A/N sorry about the wait for this chapter but I had trouble uploading it. Because you've had to wait so long, I'm posting the next Chapter as well. Enjoy and please r & r if the mood takes you!

Chapter 11

"It's actually quite simple" Martin started "I'm in love with Sam"

Danny looked at Martin like he'd sprouted a second head. "In love with her? You're in love with Samantha? Explain…explain to me how you being 'in love' with Sam explains why you hurt her so badly, why you slept with her and left without saying goodbye, why you attacked her when she was being honest with you about the baby when she didn't have to, why you're engaged to another woman!" Danny was almost shouting when he finished and it was making Martin nervous.

"I'll tell you everything Danny but can you please stop attacking me and interrupting because it's making it harder." Martin asked quietly. Danny was making it harder for him but Martin also knew that Danny had every right to be mad at him and show it.

Danny gave him a look that clearly told Martin not to push his luck. "Talk" He ordered crossing his arms over his chest.

"I had to leave because I relapsed. After being almost shot again only eighteen months after nearly dieing was a little hard for me so I started popping pills again to take the edge off."

"Yeh I know this already Martin. What I want to know is why you hurt Sam the way you did" Danny interrupted losing patience already.

Martin swallowed slightly nervous "I know but I need to explain this first for you to understand why I left Sam like that." Danny gave him a look that said hurry up then.

"Once my Dad found out about the drugs, he wanted me in a program on the other side of the country and I couldn't play by their rules. I stopped taking anything once I was found out, I didn't want to back to the way I was. So by the time my Dad was involved, I was essentially clean. But the urge to relapse was strong and being on the job while recovering wasn't an option either. Taking time off wouldn't have worked because there would be pressure to go back and I couldn't handle it. So in order for me to recover I had to leave."

Danny couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Martin. He knew first hand how hard it was to beat an addiction. "Okay I get why you left, I understand the need to leave. But it doesn't explain what you did to Sam." He told Martin.

Martin gave him a weak half smile. "Sure it does. I went to say good bye. I love her, I had to say good bye to her face. But it was harder than I expected. Things hadn't been too good with us since her and Jack…you know. So I didn't think she'd be too upset about it but she was. She stood between me and the door as I tried to leave and asked me to stay. Did she tell you that?" Martin looked at Danny to see that a lot of the anger had worn off although his body language was still pretty hostile.

"She told me." Danny replied shortly, nodding.

"We kissed and it quickly got heated and we…well you know what happened. I couldn't help myself; I had missed her so much." Martin continued with feeling.

"Afterwards, she fell asleep quickly and I watched her sleep. I knew I had to leave in order to recover fully and not risk my life or anyone else on the teams' life because I wasn't up to the job. So I got up and dressed quietly, kissed her gently, whispered to her that I was sorry, said good bye and left. If I'd stayed till she woke up I couldn't have left. I couldn't look in to those beautiful liquid brown eyes again, seen the pain there and walked away."

Martin leaned back against the wall feeling completely exhausted and relieved at having finally told someone why he left and why he did what he had to Sam. He slumped to the floor as he added "So you see it was because I loved her and wanted to protect her that I walked away like that. I love her Danny, I love her."

Danny stood watching him not sure what to think before copying Martin and sitting down against the adjacent wall so they were sat at a right angle to each other. There was something in Martin's voice that convinced Danny that he really meant it when he said he was in love with Sam and was doing the only thing he thought he could to protect her from himself. But it didn't explain everything quite yet.

"So if you're in love with her, why didn't you come back to her? Why did you snap at her and call her a slut when you did come back? And why the hell are you engaged to another woman?" Danny asked him.

Martin sighed knowing this bit was going to be hardest for Danny to understand. "I didn't come back to her because I was scared. I though that she'd hate me too much to want anything to do with me. Or that she'd be with Jack and tell me that the night we spent together was a mistake and didn't mean anything to her. And I kept telling myself that she was better off with out me." He said sounding ashamed, his gaze on the floor.

"I can't believe you were that stupid Martin." Danny said sounding almost exasperated. You'd think two smart FBI agents who spend half their time reading people's emotions and feelings, would be able to see how in love with each other they were and do something about it! Danny thought. He was pretty much over his anger at Martins actions.

"I snapped at her when I heard about the baby because I was shocked. I didn't know what to think or want to believe it. I…it kinda has to do with the answer to your last question, about Anna, as well. I met Anna soon after arriving in Chicago, yes that's where I've been all this time," He added seeing the question on Danny's face.

"She was pretty and sweet and really helped me to get settled there, as a friend. It started to become clear that she wanted more and I thought it might help me move on from Sam so we got together. After about four months I was thinking of calling it off when she told me she was pregnant."

Danny looked shocked and Martin couldn't blame him. He had been even more shocked when he had found out.

"When she was about five months pregnant I asked her to marry me because I thought it was the right thing to do. But about ten days later we were involved in a car crash and although Anna wasn't too badly injured the shock and impact to her abdomen was enough to cause a miscarriage." Martin finished quietly.

Danny couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was no wonder he had reacted so badly to Sam telling him that it was his baby. To have lost one must have been hard enough but to lose two, and both because of car accidents, must be unbearable.

Martin held up his hand when he saw Danny open his mouth to speak. "Let me finish. After losing the baby I didn't have the heart to leave her and we needed each other to get through what happened. It took about a year for us to really get back to normal. By then I had talked myself into believing I loved her so we stayed together."

"Then Anna was offered this promotion here in New York and really wanted it. So she went for it and got it. I found out that you guys were looking for another team member so called Viv and she offered me the job so I took it."

"Since Anna told me there was a possibility of us moving to New York, all I could think about was Sam. Seeing her and hearing what happened to her was more of a shock than I could have ever imagined. She seams so much happier and it's because I left. It's very strange. Knowing I could have had a child with her, been a family with her was hard but knowing that another child was taken from me because of another car accident was too hard to comprehend."

"I know I was wrong to strike out at her like that, I didn't mean any of it, I didn't want to hurt her. I'm so sorry Danny." He finished sounding apologetic and relieved at the same time.

Danny watched his old friend thoughtfully for a few moments before saying anything. "I am glad to have you back Martin. I meant what I said when I welcomed you back. But then you hurt Sam again and having spent the last three years piecing her back together, I'm closer to her than I've ever been and, although we are friends too, you hurt her and I will always chose her side unquestioningly in a heartbeat. She's my sister."

Martin looked at him a soft half smile on his lips "I know. I'm really glad you two are that close and you look after her. She deserves that. Is…is she seeing anyone?" Martin asked looking at the floor again slightly embarrassed but also nervous of what the answer may be.

Danny had to let out a small laugh at Martins attempt at casual "No. Don't worry she's single. However you might do well to remember your not!" He added pointing a mock accusatory finger at him with a smirk on his face.

"Yeh don't remind me" Martin sighed, glad to know that Sam's single but a little depressed knowing he himself currently isn't.

"Do you want her back?" Danny asked, serious again, closely watching his friend.

"Yes, I do." Martin replied looking Danny in the eye and not being nervous to do so for the first time since they'd stepped into the elevator.

"So then what are you gonna do about it?" Danny asked with a slight challenge in how he asked but not threatening.

Martin continued to look at his friend and knew what he had to do but also knew it was going to be hard. He knew it would get messy and people were going to get hurt doing it. So the question really was how to do it?