Chapter 14

In the Cold No Longer

(Author's Note: the incident that Grace describes to her parents happened in one of previous stories, the REVELATION OF JOAN, Chapter 2)

Just a few days ago Harvey was telling me how intelligent I was, thought Luke. But here I'm doing something crazy, standing in the snow in front of a house where I'm not wanted. But it makes sense to me.

At last! A figure in heavy overcoat and jeans came out the front door, and he spotted enough features to convince him that it was Grace. As she reached the sidewalk, he stepped in her way. "Hello, Grace."

"Are you stalking me?"

"Um, I guess so. Except that I'm pretty harmless." Nice manly approach, Luke. "But you hang up on my phone calls, and I suspect you're just deleting the Emails I send--"

"Yep."

"-- so this is the only way to reach you. After that desperate call on Monday, I called my cousins and got the full story. I know about the crop failure--"

"Yeah? Well, God dropped by and said it wasn't my fault."

"But you hoped that I could fix it. Maybe, if I devoted all my study to the subject, I could. Do you want me to?

"Why do you care?"

"Because YOU seem to care. And I need to know because it determines what I'll be concentrating on for the next few months. My contact at Harvard wants me to do a physics project on string theory, to impress his department and the admissions people. But if you want me to study genetic engineering, I'll do that instead."

"And risk your acceptance at Harvard? You'd do that for me?"

"Not just for you," Luke said frankly. "When Cowgirl God met us last summer, she hinted that she wanted me to get interested in biology. With you and God pulling the same way, isn't that a big sign of what I should do?"

"Dude, only you would undercut your own case like that." Grace hesitated. "Come inside."

"But I'm not welcome there."

"Screw that. It's time to thrash things out."

Grace led Luke inside the house, and into a sort of study. Luke supposed that the rabbi was writing his sermon for tomorrow, for he was sitting at a desk with an odd combination of tools: a Torah scroll and a computer. Mrs. Polonski was reading a magazine. They looked up in surprise. "Mr. Girardi, I told you--"

"I know," said Grace, "but I have something to say, and I want everybody to hear at once."

The rabbi frowned. "Say on, then."

"Last summer -- it was June 2, to be exact -- Mom had too much to drink. You had to take her to the hospital, and you ruined a sleepover that I had at the Girardis that night."

Mrs. Polonski turned pale, and the rabbi said angrily, "We agreed not to discuss that anymore. Your mother has overcome her addiction to drink."

"Yes, but it's relevant. The next day I stayed with you guys at the hospital, but you finally sent me home. I got very lonely in this house, so I asked Luke to come over and keep me company. And since there wasn't any other convenient place for Luke to sleep, I let him share my bed."

"You mean -- November wasn't the first?" stammered Mrs. Polonski. "Last summer, you two --?

"We nothinged. I wasn't in the mood, to start with. But consider Luke. If he was the sort of predator you think he is, he could have taken me in my sleep. He could have overpowered me when I was awake--"

Luke rather doubted that, but thought it prudent to keep his mouth shut. Grace was running the show.

"He could have played on my emotions to get me to submit. But he did none of that. He was just there for me, exactly as I asked. What happened in November was my initiative. Luke didn't seduce me; the Girardis didn't fail to protect me. I offered myself. He wanted me all along. There was clear, because once we got together--"

"Um, Grace, you don't have to go into details," Luke interrupted hastily.

"Er, yeah. And when you asked Luke to stay away, he's honored that request all along. The point is, Luke's been the perfect gentleman."

"I'd like to say something," said Luke. "I know you despise me for what I did with Grace. But I want to win back your respect. Because some day we may be members of one family. I dream of making Grace my wife some day."

"Wife!" yelled Grace.

"I'm glad you value my daughter so much," said the rabbi, "but a mixed marriage --"

"I understand your concerns, sir. I'd be willing to bring up our children in the Jewish faith--"

"Children!" exploded Grace. "I don't intend to get knocked up any time soon! Rooming with Bonnie for a week was bad enough."

Luke hated exclude Grace from the conversation, but this might be his only chance of speaking to the rabbi. "I'd even offer to convert, myself, but I don't know of it would be intellectually honest. I was baptized a Catholic, yes, but the only really observant member of our family is my brother's wife Lily. My own religious beliefs concern God as the source of nature and its laws." And of course there were meetings with Joan's divine Friend, but Luke had never figured out how to fit that into his philosophical point of view. "Einstein and Spinoza talked about God in that way, but though they were Jewish, I know they were scarcely conventional--"

"Let's not get so far afield," said Mrs. Polonski. "Darling, Grace has been willing to forgive years of problems due to my drinking. We should be able to forgive the young people for their actions last month."

"Forgiveness implies acknowledgement of wrongdoing," said the rabbi. "Do they even realize why it was wrong?"

"I think I do," said Grace," and everybody stared at her, because Grace never admitted to being wrong. "Sex is like playing with fire, and at our age we don't have experience enough to deal with it. Look at Glynis -- the smartest, most promising girl in school, and yet her career nearly got derailed by a baby. Look at Adam -- the most sensitive boy I know, but sex tempted him away from his perfect mate Joan. Bonnie herself, looking for thrills to distract herself from her messed-up life, and messing her life up even more. Even me. I should have realized that Luke had good reasons for avoiding me after we did it, but at the time I was too excited to see anything but "he won't do it again; what I do wrong?'"

"That's worldly wisdom," observed the rabbi sadly. "not religious insight, but I suppose it will do." Luke saw a weight of sadness behind that: a realization that Mrs. Polonski's secret alcoholism had ruined their attempts to raise their daughter as a good Jewish girl, and now it was too late to undo what they considered as damage. They did not understand, of course, that Grace had her own religious instincts and that God had taken Grace under Her wing. "You'll be 18 in a few months, Grace, and I'll suppose you'll do what you like beyond that. But if you promise not to engage in sexual activity until then, you may meet with your boyfriend. And, Mr. Girardi, it seems I can trust you not to tempt Grace otherwise."

"Yes, sir."

The rabbi extended his hand. "Then welcome back to our house, Mr. Girardi. I hope you will be able to share our Hannukah celebration on at least one night."

"Thank you, rabbi, I will. Um, may I speak to Grace alone?"

"Living room," said Mrs. Polonski. Obviously the bedroom was off limits.

The two teens went into the family's living room. "I've never seen you humble yourself like that before, Grace."

"Yeah. I've had a bad week. When a field withers under your care, and you end your first job by stepping in a pile of horse crap, it's a rather humbling experience. But I'll get over it." She brightened. "At least now, we can answer the question I asked on Joan's birthday."

"Um, I don't remember it."

"Now that I've let you pat my ass, is a simple kiss still thrilling?"

They embraced, and Luke placed his lips on hers. After a few minutes, he withdrew to say:

"Yes. It is."

TBC