Yes, I did get this song from Avenue Q. Stop asking me, seriously. xD
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"Moooorning, Sora!" Kairi yelled, running towards him, smiling. "How's life?"
"Disappointing," Sora answered, laying back on the grass.
"Aw, what's the matter?" Kairi asked, trying to sound sympathetic.
"Everything."
'Stop being emo, Sora.' Kairi thought, glaring at him, but instead said, "Oh well. You'll get over it, right?"
"It sucks to be me!" Sora yelled suddenly, sitting up. "It sucks!" He ruffled his hair, groaning.
"You think your life sucks?" Kairi asked, snorting. "Mr. Oh-Look-At-Me-I'm-The-Hero-Of-The-World." Ew. Bad nickname. Maybe, like, Mr. OLAMITHOTW.
That's still bad.
Sora nodded slowly, eyeing her oddly. "Queer," he muttered.
Kairi glared. "Your problems aren't so bad! I'm kinda pretty, and pretty damn smart," she said, starting to sing.
Sora choked on his spit. Kairi had a terrible singing voice. "Um, sure?"
"I like romantic things, like music and art.
And as you know, I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have a boyfriend?
Fuck! It sucks to be me!" Kairi yelled, half-singing.
"That's 'cause all the guys around here are gay," Riku interjected, walking onto the scene. "Duuh."
Kairi gaped. "What about Ti—"
"He's with Wakka."
"…Leon?"
"Psh. Cloud."
"That guy, Axel?"
"…oh, come on. He claims his hips don't lie. How much more gay can you get?" Riku asked, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, whatever," Kairi said, sighing.
"Why you all so happy?" Yuffie yelled from across the park.
"Why you acting Japanese?" Sora asked.
Yuffie scowled, walking up to them. "I deal with you, later, bitch," she muttered.
"Anyway, it's because our lives suck," Kairi said, sighing.
"Not mine," Riku said, smirking.
"Shut up."
"Your lives suck? I hearing you correctly? Haaa!" Yuffie said, giggling.
"Seriously, Yuff, stop the Japanese accent thingy," Sora said. It was getting freaky because it sounded natural.
"'Kay fine," Yuffie said, crossing her arms childishly. "But, like, your lives don't suck."
"Um, excuse me?" a voice asked, sounding scared.
"Yeah, what?" Yuffie asked, playing with the ribbon on her hooge ninja weapon.
"I'm looking for a place to live," the female said, nodding.
"Aerith, you're so weird," Riku said, laughing.
"Lemme get the superintendent," Yuffie said, opening her mouth and taking a deep breath. "YO, SQUALL!"
"Leon. It's Leon," the man said, scowling.
"Oh my god, it's Squall Leonheart!" Aerith said, gasping.
It doesn't work as well. He's no Gary Coleman.
"Yes, I'm Squall Leonheart. I used to be popular, but now I'm the butt of everyone's jokes."
"Not really," Sora muttered. "I mean, um, it sucks to be you."
There was a murmur of agreement before everyone yelled. "It sucks to be you!"
"You win!" Kairi yelled. He didn't really win, but she was tired of this.
"It sucks to be us!"
"It sucks to be Zexion!" someone yelled.
"What the hell?" everyone else asked.