Part: (19/?)
Writer: Az K Mello
Summery: Possessions get possessed.
Warning: mega angst. Buffy bashing, don't read it and don't flame. I've warned you, only idiots don't read the liner notes and then bitch.
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Slamming the door behind him Angel was nearly panting with his anger. He was sick of Spike preaching to him. Sick of Spike being right. He didn't need his fucking childe to tell him how to treat his mate. Xander had wanted the fucking mark. It was none of the idiot blond's business.
Xander knelt up on the bed and studied his lover. Clearly the vampire was unaware that he was growling. He knew that Angel and Spike sometimes had a difficult time getting along but they had seemed ok earlier. It was his fault. He should have considered Dru and Spike before practically begging Angel to mark him. He crawled over the bed and reached out to Angel. The vampire growled more loudly and pushed his human away. For a moment Xander studied the man. There was so much anger in the vampire's stance. There was so much predatorial grace in the way Angel cocked his head. He stood more like a wounded dog than a man. The faint question of Angelus' presence ran through his mind. Was it possible that claiming the boy had finally caught up to Angel? But Xander threw the idea away. This was just a very, very angry Angel. He lent back up to touch his mate again and again he was pushed away harshly.
"Ow, that hurts," he cradled his still wounded shoulder and sat back on his heals. If Angel needed the space that badly then he couldn't deny him it. The boy didn't realize that Angel had stopped growling.
Angel's eyes instantly focused on him. The animalistic rage was gone and all that was left in its place was remorse and fear. He had just harmed his human, breakable lover, "Are you ok? Oh god, baby, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry." Crawling onto the bed he wrapped himself around the boy and made hushing noises. "God. See what you're tying yourself to?"
"*Who*, who I'm tying myself to, not *what*," Xander corrected, "Love you. What happened?"
"Spike and I had a fight."
"And? What was it about?"
Sighing Angel said, "He was right about something I didn't want him to be right about."
Xander laughed, "He's not allowed to be correct about stuff?"
"Not when I'm wrong." Angel's voice was serious and he couldn't understand why the boy was laughing. Xander pulled the vampire's head down to kiss him. He laughed into Angel's mouth. "No, seriously, he was correct about something he's not even allowed to have an opinion about."
"What's that?" asked Xander trying to sound serious.
"You," Angel said as he buried his head in Xander's shoulder. "He's not supposed to realize things about you before I do. It's not fair." Xander almost laughed at the petulant child in his arms but paled when he really thought about it.
"So what pearl of wisdom did Spike tell you about me?" he asked with a coldness that hurt. Spike didn't like him . . . he thought that the vampire and he had been becoming friend-like but instead the vamp was talking about him behind his back.
Sighing Angel was now totally calm from his boy's touch. He had to be honest. If he really wanted Xander than he couldn't hide it from him, "That marking you as mine doesn't mean you actually know that."
"Of course I do," Xander corrected gently.
"Do you? You are the most important person to me. No one else matters but you."
Xander's face broke into a smile so bright Angel nearly squinted. "Really?!"
Angel shook his head slowly. How could Xander not see himself? He was adding Buffy and co onto the list of people he would kill for causing his boy to think so little of himself. "I wouldn't tie myself to you if you weren't as precious to me as . . ." he sighed, angry that he couldn't make himself clear, "the stars and moon. And that mark precludes others from touching you. You're mine. You're all I want. Do you get that? This isn't a little nothing deal. If you left now you would have to be with a human because no demon will have you with that scar screaming that you're mine. I told you that I will always be here, even if you aren't. And if you do go . . . I'll always love you and you will always carry me with you." It was really fucking corny. Christ, he should have grown out of this by now. He ran his finger over the scab. He felt himself shudder as Xander's eyes fluttered shut.
"Wow. I, I love you." Xander laughed at the lameness of his own response after Angel had given, what he perceived as, a very eloquent little statement.
"Please, Xan. I'll give you as long as you need. But promise me that someday you'll mark me?" he begged softly. His every moment was calculated. The boy *would* realize how dear he was. "I know I said that I wouldn't push you. And I won't but please, tell me right now if there is a chance that I'll be yours." Internally Angel was pleased with his actions. He knew that the boy wanted him, and would always want him. He had been so worried about scaring the boy away, had thought that Xander would eventually leave him. But he knew now that Xander had no intention of ever letting him go. He wanted to belong and Angel wanted to have him. Until studying the boy earlier in the night he hadn't realized just how lonely the mortal truly was. He had always known that Xander wasn't the doughnut boy. What he had never understood was that Xander and the rest of them really *did* believe it. How could all of them, and the boy himself, believe him to be so worthless. "I'm jealous of my own mark when I look at your neck. You belong to me and the whole fucking world can see that." He looked up and right into Xan's eyes, "I want to belong to you, to be only yours."
"Angel? Are you still mad at Spike?"
"How can I be when you keep stroking my hair?" asked the man as he nuzzled back into the boy's shoulder. "Why? Did I scare you? I'm sorry I'm just . . ."
"A moody, broody guy?" asked Xander with a laugh, "I'm well aware. No, I wasn't scared, a little worried that Spike would never walk again," He sighed exaggeratedly, "but not scared. I just wanted to make sure you were calm now because I would hate to look back and think that I claimed you when you weren't emotionally capable of making a decision." His mind repeated the sentence and then gave him a pat on his metaphorical back, no need for the book learning.
"What?" Angel smiled. A lot of people didn't believe he had real emotions, brooding, angry brooding, and self-pitying brooding. But then most people weren't Xander. Until his boy came along he had been one of those people.
"I want to have you forever. Keep me safe and I'll keep you sane."
"I wouldn't ask that much from you," Angel laughed. "Just having you by my side will keep me from ending up like Dru but . . ."
"You're already slightly mad? I know, honey. Only you could have conversations with yourself while doing your hair and staring at a mirror that you can't see yourself in."
"I wasn't talking to myself! I was instructing my hair! . . . I shouldn't admit that."
Smirking Xander turned on Angel's lap and placed his mouth over flesh and waited for his lover to react. The vampire smiled but moved Xander's head down slightly and to the left. Xander ran his tongue over the scar, the mark of Darla. His mark was going over Darla's? Thus eradicating any claim she had on him? A sire's mark is sacred. "Are you sure?" he asked softly. He didn't want to take the mark away if Angel was only doing it to please him.
"Wanna be your, no one else's." Xander smiled and kissed Angel's throat gently. "It won't turn you," Angel promised softly as he felt Xander tense, "You said it earlier, it's a mental connection based on want and intent, I don't want you to be turned so you won't be. You'll just become eternal. Not at once mind you, it'll take a few months for it to get established, and even then it only becomes permanent if the PTB accepts that we won't hurt each other."
"I know, I'm just . . . savoring." Xander bit down hard and ripped Angel's flesh cleanly apart. The mark of Angel's turning was now gone and in it's place was a wound that could never fade. The boy lapped at the blood, it's rich flavor barely resembled blood but for it's coppery taste. It was fire, and expensive wine, power, nectar of the fucking gods.
Angel felt like he had finally come home.
Writer: Az K Mello
Summery: Possessions get possessed.
Warning: mega angst. Buffy bashing, don't read it and don't flame. I've warned you, only idiots don't read the liner notes and then bitch.
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Slamming the door behind him Angel was nearly panting with his anger. He was sick of Spike preaching to him. Sick of Spike being right. He didn't need his fucking childe to tell him how to treat his mate. Xander had wanted the fucking mark. It was none of the idiot blond's business.
Xander knelt up on the bed and studied his lover. Clearly the vampire was unaware that he was growling. He knew that Angel and Spike sometimes had a difficult time getting along but they had seemed ok earlier. It was his fault. He should have considered Dru and Spike before practically begging Angel to mark him. He crawled over the bed and reached out to Angel. The vampire growled more loudly and pushed his human away. For a moment Xander studied the man. There was so much anger in the vampire's stance. There was so much predatorial grace in the way Angel cocked his head. He stood more like a wounded dog than a man. The faint question of Angelus' presence ran through his mind. Was it possible that claiming the boy had finally caught up to Angel? But Xander threw the idea away. This was just a very, very angry Angel. He lent back up to touch his mate again and again he was pushed away harshly.
"Ow, that hurts," he cradled his still wounded shoulder and sat back on his heals. If Angel needed the space that badly then he couldn't deny him it. The boy didn't realize that Angel had stopped growling.
Angel's eyes instantly focused on him. The animalistic rage was gone and all that was left in its place was remorse and fear. He had just harmed his human, breakable lover, "Are you ok? Oh god, baby, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry." Crawling onto the bed he wrapped himself around the boy and made hushing noises. "God. See what you're tying yourself to?"
"*Who*, who I'm tying myself to, not *what*," Xander corrected, "Love you. What happened?"
"Spike and I had a fight."
"And? What was it about?"
Sighing Angel said, "He was right about something I didn't want him to be right about."
Xander laughed, "He's not allowed to be correct about stuff?"
"Not when I'm wrong." Angel's voice was serious and he couldn't understand why the boy was laughing. Xander pulled the vampire's head down to kiss him. He laughed into Angel's mouth. "No, seriously, he was correct about something he's not even allowed to have an opinion about."
"What's that?" asked Xander trying to sound serious.
"You," Angel said as he buried his head in Xander's shoulder. "He's not supposed to realize things about you before I do. It's not fair." Xander almost laughed at the petulant child in his arms but paled when he really thought about it.
"So what pearl of wisdom did Spike tell you about me?" he asked with a coldness that hurt. Spike didn't like him . . . he thought that the vampire and he had been becoming friend-like but instead the vamp was talking about him behind his back.
Sighing Angel was now totally calm from his boy's touch. He had to be honest. If he really wanted Xander than he couldn't hide it from him, "That marking you as mine doesn't mean you actually know that."
"Of course I do," Xander corrected gently.
"Do you? You are the most important person to me. No one else matters but you."
Xander's face broke into a smile so bright Angel nearly squinted. "Really?!"
Angel shook his head slowly. How could Xander not see himself? He was adding Buffy and co onto the list of people he would kill for causing his boy to think so little of himself. "I wouldn't tie myself to you if you weren't as precious to me as . . ." he sighed, angry that he couldn't make himself clear, "the stars and moon. And that mark precludes others from touching you. You're mine. You're all I want. Do you get that? This isn't a little nothing deal. If you left now you would have to be with a human because no demon will have you with that scar screaming that you're mine. I told you that I will always be here, even if you aren't. And if you do go . . . I'll always love you and you will always carry me with you." It was really fucking corny. Christ, he should have grown out of this by now. He ran his finger over the scab. He felt himself shudder as Xander's eyes fluttered shut.
"Wow. I, I love you." Xander laughed at the lameness of his own response after Angel had given, what he perceived as, a very eloquent little statement.
"Please, Xan. I'll give you as long as you need. But promise me that someday you'll mark me?" he begged softly. His every moment was calculated. The boy *would* realize how dear he was. "I know I said that I wouldn't push you. And I won't but please, tell me right now if there is a chance that I'll be yours." Internally Angel was pleased with his actions. He knew that the boy wanted him, and would always want him. He had been so worried about scaring the boy away, had thought that Xander would eventually leave him. But he knew now that Xander had no intention of ever letting him go. He wanted to belong and Angel wanted to have him. Until studying the boy earlier in the night he hadn't realized just how lonely the mortal truly was. He had always known that Xander wasn't the doughnut boy. What he had never understood was that Xander and the rest of them really *did* believe it. How could all of them, and the boy himself, believe him to be so worthless. "I'm jealous of my own mark when I look at your neck. You belong to me and the whole fucking world can see that." He looked up and right into Xan's eyes, "I want to belong to you, to be only yours."
"Angel? Are you still mad at Spike?"
"How can I be when you keep stroking my hair?" asked the man as he nuzzled back into the boy's shoulder. "Why? Did I scare you? I'm sorry I'm just . . ."
"A moody, broody guy?" asked Xander with a laugh, "I'm well aware. No, I wasn't scared, a little worried that Spike would never walk again," He sighed exaggeratedly, "but not scared. I just wanted to make sure you were calm now because I would hate to look back and think that I claimed you when you weren't emotionally capable of making a decision." His mind repeated the sentence and then gave him a pat on his metaphorical back, no need for the book learning.
"What?" Angel smiled. A lot of people didn't believe he had real emotions, brooding, angry brooding, and self-pitying brooding. But then most people weren't Xander. Until his boy came along he had been one of those people.
"I want to have you forever. Keep me safe and I'll keep you sane."
"I wouldn't ask that much from you," Angel laughed. "Just having you by my side will keep me from ending up like Dru but . . ."
"You're already slightly mad? I know, honey. Only you could have conversations with yourself while doing your hair and staring at a mirror that you can't see yourself in."
"I wasn't talking to myself! I was instructing my hair! . . . I shouldn't admit that."
Smirking Xander turned on Angel's lap and placed his mouth over flesh and waited for his lover to react. The vampire smiled but moved Xander's head down slightly and to the left. Xander ran his tongue over the scar, the mark of Darla. His mark was going over Darla's? Thus eradicating any claim she had on him? A sire's mark is sacred. "Are you sure?" he asked softly. He didn't want to take the mark away if Angel was only doing it to please him.
"Wanna be your, no one else's." Xander smiled and kissed Angel's throat gently. "It won't turn you," Angel promised softly as he felt Xander tense, "You said it earlier, it's a mental connection based on want and intent, I don't want you to be turned so you won't be. You'll just become eternal. Not at once mind you, it'll take a few months for it to get established, and even then it only becomes permanent if the PTB accepts that we won't hurt each other."
"I know, I'm just . . . savoring." Xander bit down hard and ripped Angel's flesh cleanly apart. The mark of Angel's turning was now gone and in it's place was a wound that could never fade. The boy lapped at the blood, it's rich flavor barely resembled blood but for it's coppery taste. It was fire, and expensive wine, power, nectar of the fucking gods.
Angel felt like he had finally come home.