Must... get... short... stories... out... of... the... way...
oOo
"What? I refuse to be 'Mark Landers!' What kind of retarded name is THAT?"
"That's your role's name, Kojiro," growled the play director. "Live with it."
Fuming, Kojiro stomped over to his friends, who had recieved their parts as well.
"Hi-hi-hi-Hyuga," said Ryou, waving. "Which part did you get?" (1)
"Mark Landers the blacksmith," grumbled Kojiro, glaring at Ryou. "What's with the hi-hi-hi thing?"
Ryou shrugged. "I felt like it. It's a kind of alliteration, I guess."
"What roles did you guys get?" asked Kojiro, turning to the rest of the crew.
"I got Ben Becker the stable lad," replied Taro, holding out his script.
"I'm Bruce Harper the stable owner," said Ryou,"and I get to yell 'Bend it like Becker' in Act 4."
"Ed Warner the delivery boy," said Ken, frowning.
"Ha! You got the delivery boy part! Ed Edd n Eddy!" laughed Genzou.
Everyone stared at Genzou.
"...what?"
"So what's your part, Genzou-kun?" asked Taro nicely like Taro always does.
"Oh, um, I haven't gotten my part yet..." lied Genzou.
"Don't be stupid," said Kojiro. "Mark Landers' part was the last to be handed out. You already got yours."
"I... have to go to the bathroom now...?" Genzou tried again.
"Stop procrasinating!" said Ryou angrily, pointing an accusing finger at Genzou.
"Woah, you actually know what procasinate means?" asked Ken, slightly surprised.
"Yes! It's when you're always saying 'I'll do this later!' or stall for time because you really don't want to do something!" said Ryou. "That's beside the point, though."
"Ryou's right. What part did you get, Genzou?" interjected Taro, drawing everyone's attention back to Genzou.
Genzou sighed.
"I got Thomas Price the pedophilic idiot working at Horseshoes-R-Us..."
Everyone was silent.
"No wonder you didn't want to tell us," said Ken finally.
"...however, I'm only the back-up actor," continued Genzou. "Other than that, I'm props manager."
All of them sighed in relief.
"You know," said Ryou, "this is such a coincidence."
"What is?" asked Kojiro.
"Well, you know how Hajime's always been hiding up in trees or in ditches this past week?"
"Yeah," said Genzou.
"Well, I found an article in a magazine," said Ryou. "I think I still have it in my bag, wait a sec."
Ryou retrieved his magazine from his bag. When he returned, he had the magazine opened to a page that had slots missing from it. Obviously, someone had been cutting magazines.
"Someone had been cutting magazines," noted Taro, indicating the slots missing from it.
"That would be me," answered Ryou.
"Why?" asked Kojiro, taking the magazine from Ryou. "Where those parts inappropriate?"
"..."
"Well?" asked Ken.
"In ways," was all Ryou said, thinking back to what Tsubasa had said.
Genzou raised an eyebrow, but shrugged it off and read the magazine over Kojiro's shoulder. Taro and Ken followed Genzou's lead, crowding around Kojiro's backside so they won't have to read upside down. It was a table. In the first column, there were their Japanese names in Sanji. In the second column were their names in Italian.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I hate this play," announced Kojiro randomly.
"Don't we all, Kojiro, don't we all..." muttered Ken darkly. "Whoever wrote this was a stalker. Or else, why would they write it with the EXACT NAMES and give us those parts?"
Taro was hyperventilating.
"But... but... I'm MISAKI Taro! Not Ben Becker! That's not right! No no no no no! AHHH!" he... hyperventilated.
"Calm down, Taro," said Genzou darkly. "At least you're not given the same name as a gay pedophile working at a non-existent store in a play..."
"But I'm given the same name as a gay stable lad in a play!" wailed Taro in a very OOC manner.
"Ben Becker isn't even gay in this play," said Ken.
"Oh, right," said Taro, more IC now.
Kojiro threw the magazine on the ground and rolled up his sleeves, but then realized his sleeves were already rolled up so he just looked really silly. However, he managed to not completely embarrass himself and just pretended to rub his shoulder or something.
"Who. wrote. this. play?" he accentuated angrily.
The other four pointed instantly to a geeky boy with brown hair in a nerdy mushroom cut and thick swirly glasses remiscint of Kagemori in KageMamo in the corner giggling at a soccer magazine.
The same monthly soccer magazine Ryou had.
The same issue from the same month that Ryou had.
The same page Ryou had it opened at.
The same -okay, you get the point.
The following scene has been cut out to prevent screams, gore, and raised ratings. To put what happened simply, that geek won't be able to walk/pick up things/get over a major headache for a few months, and when he stands back up, he'll be walking funny. Very funny.
For the second time that week, Bruce regretted telling people their Italian names.
oOo
This time I'm really finished.
oOo
(1) Hi-hi-hi-Hyuga
This is something my friend and I made up. It was originally meant for the Hyuuga Clan from the series, NARUTO, but since Kojiro's last name is Hyuuga with one less 'u' but with the same pronouciation, I used it here as well.