Will looked around at the silent circle. He cleared his throat, then said, "Well, um, who would like to start?"
The silence stretched on for awhile until Gibbs sighed.
"Well, I guess I will," he started "I'm Joshamee Gibbs, and my obsession is-"
But he didn't get to finish his sentence, because Bootstrap Bill had leapt out of his seat and started to run around, yodeling. He banged into Gibbs' chair, and fell on his rear end.
"Um, I guess he wants to start," Will said, casting a nervous glance at this father.
Bootstrap Bill got up, spun around three times, and sat back down again. "Yes, I would like to start," he said calmly. "My name is William Turner, but everyone just calls me Bootstrap, or Bootstrap Bill. My secret obsession is- TO ARMS, MY CALCIFEROUS PENCILS! TO ARMS!"
With that, he jumped back up and galloped around, before crashing into a wall and sitting down. Jack exchanged an amused glance with Will, and then looked back at Bootstrap, raising an eyebrow.
Bootstrap giggled. "Oh, what a rush! Like I was saying, my secret obsession is running around and crashing into things while screaming nonsensical phrases."
He smiled brightly, but then his smile vanished and he stood up. He then proceeded to dash wildly about the room.
"BITE MY BUTT, CONGO SNAKE!" he screeched as he collided with a floor lamp.
"Er, right then. Can anyone offer a solution?"
Ragetti raised his hand, waving it around. "Oh, oh! Oi, over 'ere! Pick me! I've gots an idea!"
Will nodded at Ragetti. "Well, share it, then."
"I say, we strap a cannon to ol' Bootstraps' bootstraps, and-"
"THE GREAT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE ORDERS YOU TO CEASE BEING SUCH A FUDDY-DUDDY!" Bootstrap caterwauled, followed by a loud thump.
"Apparently he doesn't like that idea. Anyone else?" Will said.
"I know what we can do!" Jack announced, a sly grin on his face. Jack figured that if he had to be here, he might as well make some fun out of it. "I say, we tie 'is bootstraps together, an' then we give 'im a good, hard push, right into our young Elizabeth Swann, 'ere."
Skeptical murmurs met Jack's statement, along with Elizabeth's cries of outrage, but Will shrugged and said, "It never hurts to try."
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
So it was that our good old friend Bootstrap Bill found himself in the middle of a Secret Obsession Support Group circle, with his bootstraps knotted together, and facing a grumpy looking Elizabeth.
Jack stood behind Bootstrap, that same sly grin still on his face. Since he was the one who had thought up this idea, he had received the honor of shoving Bootstrap.
"Ready, old mate?" he murmured into Bootstrap's ear.
Without waiting for an answer, Jack shoved Bootstrap as hard as he could. As he watched Bootstrap tip forward, Jack thought happy, vengeful thoughts.
That's what you get fer dragging me 'ere, you prissy little-
But his thoughts were interrupted by a hoarse cry from Bootstrap Bill:
"ZANY ZEBRA ZOINKA ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Needless to say, Jack's plan didn't work.