AN: Hmm… I don't really have much to say, only that I can't wait for winter so I can snowboard… Okay, enjoy the fic… XD

Misato's car en route to NERV…

One day had passed since that eventful morning. Life has pretty much returned to normal for Misato, except she keeps a closer eye on Shinji.

-Flashback-

"My father left me, my mother disappeared and Sakae died… Misato… you're not going to disappear too, are you?"

Misato stared at Shinji, still trying to take in his confessions. It was almost too much, Shinji led a dynamic life before EVA. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him, on top of losing his mother and being abandoned his girlfriend died and he has a dead man on his conscience. After a few minute's of contemplating she decided to take action. Misato knelt down next to him.

"I won't leave you Shinji, you are like the son I never had."

Shinji looked up slowly, making eye contact. He then broke down, crying out the welled up tears of unhealed wounds. Misato hugged him tightly. "Don't worry Shinji, I won't go away"

-End Flashback-

Misato had Shinji go to school that day, since he would be surrounded by people he would be less likely to do something stupid. Also she ordered increased surveillance on Shinji. What was on her mind now though was the conversation she and Ritsuko had last night.

-Flashback-

"I think I resolved the problem for now, he seems a little better but I feel he is still holding back"

"I would expect that, after all trust is a two way street."

"Huh?"

/sigh/ "For him to trust you, you need to trust him"

"I'm still new to this guardian stuff"

"You volunteered for it"

"Yeah yeah…"

"How about I visit tonight?"

"Sure, I'll cook my famous curry!"

"Sounds good, bye"

"Bye"

-End Flashback-

School…

Shinji lay his head down on his arm, the sounds of the classroom seemingly melded into a single continuous buzz. His eyes were blank, his brow furrowed slightly in thought. (Misato… said she wouldn't leave me, like I was her son) An image of Sakae's lifeless eyes passed through his mind (But… It'll end up as pain in the end) The man he shot (And I end up hurting others…) –Flashback- "At the hospital… my sister got crushed under some rubble. Goddamnit that pilot was so stupid!"-End Flashback

Shinji turned his attention towards the windows, seeing if anything distracting was happening. His eyes roved over Rei's seat. (She's not here today, not surprising) As he stared at her desk his thoughts wandered to the first child. (Ayanami Rei, first child. Pilot of EVA 00. Quiet. Blue hair) (I don't know anything about her)

The sensei's second impact ramblings continued no one listened however. He doubted that even class rep cared about second impact. Shinji turned his attention toward the clock. He could swear the hand moved backward for a second. Shinji let out a small sigh and closed his eyes.

-Dream-

Shinji found himself in a park. He was sitting on a wooden bench, a few meters away from a small boy in a sandbox. (This seems… familiar…) Shinji watched as a girl approached the boy. They reached a mutual agreement and both were busily building a sandcastle. Shinji unconsciously smiled, the scene before him stirred many old emotions within him. Suddenly a voice startled him. "Hey, mister?" He saw the little girl and boy stand next to him. They were focusing on him, as if expecting Shinji to accomplish some amazing feat.

"Uhm yeah?"

The little girl spoke "Your smile is so empty, it hurts to watch you"

Shinji felt a tinge of anger.

"It's like your hurting badly and grinning to hide it" The little boy added.

The anger grew into rage.

"That's how it looked to me" She finished

He soon had the girl's throat in his hands. Suddenly a strong wind picked up and the landscape changed. Shinji looked up and noticed it was nighttime. When he looked back down he saw Sakae's eyes seemingly piercing into his heart, then they became void of life. Shinji looked to his left and saw a gun pointed at his head.

-End Dream-

Shinji awoke to the sound of the dismiss bell, signaling the end of another school day. He walked by himself back home, as usual. Honestly he didn't mind, he was more comfortable this way. However humans were not meant to live alone. Our identity, our sense of worth and the character of our maturity are all shaped by the quality of our deep bonds with significant others.

Apartment…

"Tadaima…" Shinji kicked off his shoes and went into his room, locking the door. He lay his satchel on his desk and fell on his bed, reminiscing on the dream he had. (I'm just a killer…)

"Shinji, Ritsuko will be here in half an hour so help me clean up here." Misato yelled

Shinji slowly sat up and yelled back "Okay…"

Half an hour later…

The blonde scientist gave the curry a strange look, "Ugh, what is this? You're still eating that instant stuff?"

"Hey! You're a guest so you have no right to complain" Misato shook her beer can at Ritsuko.

"Misato, don't you want any?" Shinji asked.

"Oh, slop some of that stuff into here" Misato revealed an instant ramen cup.

Ritsuko looked half surprised and disgusted "You can't be serious"

"Oh you should try it, it's super yummy! The trick is to add less water so the sludge forms."

Shinji and Ritsuko eyed the curry suspiciously then lifted a small spoonful towards their mouths. The room was soon filled with coughing and a rush towards the bathroom. "Hey! I spent at least half an hour on this meal. You should be grateful!" Misato huffed.

Ritsuko made her way back to the table. "You know Shinji, you shouldn't let one bad room mate ruin your life." Shinji walked back from the sink. "Ah, I'm used to it now"

Misato had a dignified air "Don't underestimate the human animal Ritsuko, besides… Shinji can you get me another beer?… He just got his permanent security card"

"Oh, that reminds me…" Ritsuko dug into her bag. "Can you deliver Rei's new security card to her. I keep forgetting."

"Um, can't somebody else do it?" Classic evasion technique. Ritsuko would have none of it however. "Nonsense Shinji, you can go right now" /sigh/ "Okay I'll do it…"

Apartment 402…

Shinji stopped in front of her door. There were various mail articles shoved into the slot. (She lives all the way out here in the construction zone?) He pressed her doorbell. (Must be broken) "Okay Ayanami, I'm coming in." Shinji paused when he opened the door. Almost everything was covered in a fine layer of dust, not much sunlight penetrated the drawn blinds. (This place is worse than Misato's apartment…)

He took off his shoes at the door way and made his way slowly towards a room up ahead. Bloody bandages lay in a box in the corner. An orange pill bottle and a glass of water sat on a nightstand, the dust making the water slightly cloudy. Shinji continued to scan the room. A wrinkled school uniform lay upon an unkempt bed, even some undergarments lay here and there.

Shinji felt a pair of eyes on his back. He turned around slowly to see Rei. Out of the shower. With a well placed towel. Time seemed to slow, minutes turned into hours. She paused for a moment then walked past him. His mind started working again and reminded him of the task he was given. "Hey, Rei?" She proceeded to dress herself, Shinji didn't realize he was watching until a minute passed. "Uh um… I'm supposed to give you your new security card" Now fully dressed she turned around and walked toward him. For a moment Shinji made eye contact. A moment was all that was needed though as a sudden rush of images flooded his head.

(Those eyes…) He grasped his head, dropping the card. "What, what the hell!" (Sakae. Her eyes. Her smile. Their kiss.) "Stop! Please" Shinji gasped as a new image invaded his mind. (Her lifeless eyes) He let out a scream and passed out.

-Dream-

Shinji…Shinji! Wake up, Quick!

Shinji's eyes opened slowly. A blue sky, and many cherry blossoms are carried gently by the wind. Sakae was looking down at him. "Hey, you feel asleep on my lap." Shinji blushed and sat up quickly. "Um, sorry"

Sakae smiled. "It's okay Shinji, you are so cute when you sleep"

He blushed and sat next to her. Sakae spoke up first. "You seem troubled Shinji"

He stared at the lake several meters away. "No, not really"

She giggled "You know, you're a bad liar." Her face turned serious. "You're not turning into your old self now are you?"

"It's easier that way" Shinji paused for a moment "I lost everything once, I don't want to see the people I care about die in front of me"

"Sometimes Shinji, you have to lose something to get something." She turned towards him with a smile on her face. "Because we were alone, we met each other. Isn't that right?"

-End Dream-

Shinji's eyes flew open. He had a pounding headache. Next he realized he was laying on something soft. (I must've all been a dream). "You seem to be in satisfactory health Ikari" Rei's voice came from above him. He looked up and saw her leaning over him. Then he realized he was resting in her lap. He blushed and stood up quickly. Quick movements made his headache worse however. "Um, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to walk in because I didn't know you were here and…"

"We are needed at NERV" Rei interrupted. An emergency klaxon sounded. She stood up and walked out the door, leaving Shinji behind. (He talks too much)

NERV bridge…

Misato stared at the screen (Hmm… the fifth angel)

The technicians went through various procedures.

"The target is now intruding into Lake Ashino air space."

"Eva Unit One is ready for launch."

"Launch Eva!"

The angel detected an approaching AT field and began charging a particle beam.

"We're detecting a high-energy reaction inside the target."

"What'd you say!"

"The energy charge is accelerating and massing upon itself!"

Misato slightly panicked "Look out!"

"Huh?" The building in front of him melted as he rose up. An agonized scream echoed throughout the building.

"No, Shinji! Retrieve him!"

Misato looked at the video feed. Blood mixed with the LCL, making it cloudy. "Take command here Ritsuko, I'm going to the cages."

(Come on hurry up) Misato watched as Shinji was pulled out of the cockpit. Blood slowly trickled from his nose. "Shinji…" She watched him get wheeled towards emergency room. Misato let out a sigh.

Gendo's office…

"You plan to use a sniper to shoot the angel from outside it's firing range?" Fuyutsuki wore an incredulous look.

"Yes sir. Instead of neutralizing the target's AT field I believe we will be more successful with a focused high energy beam."

"What do the Magi say?"

"Our probability of success is 8.7"

"I see no reason to reject your plan. You may proceed." Gendo interjected

After Misato left, Fuyutsuki spoke to the Commander. "What if your son refuses to pilot?"

Gendo had on a small smile "He will pilot, Shinji already has sufficient motivation"

NERV hospital…

Shinji was floating on the border between asleep and awake. He dreamed bittersweet dreams of the what if's and the could have beens. His sleep was interrupted by the sound of a cart being wheeled in. Opening his eyes and finally feeling fully awake Shinji felt like somebody let a breeze into his room. (Unfamiliar ceiling…) He felt a pair of eyes observing him, Shinji turned to his left to see a familiar girl.

He then faced forward again. Rei was unfazed as she began explaining the battle plan. Shinji barely listened, his thoughts focused elsewhere. "Here is your new plug suit" Rei tossed the plastic package at his lap.

"Do I have to pilot EVA again?"

"If you do not, I will. Ritsuko is prepared to rewrite the personal data files"

Shinji stared at the plug suit, as if it were a something repulsive. "How do you do it, Ayanami?" He turned his head towards her. "How can you pilot?"

"I have nothing else" Rei turned to leave. She paused at the doorway. "Don't show up looking like that" Shinji blushed and quickly covered himself.

EVA cages…

Shinji stared at his EVA, his brow furrowed in thought. " Maybe this will be our last day alive..."

Rei stood next to him, also focusing on her EVA "Why would you say something like that?" She turned to face him. "You won't die… I'll be protecting you. Good bye"

NERV bridge…

"Listen up. Here are the battle plans for the operation. Shinji." Misato barked

"Yes?"

"Your Unit One will be the gunner."

"Right."

Misato turned to Rei "..and Rei, you will cover him with Unit Zero."

"Yes."

Ritsuko appeared with a clipboard "The reason for this arrangement, is because Shinji has a higher sync ratio with Unit One and this operation will require a high degree of precision."

Mt. Futago…

"Okay Shinji, you have to get this right on the first shot."

Shinji's hands were shaking "Uh, right"

"Countdown to firing. 10, 9, 8"

"There is a high energy output detected from the angel!"

"5, 4"

"Not now!"

"2, 1, 0"

Both beams headed straight for each other. As they neared their trajectories became intertwined and they veered off course. A huge explosion ensued.

"Replacing fuses. Barrel cooling in progress"

"Another energy mass is detected"

"Shinji! Look out!"

Shinji instinctively closed his eyes and waited for the impact, but it never came. He opened his eyes "Ayanami?" Her EVA held a large shield in front of it, however it was already melting. (Come on come on, hurry up!) In reality what may have been seconds seemed like an eternity as he waited for the gun to ready itself. Finally when the shot was fired he force ejected Rei's entry plug and manually opened it, burning his hands in the process.

He never really felt the pain, sure there was the initial feeling of many pinpricks so he flinched. However he continued. There was something, something about this girl that made it worth it. Why didn't he wait for help? He could easily just sit down and turn on his SDAT, ignoring his surroundings. However he felt like letting her die would betray someone very dear to him.

Shinji finally opened the hatch "Ayanami! Ayanami! Are you all right?"

Rei slowly opened her eyes and nodded. Her hands still embraced the EVA controls.

Tears snaked down his face, the warm salty liquid dripping into the LCL. "Don't say goodbye, before leaving on a mission. I-It's too sad."

Rei had a slightly confused look "I do not know what I should do or feel at a time like this."

Shinji wore an understanding smile "Try smiling. If not for yourself then for me"

Rei felt a new sensation, her inner being felt warm, as if the sun reached the depths of her heart. For once, she truly smiled.

AN: Well... well... review i guess... later