Chapter Thirteen
Trip didn't know how long he stood at his window, hell did it even matter when you've just found out your whole life was a sham. It wasn't the fact that finding out his 'dad' wasn't his natural father that was making him upset. It was more that they'd kept this from him all these years and that they hadn't trusted him enough to tell him the truth. That's what hurt. He loved his dad, genetics aside, and nothing was going to change that. He just wished they had been honest with him from the start.
A huge rumble in his stomach distracted him from his pondering. Realizing he hadn't eaten anything for ages, Trip decided to go and grab a bite to eat in the Mess Hall. It was quiet, so he doubted that he'd be disturbed too much. He really needed to go and talk more with his Dad. Hopefully he'd be able to think things through a bit more over a glass of milk and some cookies.
Entering the Mess Hall though, Trip spied Doctor Phlox sitting at a table near a window.
"You look troubled," said Phlox as Trip grabbed a plate of cookies and a glass of warm milk. "Would you like to talk about it? It might help?"
"Lets just say, don't ever wish for anything," replied Trip, sitting down. "It might just come back and bite ya on the ass."
Phlox looked at him curiously, as if he didn't understand the expression.
"Remember when I was saying that it feels like ma family were being evasive and keeping a huge secret from me? Well ma Dad just came onboard and gave me some answers. Boy, I wish I could put that certain genie back in its little bottle."
"I take it the answers were not what you were expecting?" asked Phlox.
"Ya can say that again," replied Trip. "Not only did ma Mom decide to keep secret the fact that she used to work for Starfleet designing the Warp Five complex, she also decided to hide from me a small thing about having an affair with a married man who worked there and getting herself knocked up with me."
"I can understand her reluctance to confide in you in those matters as it could have made things difficult when you decided to undertake a career in Starfleet yourself," sympathized Phlox.
"I suppose," sighed Trip. "It just feels like my whole life has been a lie."
"You mean the fact that your father isn't your real dad?" asked Phlox.
"Yes!" exclaimed Trip. "That, and the notion that they didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth all these years."
"I don't think it boils down to trust, Commander," said Phlox.
"If not trust, then what?" asked Trip.
"Maybe they felt like they were protecting you," answered Phlox, causing Trip to roll his eyes. "Did you ever feel that your father wasn't your real Dad? Did he ever make you feel that you were different, love you any less than your brother and sister?"
"No."
"So maybe they were protecting you from the hurt you're feeling now, having found out the truth," explained Phlox.
"But that's prolonging a lie."
"Is it? Would knowing the truth any earlier have made the burden or hurt any less?" said Phlox, thinking back to his experience with Sim. "Growing up is hard enough without having such a huge burden or hurt like you've just experienced, thrust upon a young pair of shoulders," explained Phlox softly, as he remembered how badly young Sim had coped after he and Captain Archer had explained his fate to him at the tender age of seven.
Trip glanced at Phlox's solemn look as he slowly sipped his milk. He had no idea who Phlox was referring to, but it was obviously raw in regards to the emotions that flickered across Phlox's face.
"I believe your parents thought they were making the best decision possible when they kept this from you," reasoned Phlox. "I know this is a shock now, but can you imagine what it may have been like at an age when your surging hormones would have perpetuated any difference that may have existed between you and your siblings. Only now are you mature enough to understand the reasoning behind their original decision, whether you agree with it or not. Don't hold it against them," said Phlox, standing up so he could return to Sickbay, "especially now when you are going to need your family more than ever, hmmmm?"
"I won't," said Trip, softly as Phlox walked out leaving him to ponder everything that had happened during the last couple of hours.
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