Lol, I got this idea from a friend (I guess you could call him that), I have the original version, where it wasn't HP-itized. Wow.
I OWN NOTHING. WHOOT
STRANDED IN THE BATHTUB FOR 40 DAYS
It was a dark and stormy night……….. When AHHKK!
That started wrong. What really happened was I got locked in my bathroom. And there were no towels. AND the toilet over flowed. What was I supposed to do?
So I was stuck in the bathtub. I had some paper & a pen, so I kept a captain's log. I didn't have my wand, otherwise I could of gotten out of there. And no one would touch my wand!
Day 1
Stuck in the bathtub! How can this happen?
Day 2
Death Eaters pounding on the door saying "Let me in!"
Day 3
Fire department called to try to rescue me.
Day 4
Fire department failed. Sewage got on their boots. I laughed.
Day 5
HUNGRY!
Day 6
Pizza thrown through window
Day 7
Now I am thirsty.
Day 8
I was forced to drink the water. Eww!
Day 9
Pancakes flew today.
Day 10
Why did this happen to me?
Day 11
Must draw a new bath. Water cold and murky.
Day 12
Fire department called again.
Day 13
They failed.
Day 14
Need to go to the bathroom!
Day 15
Went out of the tub onto the floor. The toilet already overflowed.
Day 16
Death Eaters trying to take hinges off the door.
Day 17
They failed.
Day 18
Someone put gum in the hinges, that's why it wouldn't open!
Day 18
More than 2 weeks of evil missed.
Day 19
Hooray!
Day 20
Cake flew yesterday.
Day 21
Someone threw a plastic toy in here!
Day 22
It was inedible.
Day 23
Others have taken to taunting me.
Day 24
They were in my room. They threw my Suggly-Wuggly Teddy Bear in here!
Day 25
At least there's some company.
Day 26
This would make for a really lame game show.
Day 27
Papers thrown in
Day 28
I threw them into the toilet.
Day 29
A cereal box thrown in.
Day 30
Need to draw more water.
Day 31
Others forced to "go" outside.
Day 32
Another attempt to free me, via police. What could they do? I why did they think that they would help a dark wizard?
Day 33
Yes, they failed.
Day 34
Maybe I could publish this "log"
Day 35
Sleeping hard to resist.
Day 36
Used same method as last time.
Day 37
Drained the tub to sleep again.
Day 38
Death Eaters tried to open door
Day 39
Wormtail tried. Both failed. I don't understand why they don't REMOVE THE STINKING GUM! It must be wedged in well.
Day 40
Nagini opened the door! She amazingly just used the key and unlocked me.
So that's what happened. I don't want to go near that bathtub AGAIN. Not that I would need to. I am squeaky clean! Isn't that right Snuggly-Wuggly?
Hah? Funny? Yes, no, or Yes?
Aneis