Disclaimer: I don't own TRC. :eye twitch:

Oi! Fei-Wang, get over here…closer…clooooseerrrrrAVADAKADAVRA!

:flash of green light:

Okay, I feel better.

I'm on a roll, nya! Tamagozushi, to be quite certain!

Okay, so I'm not on a sushi roll. But I am coming up with LOTS of ideas for KuroFai short stories! Wellll, not stories…just fluff. Pointless fluff. I won't be surprised if this column grows fur, attracts multitudes of butterflies, and bounces off without me.

OH! But! Guesswhatguesswhat! I gots a deviantART account, wootcha! And I got lots of KuroFai fanart! Wheet! So all of you may enjoy KuroFai-ness whenever you so wish at penarddum. though. I've been inspired. I don't know why. But I've just really, really been on a roll with writing. Maybe it's because ZOMFG I'S GONNA BES GRADUATING FROM HIIIIIGH SCHOOOOOOOLLLLL! WHEEETWHOO!

So…yeah. I've been writin lots…if you can call these things without plotlines, conflicts, and resolutions writing. Just rambles, I guess, nya.

Okay, review response time….

Hayai Akurei: Fweet! Arigatou. accepts cup They are quite naughty, aren't they? Though…if you'll excuse my naivete, what did you mean by "Aesop rolling around in his grave?" I know, it's silly. :mad blush:

ZRedPoppy: FWAAAAA! Hi, Elenhie! I'm so glad that I could make joo feel better. Would you really translate your stories for me? That makes me happy, nyaa! Doomo, doomo!

dark-night-sky: Trust me, this sounded a LOT better in my head then it did on paper. But I'm so glad that you liked it!

bloodytwistedangel: Whaddup, homie! Hehe, you do seem like a Fai-guy double. More Fai then Sakura, definitely. Demo…I said that a yaoi will be a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time in coming. As in, don't expect it anytime soon, gomen nasai. As to why I still respond in here…well, force of habit, I guess. I like doing it this way. Buuut…maybe I will try the RR someday. I unno. We'll just have to see. Thanks for adding me to your alerts list! Kyaaa, yer so nice!

Well, now that that's out of the way…onto the strangest of the stories so far. I don't know how it'll sound on paper, buuut…this made me laugh so hard when I thought of it. I hope it makes you laugh, too. Let's just say Nintendo brought this on themselves….

Not Another KuroFai Oneshot Section!

By Supa Penny-Penarddum Half-Light

Movement Fourth: Balls and "Wees"

"KURO-TAN! KUROCHANKUROWANKOKUROKUROKUROPON!"

All the ninja did was grunt, grabbing the nearest thing he could find (read: rather big metal statue) and throwing it in the general direction of the speaker—mage, manjuu, what-the-fuck-ever it was one and the same this early in the goddamn morning.

Wait for i—and then he heard a mix between a metallic clang and something being dropped, and inside he cursed whatever goddess or deity there was that had blessed him with the ill luck of bad aim.

"Tch, Kuro-sama, you need to calm down!" the voice said, moving closer towards him. "Such a destructive nature, when all I want to do is ask Kurogane a question!"

"Fine." A red eye, still glassy and velvety with the languor of sleep, opened up. "The hell is it?"

He probably should have punched the mage right then and there—said man was about 5 millimeters from his face, smiling that smile that Kurogane knew bode no good—but in the two seconds it would have taken to gather the strength to do so Fai asked a question that left him utterly speechless.

"You wanna play with my balls...?"

"Let's see…was it two lefts and then a right, or…gah! Not AGAIN!" Syaoran was normally a very patient boy, but he had, alas, left Sakura alone for more than five seconds, which of course is more than enough time for ANYBODY to come and kidnap her, obviously. So thus, Syaoran was understandably becoming very very frustrated.

But then he heard a sound that made him turn his head and stay his anger for just a moment; Fai's laughter, and a grunt.

But wasn't Fai-san's room across the…? Stuck in a moment of confusion, the boy inched close to the door and heard something…well…odd, to put it mildly.

"Come on, Kuro-chan! Just touch it! Once, onegai?"

"It's really small."

"But it'll get bigger, I promise! Please, just one poooookeee? I know you'll like it…."

":angry sigh: What? I just go like this and…oh. Oh, wow. So :that's: what it does…."

"Oh well, you don't like it. Come on, just let me have my—"

"No wait, wait…." Silence, then a gasp.

"Oh, my! Kuro-tan, I'd wait to do :that: for just a couple more minutes."

"Gah…yer right. Then how about…."

"YES! That's it! Keep doing that!"

Wh…what the…. Syaoran's mind had understandably gone numb by this time. He wasn't well acquainted with…well, the, erm, deed, so to speak, but he and Sakura :did: accidentally walk in on her older brother and Yukito-san one time, which had led to awkward silence from both Sakura's father and his father and an explanation that, were birds and bees to mate, they'd be mutant hybrid creatures the size of cats that could sting people and then his father had ranted and the children had gotten bored and gone off to play.

Oh, yes. Syaoran had a PRETTY good idea of what they were up to.

"…Kuro-chaaaan…?"

"What, ya damn mage?"

"…can I have a turn playing with your wee?"

"What? B-but I just started playing with it!"

"Demo, Kuro-pyon, it's not nice to hooooooohhhhh," Fai said, a little too seductively for Syaoran to interpret. "That…Kuro-tan…was amazing." All Kurogane did was grunt.

"Come on, come on!"

"…Fine. All right. Not that you could do any better thanOHMYGOD how did you do that!"

Do what? Do WHAT!

"I learned it with my own wee." He giggled as Kurogane let out another gasp. "Nyaaa, Kuro-pi likes that?"

"N-no…he's just…amazed."

"Want me to do it again?"

"YES! SHOW ME, DAMNIT!"

Syaoran knew he should probably leave the two alone to their privacy—he and Sakura had asked the King what he was doing with Yukito once which led to one very angry older brother and a twisted arm for Syaoran—but something held him there, mortified, as Kurogane gasped and yelled and Fai just laughed.

"Ah! Here we go! Let's get that up…wait, wait a minute! It's going down! No, NO! Get up there!"

"If you broke it, mage…."

"Demo, what could be wrong with it! I swear it was working all right five minutes ago! I even managed to get it up all the way!"

A frustrated sigh from Kurogane. "Damn nuisance. All right, let's look around. Maybe there's something around here that can help."

A moment of silence and moving around, and Syaoran thought there was a little more than haste in the movements he heard. Then—

"Kuro-chan! I think I found something!"

"Tch, what is THAT!"

"It's something that people buy to give this thing power! Maybe it'll work on my wee!"

"Aggh, fine, let's try it…."

Silence again.

"Hey, Kuro-chan! It's working it's WORKING! See, I'm going all the way to the top!"

"Hn."

Another moment of silence.

"You know, Kuro-chan, this would be a lot more fun if we had other people here with us. Maybe I'll go and get Syaoran-kun and Sakura-chan and…."

There was a loud thump as Syaoran passed out and collapsed to the floor.

"Huh?" Fai blinked. "Kurogane, do you—"

"Goddammit, don't stop!"

"Kuro-puu, I think someone out there is hurt…." Fai stood up, leaving the couch and walking over to the door, Kurogane in tow with a white remote controller in hand.

"I swear, if it's another—"

"OH! Kuro-chan—it's Syaoran-kun! He's all passed out on the floor!" Fai quickly bent down, giving Kurogane ample time to take advantage of the mage's naivete as he checked Syaoran.

"He's out cold…unconscious, but that's about it." He stood, looking into the room, then at Syaoran, then back at the room. "Say…you don't think that—"

"Kid's probably just tired," he grunted, immediately dismissing the thought because it was too worrisome to think about.

Fai looked dubious a moment, then sighed and nodded. "I suppose you're right. Can I have my Wii back, Kuro-rin? I should probably go to bed after I take Syaoran to his room."

All the ninja did was growl and glower as he handed the white remote to Fai. "Now what will I do for fun?"

"Well, I've taught you how to use the system. Maybe you can play a little with it yourself," Fai said, his comfortable mask slipping on again. "At any rate, I'm too tired."

Kurogane looked at the mage, then cocked his head a little and grinned wolfishly. "Come back and we can do it again tomorrow?"

Fai's voice was seductive and coy. "You know I will. Good night, Kurowanko." And with that, Fai whisked Syaoran down the hall bridal-style, and Kurogane took advantage of the situation by admiring Fai's…erm…"assets" before he turned the corner and vanished from sight.

With a chuckle and a shake of the head, Kurogane shut the door gently behind him.

And later, KuroFai yaoi fangirls would worship this moment as the best goddamn game of Katamari Damacy ever played on an Nintendo Revolution.

A couple of explanations:

Katamari Damacy is a game in which you play the King of the Galaxy's twelve-foot-high son, who must roll around a ball collecting "stuff" so that the stars in the sky that are going out can be remade. This includes nails, people, and various other things.

Nintendo Revolution is a game coming out in late 2006. It is controlled by a remote known as an…erm…"Wii."

I'll allow that information to sink in before I attack you with flaming arrows for reviews.

JAAAAA!