Chapter Seven

Sleep seemed to be eluding him again that night, so Captain Archer decided to take Porthos for another run around the corridors. He really had to get his mind refocused on his job, Enterprise was nearly ready to set out once more on another two year mission of exploration and it wouldn't look good for the captain to have a problem of not being able to look his Chief Engineer in the eye or even talk civilly to him. Coming up to the Mess Hall doors, he decided he might as well stop by for a drink and a quick bite. Maybe even give Porthos some cheese, if there was any left. As he walked through and up to the drinks dispenser and food cabinet, he spied Phlox sitting in the far corner tucking into some food.

"Missed dinner?" Archer asked, deciding it wouldn't look right to ignore him.

"No, I find this quiet period of the night excellent for contemplation over problems regarding my work," Phlox replied as Captain Archer came to sit down next to him. "You?"

"Couldn't sleep. I have a lot on my mind."

Phlox decided to press on, since Archer seemed reluctant to talk about what was bothering him, "Did you enjoy your mother's visit?"

"It was full of surprises," replied Archer quietly as he tucked into his sandwich.

"Good ones I hope?"

"I wouldn't exactly say that."

"Would you care to talk about it? I am discreet and would keep it strictly confidential," asked Phlox.

"I wouldn't exactly say it falls under medical matters," replied Archer, pushing his plate away to indicate it was time to leave.

"As I've had reports that you're problem is starting to bother you to the point that it is starting to affect your relationship with others, I would definitely say it falls under physcological matters" Phlox replied in a serious tone, indicating that this time he wasn't going to let the captains odd behavior carry on. "A subject in which I hold numerous degrees in."

Seeing that Phlox was not going to let the subject drop, Archer decided to confide his problems. "What would you do if you just found out a close friend was inadvertently responsible for a lot of heartache you suffered in the past?"

"Is this close friend a colleague …?" asked Phlox, suspecting who Archer was referring to.

"Yes."

"Does he know?" asked Phlox.

"No, he doesn't," replied Archer, clued into the fact that Phlox knew who he was referring to. Deciding that he might as well let it all out, he carried on. "I found out his mom had an affair with my dad. An affair that may have been the cause for my mom miscarrying my brother and then later, resulting in them splitting up."

"I see, that's quite a lot for you to find out, years after the event," said Phlox.

"Oh that's not the half of it," replied Archer. "Apparently the lady in question had a baby not long after, whose dates and father was of … questionable origin."

"Arrhhh … I see your dilemma," said Phlox. "Well that answers my quandary of how Commander Tucker got a genetic disease, which no one else in his family has suffered from," he thought.

"Do you blame your … colleague for his mom and your father's actions?"

"I wouldn't say blame as I don't know the circumstance that led up to it. I know that things were pretty bad between mom and dad, so their breaking up may have happened even if she hadn't gotten involved," said Archer, trying to put into perspective what he had been wrestling over? "It was more of a shock and disappointment at finding the perceptions of my father who I've worshiped all these years have been totally shattered."

"Do you think you're projecting this disappointment onto your colleague?"

"Kind of. I can't look at him without picturing what the two of them may have been like and how upsetting it would have been for my mom."

"Do you think he would be just as upset if he knew?

"Considering how he's always followed such a high moral code, I would think he'd be mortified," replied Archer. "But that's what makes me so angry, how she can enforce it on others yet not follow the same standards herself."

"Could it be a kind of atonement for the guilt she may feel at her actions?"

"Possibly," replied Archer, thinking hard over what Phlox had said. "Mom did say that she disappeared after the news of her miscarriage came out."

"So the young lady may not have known about your mother or the baby she lost."

"No … but that doesn't excuse what they did," replied Archer sternly.

"No it doesn't," answered Phlox, "but it obviously bothered her enough to stop the affair and get out of your father's life. Did your dad try and sort things out with your mother or did he desert you both?"

"No, they did try to put it behind them but they divorced when I was ten."

"How did he act after the divorce?"

"He made sure we had plenty of special days together."

"Which again could be atonement for the guilt he felt for the results of his actions," replied Phlox.

"So you're saying that projecting my disappointment and anger onto Trip is stupid considering how both my dad and his mom suffered equally with their guilt over what they'd done," said Archer.

"Maybe not in those words," replied Phlox softly.

"What about Trip?" asked Archer. "This changes everything between us."

"Does it?" answered Phlox. When Archer raised his eyebrows in question, Phlox went on, "Haven't you always regarded Commander Tucker as the 'baby brother' you never had?"

"I suppose so …"

"So other than validating what you've always felt towards him, what else does it change in regards to your friendship?"

"Not a lot, I suppose," replied Archer softly, deep in thought over what Phlox had said.

Phlox smiled, patting Archer's hand as he slowly stood up. "Goodnight, Captain. I'll leave you to think over what we've just discussed."

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