulton over to the dark side and they could have complained about Charlie together.
Adam shook his head. That was dumb, really shockingly dumb. He and Fulton weren't particularly good friends, and even if they were, the idea of Fulton saying anything derogatory about Charlie, openly or behind his back, was simply impossible to picture, no matter how mad Fulton might be with Charlie at the time.
Adam sighed. What he really wanted was someone on his side. Just for a little while. Someone who wasn't bound by blood to agree with him. Danny was great, but as an older brother he was contractually obligated to take Adam's side. He rolled over on his side and picked up the cell phone that Danny had given him.
"Emergencies only, Ads. That thing costs me a fortune – and I will be getting it back off you." Had been Danny's final words on the subject of the cell phone on their last conversation.
"This is an emergency." Adam mumbled. "I'm tired, I'm sore and I'm –" he paused and thought about what else he was that necessitated his use of the phone. Finally his brain delivered an answer that was both true and argument-winning. "I'm lonely." Adam said.
He dialled Portman's number. Though he had only called Portman's house once, he knew the number by heart from all the other times that he had dialled it and hung up before it could connect.
"Hello?" A female voice answered.
"Hello, Mrs Portman. Is Dean available to speak?" Adam asked politely.
"Of course." He heard Portman's mom call to her son, followed by, "It's your friend, the nice one."
He heard Portman's chuckle. "You hear that, you're the nice one!" Portman said.
"Apparently." Adam said flatly.
"Oh god, another Duck's been shot. Let me get comfortable." There were some muffled clucks and rustling as Portman moved around. "Ok, I'm ready, I've got my soda, I'm sitting on the stairs, I'm good for at least twenty minutes before my butt goes to sleep."
Portman's slightly flippant tone annoyed Adam and he found himself snapping in return. "I'm glad, because I'd hate for my life to get in the way of your comfort."
"Adam," Portman said with ponderous patience, "I've been waiting for your life to get in the way of mine. Exactly when were you going to tell me you made Varsity?"
Busted.
"Did you get a nice shiner when Charlie hit you? How have you been doing stuck in the middle of the Ducks – who have apparently drowned and been reborn as dysfunctional JV Warriors – and their feud with Varsity? And while we're at it, how many messages do I have to leave before you return my calls? Ten, twenty?"
In the background he heard Portman's mom interject, "Don't you be mean to him, Dean. He has manners, you could learn a lot from that boy – I bet he never had to take anger management courses aged twelve."
"Your mom's on my side, at least." Adam said half-heartedly, but it broke the tension.
Portman chuckled. "Ok, she is. But seriously, are you going to answer my questions?"
"I guess I should have called you back." Adam said. The messages from Portman had been piling up in his pigeonhole in the main entrance to the dorm block, but something had stopped him calling him back. It wasn't just that calling Chicago ate money like nobody's business, or even that calling Portman wasn't something he wanted to do with a large audience of people who were patiently waiting to use the pay phone. It was more that calling Portman would be great. It really genuinely would. But then they'd have to say goodbye, and Adam would realise that he probably wouldn't see Portman again.
Maybe he could fly out to Chicago at some point, but he doubted it. Portman couldn't afford to fly to Minnesota, and if Adam was honest, it would most likely be Portman who made the effort. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Portman, he was just worried that in the time between now and that distant time in the future would diminish their relationship. He couldn't imagine anything more disappointing to fly out to Chicago and simply have an alright time with Portman. Towards the end of the summer, after the Goodwill Games, he and Portman had great times together. Anything less than that would hurt. So it was probably best not to go and just remember how good it had been, rather than how mediocre it might become. That was the difference between them, Portman would make the effort, he would want to know for sure.
"And he tries to avoid the bigger questions. Honestly, what is it about you Ducks? You're all crazy. It must be the water in Minnesota." Portman said.
"What makes you say that?"
Portman sighed. "I may have fallen out with Fulton recently."
"Yeah?" Adam asked in amazement. "Guess we have that in common."
"You go first." Portman said.
"No, I get the feeling that anything I say will lead us off on a tangent, you talk." Adam was delaying, but there was logic to his tactic.
"Fine. I called Fulton on Tuesday, and we didn't seem to be able to say anything nice to each other. He's pissed that I didn't come to Eden Hall – not that it matters, because he's quit now."
Adam did a quick count of the days. "Portman, Tuesday was the day Hans' died. I heard that he came back to Eden the next day. Hans' funeral was on Friday, Charlie came back to the team on Saturday."
Portman's sigh caused a loud hrrr-ing noise in Adam's ear. "I have no sense of timing, do I?"
"I don't know about that, everyone has off days. Remember when you wound everyone up during Bombay's Captain Blood phase? That was great timing, better we rip each other to shreds in our free time rather than during a qualifying game."
"Ah yes, the infamous moment when you thought I was a big goon." Adam could hear that Portman was regaining his usual cheer.
"And about twenty minutes later I figured out you were a genius instead."
"Well then, tell this genius what you said to Fulton, and follow that by everything else that has happened to you since I last saw you."
So, strangely enough, Adam did. He told Portman absolutely everything that had gone on since the start of term, that he made Varsity, the pranks between the teams, his estrangement from the Ducks, his almost painful anger towards Charlie, what he had said to Fulton, and he finished with getting flattened in practice earlier by a "big lugnut on the Varsity team".
Sometimes Portman asked questions, but mostly he listened. When Adam finished, there was a long silence, followed by, "Who was it who was gunning for you?"
"What does it matter?" Adam asked. "It was mostly legal checks, and it's not like it matters exactly who it was. It's not like you know any of these people."
"Adam, just tell me who it was. It doesn't make you a bad person or a weak person to tell me, it just makes you a person. It's not like I'm going to hop a plan and flatten the guy. And aside from anything, if you call me in two weeks and tell me that you and Bob worked out your difference over a harsh game of checkers, I don't want to ruin the moment by asking who the heck Bob is."
Adam laughed. "That's got to be the dumbest reason ever."
"Shut up, I'm a genius. Tell me."
Adam shrugged, even though the gesture was lost on Portman who was over three hundred miles away. "Fine, the goon's called Cole, even though I can't see us working out our differences, especially not over checkers."
"Are you sure? How about Monopoly? That's a nice long game, plenty of time for you guys to get talking."
"I can't believe I called you a genius."
Fulton made sure he sat next Julie on the bus home so he could ask her for a favour. Now was a good time to ask Jules, she was feeling suitably dejected and a little devil-may-care about the rules, given Dean Buckley's announcement that the Ducks' scholarships may be revoked. Fulton himself was feeling indifferent to the news, if they were revoked it meant that he could go home. Maybe his mom was a bossy woman, but she was reasonable, and if Fulton had told her the truth about what he was doing in Terri's room she would have believed him. She knew enough about her son to know when he was telling the truth. Or maybe, she knew plenty of ways to get him to talk, if she tried them all and the story remained the same, she knew he was not lying.
In theory, as a grounded person, Fulton should really go back to his dorm immediately, he wouldn't be checked in until 9pm, but the school trusted that he would do as they told him. Instead, he asked Julie to go to Terri's dorm and ask her to come outside and talk to him. Nobody would really check up, and if they did, both Fulton and Terri could get their roommates to say they were in the shower. Fulton had already run this by Luis, who had curtly informed him that he was going to see his love interest and, if someone checked up on Fulton, Luis would not be around to cover for him. That was good enough for Fulton.
Julie had agreed then ranted that she hated the alumni. When Fulton had responded with, "Damn the man! Save the Empire!" she had rolled her eyes and spent the rest of the journey staring out of the window.
All the same, she had gone to collect Terri who was now walking towards him.
"Hey." She said, joining him. "This is getting like stalking, you know. Most people don't like seeing me twice in as many days, even Anna, and she has to live with me." Her tone was light, but her eyes were a little dull.
"Another fight?" He asked. When she didn't answer, he tried again. "If it's any consolation, my roommate won't talk to me either. He's really pissed that he has to be checked in at curfew, even though he didn't do anything wrong."
"That kinda makes me feel better." She said. "Come on, let's go."
"Go where?"
"I think us standing around in plain view of everyone is pushing our luck, given the reasons why we're grounded. I know a place nobody goes. Come with me."
She took his hand and began to lead him to the back of the school, behind some buildings that weren't used for anything, as far as Fulton could tell. Eventually he found himself standing in a neatly kept courtyard that caught the afternoon sun nicely, surrounded by beds of immaculately kept roses and other more exotic blooms.
"What is this place?" He asked.
"It's called the 'Ornamental Garden'." Terri told him. "Nobody comes here, most people don't know about it and those who do are scared of killing the flowers. If you do any damage here, you have to nurse the flowers back to life – and if you can't do that, and this is only as a last resort, you must pay for a replacement – then nurse that up to the standard of the rest of the flowers. And these flowers are pretty rare, so you're looking at a lot of time and money. Pretty scary, huh?"
She lead him to the one bench there, on the backrest there was an inscribed plaque with a name and some dates on it. "The last Dean of Eden Hall and founder of the school, he died at the age of ninety-eight. He was also Dean Buckley's uncle. No nepotism here."
"How do you know all this?" Fulton asked.
"Anna and I explored a lot during our first week. We found this place while a gardener was tending to the flowers. Anna was genuinely interested and asked a lot of questions, I wasn't really listening, but Anna was quite enthusiastic and kept talking about it." She smiled at him, glanced at their linked hands and immediately let go. "But I'm guessing you didn't want to see me for a game of Eden Hall Trivial Pursuit, so what's on your mind?"
Fulton paused and thought. Now that Terri was here, he wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to say. Really, he should have asked Luis, but that would have been difficult to do, since Luis was barely talking to him. Guy might have been worth asking, but then again, Guy had started dating Connie aged ten, all he had to do was hold Connie's hand and the rest of the Ducks worked out that they were a couple. There should be handbooks on dating, Fulton decided. Handbooks that told you what to say and how to act. Finally, he shrugged and glanced around the courtyard.
When it became clear that Fulton wasn't able to speak, Terri opened her mouth again. "Fulton, why do you let people think I'm your girlfriend?" She asked in a quiet tone.
He met her eyes. "Do you want to be?" He blurted nervously.
She looked shocked, as if he had suddenly slapped her without warning. "What?"
"I mean, do you want to…" he shrugged, "go out on a date with me?"
She laughed tensely. "You're not serious, are you?"
His mind was quick to point out that he should feel crushing disappointment over this, but instead he felt defensive. That was all wrong, he should have felt defensive that Charlie didn't want to sit with him, and hurt that Terri wasn't taking him seriously, but it was all backwards. "No, I am serious. Why not? We get on well."
"Fulton…" she shook her head in confusion.
"Don't you like me? We're friends, right?"
She put her fingers to his lips, effectively silencing him. "You're actually asking me to be your girlfriend?" She asked, her tone was one of honest confusion. She took her hands away, stood up, and paced around, hands in her pockets.
"Yes."
She turned to face him. "You don't want to date me, Fulton. I know you don't. You're too friendly to like me like that."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that nobody usually wants to be friends with someone like me because they're scared I might wind up falling for them and they'll be stuck with a freak like me lusting after them 'til kingdom come. I could tell it never crossed your mind. You don't even know I'm a girl."
Fulton shook his head. "Those sound like your worries, not actual reasons." But she was making sense. She was making far too much sense. It had never crossed his mind that Terri might fall for him, just like it hadn't crossed his mind that he could date her. It just didn't seem like an option.
She knelt down in front of him, resting her hands on his knees, looking up at him with big blue eyes. "Tell me honestly, do you really want to date me? I mean, not just taking me out, I mean do you want to make out with me, do you really want to…" she blushed and lowered her tone, "do those things that the whole school thinks we're already doing?"
Fulton blushed furiously, shocked by her question. He remembered his second conversation with Terri, and how he had known that girls were tricky to talk to. This was a prime example. No answer would be right. Yes would make him sound like a fiend, no would prove her point.
"I won't make you answer." She decided, getting to her feet and walking a few steps away, her back to him. "But don't ask me out and pretend you mean it when you don't."
Fulton looked at the floor, slightly ashamed. It really hadn't been nice to convince himself that he wanted to date Terri. Using her to prove that he wasn't bothered by Charlie was kind of dumb. "I'm sorry."
She looked over her shoulder. "But the answer's yes."
He stared at her, absolutely baffled by the way her mind was working. "What?"
She turned to face him and shrugged. "Tell me why you're so determined to date all of a sudden."
He was absolutely not going to tell her that.
"If you don't, I'll assume it's for the same reason as me. If you do, I'll tell you my reason." Terri took a seat next to him again, she started speaking quietly to him. "Shona thinks there's something wrong with me. I think she might be right. She says she's going to tell my dad." She took his hand. "If I had a boyfriend, he wouldn't believe her. I trust you, and a lot of that is because I think that you're a bit like me in that respect."
Fulton rested his head on her shoulder, his worries, not falling away, but lessening slightly. Terri would understand. "There's a guy." He said, his voice dropping down just above a whisper. "He kissed me, and… I kissed him back, and it's all… it's all really weird." Weird didn't do it justice, but Terri knew.
"Well, we'll be weird together, and let people think we're not."