Winter Journeys

Chapter 15

Opening a New Book

Christmas was now just three days away, and Joan could hear some carolers walking through the downtown streets in the light snow:

---- Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men

Joan was feeling little peace herself. Nobody was coming into the bookstore, not even to make last-minute purchases. The only people who had been in the store for the past two hours were Sammy and Joan, and every time Joan opened her mouth, Sammy would speculate about "saving expenses" by eliminating her position. Meanwhile the whole Ali Musa was still unresolved, hundreds of miles away in Boston.

Luke was going to visit both Grace and her parents, trying to negotiate an end to their three-way feud. Fat chance of that, Joan thought. Grace was a difficult lover and a good hater.

And the Roves had been visiting relatives in Ohio, dashing Joan's hopes of seeing Adam on her return from Boston. Now they were back, and she might see Adam tomorrow, for the first time since her grand revelation.

The bell rang over the bookstore door. At last, customers who would justify the bookstore's existence! Joan virtually raced to the door, then saw in dismay that it was Mr. Logan and Mr. Seiffer. The former was poker-faced and the latter seemed in a bad mood.

"May we speak to the manager -- ah. I'm sorry to come this close to Christmas, but it's crucial to wind this up before year end."

"Come back to my office," said Sammy, looking rather sick. If they were going to shut him down, at least he didn't want Joan to hear.

Joan sat down at the reading table and brooded. It looked like a job of more than two years had folded. She didn't really need the money, but the bookstore had symbolized other things. Independence, the Outside World. And she reminded herself that she had taken this job at divine command. Had she fulfilled all her responsibilities here? Should she have taken advantage of her position and read more? Was God going to be mad?

She heard the office door re-open, and stood up to hear the verdict as the trio came to her.

"I've renegotiated!" Sammy said in hysterical relief. Logan looked at him oddly as if surprised by the pronoun. "REDDING AND ASSOCIATES want to use this store as a flagship for a new style. I've said yes, certainly. They're going to send a project manager to help run the store a new way. That means that you better behave, Miss Girardi. No more sitting on the floor or meeting with your boyfriends here. I've been tolerant, but the new co-manager may not put with such foolishness."

"Maybe not," said Seiffer, looking amused for the first time since Joan had met him.

"When will the co-manager be coming down?" Sammy asked Mr. Logan.

"She's already here."

"Oh, I see. You were waiting for my agreement before calling her in. Well, I'm willing to meet her now."

"You already have," said Logan. "Miss Girardi, congratulations on your promotion. We've decided to give your Book Site a try."

Joan was stunned. The desperate Book Site demonstration had actually worked! Not only that, but she was being trusted to carry it out.

"Her!" said Sammy in dismay. "You mean, I can't fire her anymore?"

"No more than she can fire you," said Seiffer, "which is, of course, an idea."

"Wait!" said Joan. "I'm a high school senior -- I can't come in during the day."

"That's all right," said Logan. "You're the ideas person, not a clock-puncher. We can negotiate details later. Sammy, where are you going?"

"I need to find a nice long book to read while adjusting to the new situation," said Sammy faintly. "Like, say, WAR AND PEACE---"

----

Once she got permission to leave, Joan walked home through the streets, heedless of the snow. She passed the carolers as they were singing another song.

Go tell it on the mountain -- over the hills and everywhere --

The boisterous song should have filled her with good cheer, if anything. Instead it triggered a contrary wave of thought, almost as if Joan was emulating Grace.

But Ali Musa can't go anywhere. He's in jail. And though he's Muslim and Christmas means nothing to him, it's still wrong for him to be locked up and facing injustice while everybody else is celebrating.

When she reached home the family was already eating dinner; she told them that there was a crisis at the bookstore and not to wait for her. She slipped into her chair and, when an appropriate opportunity came up, told her family about her promotion to co-manager.

"Wonderful, honey!"

"I'm proud of you, Joan."

"Wait until Harvey hears. Though it was your idea, Joan."

"Now we really have something to celebrate this year," Will continued. Tomorrow I'll cook a special holiday dish myself--"

"I won't be here," declare Joan suddenly.

"Wh-what?" stammered Helen.

"I can't sit here while Ali Musa is in jail. I'm going back to Boston."

"Who is Ali Musa?" demanded Will.

Luke told them about the unfortunate immigrant, careful to leave God out of the story.

"It's noble of you to sympathize with the man," said Will. "But you know nothing about him. He could help you in a moment of gallantry and still be guilty."

"I won't believe that. I KNOW he's innocent."

"But what do you intend to do?" asked Helen.

"I don't know. But when I think of something, I'll be there."

"When?" asked Luke. He seemed last surprised by the others; he knew about her talks with God.

"I'll go tomorrow. As soon as I've explained things to Adam."

"But tomorrow's the 23rd!" exclaimed Helen. "You may miss Christmas Eve -- Christmas--"

"I can't help that. What's the use of Christmas if you don't obey the founder of it? 'I was in prison and you visited me -- what you do to the least of these you do unto me'. I'm an adult, and I'll be using my own money. You can't stop me -- unless you want to throw me out, like Bonnie's mother."

"Never," said Will. "And certainly not for a good deed -- but --"

"It's settled," said Joan. "I'm going."

-----

When Adam opened his shed door the next morning, he did a very peculiar thing: he stepped forward as if to kiss her, then froze up. Since he was standing in the door, that meant Joan couldn't get in.

"Adam, can I come out of the cold?" asked Joan.

"Um, of course." He backed up to let Joan in, closed the door, and kept his distance.

"Adam, what's wrong?"

"I betrayed you last spring, Jane. I felt bad enough just about that, but now I know that you're somebody holy."

"Oh, crap," exclaimed Joan, not having expected this reaction. Certainly neither Luke nor Grace were inclined to hold her in awe. "There's nothing holy about me, Adam. I don't even know why God picked me. I'm a klutz. Luke and Glynis and Friedmann are smarter than me, and Grace would make a much better warrior for good. While you -- you did something so noble that Bonnie named her baby after you. Stop putting me on a pedestal, Adam, and kiss me." When he still hesitatedd, she crossed the distance herself and hugged him. Desire seemed to overcome his reluctance and he kissed her passionately.

Coming back up to breathe, Joan tried to focus on practical matters. "I had to come by, Adam, to tell you that I'll be away for a few days."

"Over Christmas? Why, Jane?"

"Unfinished business. I was supposed to get this guy out of jail, and I didn't. That's why I said I was a klutz. So I'm going back to Boston to see what I can do. I'm just sorry that it means running out on you again."

Adam stood in thought for a moment. Then: "I'll go with you."

"What!"

"You shouldn't have to spend Christmas alone, Jane. I'll come and try to help you solve your problem. Or, at least, keep you company. I got prize money from that art contest I won last September; I can use that. For two years you hid part of your life from me, Jane. Now I want to share it."

"All right -- but -- let's get one thing clear. Last time that we went out of town overnight, you assumed that I was ready to -- to go all the way. But I'm not promising that this time around. I'm still not sure I'm ready."

"I understand, Jane."

"Then pack up as quick as you can. Train leaves in two hours. Then -- I don't know what we'll do."

"We'll be together, Jane. That's what counts."