Part: (21/?)

Writer: Az K Mello

Summery: Spike casts a spell on Angel to make him lose his soul. Things don't go as planned and instead Angel just opens up about his feelings towards Xander.

This chapter: Any one up for some kitten gambling?

Warning: mega angst. Buffy bashing, don't read it and don't flame. I've warned you, only idiots don't read the liner notes and then bitch.

Waking up alone Xander felt slightly hurt at not finding Angel next to him. But suddenly he felt waves of love pass through him. He felt ghost kisses down his back. The bond between Angel and him sung and comforted him. He sank back into the pillows and just let it run over his body. After a moment he stood and stretched feeling sore in all the best ways. He could sense that Angel was with Dru and wasn't happy. He felt sadness that didn't actually belong to him, it was an odd sensation. Dressing quickly he wanted to go downstairs and see if anything could be done to make his lover more comfortable. His lover. Mate. Husband. He pressed against the bond and tried to send happy vibes to Angel.

The vampire watched as his lover alit the stairs. "Have I told you how lucky I am today?" he asked the boy who was framed in harsh light from the industrial lights hanging from the ceiling of the warehouse.

Shaking his head Xander just smiled, "I've only been awake for three minutes."

Smiling Angel said softly, "Love you."

A gagging noise caught Xander's attention and he looked over to see Spike pulling on his boots by the doorway. Drusilla was watching Spike with angry eyes and purposefully ignoring her sire. Feeling the hurt pouring off his lover Xander was driven to semi crazy actions. "Drusilla?"

She looked at him for the first time. Then she looked back and forth. Finally she turned to Spike and said, "The kitten claimed the stupid puppy! Now I'll never get the kitten to myself!"

Spike looked up at Xander, "Oh," he said softly and he went back to tying his boots.

"What, Spike?" Angel sounded mightily put out as he addressed his childe.

"You're in the second stage already." Angel looked at his childe with a little more interest. "Xander, do you feel the poof in your head?"

"Yeah." Xander sounded confused, as though he had always been able to feel Angel's emotions. Because it didn't feel weird: it felt like being complete.

"This shouldn't be happening," said Angel softly as he realized what his childe was getting at. It hadn't occurred to him to think it odd when he had sensed Xander waking up. It had just seemed so normal when he had felt Xander stretching; as though it were his body that was moving. "This shouldn't be happening for months."

Spike studied them both for a moment as the pair gazed at each other. He quietly crossed the room and pinched Angel's arm hard. Angel just looked at his with a raised eyebrow but Xander let out a surprised yelp, "Defiantly stage two: you can hear each other's minds and you can feel the other's pain. Well that is a turn up for the books."

"Uh-huh," said Xander sounding slightly confused, "Well, as much as I'm enjoying this stimulating conversation on physiology that I can add nothing to, I'm bored." Angel looked at him with slightly confused eyes until Xander spoke again, "Drusilla? Spike and I are going out for a little while. You want to be my friend?" The vampire nodded quickly. "Then keep my Angel company. Be nice to him, I don't want him to be lonely while I'm out." She gave him a slightly dirty look but nodded none the less.

"Wait a mo! Who said you could come? I'm going to a very important poker game of kitten gambling, you can't come. Very important demons will be there. How does it look if the master of the Hellmouth turns up with his sire's pet?" said Spike angrily but instantly stopped when not one but three angry sets of eyes glared at him. "Well 'm not going not with 'im if he insists on wearing that clobber. It looks like a baby sicked up on that shirt."

Xander looked down at his shirt. He felt the eyes watching him and felt instantly embarrassed. The vampires were all so perfectly attired. The all looked as though they had wandered out of a tailor's shop and then lived in the clothes until they hung off their bodies perfectly. Feeling hyperaware he studied his shirt. He liked it. He had actually thought it looked good on him. He thought he looked almost presentable. All of his clothes had come from Wal-Mart, or the Salvation Army, or passed down from a cousin he'd met only once. He wondered what Angel was thinking he could feel Angel's eyes on him, burning him. And though he could sense Angel through the bond he didn't really know what Angel was truly thinking. After all he could send happy vibes to the vampire it didn't mean he was. "I'll go change."

He sensed rather than saw his sire cross the room and he wasn't shocked when he felt himself being hit hard around the head and he didn't miss a beat when he said, "I'm sorry, Sire. I just meant to wind up the boy. It wasn't meant to really make him upset. No one takes me seriously. I expected him to throw something at me or tell me I needed to change me face before we left!"

Sighing Angel knew that his childe was telling the truth. Spike would never be mean to someone he considered blood and Xander was most defiantly in that set. But Spike was really just a big brother who couldn't ever resist an opportunity to niggle anyone. With the slow patience of a longsuffering dad he said, "Imagine that you're a teenage boy and you've been indoctrinated into believing that vampires are all pure evil and that liking a guy is a bad thing and then in a 48 hour span suddenly moving in with your lover and his vampiric childer both of whom have tried to kill you. And then one of them says you're somehow lacking." Without waiting for a reply he turned and walked up the stairs. Even though he knew that his childe hadn't intentionally hurt Xander he was still angry with him. As he walked into the bedroom he saw Xander's naked back. "Damn it, I wanted to see you undress!"

Xander laughed softly without turning around, "I could put the shirt back on and take it off for you," he offered.

"No," said Angel as he walked up behind the boy and wrapped his arms around Xander's waist. "If you did that I wouldn't be able to do this," he licked a line from the boy's shoulder to just behind his ear. "Put your shirt back on and come downstairs."

"Spike said I had to change. It's an ugly shirt anyway."

"You like it."

The material was worn and soft. Xander did like the shirt and had worn it so many times that it was starting to go thin. "Yeah, but I'm not blind. I know it's ugly."

"It looks fine. It suits you. You like your slightly garish shirts. They make you look cute. Kind of awkward and innocent. Spike was joking. He likes annoying people. He didn't expect you to be upset or to really change. He's a tease. The number of times I've ended out with them both in my bed because Spike had told some horrible story just to scare Dru is uncountable. And he's especially bad right now as he isn't allowed to kill anyone."

Xander searched through his bag looking for something to wear. Highly critical he thought all of his shirts were hideous and he wondered how he'd ever worn any of them. Angel's hands came to rest on Xander's shoulders. "Xan, wear whatever you like, you're just going out with Spike."

"To a card game where he's representing Sunnydale." Xander knew a little bit about kitten gambling. He knew it was a rather aristocratic game. He knew that if Spike said he was going as "the master of Sunnydale" then it wasn't some game in the back room of a bar. This was the cream of the crop, probably some diplomatic game. And as Spike said, Xander was Angel's pet. He didn't want his appearance to reflect badly on Angel.

"What?" Angel said slowly, "You're worried about making Spike look bad?"

"No, Angel, I don't want to make you look bad. If there really are important people there I don't want them to see me and think less of you. To think you don't look after your pets."

Sighing Angel tightened his hold on the boy. "You aren't my pet and I don't care what they think of us. Neither should you. You're worth isn't based on what they think of you or what you're wearing. Besides when you walk in there they'll all be so jealous that you're off limits that they won't think about your clothes."

Xander gave up on looking for a nice shirt. He could feel the muscles in his shoulder twitching. It didn't matter what he wore, he would always look clumsy and garish next to the vampires. He knew that he wasn't really looking for a shirt he was looking for some comfort. And then he saw the shirt Angel had been wearing the day before. A black tee shirt. He picked it up off the floor and asked, "Can I wear this?"

"If you like," said Angel with a small smile. He let go of the boy long enough so that Xander could don the shirt and then Angel was holding him again and breathing unneeded breaths, "God, you smell good."

Xander had picked the shirt because it smelled of Angel. He was a little nervous about going to the poker game but the scent of his mate made him instantly more calm. "I smell of you!" he laughed.

"No you smell of us." Angel's eyes fluttered shut. "Don't go with Spike stay here with me?"

"You need to talk to Dru, that won't happen while we're here," said Xander softly.

Surprised, Angel opened his eyes, "That's why you're going? I thought you were really bored."

"Yeah, 'cause it's so easy to get bored in a warehouse with three vampires." Angel laughed. "You need with Drusilla to talk. . . or whatever."

Angel turned the boy around so he was looking Xander in the eye when he said emphatically, "I'm not going to sleep with her."

"I wouldn't be angry, Angel, I know that sex is important with vampires and their families. I wouldn't be mad at you." He was proud that he managed to keep his words even. He wouldn't be mad but he would be hurt.

"You're the one I want, Xander, only you." He kissed Xander slowly practically worshipping the boy's mouth. He felt Xander tremble. "It's ok to be scared, Xan."

"Of what?" asked the boy, he sounded like he wanted Angel to tell him what he was afraid of because he couldn't figure it out himself.

"Everything's going really fast," said Angel, "And it's easy to get caught up in it. But you're my mate. I love you. You're the most important person in my world. You aren't my pet, you're my mate. It might get a bit hairy but I'll be right here." Xander nodded but said nothing, "You'll be safe at the card game Spike won't let anyone hurt you. You might even have a good time. Thank you for helping me with Dru but if you're having a bad time don't hesitate to come back here." The vampire smiled then, "Don't stay out too late, you have school in the morning."

Spike stood outside earwiging, listening to their conversation. He felt badly for calling Xander Angel's pet; it had been a low blow. Xander was family and Spike didn't want to hurt his family. He would have to make amends for him his action.