A/N:

Thanks to all the reviewers, it really helps to keep on writing to know that there are people that like my work :)

About it being sad – well, that's angst for you :) And the whole Gundam seed/destiny is a pretty dark theme in general. There will be some light at the end of the tunnel, but one must first get trough the tunnel, ne :)

About Athrun being mad at Kira – he's got a good reason, don't you think :)

So, here's chapter 5, hope you will like it.

DISCLAIMER : I don't own anything from GS/GSD

Lacus sat on her bed, waiting for Athrun to arrive, still thinking how is she going to say the things she felt she needed to say to him. The pink haired princess let out a small sigh and tried to prepare herself mentally for things that were about to happen.

She felt uneasy about this – something that rarely happens to her when talking to people. Especially those close to her. This was no pleasant thing, she knew that. But it had to be done. For Athrun's sake. She knew he had loved her back then. Back then when she left him to be with Kira.

She knew that he had only ended up with Cagali because he couldn't be with her. She was the first one to inflict a wound to his heart. Although he never showed it, she knew how much it hurt him. He always hid his emotions, locking it within the depths of his heart.

And she knew that it was only breaking his heart slowly, from within. He was fragile and gentle, despite that he looked serious and almost feeling less at times on the outside. But he wasn't. He cared about everything deeply. And it hurt him. He cared for Lacus at that time, but was too shy to say it in words.

She knew that as well. He had never been good with words. He cared deeply for everyone close to him, but never said it. She was good at reading minds, that's why she could see trough the mask he wore. The mask of a soldier, who had been forced to him in war.

She knew that he didn't say anything to her about Kira because he cared for her happiness – to the point he thought it was better to let her be with Kira if that would bring her happiness. Lacus smirked at that thought. Was she really happy with Kira ?

Yes, she liked to be near him, she liked him a lot. But just like Athrun never showed his emotions, Kira did the same. But the difference was she could see trough Athrun, to see that he has genuine feelings and love for her. Sadly, she couldn't see it in Kira's eyes.

She shook her head, pushing these thoughts aside. This wasn't about her. It was about Athrun. The young soldier whose heart she broke once. The young soldier who had found some peace and love with Cagali again. Who also had broken his heart, by tossing him aside for her country.

But even then, he continued to live on, without showing much of emotions – he still upheld the mask of the soldier. Although his heart was ready to crumble, he would never show it to anyone. But she could see that.

But there was something that could heal his heart. Or rather – a certain someone. Someone he could care about. More than he had cared about her. More than for Cagali. But he was too trapped in his past to fully understand it. He still wanted to glue together fragments of the past.

But it would end up hurting him even more in the end. You can't glue together pieces of your heart by hanging on to your past. You have to move forward if there is a place to move to. And he had one. His heart knew it, but his mind was too busy trying to cling to the past.

The soldier was still trapped in the past, trying to gather pieces of it, that would end up breaking them in to even smaller pieces. The soldier stood in the way of his heart.

And she was the one to start it. Now it was her duty to free him of his past. To help him rip off the mask of the soldier that didn't suit him. The only that way could she help him heal his crumbling heart. Which she began to break. She owned him that much.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "Lacus ?"

She took in a deep breath and answered "Yes, Athrun. Come in."

The door opened and the blue haired coordinator entered her room, closing the door behind him. She immediately noticed he was angry about something, and she could guess what it was about. "Athrun, what's wrong?" She asked kindly, already knowing the answer.

Athrun walked over and sighed, then looked up and asked "Can I sit down ? I feel a bit dizzy."

Lacus only smiled at his question. Although being a soldier he was still very delicate and polite. Although she wanted him not to be so formal with her – they were old friends after all. He needed to open up. The soldier needed to go.

"Of course you can, Athrun. You don't need to ask me for permission for that." She moved over, Athrun nodded his head and sat beside her on the bed. She looked at him, he still seemed angry.

"Athrun, what happened ? Did you… did you meet Kira ?" She noticed as he pulled his face in a grimace, hearing the name of his old friend. "Did you…do anything to him?"

Athrun smiled sadly and turned his head to take a look at Lacus face. "Not really… I don't know myself why I didn't… " The smile disappeared. "Lacus, if you want me to apologize to him for hitting him, know that it won't happen. I think I had all the rights to do what I did and he deserved it."

Lacus Simply shook her head and smiled one of her gentle smiles. "I wont ask you , Athrun. You did have all the right to do so, and I never said he didn't deserve it."

Athrun looked surprised at her response. He actually was expecting her to say she wants the two of them to kiss and make up. "Then … what did you want to talk about with me ?"

Lacus took in a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "You, Athrun ".

Athrun looked even more surprised "Me ? Um…ok. What about me ?"

Cagali arrived home early. She saw Athrun's car and smiled happily at the thought that he's already here. After finding out from her servant that Athrun had gone to see Lacus she hurried up to Lacus room. She was about to knock when she heard voices from the room.

"Then … what did you want to talk about with me ?"

"You, Athrun ".

"Me ? Um…ok. What about me ?"

She stopped and started to listen, knowing it wasn't polite, but she was dying to know.

Lacus smile turned to a sad one, when she looked at the blue haired boys face. "About your feelings, Athrun. About the feelings you are locking away in yourself."

Athrun was starting to get confused. He always had been when talking to Lacus. She seemed to be reading him as a book. A book whose contents even he didn't know. "… feelings ?"

Lacus nodded . Might as well get to the point… "Athrun… why did you agree to marry Cagali ?"

This question left him speechless for a few seconds, with his mouth open. He slowly recovered. "L..Lacus, what kind of a question is that. I..i like her…"

"But do you love her ?"

Athrun opened his mouth to say yes, but for some reason he couldn't. Love ? of course I love her, didn't I just say so ?Wait…I actually said I liked her… not love… but why ?

Lacus noticed him stalling and smiled a sad smile. So it means I was right… "Athrun, why did you do that ? You want to believe you can save the things that once were there, but now seems to be fading away ?"

Athrun was left speechless again. He opened his mouth to protest, but he fell silent before actually saying anything. Some part of his brain couldn't help but agree that what Lacus is saying is right. Other part dint want to accept it .

"Lacus, i…" he was interrupted by Lacus speaking up again.

"Tell me, Athrun. Did you say yes because of the feelings you have now, or because of the feelings you once had, that still are in your memory. Which one is it, Athrun ?. Please… tell the truth."

Athrun was left surprised. He didn't expect Lacus to act so bluntly. She had acted like this once with him – when he came looking for her when she had been labeled as a traitor in PLANT.

"I…" he sighed "yes, its true that my feelings were stronger then, but does it matter ? They are still here"

"But are they love ? Or the will to restore what was taken by time and circumstances ?"

"I…" he rested his forehead in his hand "I don't know… Lacus, is it wrong… is it wrong to try to save what we had in the past ?"

Lacus smiled at him sadly. He looked confused, like a lost puppy. "It is , Athrun. If the feelings you have now are nothing but shadow of past… it is wrong.. You have changed, Athrun."

"C… changed ?" Lacus nodded.

"Earlier you wouldn't have answered anything to my questions, you would have just sat there. You have become more open, Athrun. That's good. It makes me happy."

Athrun felt she had some truth behind her words, but couldn't understand where she was getting to. "Lacus…what are you saying ?"

Lacus was still looking at him wit her blue eyes, that seemed to be deeper than ocean, hiding infinite mysteries and knowledge, under her innocent surface and attitude.

"Can you feel for her the same way you did back then ? You said that time when you met her on the mountains near the sea, after the battle where she had appeared to stop ORB from fighting…you said that there are things even you can understand, but can't accept. You still can't accept, can you ?"

Athrun felt his eyes watering. He couldn't help but feel she is right. He still couldn't accept. He tried to… but he couldn't… that he will always come second in her heart… "But… i… "

Lacus placed a finger on his lips, making Athrun fall silent. "You tried to let it go, I know… but you cant, can you ? You understand… that you never will be the main part of her life. That you will always be second in her heart. That she will leave you to be with her country."

"I know I sound harsh, but I want … I want you to realize this , Athrun. By making this decision, guided by the hopes of the past, hopes that you yourself know are in vain… you will only suffer more. And you will make everyone else suffer as well. Including Cagali."

Athrun felt like he won't be able to hold back his tears for much longer. Everything Lacus said… it was true… he just didn't want to see it for himself… as always… "Lacus, I just…I just wanted to be happy for once… I …I just wanted to…"

"I understand" Lacus sadly continued with soft voice "I understand, Athrun. Everyone wants to be happy, but clinging on to your past won't bring any good in the end. You have to learn to let go "

Tears started to fall down the former soldiers face, as he listened to her words. They hurt. A lot. Because they were true. "Lacus…i…I don't want to be alone… my past is all I had…i.."

"You are wrong, Athrun" Athrun lifted his head in surprise

"Wrong..?"

"You have to move forward… you have someplace to move on to… someone that you can move on to… Cagali could never choose you over her country. She has too much of a responsibility. I know you understand that, but it still hurts you. It hurts you too much. I can see it , Athrun."

"But you can move forward. There is someone waiting for you, Athrun. Someone who gave up on everything she had to be with you. Someone who cares more for you than everything she had. Someone who gave up everything to stay beside you."

Athrun widened his eyes. "You mean…Meyrin ?". Lacus nodded her head. Her eyes were also watering. It was hard for her to say all this. It was hard to talk like that about Cagali. But it had to be said, so that Athrun can finally let go of his past.

Meyrin… his hand automatically clinched the letter in his pocket. I have been a fool…i… I guess I always liked her… but… the way she walked behind me… I … I always thought she never wanted to have anything to do with me… I thought she only was keeping the promise she gave to Cagali…

… How could I have been so blind? I lived with her for 5 months… but I barely spoke with her… how could I have made her suffer so much… how could I be so blind… did I really try to hold on to my past that strongly ?...

Tears were starting to fall down his cheeks, he started to sob quietly. "Lacus…i… I'm so miserable. I have made Cagali suffer…I have made Meyrin suffer… I …i…."

Lacus placed her gentle hand on Athrun's shoulder and shook her head. "Athrun… don't say that… everything will be all right … But tell me one thing…do you…do you have feelings for Meyrin ? Please, tell me, Athrun"

Feelings…yes, now that he was trying to open his heart… to let go of his past… he understood he had some feelings for her… but nothing certain… "I… I guess i… do love her a bit…but"

Lacus didn't hear the rest part of his sentence. She was smiling to herself. She had made Athrun to think of his deeper feelings… she had succeeded in making a crack in the mask of soldier he wore. He said he loves her a little… that means he cares for her more than for Cagali"

Lacus had a smile on her face. A happy one. Athrun noticed that and looked at the pink haired princess with a confusion. "Lacus…? Why are you smiling ?"

She looked at him, still having the smile on her face. "Athrun, you can be happy. You said you love her a little. That means you have feelings for her… deeper than you have for Cagali… deeper than you had for me"

Athrun was really getting confused by all this. First of, he couldn't understand why he was here, telling her his heart out. It wasn't like him. Have I changed that much ? And second…where did she draw that conclusion from.

"L… Lacus, what are you saying ?"

Lacus only smiled at him, shaking her head "You said you love her a little… do you have noticed you have never said you loved me… or that you love Cagali ?"

Athrun simply looked at her unable to speak, realizing what she had just said. It was the truth, as always. He never had said to her, nor Cagali that he would love either of them. It was the first time him saying so. But I don't understand…if… If that is how I feel… why didn't I notice it during all these months with her ?"

"How… why didn't I notice this before ?" He silently whispered, but Lacus heard that. "because you were caught up in your past, Athrun. You were to busy trying to cling on to your past… to be the same person who you were during the war… to be a soldier to notice what your heart feels."

"You always locked your heart away in the war, Athrun."

"But…I am a soldier… i…"

He stopped when he felt Lacus hand on his cheek. She smiled at him. "Remember, when I brought Justice to you … and you asked if I think you are only a soldier…. I said that you are a soldier…but that you are also Athrun. "

Athrun did remember the scene. It was on board on Archangel… he could barely stand from his injuries he had gotten trying to protect Meyrin when his GOUF was destroyed by Shinn. He remembered the feeling of being only a soldier as he stood there, examining the newly created Infinite Justice Gundam, built for him by Lacus.

"That's also for you to decide. And you might be a soldier, but you are also Athrun, aren't you ?"

"Stop being a soldier, Athrun. The war is over. You brought it to an end. Please, be Athrun again. The same I remember from back then, when we were only 14. Ever since when your mother died, you have been locking yourself away. And it hurts you too much."

Tears were slowly streaming down Athrun's face, dropping down on the carpet, leaving stains there. "But… I…I'm engaged to Cagali… I have already made Meyrin suffer without even realizing it… i… I don't want for Cagali to suffer as well…"

Lacus smiled at him, with unlimited sadness in her face. That was just like Athrun. He cared about others more than for himself. He sacrificed himself for others. And unlike Kira, who always cried out his pain, Athrun kept it inside. The soldier didn't let him to cry.

"Athrun, I told you not to think that way. That won't make anyone happy in the end. Think a bit about yourself before thinking about others, Athrun. You have never done that. I know that it sounds selfish, but love is selfish, Athrun."

"You see that Cagali still wants to be with you, and so you try to make it happen, ignoring what your heart feels. You think too much, Athrun. Too much about others, almost never about yourself. You were always ready to sacrifice yourself for others. Don't do that for once, Athrun."

"Your mind is locked in the past. Maybe it's the same for Cagali. I wonder if i'm locked in my past as well… Talk to her, Athrun. You should talk more. The war is over, there is no need to hide your feelings, to push them aside. For once, be what you want to be, not what others expect you to be . I wonder if i'm not the same… haven't I always been the way others expect me to be ?

I was always expected to be strong and cheerful, so I was… just like Athrun was expected to be the best soldier. And he was. But I didn't want to be cheerful all the time, when my heart was against it… Athrun didn't want to be a soldier… But we both did what was expected of us by others…

"Lacus… tell me…how…what should I do ? What would you do ? to follow the obvious path… to do the what everyone expects you to do … what should I do… tell me…please…

Lacus smiled her sad smile. What would she do ? Athrun already knew the answer to that. After all, she and Athrun were engaged… but she left him, to be with Kira. For once she did what her heart told her to do… now she wanted Athrun to do the same.

"Athrun… you already know what I would do… what I did. I…I left you" she turned her head away, not looking in his eyes anymore "I left you to be with Kira… despite us being engaged… that's what I did – I did what my heart told me to do."

Athrun's eyes widened hearing this. He had long forgotten the fact that she already had gone trough this – what he was going trough now. "Lacus… so what are you saying… what should I do ?"

Lacus turned her head back to face Athrun and looked deep in to his eyes, showing that she really means what she says. Her words made Athrun remember the advice he had given Shinn some time ago. The advice he gave to his friend, but never followed himself.

"Athrun… just follow your heart." She smiled, seeing Athrun's expression. "I'm sure that will lead to the better end. Athrun, promise me, that you will think about this. Just not too much. You always think too much. You need to let go of the soldiers way of doing things.

And you can. I know you can. I know, because I have seen that you can. That day when you took Meyrin to restaurant… the day you took her to the park… You smiled, Athrun… you laughed… you finally didn't think hard about everything – you felt at peace.

You had never laughed while being with me… while being with Cagali…" she smiled sadly "It was the first time I have seen you laugh, Athrun."

Athrun wiped away the tears from his face, regaining some of his usual calmness. But Lacus could see he was not as uptight as usual. She knew she had succeeded in making the mask he wore unstuck a bit. That he will at least try to let go of his past. The rest was up to Athrun. And she believed in him. She always had.

Athrun stood up and nodded to Lacus, with a small smile on his face. "Thank you, Lacus. I'm really a fool, am I not ? It always seems you know things better than me when it comes to my feelings…i…I have to think about this. Thank you."

Cagali backed away from the door, tears in her eyes. It hurt her. It hurt to hear Lacus say such things. And it kept on hurting even deeper because she knew it was true. Athrun never had said he loved her. He had never laughed in her company… and it was true she had tossed him aside for her country. And it was true that she could never care for Athrun as much as for her country.

And it hurt to realize this. These bits have never really crossed her mind… now, when they were thrown at her, she felt hurt by their boldness, Their truth. He never said he loved. At least that he loved her. He never laughed. At least not with her.

Cagali slowly backed away from the door, then turned around and ran to her room. She fell on to her bed, face buried in pillows. And she cried. Cried from the wounds these truthful words have caused.

He turned around and started to walk towards the door. Lacus smiled to herself. So she had made Athrun think a bit how his heart feels. That's good. It was true she always seemed to understand Athrun, because she could see trough his heart… unlike with Kira.

She suddenly stood up, and quickly spoke up, with nervous voice. "Athrun, please wait. I.. I want to ask you something." There was one person who knew Kira better than herself. That has known him since his childhood. Maybe…maybe that person knew the answer. And that person was standing in front of her.

Athrun turned back, surprised how she had changed suddenly. "Lacus, what's wrong ?" He pushed all his thoughts aside, focusing on Lacus. He can think about all that later, now it seemed Lacus was worried about something.

"N..nothing. I…I just wanted to ask you something… about Kira." Athrun raised an eyebrow. He certainly didn't want to talk about Kira. Especially since his mind wanted to think about other issues. But he wouldn't say no to Lacus, who looked worried.

He nodded his head and sighed. "Very well… what is it, Lacus ?"

Lacus gathered her willpower to ask the question. She was afraid of the answer. But she hoped at least he could give her one, be it good or bad, at least it would be an answer instead of a world of uncertainties.

"Athrun, how do you think…. does Kira…. have feelings for me…. Does he love me …."

Athrun was shocked with this question, which showed on his face. He took a step backwards, his emerald eyes widened in surprise. 'Wha…Lacus… what…why…"

Lacus quickly moved forward and grabbed Athrun's hand, as if she would be worried he would run away. He really looked like he could. He looked up at him, with pleading look in her eyes and spoke with trembling voice.

"Please, Athrun. I… I need to know…I need to know. And please… don't lie to save my feelings… it hurts not to know anything at all." She squeezed his hand tighter, her eyes watering. "Please, Athrun"

Saying he was surprised was an understatement. He had never seen her like this. She looked confused… for the first time in her life. He didn't know what to say. Or rather how to say it. "Please…Athrun….if you know…tell me the truth"

Athrun took in a deep breath and let out an even bigger sigh. "Lacus… he… he likes you … who wouldn't like you…he… "

"Does he love me, Athrun? Please…you are the only one who can answer this besides him…and i…I don't want to…to ask him this"

Athrun took her hand in both his hands and looked away. Love… is such a strong word. You can't use it freely. Athrun thought he probably knew the answer to her question…

He looked in to her blue eyes, that were pleading for an answer…

"Lacus, I … i'm not sure… I don't think so. He has never been the one to hide his feelings… he never did… so i… I don't think he does." Lacus let go of Athrun's arm and took a few steps back, and sat down on the bed. A tear fell down her cheek.

Athrun thought for a moment if he should have said the thing he said. But he was never used to lying. And he never lied. "Lacus…sorry.."

Lacus shook her head, wiping the tear away with a pink handkerchief. "Don't be. Thank you, Athrun. For telling the truth."

Lacus looked like she wanted to be left alone for a while, so Athrun decided to take his leave. Without saying another word, he went over to the door and opened it, looked over his shoulder at Lacus, who was sitting on her bed, her head bowed down, her pink hair covering her face, and exited the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

He also wanted to be alone for a while. He also had things to think over about. He went up to the balcony and stepped outside. The wind blowing trough his hair and petting his face was refreshing. He took a deep breath of the fresh air and started to think over things Lacus had told him.

Once Athrun snapped out of his thoughts he noticed it was evening already. He had lost the track of time while dwelling in his thoughts. And even after all this thinking he hadn't come near the conclusion on how he should act.

The blue haired coordinator sighed and looked at his watch. 6:45 pm. The ball was about to start. He better go and freshen up a bit and find Cagali. He looked up at the sky. It looked like it was going to rain – dark clouds were gathering, and this sight certainly didn't lift up his mood.

He turned around and walked inside to prepare for the ball.

The ball was going well, and Athrun even was having some fun, but something prevented him from truly being happy at this time. And it seemed like Cagali was upset about something, but Athrun had no idea about what, seeing how much she looked forward to this.

He decided that maybe she was tired and led her to side to have a seat, and sat beside her.

"Cagali, are you ok ?"

"Mhm …?" Cagali lifted her eyes and looked at Athrun. She was wearing the same green dress that Athrun found so attractive the other day. "Oh… it's nothing, Athrun."

Athrun raised an eyebrow "really ?"

Cagali sighed, then turned her head away "Say, Athrun… I" she was interrupted by a loud noise of breaking glass. Eyes of every person in the hall turned towards the source of the noise. It appeared that one of guests had pushed over one of the trays near the door, which was holding ten glasses of wine.

The unlucky guest tried to get out of sight as fast as possible, red all over his face. Athrun chuckled at that. Speaking of red… his eyes widened when he saw a red haired girl standing near the entrance of the room, just a bit outside.

Athrun blinked his eyes in order to make sure he was not seeing things. M…Meyrin ? She was standing there, wearing the black dress, hugging the red heart shaped pillow to her chest. She looked like she had been crying recently again. Athrun's hand clutched the letter inside his pocket, feeling a whirlpool of emotions awakening in his usually calm heart. Meyrin…

He started at her for a few seconds, then she suddenly backed away from the door and left his sight. Athrun was still clutching the letter inside his pocket. Lots of questions, feelings and memories flooded his mind. Meyrin…She came…to see me ?

As he saw Meyrin backing away from door he strained. He did not want her to leave… he had no idea if he would get the chance to ever see her again. But he couldn't just stand up and go away, leaving Cagali here like that…

His trail of thoughts was interrupted as he felt a hand rested on his shoulder. "Go"

Athrun turned his head to Cagali and blinked in surprise. "Ca..Cagali ?"

Cagali only nodded, as if saying she understands. "Go to her, Athrun." "Go" she added as she saw Athrun opening his mouth to say something. "Go while you still can, Athrun." She pulled her lips in a small, sad smile. "Follow your heart, Athrun."

The blue haired man widened his emerald eyes in surprise. How does she know…Before Athrun had a chance to think about that another thought came up his mind. Go while you still can. That's right… if I don't hurry…I might never see her again…

He stood up, looking in Cagali's golden eyes, filled with sadness and understanding. He turned around and walked to the door. When he got out, he started running. He had no idea where to run… he just ran, following his heart.

Cagali exited the ball room, trying to hold her tears back. She just wanted to be alone for a while. She turned around a corner and bumped in to someone. She lift up her eyes and saw Lacus, who also looked sad, her eyes a bit red from crying.

"Cagali…how did you… did you hear what i… and Athrun were talking about ?" She placed a hand on her chest and startled a bit when Cagali nodded her head. "Cagali, i…i'm very sorry, i…" She bowed her head.

Cagali just shook her head. "Lacus… you don't need to be sorry…you…you didn't do anything wrong. I also want him to be happy. Besides…" Cagali's voice became more wistful "Everything you said was true. About him being unable to forgive me… and about me loving my country more than I love him… which I have already showed."

Lacus lifted her head, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry, Cagali. I never meant to say anything bad about you, its just…"

"You never did say anything bad. You said the truth. I simply love my country more. I cant be there for him when he needs it. I couldn't break his mask. She on the other hand, can. I just want Athrun to be happy. I believe he will be happy with her. And that's enough for me."

"It just shows that I can't love a person as much as I love this country. No matter how I wish for that to be untrue. Athrun needs someone to support him, and I cant do that. He wouldn't be happy with me. You were right, Lacus. Actually I even don't feel so sad now that he's gone.

Somehow I knew we just were not meant to be. I guess…. I kinda liked Kira back then…before I found out he is my brother." Her cheeks turned a bit red at mentioning this. "I just used him as something to cling on to… I think. He had also just lost you…and I guess he also needed someone to cling on to…"

"But its best if we move on. Its good to know he is ready to move on… to someone who can really care for him… more than for anything else…as for me." She smiled sadly "I guess ill just move on to my country… maybe ill find someone at some point... but now it seems I love my country that my father left me more than I am capable of loving anything else."

Tears were falling down Lacus face, as she was listening to what Cagali was saying. She was strong. She was strong because she could accept truth so easily and without hesitation. If only I had that kind of strength…

"Cagali… thank you. Thank you for not hating me. I feel so bad for doing this to you…"

Cagali only shook her head. "Don't be, Lacus. You were right, you know. Clinging on to the past wont do any good to anyone in the end. I guess I was also trying to cling on to it – to the feelings I had for him before my country came in the picture. I should thank you instead"

She was about to continue, when they heard a sound of breaking glass coming from the hallway to their right. Lacus lift her head and turned it in the direction of sound. "What was that ?"

Cagali shrugged "No idea. Lets go and see. Someone better not breaking the vases in the hallways. They are expensive you know…"

Lacus decided that if Cagali is trying to pull a joke, then maybe she really is ok, and followed her towards the direction sound came from.

Athrun was running forward, without even knowing where to run. He just had a feeling he should come here. Without knowing it he had come to the hallway that led to the balcony he had been standing on today earlier.

He saw a figure standing there. Someone in black dress and red hair. Meyrin. As he continued to run, he noticed that her hands let go of the railing she was leaning against and her body began to slide over it.

His emerald eyes widened in horror and realization. Don't tell me she is going to… CRAP. His coordinator muscles tensed, as he dashed towards the balcony in an unbelievable speed. No…this cant be happening… I must reach her in time…I MUST.

Her body was already almost half way across the railing, when Athrun caught her around her chest with his right hand, while crashing in to the railing quite heavily, as he didn't try to slow down before reaching her. This caused him almost to fall over the railing himself, but that was the least of his concerns now.

Without noticing the pain in his right side that was tossed against the railing, he pulled her back away from there. "Meyrin ! Meyrin ?" She has lost consciousness he ascertained as he felt her limp body in his hands.

It was raining, and her clothes and hair were soaked with water. He quickly picked her up, placing his hands under her and carried her inside, picking up the red pillow that had fallen out of her hands.

He looked at her face and felt his heart ache. After the danger was over, his heart started to fill with all kinds of emotions, biggest of them being guilt. Did… did I make her suffer so badly… how…how could I have been so blind for five months ! I'm such a jerk !

She must have felt sad for all that time… and I was too oblivious to notice what's happening right over my damn nose. Tears were streaming down his face, as he realized how much he had hurt her. How much she meant to him. How close he was to losing her. He would punch the wall right now if his hands wouldn't be busy holding her.

She must have been suffering for the whole 5 months… and the incident in the park must have pushed her over the edge…DAMN…how could I have been so blind ! She risked everything she had for me… she stayed by my side for 5 months. ! and I just took that for granted. I'm such a miserable person!

He kneeled down on the floor, not letting go of her slim body, that was resting on his hands, tears still coming from his eyes. "Meyrin" He whispered, bowing his head down. "If…if you can forgive me…I promise…I wont ignore you anymore… I wont cling on to my past… this time I will stay beside you…. If you still want me to be there… i…"

"So, you choose her over my sister" A cold voice pierced the air. Athrun looked up to find Kira standing a few feet away. His words sounded cold. His purple eyes were filled with anger. Just like the day in the park… Athrun felt anger rising in him again.

Kira was the last person he wanted to see now. And he seemed to act hostile again. Athrun slowly stood up, without realizing he was holding Meyrin tighter now. Somehow he sensed that Kira wouldn't just leave them alone.

"Well ? Answer me! Why are you holding that slut ?" Kira yelled at his former friend, his hands clinched in fists. Athrun felt like hitting him again. But he had more important things to worry about right now, than hitting Kira, so he tried to calm himself down, although his mind screamed to jump at Kira and beat him senseless.

"I have nothing to say to you, so move aside."

Kira started to shake in anger at his response. "What do you mean you have nothing to say ? You have to be with Cagali not this homeless creature !"

Athrun felt like he could barely control himself, despite being very calm in nature. He was shaking in anger, but Meyrin needed his attention more than his stupid friend who seemed to have lost his mind again.

"Its not for you to decide, now move aside, or I will make you move" Athrun was grinding his teeth as he said that, he had to bring up all his self restrain not to jump at Kira and strangle him.

Looks like his response angered the obviously irrational Kira even more. But he didn't care about that one bit. Kira could go to hell for all he cared. Then something he didn't expect happened – Kira swung his head back and started to laugh. Athrun stared at him, his eyes widened. Is he completely cracked ?

Kira stopped laughing and looked at Meyrin, with malicious sparkle in his eyes, and said in almost whispering voice. "She is making you forget your past, isn't she ? She's making you forget Cagali, isn't she ? But don't worry, Athrun." Evil grin showed upon Kira's face.

"I will save you from her, Athrun. I will set you free. So you can be with Cagali again." With that he pulled a kitchen knife out of his pocket, and started to move forward.

Athrun took a step back, eyes widened in a complete shock. "Kira…what … are you mad ?"

Kira took another step closer, grinning widely. "I'm free, Athrun. I will free you as well." With that he lunged forward, prepared to use the knife.

Time seemed to freeze as Athrun quickly analyzed the situation. He had Meyrin in his hands, so he didn't know how well he could evade the blow. He was obviously stronger than Kira, who never received any kind of training in the military. But Athrun had a precious load that slowed him down, that he couldn't let go.

Then a shocking realization struck him. Kira was not aiming for him. He was aiming for Meyrin. NO! He couldn't let that happen. No matter what. He couldn't ! He wont !

Athrun quickly moved to side, just enough to get Meyrin out of the way, moving his arm in the way instead. He could feel the cold steel pierce his arm, he felt his blood flowing down his white jacket. He didn't care about that. His mind was focused on another thing. He completely ignored the pain.

He… tried to kill her ? He …aimed for her ? KIRA ! You will pay for that. Meyrin…I will protect her… I…will…defeat you ! An image of a small seed appeared in front of his eyes. The small seed floated in the air, then suddenly it scattered in thousands of little particles of light…

Athrun's eye pupils were narrowed, his eyes radiating a light, barely noticeable green light. He easily dodged Kira's next stab, ducking under his arm and coming up the side of it. He brought up a knee to Kira's stomach, making the boy wince in pain, as he dropped to the floor on one knee.

Athrun let go of Meyrin's legs and grabbed a vase that was situated on a nearby shelf, and swung it against Kira's back of the head, shattering the vase in the process.

The brunette fell to the floor, obviously unconscious from the blow. Athrun picked up Meyrin's legs again and shifted himself against the wall. He was breathing heavily. It was obvious to him that Kira had some mental problems. Serious problems, that idiot attacked Meyrin…I swear…if he would have done anything to her…

Athrun looked at Kira , shaking in anger, trying to once again to restrain the urge to strangle the unconscious boy. He didn't even notice that sleeve of his white jacket was soaked red in his blood.

Then he heard footsteps coming from the hallway and turned his head to see whose coming.

Lacus and Cagali stopped at the sight that revealed itself before their eyes. Lacus gasped as she saw Kira lying on the ground, a small stream of blood coming from his head, while gripping a bloody knife, while Athrun was leaning against the wall, with blood soaked jacket, holding an unconscious Meyrin in his hands.

Cagali looked around in confusion "A…Athrun…what… what happened here ?" her gaze stopped at Athrun's arm, which was covered in blood. Her eyes widened in disbelief and worry "Oh my god ! Are you ok, Athrun, your arm… "

Athrun looked at his arm, which looked like it had been painted red. Honestly he hadn't noticed the pain at all. "Oh…its nothing…i'm fine…don't worry about me"

Lacus slowly went over to Kira and carefully removed the knife from his hand, with obvious concern and fear in her eyes. Her hand touched Kira's forehead, where the blood was coming from in a small stream.

She looked at Athrun, who was also bleeding, holding Meyrin in his hands. She probably knew what had happened…but she didn't want to believe it No…it cant be… Kira would never ! Tears were gathering in her eyes, as she watched the unconscious Kira lying on the ground.

Cagali still was as confused as ever. "Athrun, what the heck happened ? You…you need to see a doctor! And Kira too !" She was screaming, her voice shaking slightly. She was obviously worried about both friends.

But Athrun had his own worries – the soaked girl in his hands. He had to get her some dry clothes, and get her away fro m this depressing place. He pushed off from the wall and started to slowly walk down the hall.

"Ill be fine, Cagali, don't worry about me. Iv been trough worse. You should both take that idiot to a doctor. And I don't mean just the cut he has in his head. I really think he has lost it. He tried to kill Meyrin.

With that Athrun left, carrying Meyrin with him. He was holding her in his hands the whole time, but he didn't even feel the slightest fatigue. Meyrin was so light he could carry around her all day. And he certainly wouldn't mind doing so.

Cagali watched Athrun leave, her eyes widened in disbelief. He…tried to kill Meyrin ? That's absurd ! it cant be! The bloody knife that Kira had and Athrun's bleeding Hand made her rethink her position though.

Lacus was kneeling beside Kira, tears falling from her beautiful blue eyes, shaking her head in disbelief. "Kira…how could you…what is happening to you…" She whispered while leaning down to Kira and placing her hands on his back, gripping his shirt.

Cagali snapped out of it, quickly pulling out her cell phone to call an ambulance. And she didn't forget Athrun's advice either. She would surely find out what's wrong with Kira. It couldn't be that his past was responsible for this, It just couldn't…

Athrun stopped his car by his house, after driving trough the city like madman. His only concern was to take care of Meyrin. She needed some dry clothes, or else she would catch a fever. Not to mention he was concerned about her state of mind as well.

He had managed to bandage his arm somehow while driving. He decided to take care of it later, Meyrin was more important to him now. Its not like it's the first time he gets injured, and from experience he could tell its nothing serious.

He could feel his heart almost stop as he remembered how close Kira got to Meyrin with the knife. Kira, what the hell is wrong with you ?

He unlocked the door and carried Meyrin inside. This seemed awfully familiar. Last time he and Meyrin encountered Kira it ended up with him bringing back Meyrin in his hands, who was in a state of shock.

This time he was bringing her back with her being unconscious and his arm bleeding. He pressed her fragile body closer to him while he carried her up to her room. He swore to himself, that he wouldn't let Kira near Meyrin if it would be the last thing he would do.

Athrun gently placed Meyrin on bed and then he realized something. She was unconscious, and he would have to change her clothes. He froze at that thought, his cheeks gaining the color of a boiled beet. He couldn't do that! She would probably consider him a pervert or something!

But then again –what other choice do I have ? I certainly can't lave her lying in that wet dress. Cursing at himself for the situation , Athrun removed her shoes, then carefully removed her dress, trying to restrain his sight as much as possible. To a very limited success. He couldn't help but admit that she is very beautiful.

Stop that, Zala. She is lying here in such a situation, and you are thinking something like this. Athrun finished removing the dress and put it down on a chair. Now he turned back to Meyrin. Much to his horror he discovered that her underwear is soaked as well. He blushed fiercely at the thought of having to change that as well.

After a minute of hesitation and inner conflicts Athrun sighed heavily, before proceeding to the task. After all, it's better than leaving her with wet clothes for the night…right ? After the task was done and he had managed to get her in to one of his T-shirts and in to her white trousers he proceeded to bring her wet clothes to the bathroom, and placed them in the washing machine, not to forget to wash them tomorrow.

Then he made his way back to her room, trying to fight of some inappropriate images that were occupying his mind. It proved to be quite futile. He sighed and went over to Meyrin, placing a hand on her forehead. At least it seemed that she didn't have a fever at this moment.

After that Athrun went to the bathroom and tended to his wound. It was quite deep, and it bled quite heavily. After placing several layers of bandages and a patch on it he was finally satisfied. Then he made his way to Meyrin's room to check on her last time before going to sleep himself.

He stopped at that thought, while watching Meyrin. What if…what if she tries to run away again…or…or…he felt his heart ache at the thought of Meyrin slipping over the railing… After a bit of hesitation he slowly got on the bed, laying down beside Meyrin, and placed his hand around her. This time, I won't let you go, Meyrin…please, stay…

Cagali was nervously walking back and forth in the hospitals waiting room, growling something about doctors taking so long and them being lazy and incompetent. Lacus was quietly sitting on a chair, her head bowed down. She had been sitting like that without saying a word for the last two hours.

It has been three hours since they brought in Kira. A doctor stepped out of the examination room and approached the two ladies. Cagali looked at him with a look that said 'finally', Lacus raised her worried gaze from the floor and looked at the doctor.

"Well, how is he ?" Hope he is ok, so I can pound him in to oblivion myself. She froze at the doctors words, as did Lacus.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news"

A/N:

Wee, another chappie done. Personally I don't like this one too much, I couldn't get the Athrun/Lacus conversation done the way I wanted to (sad face)

And don't ask me how Athrun found out that Meyrin's underwear is also soaked :D.

Anyway, hope i'm still bearable, I have a fire extinguisher somewhere nearby, so flame away :D R&R please