The Clown and the Author
Welcome to the final chapter of the clown and the author! I apoligise again for killing off 5 of the characters. But just keep reading this story and I promise you won't regret it. Enjoy!
Dislcaimer: I dont own One Piece. If I did then Smoker wouldn't have been renamed in the english dub and he'd keep all of his cigars. In fact he'd have even more cigars!
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Buggy's Ship, The Dungeons...
Matt was writing in the dungeons with Alvida behind him with her mace. Mohji ran downstairs.
"Buggy wants the kid to make him 500 feet tall" said Mohji.
"You! Make him tall!" ordered Alvida as she jabbed Matt with her club.
Matt began to write something.
"And don't screw with him!" said Alvida "You may be able to make him lose but but you can still do other things!"
"Yes, Alvida I know already" said Matt "You don't need to tell me that everytime I get an order"
Matt wrote down "Then suddenly, Buggy became 500 feet tall"
A loud crashing noise was heard from outside. Cabaji burst in.
"Buggy changed his mind, he wants to be normal size" said Cabaji.
"Fine" said Matt as he rolled his eyes. "Then Buggy went back to normal size"
"Tell me Alvida" said Matt "The jinx on this paper, does it protect you?"
"No it doesn't" said Alvida.
"Does it protect Mohji, Cabaji or Ritchie?" asked Matt.
"No" said Alvida "Well, it protects Ritchie from been dropped off a large building"
"Fancinating" said Matt as he wrote something down.
"What are you writing?" asked Alvida as she grabbed the paper.
"And for some reason, Alvida, Mohji, Cabaji and Ritchie poofed away to Antartica"
"YOU!" shouted Alvida as she lifted her mace to smash Matt.
POOF!
Alvida vanished in a puff of smoke.
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Outside...
"WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Buggy as Mohji, Cabaji and Ritchie vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Uh..." said Usopp "Aha! That is the true power of the great captain Usopp! Leave this ship before I do away with you as well!"
"Is he telling the truth?" thought Buggy "This guy lies a lot. But how else could they disappear like that? Unless... no I doubt that. It must be needle-nose. I better take him out before he takes me out"
"DIE!" said Buggy as he pulled out a dagger and shot it at Usopp with hand.
"BARA BARA CANNON!" shouted Buggy.
"EEP!" screamed Usopp as he dodged the knife.
The knife went right past him and headed straight for Nami.
"Damn you Usopp!" screamed Nami as the knife charged at her.
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Back at the dungeons...
Matt laughed at what he had done.
"Now to stop the clown" said Matt as he grabbed the paper from the ground.
Suddenly, Luffy burst through the wall.
"Gomu Gomu Spear!" shouted Luffy as he smashed Matt in the face with his hands.
"Ow! What the hell is wrong with you?" said Matt "I'm trying to help you here!"
"You killed Zoro!" said Luffy.
"And um... I killed Sanji as well" said Matt.
Luffy eyes glinted a little brighter with anger.
"And um... Robin, Franky, Chopper and I'm pretty sure Nami and Usopp are dead as well" said Matt.
Luffy aimed his arms up for another attack.
"Luffy wait! I want to help!" said Matt "Let me write just one sentence. I may not be able to make Buggy lose but it doesn't mean I cant get him to leave. I just have to write that he wins and then everyone comes back to life when he leaves"
"Why should I trust you?" asked Luffy.
"Because you always trust people" said Matt "Don't I deserve a chance?"
"I guess" said Luffy.
"Thank you" said Matt as he raised a pen to the paper "By the way, how did you get out of those chains?"
"I'm not sure" said Luffy "I always just manage to escape"
"Interesting" said Matt as he wrote one word then shouted in pain.
"Whats wrong?" asked Luffy.
"My hand..." said Matt "I've got a serious hand cramp. You... you have to write the ending..."
"Ok" said Luffy as he went for the pen.
"Wait!" said Matt as he pulled the pen "I wasn't serious when I said I wanted you to write it!"
"Well who else is there?" asked Luffy.
"We could... maybe..." said Matt trying to think of someone, anyone, to write the story instead of Luffy "Well... fine. Luffy, but remember, only write up an ending where Buggy wins and then leaves. Then I'm sure my hand will be better, then I'll heal everyone"
"Deal!" said Luffy as he started to write.
Matt looked at what Luffy wrote when he was done.
"Perfect!" said Matt "Now he's forever trapped in a world of plot-holes and spelling errors!"
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Outside...
Usopp was running for his life from Buggy.
"Dont kill me! Dont kill me! Don't kill me! Don't kill me! DON"T KILL ME!" screamed Usopp in fear as he kept running.
Usopp kept running until he tripped. Buggy walked up to Usopp with a dagger.
"Don't kill me!" said Usopp "I'll do anything you want! I'll clean your entire ship! I'll make it squeaky clean!"
"Squeak!" said Buggy "SQUEAK!"
"Uh-oh" said Usopp as he realized that Buggy had misundersood something that had nothing to do with his nose.
"MY NOSE SQUEAKS YOU SAY?" screamed Buggy "JUST A RED SQUEAKY NOSE? YOU SHALL DIE!"
Buggy placed the dagger in between his fingers.
"BARA BARA CANNON!" shouted Buggy as he shot Usopp with his dagger-arm.
Usopp of course didn't survive the attack. Which is when Luffy's ending takes life.
"Bugge laughed as he had doofeated everyone in the croo. "HAHAHA!" he laughed. And then for no raisun he climbed into a cannon and blasted himself away into the waiter."
"The evil clown am winnining again!" said Buggy "I am the greetest! And now I'm leaving this chip, for no raisun!"
With that, Buggy climbed into a cannon on his ship and blasted himself away.
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The dungeons...
"My hand feels better now" said Matt "Let's go upstairs to heal everyone"
Luffy and Matt walked upstairs and boarded the Merry Go.
"Now this is nasty!" said Matt as he looked at the carnage.
"Ooh!" said Luffy as he went over to the Chopper stew "This looks good!"
"Stay away from Chopper!" said Matt as he began to write something.
"For a reason that will not be explained, everyone came back to life. And Buggy's ship sunk to the bottom of the oceon"
The words faded and everyone came back to life.
"Am I going to be let out of this cage!" screamed Nami.
"In due time" said Zoro.
"There's something I want to know" said Matt "I wonder what happened to Alvida, Mohji, Cabaji and Ritchie?"
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Somewhere in Antartica...
"Where are we?" asked Alvida.
"How should I know?" asked Cabaji.
"Look!" said Mohji "Rescue dogs!"
Alvida and Cabaji turned to see two pack-wolves in front of them.
"Grrrrrrrrrr" growled to first dog "Translation: I hunger for human meat"
"Grrrrrrrrrr" growled the second dog "Translation: I also hunger for human meat"
The two wolves advanced on the circus crew.
"I like where this is going!" said Mohji.
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Back at the ship...
Matt had gotten a life boat and boarded it.
"Goddbye my friends!" said Matt "I wish you good luck for the future!"
"Bye!" said said the crew.
"I have one thing to do before I leave" said Matt as he scrunched up the enchanted paper and threw it into the oceon "Farewell!"
Matt pulled out the sail and set off.
"I don't think that's the last we've heard of him" said Zoro "I think we'll meet again"
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Meanwhile, under the oceon...
Arlong, Hachan, Kuroobi, Chu and Mohmoo were walking across the oceon floor.
"Once we find the straw-hat crew we'll have our revenge!" said Arlong.
"How?" asked Hachan.
"I'm not sure yet" said Arlong "Any ideas?"
"What about enchanted paper?" asked Chu.
"Good idea" said Arlong "But even if we get enchanted paper, none of us can read or write"
"Look!" said Hachan as he pointed up "What's that up there?"
The Fishmen looked up and saw a piece of paper floating down.
"It looks like enchanted paper" said Arlong as he grabbed it "Good thing that enchanted paper doesn't get wet in water"
"We can use the paper to beat the straw-hat crew!" said Kuroobi.
"But we need an author first" said Chu.
Suddenly, Mohmoo's head perked up and pointed it's tail at a small ship above the group of mermen.
"A lifeboat? What's so important about that?" asked Hachan.
Arlong's saw-nose perked up
"I smell an author" said Arlong.
"So what should we do?" asked Hachan.
"AFTER THE AUTHOR!" shouted Arlong as he charged towards the lifeboat.
The End?
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I hope you enjoyed that! Now I know what your thinking, and the answer is yes. I did make a reference to the futurama episode "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid". Also, something interesting is that techniclly, Buggy did win in this story, because he got revenge on the crew, even though they came back to life. So anyway, drive home safely, and for the love of God, reveiw!