Chapter 30
Leonard was back at work in the university after spending almost a week with Penny and Sarah. They were having lunch in the cafeteria when Raj's phone beeped. He scrolled on the screen and was amazed at what he saw.
"Oh my god dude….look at this." Raj said showing his phone to Howard.
Howard smiled. "Well, that's conclusive proof that aliens live among us!" he said.
"What is it?" Leonard asked while Sheldon quietly eats his food.
"Well...Howard and I put Sheldon's vital information on this dating app and it spewed out Amy Farrah Fowler as a compatible match!" Raj said as Sheldon looked at him.
"Gentlemen as much as I want to engage in this conversation, but the notion of an app determining my compatibility with a member of the opposite sex is nothing more than complete hocum." Sheldon said.
"You're wrong Sheldon, we answered every question as you would have answered it, and this dating app is pretty accurate." Howard said.
"And who is this Amy Farrah Fowler?" Leonard asked.
Raj looked at his phone. "Well….she's a neurobiologist….she's an only child….she hates dirty socks…" Raj said while reading on his phone.
"Oh I hate dirty socks…" Sheldon said.
"Come on Sheldon….where is the scientist in you? How can you disprove this dating app's accuracy if you won't give it a try?" Howard said.
Raj was suddenly surprised. "Oh my god...she sent 'us' I mean 'you' a message! She wants to meet tomorrow at a nearby coffee shop." Raj said.
"Absolutely not!" Sheldon said.
"Why not?" Leonard said.
"I don't drink coffee." Sheldon said.
"Then drink something else….hot chocolate or a glass of milk…" Howard said.
"Assuming that I meet her, what am I supposed to do then? I'm telling you, I don't approve of hand holding or meaningless chit-chat." said Sheldon.
"You just talk to her." Leonard said.
"About what?" asked Sheldon.
"Talk about science….physics….neurobiology!" Raj said.
"I don't like neurobiology." said Sheldon.
"Why not?" Howard laughed.
"Biology is the study of yucky, squishy things. I don't like yucky, squishy things." Sheldon said.
"Fine, just talk about science." Howard said.
"Come on Sheldon, if we're wrong, you can rub it in our faces….I know you'll love that." Leonard said.
"How about this, next comic book night we'll pay for your regular comic books at Stuart's store." Howard said while Leonard and Raj nodded in agreement.
Sheldon thought for a while. "Hmmm, a bribe and a chance to disprove a dating app designed to prey upon the weak and gullible. Okay I'll do it." Sheldon said.
"Great! Just remember, you must go on a date with her." Leonard said.
"I guess I can go out on one date." said Sheldon.
"No, no, no Sheldon! How can you draw up a conclusion if you only have a small sample size? You need to go on multiple dates with her to determine if you're compatible or not." Howard said.
"And how many would that be?" asked Sheldon.
"Let's say….at least ten dates." Raj said.
"I may not have thought this through." Sheldon said.
Leonard sensed that Sheldon might back out. "Okay Sheldon, let's just start with one date and see where it goes alright?" he said trying to distract him.
Sheldon nodded. "Alright, but you gentlemen will drive me there." he said pointing at Howard and Raj.
"No problem Sheldon." Howard said smiling at Leonard and Raj.
After a few days, The whole gang were at Leonard's place having dinner when Sheldon's phone beeped. He opened it and was puzzled by what he read.
"Leonard, what does this mean?" Sheldon asked while showing him his phone.
Leonard smiled at him. "Well Sheldon, it means she wants to go out with you again on a second date." Leonard said.
"But I don't want a second date." Sheldon said.
"Then tell her you don't want to see her again." Leonard said. Penny and Bernadette then decided to butt in.
"Wait a minute….are you saying that Sheldon has a date?" Penny asked.
"Who is it?" Bernadette asked.
"Yes….Sheldon has a girlfriend." Howard said.
"Alright let's make something clear, her name is Amy Farrah Fowler and yes she is a girl and she is my friend but no….she is not my girlfriend." Sheldon said.
"Oh my god!….Amy Farrah Fowler!….how did this happen?" Penny giggled.
"Raj and I put Sheldon's information on a dating app and it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler!" Howard said.
"Sheldon when are you going to introduce her to us?" Bernadette asked.
"I'm not…..I'm going to tell her that I'm not interested in a romantic relationship." he said as he started to type on his phone. Leonard quickly covered the phone with his hand.
"Wait, how can you say you're not compatible with Amy if you only had one date? She clearly likes you Sheldon, otherwise she wouldn't have asked you to meet with her again." Leonard said.
"He's right Sheldon." Bernadette said.
Raj leaned over Howard and whispered. Howard nodded. "Did you enjoy talking to her?" Howard asked.
"I guess. She's smart and doesn't really care for social convention. She also said that she has to go to at least one date a year as per agreement with her mother." Sheldon said as they started to clean up their food containers.
"So it's settled then, Sheldon will go on a second date with Amy Farrah Fowler….or what we affectionately call...Shamy!" Leonard announced.
Penny, Bernadette and Sarah laughed. "Awww….I love the Shamy!" Penny said.
"Please Penny….I don't appreciate juvenile attempts in combining our names as though we were a couple….we're only friends." Sheldon said.
Penny sighed. "Fine Sheldon and it's alright to be friends first." Penny said.
Sarah then decided to butt in. "Penny's right uncle Sheldon. Look at her and my daddy….they were friends before then Penny became my daddy's girlfriend and now they love each other!" Sarah said innocently.
Leonard and Penny was shocked and didn't know how to react to the child's comment. The others looked at the couple.
Leonard faced his daughter. "Where did you learn that?" he asked Sarah while Penny covered her face with her hands.
"I heard you in the car daddy." Sarah added. "I'm sorry." said the child.
Leonard hugged his daughter. "No honey, don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong." he kissed her cheek "now why don't you brush your teeth so I could put you to bed." he said. Sarah nodded and walked to the bathroom. Leonard then stood up and faced Penny who was still covering her face. "Hey….are you alright?" he asked her. Penny didn't say anything and quickly walked towards the door to go back to her apartment. Leonard sighed and hung his head as he went to Sarah's bedroom to tuck her in. Once Sarah was asleep, he went back to the living room where the guys are sitting, watching TV. "Can you guys stay here for a while, I'll just go over to Penny's place." he said.
"Sure Leonard." Bernadette said.
Leonard knocked on Penny's door. She opened it and welcomed him in. They looked at each other and didn't say anything until Leonard went to her and hugged her tight. Penny wrapped her arms around him and began to cry.
"It's alright honey." Leonard said trying to console her.
"I'm so embarrassed." Penny said.
"What do you want to do now?" Leonard said.
"I don't know." said Penny.
"Okay, from now on we'll be careful at what we say in front of my daughter. Sometimes we forget how smart she is and don't realize that she's still a child." Leonard said.
Penny nodded. "Okay." she said wiping her tears.
"Don't cry….it's gonna be alright." he said smiling at her.
"I love you so much honey!" Penny said kissing his lips.
"I love you too." he said kissing her back. "Let's go back and talk to them so this won't happen again." he said.
Penny nodded. "Okay." she said. Leonard held her hand as they went back to his apartment where Bernadette and the guys are sitting.
"Penny are you alright?" Bernadette asked.
"I'm fine Bernie." Penny said as they sat down.
"Guys can we agree on something? From now on, no more talk about grown up stuff like girlfriends, boyfriends, relationships, dating or any other inappropriate subject while my daughter is around alright?" said Leonard.
The rest of them nodded. "Understood Leonard." Howard said.
"Thank you….my daughter may be smart but let's not forget that she's still a child and doesn't quite understand grown-up stuff. Not to mention my mom would likely kill me if she hears about this." said Leonard.
"We understand Leonard….we'll just talk about other stuff when we're here." Bernadette said.
"Thank you." said Leonard as he held Penny's hand.
"Well I guess we better get going." Howard said as they stood up and went to the door.
The couple went with them. "Take care you guys!" Penny said as she closed the door. She turned and faced Leonard. "Oh my god honey!….I thought I was gonna die." she said while hugging him.
"It's gonna alright honey." he continued. "Now why don't we sneak around and get busy?" he teased her.
Penny looked at him. "Ugh….you're unbelievable!" she said.
Leonard pulled her to his bedroom. "We'll be quiet." he said as Penny followed him.
They were done making love after an hour and laid on the bed hugging each other.
"Honey, are we still going to that private school with Sarah tomorrow?" Penny asked.
"Yes….do you have work tomorrow?" he asked.
"No….I swapped my day off with Valerie." said Penny.
Leonard kissed her hair. "Thank you honey." he said while running his fingers on her shoulder.
"What type of test do you think they'll give her?" she asked.
"I'm not sure. Maybe just a standard test." said Leonard. "Why do you ask?" he asked.
"Nothing. I just hope she does well." said Penny.
"I wouldn't worry about it." he said. "How many five year old kids do you know who understands algebra?" he asked.
"None. But still." she said.
"Relax. You sound like you're the one taking the test." Leonard laughed. "Now let's get some sleep." he said kissing her goodnight.
Penny kissed him back. "Goodnight honey." she said.