Collins and Angel thumbed through the pages of the scrapbook, admiring each picture as they came to it. Angel would laugh and explain what had happened before and after, and Collins would just lose himself in the sound of her voice, the feeling of her in his arms and the brush of her hands as she gestured. The life in her that he treasured so much seemed to have flared when she saw the book, and Collins would savor that in anyway he could.
"Oh my god, look, it's our baby pictures, I forgot that we had those! I love Mimi's, it's just so her, you know? C'mon, here, let's—" Angel turned the page and stared at the next photo, the one of Collins and her together. Slowly, she put one finger on the edge of the picture and gently traced it. Collins tightened his hold on her slightly.
"This was the first one we put in, huh?" Angel said, her voice surprisingly husky. "I remember that, a day after Christmas…c'mon I want to see more." She turned the page, and now the photos were new to Collins as well. Here was a shot of Roger and Mimi, leaning towards each other with big smiles on their faces. Collins felt himself smile at that. Then there was a photo of Angel, Maureen, Mimi, and Joanne, arms linked around each other. And after that, three more pictures that featured Collins: one of him with Roger and Mark, one with him and Mimi, and another where had his arms around Angel's waist. They moved through the book slowly, taking in each photograph. Somehow, Collins felt Angel shiver when they looked at certain photos, and he wondered if they should stop; but he knew that she wouldn't let him stop her if he tried.
Finally, the last page was turned, and they were staring at the last three photos, grouped together on the page. The two smaller ones were in the top corners: on the left was Mimi and Roger, arms wrapped around each other, faces inches apart. On the right were Collins and Angel, lips touching gently as they kissed each other. And in the center, a large group shot of all seven of them, arm around each other's shoulders and waist. Mark was at the far left, with one arm around Roger, and Roger had an arm around him and one around Mimi's hips. Mimi was sort of jumping in the air, one hand on Roger's shoulder and the other around Angel's neck. Angel, whose face was bright and laughing and merry, really, was leaning against Collins and reaching out to ground Mimi at the same time. Collins had his arm around Angel's waist and the other around Maureen's, who was trying to plant a big kiss on Joanne. Joanne looked like she was struggling to get away and stay in the picture at the same time, but Maureen had her by the shoulders and there was nothing she could do. They all clung together, one family, one group, one love. Collins felt his throat ache a little as he gazed at what they had been. How could everything have gone so wrong?
Angel, he suddenly realized, was crying. Her body was shaking very slightly, and Collins felt a drop of something wet slither onto his hand.
"Baby, are you okay? You want me to—"
"No, it's okay honey, I'm…I'm fine." Angel wiped her eyes and sniffed. "Sorry, just looking at that makes me a little…you know. But Collins…Collins, I don't want to die."
The way she said it was like an arrow in his body. All he could do was wrap his arms around her tighter and kiss the top of her head as she sobbed harder now, tears actually running down her face. He had never seen her loose control like this, never seen her openly weep for herself. It hurt him so badly.
"Sorry…sorry," she struggled to say, choking back the cries in her throat. But Collins only held her and let her cry again, finally winding down as her tears dissipated.
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry, baby, that just…just came up, you know? But I'm ok now, I'm fine. Honey, I want to show you something." Angel, still breathing hard, reached down and picked up the scrapbook, flipping to the last page. The pictures gleamed into the hospital light, and Collins felt like shutting his eyes. Angel, reaching to the top of the page, actually slid her finger into the sheet of paper.
"You see this? It's like a pocket, where Mimi and I used to eave each other notes…Baby, after I'm gone, check inside this pocket, ok?"
"But wh—"
"Promise me you'll do it?" Her voice was shaking a little, and before she could cry again he said, "Of course, Ang, of course I will."
"Good, and now baby, I think I'm just a little tired. I'm gonna sleep now, ok?" Collins nodded and got up, letting Angel lie back on the pillows. But instead of sitting in the chair again, he lay down next to her, one arm under her neck and the other passing over her stomach, gripping her waist. She didn't say anything, only rolled around o curl up beside him. And that's how Mimi found them the next morning, snuggled up together like little children, taking comfort in each other.