Chapter 24

As Martin and Sam were seated at their table Sam smiled softly. It was a nice place, quite modern, but still gave off a cosy vibe. There was soft music playing in the background, the lights were soft so that there were no bare bulbs but you weren't struggling to see, there were also candles on every table and little glass vases with pretty flowers in them. The place was quite small but the tables were well spaced so that you could have a private conversation but not so far apart you felt isolated. Sam was a little surprised Martin knew of it seeing as he hadn't been back in New York long and she had never heard of it.

Sam looked at Martin almost shyly across the candle light watching the light flicker across his features. The cab ride over had been quiet, but pretty comfortable. "This seams like a nice place." She stated breaking the silence, "How do you know about it?" She asked.

"My new place is couple of blocks from here. Someone in the building recommended it to me. I tried it last week and the foods really good" Martin replied smiling.

"Oh that explains why you brought me here, the food's good!" Sam laughed.

"Well of course! Why what other reason would I have for choosing this place?" He laughed going along with her joke. He knew from the cab ride over that she was nervous and trying to make things easier.

Sam laughed again smiling at him before looking away and down at the menu instead. "So what would you recommend then?" She asked keeping the subject away from anything remotely personal. She wanted to be there but she wasn't convinced she was ready for it.

"Um…everything." Martin said looking down at his own menu.

Sam laughed again "You can't have tried everything on the menu" She pointed out.

"No but given what I have tried I'm sure it's all good" He said.

"Are you ready to order?" The waiter asked.

Martin told him that they weren't yet but ordered wine in the mean time before looking back at his menu. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments deciding what to have before the waiter returned with their wine and took their order.

Sam looked around her trying to find something non personal to talk about. "It's Pretty full in here" She stated, that was a pretty same thing to say.

"Is it?" Martin said glancing around, "I didn't notice. I'm too preoccupied with the beautiful woman in front of me." He said with a soft smile meeting her eyes.

Sam blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap. "Thanks." She breathed. "So how are you settling in to your new place?" She stuttered, trying very hard to ignore the deep, knowing look he gave her. "Have you moved all your stuff in now?"

Martin sighed softly and went with her change of subject. They chatted about it until their food arrived.

"That was pretty quick." Sam said impressed, as the waiter left.

"Yeah they're pretty good about that in here." Martin said before taking a large bite of his meal.

"How many times have you been in here?" Sam asked curious.

"A few." He replied, "Its easier than having to make something at home seeing as tings are still pretty scattered there. Dig in, its good." He said looking at her as yet untouched plate.

Sam did as he asked. "Wow, you're right. This is really is good. You have good taste." She said as she looked at him over the table, looking away quickly when he gave her a look that made the rest of the world fall away. She was really regretting saying yes to coming out with him.

Martin watched the different thoughts flow across her face and sighed again. He didn't want her regretting her decision to come out with him. He really wanted this to work this time. They continued eating in silence for a few minuets but it wasn't comfortable now. There was a tension between them and they both knew what was causing it.

Finally Martin broke the silence, "Why are you regretting coming out with me tonight?" He asked gently, "I thought we were getting closer again, that you wanted this as much as me?"

Sam kept her eyes on her meal refusing to look at him. "Sam, please, talk to me." Martin pushed gently getting more worried.

"What makes you think I'm regretting this?" She asked feigning ignorance but still refusing to meet his gaze.

"Because you are. And I know you, so you can't make me think you are. I want to know why." He said still gentle. He stared at her frowning slightly, he reached out a hand and took her chin gently, but firmly and raised her head to look at him, "Look at me Sammy. Please." He asked. "Talk to me."

Sam looked at him, the hurt in his voice was to much for her. But it was the pain she saw in his eyes that was her undoing. She loved him and she hated knowing that she was the cause of his pain but she was scared. "I'm sorry Martin. I really am. I do want this to work its just," She glanced away again, his hand still on her chin. The sensations it caused her nearly made her just spill everything to him. It was also making it much harder to keep her hands off him!

"Sam?" He asked, trying not to be too pushy and be patient. The last thing he wanted was to scare her off.

Sam glanced at him again. "I," she took a deep breath before continuing "I'm scared. This didn't work first time around. And that was my fault. I didn't know how to let anyone in. I didn't know how to share. I didn't want to let anyone in. I thought I was fine that way. Safer. If I didn't let anyone in I couldn't get hurt. But I was wrong.

"When I was a kid my dad left me and my sister and my mom alone. I was 6 when he left my sister was 9. We didn't have a lot of money when he was around, he wasted anything he had on beer and because of his drinking he couldn't keep a job. He used all the money my mom earned paying for his habit. My mom would get mad at him for it. That sparked him off. He would hit her. He put her in the hospital more times than I can remember. When he finally left I thought things would get better but they didn't.

"We seemed to be even tighter on money. Where we were living was barely more than a trailer. We had nothing. My mom was always out at work, she was never at home. My sister and I did what we could to help but it got harder as time went on. My mom and I would fight and disagree on everything. I dated guys she hated and always brought them home just to piss her off. Every now and then my father would return. He would sleep with my mom again for a while, take any savings he could from her for more beer. He would slap her around as well. When ever he turned up he'd kick me and my sister out until he left so we had to break in to our own home to get what we needed. If we got caught he would hit us to. I wanted out of that life, I wanted away from her. I wanted to piss her off. That's why as soon as I hit 18 I married the guy I was dating."

Sam paused and briefly glanced at Martin, ashamed. It was only when a tear landed on her arm that she realised she was crying. Realising that brought her back to herself further and she realised that Martin had both her hands in his on the table. She quickly pulled her hands away and made to wipe her tears away. Martin grabbed at her hands and stopped her. He gently brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, brushing the tears away himself. Sam froze under his touch. Martin continued to wipe away her tears but his gaze was locked on hers.

"Would you like anything else?" The waiter interrupted ruining the moment. Sam instantly looked down blushing to her hair roots as Martin tried to regain his composure quickly.

"Uh no. No thank you, just the check please." He said. The waiter nodded and moved off to get it for them. Martin waited until he had gone before speaking to Sam. "I really want to continue this. I want to hear what else you were going to say. I'm really glad you're opening up to me. Let's go for a walk ok?" He asked gently.

Sam only nodded, still unable to look at him, still buzzing from the electricity between them. "Ok" She managed, voice barely above a whisper. The waiter returned and Martin paid the bill. Once he had they both stood, still without another word and headed for the door and out in to the night.