A/N Okay, I'm going to stop pretending that the idea of a guest writer is for your benefit. I'm trying to write two stories at once, between this and Sing Along2, and I keep catching myself planning a sequel to Mary-Sues of All Kinds. Any takers? Only number eighteen is taken.
On another note, I had a great vacation. Shot off some fireworks, caught a newt or five and named one Lara, debated the supporting of Zutara with my brother, etcetera. Hope you like this new chapter.
13: Encourage him to take a yoga class. Don't tell him what it is until he's already there.
Lara was beyond annoying.
Well, we already knew that. I mean, annoying is your little brother jabbering on about his video games. Annoying is your friend saying she'll call you and then not. Annoying is people thinking you have a crush on someone you hate.
No, Lara was not annoying. Lara was extra-super-extremely-aggrivatingly-annoying. Also known as Lara.
But now she was beyond bugging Ozai as revenge for… whatever she was avenging this time. Maybe it was the Furbies. Maybe it was Zuko. Maybe it was the dust bunnies, which he had recently swept away. Maybe it was the fireworks.
Maybe it was her sanity.
Anyway, she was beyond bugging Ozai. She was going to reach a higher level. A never-before reached level. A level that nobody in their right mind had ever even considered.
She would do the unthinkable. She would do something amazing. She would do something shocking. She would do something fitting. She would do something that nobody had ever done.
She would pull a prank on the Fire Lord.
This train of thought seemed somehow familiar. But this time, she really did have a prank in mind.
She wasn't sure if this counted, but, by golly, wasn't she the daughter of Fire Lord Azulan (now passed), sister of Fire Lord Ozai and the Dragon of the West Iroh, the aunt of the infamous former Prince Zuko and the next in line for the throne, Princess Azula, the bane of every General in the Fire Nation who had met her (except for that one guy, the one whose name she couldn't remember, who had asked her if she was alright while she was annoying Vahe)?
Yes, she was. And if she said that this was a prank, then it was too a prank!
Only at the moment, she couldn't really remember what the prank was. So she went up to her room and thought.
She thought and thought. She thought many thoughts. She thought of pranks. She spelled out the word pranks. P-R-A-N-K-S.
The word pranks began with the letter P. What else started with P? Post, as in letters, which she hadn't gotten from Iroh in some time. People, as in the ones who would witness her pranks. Pirates, which were cool, just like her. Pie, which rhymed with die, which was what she'd do when Ozai caught her pranking him. With whatever prank she had thought of.
Pie, which started with a P, just like Pirates, People, Post, and Pranks, and rhymed with Die, also rhymed with Fly. Lara wished she could fly. Flying sounded fun. Fun and Flying both started with an F. Just like Food, which she liked as much as Pranks. And Foolish, which Ozai thought everyone was.
Foolish, which started with an F just like Food, Fun, Fly, which rhymed with Die, which rhymed with Pie, which started with a P, just like Pirates, People, Post and Pranks, started with an F just like Fwap. Fwap was oni… ona… that thing that meant it was a word that meant a sound. It had a W in it. Like Winter.
Lara liked Winter. In the winter, there was snow, which had a W in it just like Winter did. W with an O in front of it spelled OW. Which was what people said after annoying Ozai. Except for Lara. Ozai thought it would look bad to kill his sister. He hadn't even killed Zuko, after he had done something Bad. Lara had only done something bad.
Bad was a short word. It only had three letters. Like You. You started with a Y. Why ended in a Y, but was pronounced with just Y. Y was a cool letter. It was right before Z.
But Y was cooler, since Ozai had a Z in his name.
Y. Yams, Yuck, Yow, You, You'll, Yoda…
Almost everything she'd thought of so far somehow related to the unknown prank. Yoda did, too. Somehow.
Yoda.. Youda… You do… You go… Yo go… Yoga! That was her prank. Yoga.
Because Yoga sounded like Yoda, which started with a Y just like You'll, You, Youch, Yow, Yuck, Yams, and You, which had three letters like bad, which is what Lara was, and what made Ozai want to make her go OW, which had a W in it, like Snow and Winter, and Fwap, which started with an F, just like Foolish, Food, Fun and Fly, which rhymed with Die, which rhymed with Pie, which started with a P, like Pirates, People, Post and Pranks.
Since her train of thought started with Pranks and ended with Yoga, the prank had to involve yoga somehow. See? Perfectly logical.
Anyhow, by the time Lara had remembered her prank, it was nighttime again. So she decided to put her extreme patience to work and wait until morning for the prank.
Lara probably wouldn't have managed that, except she fell asleep. So she did. Manage it, I mean.
And then next morning, she spent all morning carefully practicing a suitably contrite, calm, and woeful expression, without laughing. Except the time she took to eat. She ate yams. And said yuck. Even though she liked yams.
Anyway, in the afternoon, she sought out Ozai. According to the random General who she wasn't the bane of (she'd have to work on that) the Fire Lord was in his room.
Lara knocked on Ozai's door quietly, getting a chance to use the expression she had practiced all morning.
"What?" a voice demanded from inside. From the fact that the guards were asleep, Lara assumed that it was Ozai. Also, since he was her brother and she'd known him all of her life, she recognized the voice.
"Ozai?" called Lara. "Can I talk to you?"
There was a pause, before Ozai finally grumbled "Come in."
Lara entered. Ozai was sitting at his desk, reading something that was either reports from the warfront, or the collection of fairy tales that Zuko, Iroh, and Lara had given to him for his birthday years ago. Knowing her brother, Lara decided not to ask.
"What?" Ozai asked again.
Lara checked mentally to make sure that her face was suitably contrite, calm, and woeful before answering. "Ozai, I know we've had our differences lately. Well, for a very long time. Years, even. Okay, all of my life. And I think that I've figured out why."
"Why is that?" asked the Fire Lord. Whether he was genuinely interested, or just wanted to get rid of her, Lara would never know.
"Well, I'm an annoying person. I do better with people like Iroh, who have a sense of humor."
"The Fire Lord doesn't need a sense of humor."
"Yes, but you're too tense! You should take yoga."
"What's yoga?" Lara's brother asked in confusion.
"I'll show you!" Without another word, Lara grabbed onto Ozai's arm, and dragged him out of the room. The poor Fire Lord was too confused to protest.
Thirty minutes later:
"Class, we have some very special guests today," the yoga instructor told her students. "Joining us in this center for peace and harmony are Fire Lord Ozai, and his sister, Lady Lara."
Ozai looked confused. A center for peace and harmony in the Fire Nation? Since when?
"Now, we will begin our class with our daily meditation. Everyone, lie back and close your eyes."
Even more perplexed than he had been before, Ozai found himself tugged down by Lara.
"Imagine you are floating on a lake. The sun is shining. All is peace and harmony. The elements are quietly co-existing as never before. You are calm and relaxed…"
Lara flinched, expecting their usual interaction after Ozai discovered a prank.
"LARA!"
"What?"
But it never came. Ozai, unbelievably, seemed to be enjoying himself.
Note: I'm not sure if all yoga classes are like that, but that's what the one I took was like. And yes, they did actually tell us to imagine a lake with the elements quietly co-existing. And two girls couldn't do it because they were scared of lakes, so their mom told them to imagine a swimming pool instead. I don't know why they were scared of lakes, not water, just lakes, but they were. Anywho, no offense meant to any yoga-people, that's just my personal experience.