Title: Last Minute Shopping
Disclaimer: General Hospital does not belong to me. Doi.
Pairings: Jason x Sam, mentions of Sonny x Carly and Alexis x Ric
Author Notes: I'm sorry, but after watching that sad episode with Elizabeth and Jason, and Sam and Ric, I needed some good old fashioned JaSam. Takes place long before the breakup.
So, pretend this takes place sometime before Sonny and Emily are dating, Reese isn't here, Carly hasn't been committed, she and Sonny are still married, and everything between Jason and Sam was just fine. A girl can have her delusions.
Also, I don't know if General Hospital actually has Jason's birthday, and I didn't want to make it up or anything, so I decided not to mention the date at all.
Last Minute Shopping
The thing about Carly, was simply that she didn't like a lot of people. And she didn't like Sam a lot more than she didn't like other people. Which to Sam, was almost fine, because Carly wasn't her favorite person either. In a weird way, they even had a friendship of sorts.
"Jason!" shouted the brunette as she marched into the penthouse, blatantly ignoring the fact that her best friend had been making out with his fiance. "I need your help!"
Or not.
Sam grumbled as she tried to fix her shirt. "So what else is new? I'll be upstairs," She announced to air, as Jason was already listening to Carly. "If he wasn't so good in bed I would've dumped him a long time ago," she grumbled as she walked up. Which of course, was a blatant lie. Sam didn't love a lot of people like she loved Jason.
Which was exactly why she chose to eavesdrop on their conversation. It was only love when you were willing to eavesdrop on their conversations. Or so she heard at least.
"...really not a big deal..."
"...tomorrow's your birthday..."
"...take a few hours off..."
"...My dad...Sonny...at...throats..."
Oh, so it wasn't much actually. Carly seemed to be having her usual problems with her father and Sonny, and Jason was going to take some time off his birthday to help her, which was tomorrow and-
Wait. What was that part about Jason's birthday?
"I-I-I'M FREAKING OUT OKAY!" Sam shook her arms as she walked around in a frenzy. "I mean, I've been with Jason since forever and I just happen to FORGET HIS BIRTHDAY? How horrible AM I?"
"It's okay Sam," soothed Emily, who even though wasn't Sam's best friend, was one of the few people she could talk to now. "You still have a lot of time, and Jason's surprise birthday party -which I'm pretty sure he knows about- isn't until tomorrow."
Sam sighed. "You know what, you're right." She stood up. "I'm going to go the stores and buy Jason a wonderful birthday present." She sat back down. "First though, tell me what you would buy a mob boss's right hand man."
Emily shrugged. "For his last birthdays I always got him a new leather jacket or a gun. Of course, you being his fiance and all might just have to put in a little bit more effort."
Courtney said she'd whisked him away to a romantic getaway after each party. Elizabeth said she would have probably given him some extra good sex (though she hastened to assure Sam that she'd only have done it if they were still together and the only person Elizabeth was offering such a gift to was Lucky, who had idea how lucky he was). Carly had told her to get the hell out.
"But Carly!" protested Sam. "All I'm asking for is one little answer! Sonny, please control your wife!"
"No Sonny! Don't listen to her!" yelled Carly. "Come here and protect your wife!"
"Sonny, I almost delivered one of your children!" shrieked Sam. "If you don't get up from that couch and protect me I will make sure you never have any children AGAIN!"
"SHUT UP! Sonny, if you don't get up then I will castrate you!"
The said mob boss decided that in order to protect his manhood from both women, he would get up from the couch, as ordered by Sam and Carly-
"HEY! GET BACK HERE!"
-And run out the door, hopefully coming back in time for dinner and to a calmed down wife.
After visiting Courtney, Elizabeth, and Carly, Sam still had no idea what to get her soon-to-be husband. She also had no idea how to cover the split lip that Carly had given her.
Though she had never been able to go to college and complete her education, Sam was still a pretty smart girl who completely understood 'the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach.' She could still remember all the times her spaghetti had made Jason jump on her after dinner, and how he always disappeared right after lunch when she made half-burnt sandwiches.
"So you're going to get your boyfriend chocolates?" The gay boy behind the register looked incredulous as Sam told him what she wanted, and why she wanted it. "Miss, at the risk of getting fired, I would totally recommend that you do not buy chocolates for this Jason guy. Seriously."
"Why not?" asked Sam, offended.
Gay Boy (he had recieved said title because Sam didn't know his real name, and he was quite flamboyant) rolled his eyes. "Giving a girl chocolates is just fine, but a guy? No. Way. You'll make him feel like a sissy, a wimp! Is that what you want your fiance to feel like?"
"Well no, but-"
"Then you need to get the guy something that makes him feel mucho macho. Something that every time he looks at, he'll remember it with good memories. You can't do that with chocolate." Gay Boy's earring swung as he nodded his head vigorously.
Grudgingly, Sam silently admitted that she wasn't really all that smart when it came to the phrase 'the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach' and decided she'd stick to her spaghetti and sandwiches.
"So what do you think I should buy for Jason then?"
Gay Boy winked. "Underwear."
"Look, I'm really sorry," Sam tried to apologize as she was quite literally thrown out of the men's underwear department store. "But how was I supposed to know that the girl at the register wasn't a girl at all, and that the man thongs were well, man thongs? I mean, they looked like guy scarves to me. Then again, I don't know if there is such a thing as a guy scarf. Do you think my fiance would like one?"
In the end, Sam had decided on cologne. Cologne was fine, cologne was great, and as long as she explained that she didn't think Jason smelled bad, he'd probably like it a lot. Perhaps if she picked a particularly sexy scent that she'd be able to smell it all over him in bed, it would make him very-
"Miss?"
"Huh? Uh, yes," she coughed, turning back to the salesgirl. "You were saying?"
The other girl gave her an annoyed look. "I was asking if you wanted to try this scent and see if you wanted to buy it for your significant other."
Sam nodded a yes, then quickly grimaced as the scent quickly filled her nostrils. Ugh, she wanted Jason to smell sexy, not like seaweed. "Don't you have anything that smells better?"
She instantly regretted her words when she saw the expression on the salesgirl. Dating someone from the mob and she could still be scared out of her wits by her own species. Jason would be so proud.
Still, Sam McCall held her ground. Bring it on bitch.
Jason crossed his arms as he observed the petite girl. "Sam, are you okay?" He asked dubiously. Sam walked into the penthouse with her eyes closed, almost looking like she sleepwalked her way. Jason caught her just as she slipped on the rug and was able to hit the floor.
"I'm just sleepy," mumbled Sam as she nestled into the man's arms. "And lost the ability to use my nose. God Jason, I never want to see or smell perfume or cologne for as long as I live."
He raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about now Sam?"
"I am talking about the difficulties of shopping for your birthday present." Sam's words came out slightly slurred as she drifted into dreamworld, while her subconcious came out and slipped the words past her mouth. "It is just so hard to find you the perfect cologne that I can be turned on by during sex. You'd better wear it during sex, by the way. Not that I think you smell bad, you smell real good."
Jason couldn't help it; the coners of his lips turned upward and he grinned at the girl in his arms. "You bought me cologne for my birthday?"
"Sexy cologne," Sam said before she completely fell asleep. Jason chuckled lightly, before carrying her to the sofa where he laid her down gently with a kiss on the cheek.
"Sweet dreams."
"Sam, it's okay," Jason tried to soothe the black haired girl.
The said girl shook her head wildly. "No it's not!" She sobbed. "Damn it, I was supposed to surprise you with your nice birthday present, not blab it all out while I'm falling asleep! I knew I should have let that salesgirl kill me when she had the chance!"
Choosing to ignore the last statement, Jason knelt down so that he was up to Sam's level, who had been lying on the couch at the time. "Sam, look at me." When he saw those black eyes staring at him, he almost lost his nerve. "There will be other birthdays that you can shower me me with cologne. I mean, by the time when we're fifty and married, I'll be as happy as a clam because you've managed to get me that many wonderful gifts."
Sam managed a small smile. "You think we'll really last that long?"
"Of course we will," He assured her.
She sighed again though, her smile quickly disappearing. "It's not only that I completely ruined your surprise present. It's that I probably got you a completely crap present. I mean, cologne? And Courtney told me that she used whisk you off to romantic getaways. How was I supposed to compete with that?"
Jason gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "You're not Courtney Sam, and I don't expect you to be. Besides, cologne is a gift of intimacy. It's pretty good for a first attempt. I didn't even know you knew my birthday, because I don't remember telling you."
"I didn't," Sam said sulkily. "I heard you and Carly talking about how you'd be taking a few hours off celebrating your birthday so you could help her." Her eyes widened. "Hey, they never even intended to tell me about your birthday party either! Emily probably only told me because I was freaking out about your present. Well, I never," She pouted.
"You're not really all that close to them you know, so it makes sense that they wouldn't tell you."
"No, it doesn't! I'm your fiance for crying out loud!"
"Okay, you've got me there," admitted Jason. "Tell you what. How about you and I ditch my 'surprise' party at Kelly's and go out somewhere fancy. I'll even wear your cologne." He really was whipped. And she was turning him mushy.
Her smile came back. "So you don't think it was a bad birthday present?"
"Of course not," He insisted. "It's the thought that counts, and I'm sure you went through a lot of effort for it."
"Jason," laughed Sam as she thought about the help from his past girlfriends, the catfight with Carly, the Gay Boy who had set her straight, the man thongs and the girl-who-was-not-a-girl, and the bitchy salesgirl. "You are absolutely right. Maybe I'll even tell you the story at dinner. First though, I'm going to change."
"Where is he?" asked an anxious Monica. "He should have been here hours ago."
"Maybe he was busy," reasoned Alan as he patted his wife's shoulder.
Carly frowned. "I bet that little tramp Sam made him busy all right." Her sneer made all those closest to her shiver in fright, and Sonny cautiously inched away, his kids right behind him.
"Oh, give it a rest Carly," droned an uncharacteristically bored Emily. "It's obvious that Sam simply forgot that she was supposed to bring Jason here, and now they're probably doing things that I found so gross I should just stop talking." She yawned. "By the way, who was supposed to tell Sam about her job in this party again?"
Everyone in the restaurant stared at each other in puzzlement, until finally Sonny coughed, directing all eyes to him.
"I think I was supposed to tell her." He saw all the angry glares and he hastened to defend himself. "But I only forgot because she and Carly were having a catfight, and I had to go away for my own safety!"
"Oh whatever," sighed Courtney. "The point of the matter is that Sam and Jason aren't here, we got all the decorations and the cake and the food for absolutely nothing, and I'm pretty sure we're all starving."
Georgie looked hesitantly at the big white vanilla cake set in the middle, making everyone's mouths drool. "Maybe if we ate the cake, we wouldn't be all that hungry anymore?" She asked eagerly. "I mean, it would be a crime to waste all this food."
"Oh yes, a real crime," agreed Carly, with the entire crowd right behind her. They all split the cake up into generous portions, and quickly devoured the dessert. One way or the other, it looked like they would have a party after all.
"Why are we here again?" Ric asked his wife Alexis as he fiddled with his own party hat. "We don't even like these people."
End.
I don't think I really like this very much, because I feel that Jason and Sam were sort of out of character, which was the point I guess. Suddenly I feel like I need some angst. And I'm sorry if it looked like I was bashing Carly, but I missed Tamaura Braun and how bitchy she'd always act in her scenes with Sam that I guess I made her particularly fierce in this.