This was inspired by a phrase about Kai that is used in a lot of fanfics. The phrase has now started to bug me so I decided to write a one shot. However my initial idea soon turned into this. I admit I was too afraid to go back and check it in fear that I would not post it if I did, so forgive any errors. I warn you that you may not like it, but I will let you judge that.
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The battle with BEGA was over and the G Revolutions had just finished a press conference about the battle, plans for the city and the future of beyblading. It had been pretty uneventful, since most of the questions were ones that the adults could have answered without them being there, but they had all sat behind the speakers dutifully listening to the questions and preparing themselves for any that would inevitably be asked of them.
Kai raised his head from the seat. The doctors had asked Mr. Dickinson for Kai to not take part in the conference because apparently he was technically in critical condition, but Kai himself had insisted on being there. In the end, Mr. Dickinson had no other choice than to let the stubborn beyblader stay on the condition that if he felt 'off' that he would get one of his team mates to go with him and go somewhere to rest.
Kai noticed every time Tyson had looked over to him, silently making conversation, an art that Tyson had learned only from Kai. The two had grown close over the year in understanding and what could somehow be called friendship. Tyson was the only one, so far, who had noticed that Kai had had enough of the press conference; that what little energy Kai possessed was quickly draining away. Tyson was tired, though, and it would not be long before he would not be able to keep an eye on Kai.
"Kai are you ok?" Hilary who was sitting beside Kai had just noticed the far away look in his eyes, which her experience in the past few weeks told her Kai was about to faint.
It had been no secret that Kai was barely holding on to both life and reality. Sometimes he would be perfectly normal and watch them and listen to them, but remain silent. They had all grown used to his silence and knew he was comfortable.
There were other days, though, when Kai would be entirely different. Hilary had to admit that she would want to face almost any other horrible thing in the world than to see that side of Kai again. She had been lucky to only see it once, apparently the others had seen that side of Kai several more times than her. Admittedly no matter how much she wanted to support Kai, she was too scared to see what the truth of him was. She had painted a picture of him and did not want to look at it or revise it in the fear of her finding out too much.
Ray hated to admit it, but as he watched Hilary lean slightly over to Kai to whisper something in his ear he felt a pang in his chest. It was the realisation that no matter how much he tried to convince himself, he would never understand Kai. He would never understand why Kai did what he did or what had caused him to snap after his recovery from his battle with Brooklyn. There was nothing any of them could do and he hated to admit it, but he could not deal with Kai anymore. It was horrible to say and Ray cursed himself for thinking it, but it was true. What was the point in putting so much effort to help someone only to have it ignored in the end? There was nothing that he would do for Kai anymore.
Max had seen Ray turn his attention away from the speeches and towards Kai. It was almost impossible to know what Kai was feeling, but at the same time he just wanted to go up to the older boy and shake him, telling him to get over it. The only thing that stopped him was that he knew he would feel horrible for doing it, which he was glad for. Part of Max had wanted to ask Kai why he had bothered to come to the press conference as it was very obvious that Kai had no desire to listen to the speeches, that was assuming that Kai's mind was here today.
All watched as Kai stood from his seat and quietly walked off the platform. He did not ask for their help, because inside he knew what they thought about him. He also knew that no matter what they thought they would stay by him because of guilt if they abandoned him. This made Kai wonder if he even wanted to get better, because if he did then they would most-likely leave him.
As Kai walked he looked up to see a girl maybe a year younger than him, smiling up to him as if asking for a favour. He stopped and let her speak purely to get rid of her once she said what she had to say. Her smile disappeared, but amusement was still in her eyes.
"I'm Bonnie and I wanted to get to know you because you and I are similar."
Kai raised an eyebrow wondering what made the two of them similar.
As if anticipating his question she responded, "You and I both hide behind masks to fool our friends into thinking we're alright, but no one can see that we're really hurting."
Kai's confusion turned into one of disgust and he stormed past her, leaving the girl very confused as to what had just happened. He was wearing a mask? How dare she just assume that he was anything like her. It was true that no one really knew him, but then again that was the same with everyone. There is only so much that one will let you into his or her life
Kai's rage took him to the river where he had first met Tyson. Slowing his pace down he walked to the river's edge and took off his shoes and socks before sitting down. He rolled up the legs of his trousers before dipping his feet into the cool water. He looked up at the sky remembering when life was easier, but knowing at the time that he had not thought that. Was he doomed to always regret and never enjoy the moment he lived in? He did try to get better, but in the end was not that easy and he gave up. He doubted the others even realised that.
There was no mask, nothing much present to cover behind. It had been removed and he was left not only confused, but also shattered. The mask had kept him sane, kept him together and now it was mostly gone leaving only a broken mind. Was this the real him, or just another mask that had to be removed? Even he could not tell anymore.
Kai walked back to the dojo and into the cool shade of the structure only to see his friends' worried faces. They would be here for him as long as he was sick, because their consciences would not let them leave him. He would not get better, because he did not want them to leave.
Tyson smiled, hoping to get a response, "Hey Kai do you want to battle?"
Maybe one day I will not feel that I have to hide behind my illness for you to like me.
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You probably didn't understand what the inspiration was since I rambled so much at the beginning, but it was a comment about Kai wearing a mask. If you hate the charaters at the moment then I apologise, but I admit with great loathing of myself that I have felt like the others did about Kai.
As for Kai's thoughts I admit that is how I thought I would feel in that situation (call me selfish I know I am). He does feel bad since he knows a bit of what they are going through, but at the same time he's scared. I just want to really stress that he is not trying to hurt his friends, it's just happening.
If you haven't been completely offeneded too much to review (or if you feel you want to just comment) please press the review button below. I would really appreciate it!