Sorry, everybody, I know I haven't updated in a while. I was busy. Science state testing and stuff. Not to mention that I had to write a five-page paper on the interactions between humans and the environment in the northwest part of the country, and all the sources I could find were about Kenya. So, yeah. I've been swamped. And I'm going to the beach for a few days over spring break, and then in April I'm going to my grandma's birthday, and then on a class trip. So I won't be home for a while. Hope you all like this one.

5: Give him a furby for his birthday. Snicker when it talks and scares him. Look innocent when he glares at you.

"Happy birthday to you!" read Ozai. Scowling at the letter, he started to crumple it up, but was stopped by Lara snatching it out of his hands.

"Happy birthday from Zuko, too!" she sang, reading off the parchment. "We love you, dear Ozai. Happy birthday to you! Aww, how sweet."

"Its foolish nonsense, growled Ozai, starting to get up. Lara shoved him down again. Caught off-guard and off-balance, he landed in his chair, and his sister sat on his lap to prevent him from getting up.

No matter how old he got, there was one thing that Fire Lord Ozai never figured out. Not to say that he was stupid. He was, in fact, a very smart man. Evil, yes, it was a family trait. But smart. Definitely smart.

But there was still one thing that he never figured out. And that thing was very simple.

You see, Ozai was sixteen years older than Lara. The fact that his armor made him look bigger than he really was didn't mean much, he was still a rather large man. He was also extremely strong.

Lara, however, was not. Her power all went to her brains. She was small and lithe, whatever lithe meant. Ozai and Iroh were her much older bothers… er… brothers, sorry, they were her brothers, she was their bother. Anyway, they had always been bigger and stronger than her.

So, when Lara sat down on Ozai's lap, according to the laws of physics and common sense, it should not prevent him from rising. But Ozai never really figured this out, which was why he remained seating.

"Foolish nonsense," Ozai repeated. "Birthdays are foolish nonsense, but my brother and Zuko making such a grand big deal out of it is even worse."

"And who is Zuko?" teased Lara.

"A foolish coward," retorted the Fire Lord.

"He's your son," his sister retorted. "And you are my loving brother who is a little to fond of the word 'foolish'."

"Lara…" growled Ozai.

Shrugging off his warning tone, she lifted a wrapped parcel and dropped it in his lap. Well, she was already sitting in his lap, so it was more her lap which it was dropped in, but the point is: it was a gesture to open it.

"Open it," Lara ordered, emphasizing her gesture by putting it in words.

Sighing, Ozai complied. He started to rip open the present, but Lara once again stopped him.

"Uh, uh uh," she warned him. "Read the card first."

Ozai opened the card, and started to read. Or, at least, he tried. As soon as he opened it, it began to sing.

Without another word, Ozai incinerated the card.

"Aww," whined Lara. "Big brother, you ruined it." She paused, giving him puppy dog eyes. When she got no reaction but a disgusted sigh, she shrugged. "Never mind. It's your birthday, after all. I'll just sing what the card was supposed to sing."

"No, Lara, that's quite alright…" began the Fire Lord hastily, but his sister would not be deterred.

"Have a happy birthday!

Have a happy birthday!

Hope you,

Hope you,

Hope you,

Have a happy birthday!

Dear Ozai-

We disagree a lot, but I hope you understand that I still love you anyway. You're my big brother, and I care about you. Have a happy birthday! Don't incinerate anything today, alright? You know how bad that is for your blood pressure. Today's your special day. Take a break. Happy birthday! I love you.

-Lara."

"I guess it's a little too late for that last one," she said sadly.

Ozai sighed. "Lara… Look, I know you meant well, okay?"

Lara smiled up at him, taking that as a much of an apology as she was going to get. "Open it now!" she chanted. "Open it now, open it now!"

With a twitch of the head which might have been a smile in any other man, Ozai complied.

Inside the parcel was a small toy. It was about the size of his hand, furry, with two glowing yellow eyes. Well, maybe they weren't glowing, precisely. Actually, they were closed at the moment.

It was a Fire Bender red, with a small Fire Lord crown right between its two pointed ears. A tuft of hair was springing out of each one, much like the hair that many of the generals had in their ears.

A small piece of his… its fur on the stomach was white instead of red, and that coloring was in the shape of a flame.

"Why, Lara, thank you," Ozai managed. "Er… what exactly is it?"

Before the wayward Royal Sister could respond, the toy opened his… its eyes. "Hello." It said.

Ozai screamed and fell out of his chair. Lara, who was still on his lap, went flying. The creature twitched his…its feet as if it was trying to walk.

"Feed me," it ordered.

Once again, the Fire Lord screamed like a little girl. Actually, I think he might have been an octave or two higher…

Lara snickered quietly. Her big brother was so hilarious!

"I love you," the thing announced randomly.

"I don't," cried Ozai, blatantly unaware that the toy had no idea what he was saying.

"I love you," it repeated.

"Lara, what is this thing?" wailed the Fire Lord.

"Why, brother, I'm surprised you had to ask," Lara told him. She knew that she shouldn't be being so mean, but she couldn't help it. Ozai was funny when he was being terrified of a child's toy.

"Wha… what is it?" he begged.

"Say please."

To her surprise, there was no resistance to that request. "PLEASE, Lara, what is it?" he screeched.

Lara smiled maliciously. "A furby. It's a child's toy. Very popular. Very cute, don't you think?"

"You got me a child's toy?" She nodded enthusiastically. "LARA!"

Lara grinned with the perfect innocence of the angle-furby that she had considered buying before spotting the Fire Lord edition. "What?"