A/N:
Thanks for the reviews, I like them all :) I'm pleased that there are people that like my story, especially seeing how this is my first fic :D
So, here you go – chapter 7, hope you like it.
DISCLAIMER : I don't own anything from GS/GSD
Lacus slowly sat on her bed, battling the various emotions in her heart, trying to think straight for a moment. She was very shocked to learn about Kira's problem. She could have never guessed that the memories and the strange behavior he displayed at times could be a result of a cancer in his brain.
She laid back on the bed, her pink hair reaching in all directions and blankly stared at the ceiling. "Kira" she softly spoke, placing her hand on her chest, trying to hold back tears as she remembered the conversation with the doctor, and his explanation on the two outcomes the operation could lead to.
She was extremely worried about him, she could feel her heart race, as she held her hand on her chest.
"If his brain would be badly damaged already, the effect won't disappear, but will continue to get worse even after the cancer is removed. In other words, we are almost certain that the cancer's removal will be successful, but we have no idea if this will improve your brother's condition."
She felt tears gathering in her eyes as she remembered those words. Kira… you will be fine, right ? You… that won't happen to you, right ?You must be alright. He had to be alright. He just had to. He had always been. He had survived when Athrun self destructed Aegis in Kira's face.
He had survived in his battle against Rau. He had survived when Freedom was destroyed. He had survived both wars, while being in the thick of all it. He had survived the death of Fllay. After all that nothing like this will break him, right ? But what if it does ?
Lacus gasped at that thought and unconsciously grasped her dress on her chest. The words "If his brain would be badly damaged already, the effect won't disappear, but will continue to get worse even after the cancer is removed" deeply echoedin her heart and mind, leaving a trail of worries and fear.
Worse? What did the doctor mean by worse? How could it get any worse than this? Kira had already attacked a person – his own best friend. A picture of bleeding Athrun leaning against a wall, with unconscious Meyrin on his hands crossed her mind, making Lacus close her eyes, trying to hold back tears.
How could that be worse? Could…could Kira attack random people ? Could he attack Athrun again ?Or Meyrin ? Could… could he attack me ? Lacus wasn't worried about Athrun or Meyrin that much – she knew Athrun and knew he wouldn't hesitate to protect Meyrin and himself, and he was more than capable of doing so.
But… what if Kira would attack me… what would I do ? i…" She gasped as if realizing what she was thinking, placing her other hand on her chest. Stop thinking like that…why am I thinking of such horrible things ? After all, Kira will be fine. I know he will.
But why wasn't she with Kira now ? She had gone home without waiting for Kira to wake up, telling Cagali that she was tired. She was tired. But that would never keep her away. So why ? Truth is she just wanted to think. About herself and Kira.
She knew she loved him. She loved him a lot, she had loved him for well over two years now. She really liked to be with him. But she had never been sure about his feelings. He seemed to care for her. He was always there, supporting her, helping her.
But does he…love me ? She never knew that. To her it seemed like he acted more like a big brother of hers. He seemed to care for her deeply, but was that love ? She wasn't sure of that. And the fact that Athrun had said that Kira most likely doesn't, didn't help matters either. She knew he was hurt deeply by Fllay's death.
She understood he needed time to get over that. She was ready to wait, ready to stay by his side to help him get over it, in any way possible. Remembering her talk with Athrun Lacus smiled sadly, closing her eyes.
She reminded herself of Meyrin in a way – she always stayed with Kira, just like Meyrin had always stayed with Athrun. She had always stayed by Kira's side, and he hadn't pushed her away, meaning he didn't mind her being there. Just like Meyrin and Athrun. But she could tell that Athrun had feelings for Meyrin, he just couldn't understand that because of his past.
But she was not sure of Kira's feelings. She could not read him, unlike she could do with Athrun. The only person who probably could read Kira was Athrun. And he had said that Kira probably doesn't love her. Probably… but that doesn't mean certainly, right ?
She remembered Athrun walking away, carrying Meyrin in his arms – in the end he seemed to have chosen her, he had chosen to get over his past. Lacus took off her dress and slipped under the blanked and placed her head on her soft pillow, a small smile on her beautiful face.
She really did seem like Meyrin in a way. And in the end Athrun had chosen to let go of his past and be with Meyrin. Maybe… maybe Kira will also let go of his past and will walk towards with her in his arms. She giggled a bit at the thought, feeling better. She decided to visit Kira tomorrow, to see how he is doing.
Lacus turned over to other side, hugging her pillow and slowly fell asleep, smiling to her self and her thoughts.
The guestroom had no windows, so the sun wasn't a problem this time. Athrun smirked at that thought, wondering why he hadn't simply bought curtains for the Meyrin's room. He decided that he will today. I wonder what color she would like… I guess its just better to take her with me and let her pick for herself – otherwise ill just pick something dumb.
But as things were now, he couldn't go to no shop, or anywhere at all for that matter. He had been awake for about a hour now and hadn't moved an inch. The reason was that Meyrin was still asleep, cuddling against his chest like a cat, and Athrun didn't want to disturb her.
His neck was a bit stiff from lying in an uncomfortable position, but at least Meyrin looked comfortable, and he sure could tolerate a stiff neck if that was what it took to make her happy. He was gently looking down on the sleeping Meyrin, while slowly stroking her hair, barely touching it, afraid to wake her.
He had no idea why he was doing it, but he liked to do that. Her red hair was soft and gentle, just like her personality. Athrun closed his emerald eyes and smiled deeply, realizing how much he actually liked this peaceful moment of his life. He had always been on a rush. When he was engaged to Lacus he had barely the time to see her.
He was always busy with missions and battles, he was busy fighting a war. No wonder that I ended up nowhere with Lacus, I barely had any time to see her once in a while. I was always away, busy killing people and destroying what I believed was the enemy. No wonder she couldn't love someone who came to see her once in month for few hours, only to be going to the next bloodshed later.
No wonder she chose Kira. The sudden question that Lacus had asked him about Kira's feelings made him uneasy. Athrun wasn't sure he had done the right thing to give Lacus the answer he did. It's not that he doubted the answer. Why did she ask me ? It's not like it's hard to figure out Kira. He never hides his feelings.
But still she had asked. And he knew the answer he gave hurt her. Despite her ability to hide her feelings it was obvious how deeply she cared for Kira. But he was certain that Kira, despite caring for her, didn't love her. He never seemed to be able to get that girl out of his head. Kira…
Athrun's eyes narrowed thinking about his old friend, as he felt the wound on his arm ache a bit. He had no idea what had gotten in to Kira, but he sure didn't like it. I'll make sure to call Lacus later and ask her about this. Lacus… I hope she is alright…
Athrun opened his eyes and took in a deep breath. Thinking about Kira made him upset and angry, and he didn't want that now. He looked at Meyrin and soft smile slowly returned to his face. Yes, war had gotten in his way when he was with Lacus. War and country had gotten in his way when he was with Cagali.
All that was gone now, it didn't exist. There was no war this time, he had no obligations to fulfill, had no fights to fight. He was finally given the opportunity to live in pace, which was robbed from his childhood. Now he had all the time in the world, and the beautiful young girl lying against his chest, small smile on her lips. She seemed happy to be there.
And he was happy as well. For the first time he had the chance to live a normal life, and he felt that he will truly enjoy it. It had been a while since he had been able to lay down and have no worries at all, without having to think about anything in particular. And he loved the feeling, just as he loved the girl lying in his arms.
Athrun was surprised at himself that he had said that to her yesterday, but he was glad he did. He had always kept quiet when he should have said something, and he was glad he had said the words he did. He was sure he was not wrong to say them.
Meyrin slowly moved and turned to her other side, making some of her hair fall on to her face. Athrun gently brushed her hair aside, afraid to wake her in the process. She had her hair straight down instead of the usual pigtails, and he had to admit it suited her. She looked really beautiful like this. Of course she looked good with her pigtails as well, but Athrun liked this better.
He slowly slid his hand trough her hair, once again amazed how soft and gentle it was. "Mmmmm" Meyrin slowly opened her eyes a bit and yawned sleepily, then slowly turned her head while rubbing one eye with her hand, still looking oblivious to her surroundings.
Athrun smiled at the sight, remembering how sleepy Meyrin was during mornings. "Good morning, Meyrin" he spoke with a soft voice, taking his hand off her hair.
"A… Athrun ?" Meyrin sleepily asked, stopping to rub her eye and looked up at Athrun, her vision still a bit blurry. She could hear his steady heartbeat. Heartbeat… Realizing her head was resting on Athrun's chest she quickly sat up with a little yelp, looking a bit scared.
"Athrun, i'm very sorry, i…"
Athrun's eyes widened in surprise at her words. "Sorry? For what?"
"I..i must have fallen asleep yesterday while resting against you…sorry. I…I didn't mean to use you as a pillow" She bowed down her head, looking sad and worried.
Athrun just sighed and put his hand on her shoulder, forcing her to look up at him. For a moment from her looks he had thought it would be something serious. The thought that she had used him as a pillow didn't upset him at all, quite contrary. Why does she always find something to apologize for? Especially about things I don't mind at all.
Now that he thought about it, she had never apologized for something he would have been upset about in the slightest. Not that he had ever been upset with her about anything in the first place. He looked in to her salty-blue eyes and smiled at her.
"Why do you think I would be upset about that? I didn't mind at all." Actually, I guess I liked it. Unexpected to him Meyrin suddenly lied back against his chest, gripping his shirt, as if being afraid that he would disappear.
"Athrun, i…I was scared. I thought that it was only a dream…I … it was too good to be true."
Relieved look on his face Athrun placed his hands around her and placed his head on hers, and spoke with a soft voice "Meyrin, I told you yesterday that it is not a dream. I'm not going to disappear anywhere, and neither will you, so please, don't worry, ok ? You have cried far too much already."
Meyrin nodded and seemed to have calmed down, so Athrun let go of her. She was a bit disappointed to feel his arms leave her but she was happy about the thing he had just said. First of all she was happy that this hadn't turned out to be a dream after all. She was afraid that the thing that happened yesterday was not real – it seemed to be too perfect to be real.
And the words that Athrun had just said – that really meant he didn't want her to leave. She was happy to hear that, which was shown on her face. Noticing that Athrun smiled in relief and kissed her on a cheek, making her blush wildly. He once again couldn't help but note how cute she looked when she blushed.
He got up from the sofa and stretched, massaging his stiff neck. "Meyrin, why don't you go and take a shower, ill make us a breakfast. After that we will go shopping if you don't have anything else planned, ok?"
Meyrin was about to protest that she should be the one to make breakfast, but the second part made her confused. "Shopping?" she nodded her head to the right slightly, looking at Athrun with confused look. Athrun nodded and looked back at her with his emerald eyes.
"I think it's about time we get some curtains for your room, that should solve the sun problem in the mornings. I really don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Sorry. Besides " he turned his head to side and blushed slightly "we can go get you some more clothes, so you can have a bigger choice of what to wear. I…its not that I don't like what you wear, it's just that…I thought you might like that, sorry."
Meyrin continued to look at him with confusion on her face for a short moment, then a smile replaced the confused look. Of course she loved shopping, especially since she rarely, if ever had the time to go shopping during the war.
She stood up and went over to Athrun and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Athrun. You are sweet." Athrun blushed at that comment. No one had ever called him sweet.
"Um… it's no problem…really…"
"But, you must let me do one thing" she said with a serious voice.
Athrun raised an eyebrow and looked her in to the eyes. "What's that ?"
Meyrin crossed her arms on her chest and took a serious stance and look on her face. "I will be the one to make breakfast I should do at least something for you".
Athrun stared at her for a few moments, then he started to chuckle. "Fine, I surrender" he lifted his hands in the air, backing away one step. He was being playful. Something you don't see every day. A memory of him and Meyrin going to the restaurant came back to him. "But there is one thing, Meyrin".
It was Meyrin's turn to look at the blue haired boy with a questioning look. "Yes?" She asked while nodding her head to the right a bit. Athrun had noticed she had a habit of doing so when she was unsure of something.
"You better not be planning on paying for the curtains or anything else we might buy for that matter, ok ? "
Meyrin bowed her head slightly to hide that her cheeks had gained a light shade of pink. Actually she had been thinking of it. "But, Athrun, i…"
Athrun quickly stepped forward and placed his finger on her lips, once again noticing how cute she looks when she blushes. He looked down at her and smiled, gently moving his hand from her lips and placing it on her cheek, and looked in to her eyes.
"Please, Meyrin. It's the very least I can do. There is no need to worry about things like these, ok ?"
Meyrin felt heat rising in her cheeks, and not because of the talk, but because Athrun's hand rested on her cheek. "Athrun, i…' she stopped when she almost pleading look in Athrun's eyes.
She didn't like the idea that she is living in his house and getting her stuff for his money. But Athrun seemed upset every time when she tried to pay for something herself, and the last thing she wanted is for him to be upset, so she simply decided to agree with him on this matter. She didn't know what to say, so she simply nodded her head, and smiled a little when she saw Athrun's face filled with relief.
"but I still get to make the breakfast, so you can go take the shower, Athrun. I will prepare something in the time." Meyrin looked up, placing a finger on her chin, as if thinking something, then she turned her attention to Athrun again. "Um, what would you like for breakfast ?"
The question left Athrun surprised. He had never specified anything about their food and she had never asked, and honestly he didn't care much, since everything that she made was good. Athrun shrugged and looked at Meyrin in a surprised manner. "Anything you make will be fine…um… why did you ask all of a sudden ?"
Meyrin turned her head aside, clearly embarrassed. "I…um…I just wanted to do something…for you. You are so nice to me…and I haven't done anything for you…so…"
"Meyrin, anything is fine. You can make pancakes or something. I'll go take that shower now, ok ?"
"Yes." Meyrin nodded and seemingly happy over the fact that Athrun had specified something he would like, hurried to the kitchen. Athrun watched as the red haired girl go out of the room and sighed heavily, then turned around and started to walk upstairs to the bathroom.
Will she ever stop thinking like she is in debt to me? Haven't done anything for me …?I wonder how many times I have told her that she has done more for me than anyone else. It makes me feel uncomfortable when she acts like that…" Athrun rolled his eyes and sighed again before entering the bathroom.
After he had finished all his morning procedures Athrun moved downstairs towards the kitchen. Once he got there he noticed that Meyrin was already done with the pancakes and now was setting up the table for him. Athrun thanked her and sat down at the table and Meyrin was about to proceed to wash the dishes she had used while making the pancakes.
Athrun shot a surprised glare at her. "Aren't you also going to eat?"
Meyrin turned to face Athrun and looked at the surprised blue haired boy. "I...um… I was short on flour so… I could only make one portion of pancakes. But don't worry, I will be fine, I wasn't that hungry anyway." She happily added and looked in to Athrun's eyes. For some reason they were widened and he was staring at her. "Um…Athrun, are you ok ?"
Athrun sat there blankly staring at Meyrin, slowly processing the thing she had just said. Then he rested his forehead in his hand, placing his elbow on the table and sighed heavily, while shaking his head. After staying like that for a while, with surprised Meyrin looking at him, he slowly stood up and got another plate out of the shelf.
He walked back to the table and placed half the pancakes from his plate on the other one, then placed the plate on the table and turned to Meyrin, who stood there, obviously confused by his actions. "Meyrin, there is no reason for you not to eat also. You think I would feel better after eating the whole thing while knowing that you didn't eat anything?"
Sometimes Athrun couldn't help but wonder how she comes up with the things she does. And this was one of those times. He would rather have her eat all the pancakes and none himself, not the other way around.
Meyrin looked away, embarrassed at the situation. "I… I just… wanted for you to be happy…and…"
Athrun's eyes widened again, as he was listening to what Meyrin was saying. And she actually thought that I would be happy if I would eat while she stays on empty stomach ? … "Meyrin, if you want that, then please have breakfast with me, ok ?" he looked at Meyrin with a pleading manner, while holding back a chair for her.
Meyrin just couldn't resist that look of his. The fact that she was hungry didn't help either. And as long as Athrun said that it would make him happy… She sat down on the chair that Athrun was holding back for her and thanked him, while blushing slightly at the situation she had created.
Athrun, obviously content that Meyrin didn't try to 'explain' her actions anymore sat down to have breakfast with Meyrin. She was thinking about the shopping trip with Athrun and that got her excited. Partially because she liked shopping, partially because it was with Athrun. She honestly didn't care where they would go, as long as he would be there.
Athrun had no idea what Meyrin was thinking, but she seemed to have cheered up, and that caused him self to feel better. They didn't talk during the breakfast, and after they were done Meyrin was about to wash the dishes again, but was stopped by two hands wrapping around her from behind.
"Athrun?" she asked with surprise in her voice, while turning back her head to take a look at Athrun.
Athrun smiled at her, looking in to her salty-blue eyes. "Meyrin, just go take that shower, ill handle the dishes, it's not like you have to do everything around here. Besides, we can go shopping faster this way."
Meyrin didn't argue this time. She wanted to go shopping as soon as possible. Plus being held by Athrun was too good to complain about anything at that moment anyway. Athrun let go of her and Meyrin nodded, before heading to the bathroom.
Athrun stood on the spot, his gaze following the red haired girl as she left the kitchen. Her selflessness never seized to amaze him. How a person could have spent a whole war, being the CIC on ZAFTs newest warship, and in the end remain so pure and selfless was beyond him. And that was one of the things that he liked in her so much.
When Meyrin got downstairs again Athrun was already waiting for her in the guestroom. "Ready to go?"
"Yes" Meyrin answered, bright smile on her face, clearly showing how pleased she was with this event. Athrun couldn't help but smile at himself seeing Meyrin so happy. He opened the door and held it open while Meyrin walked outside, then he locked the door and proceeded to holding his car's door open while Meyrin got in to the passenger seat.
It was a fast drive to the shopping centre , and they didn't talk much, since the traffic was heavy and Athrun was focusing on driving. After parking the car in the parking lot, Athrun held the door open again while Meyrin got out of the car. As they started to walk towards the shopping centre it looked like Meyrin was unsure of something for a second.
Then she quickly shuffled over to walk by Athrun's side, while turning her head and looking at Athrun, as if wanting to see if he would object. Athrun smiled at her in amusement when a thought this is the first time when she doesn't walk behind me, is it ?crossed his mind. Smiling at the thought Athrun gently took her elbow and they started to walk towards the entrance.
"So, where to first ?"
"Mhmm ?" was the only answer he got, so he looked at Meyrin, and it looked like her mind was someplace else. And it was – she was just thinking how nice it was to walk beside Athrun, him holding her had, like an actual couple. Couple? Are we a couple ? I …I hope we are…after all he said he …loves me. He said he wants me to stay. I sure hope he also wants us to be a couple…
"Meyrin?" This time Athrun's voice woke her up from her thoughts.
"I'm sorry…i… I was thinking of something, did you say something?" She looked up at Athrun, worried that he might be angry that she hadn't heard something he had said, but Athrun simply smiled down at her with a bright smile and tender look in his emerald eyes.
"Where do you want to go first ? We need to get those curtains for your room, looks like we need some groceries as well, and… something new for you to wear… if you want that of course" he quickly added, unsure how she felt about this. "And anything else you would like" he added, looking away from her, slightly embarrassed.
Relieved that Athrun wasn't upset Meyrin quickly returned to her excited and cheerful self. "Well… I think we can go get the curtains first, then … some clothes… and we can go for groceries at the end, if that is ok with you." Having said that she looked at Athrun in a questioning manner.
"Of course its fine, Meyrin. So, shall we go?" Meyrin nodded her head and clinched a bit harder to Athrun's hand, at what he smiled a bit and they proceeded to look for a place that sells curtains.
Meyrin had been running around the store for about half an hour, looking at all the curtains, trying to figure out which ones she likes and what color to pick, while excitedly telling Athrun how each color would blend in with the room and the rest of the house. She seemed perky today, and it suited her.
Athrun was looking how the red haired girl was running around the store, her eyes sparkling in excitement, as she was telling him about all the curtains. He wasn't really listening – fashion sense wasn't his biggest quality. He was simply watching Meyrin. Only time he had seen her this happy was on her birthday.
At least before that incident. If he could he wanted to make her feel as happy as possible, he didn't like it when she cried, and she had been crying far too much recently. His thoughts were interrupted by Meyrin.
"Athrun, do you like these ?" she asked, while pointing at dark blue curtains, about the same color as his hair.
Athrun nodded his head and looked at Meyrin. "They are fine. More importantly – do you like them ?"
Meyrin nodded her head and tried not to look guilty, which is how she felt inside, since she had chosen the most expensive ones in the store – not that she had noticed it in the beginning and not that Athrun cared any about it. At least he looked like he didn't, and Meyrin hoped that it is how he truly felt.
Actually Athrun didn't even notice the price, let alone compared it to others – he just paid for the curtains without paying much attention to the amount he was paying, took the bag with the curtains, and walked out of the store, while holding Meyrin's elbow with the free hand.
Next was the cloth shop – it was located just a few meters away, so they didn't have to look for it. Athrun was standing outside the dressing booth, while Meyrin was trying on another outfit. She really seemed to enjoy this little shopping trip, and Athrun was glad, though he was bored a little himself, but that didn't matter to him as long as Meyrin was having a good time.
"Athrun, what do you think?" Meyrin was asking him that each time she had put on a new outfit. He didn't know why she asked him, since he was sure his fashion sense was next to non existent.
Meyrin was wearing a short, black skirt that reached down almost to her knees, a light blue blouse whose sleeves ended without reaching the elbows. The top button was unbuttoned, revealing the small, golden, heart shaped necklace Athrun had given her as a present on her birthday, and black shoes. She twirled around two times to give Athrun a better look of the outfit.
Athrun couldn't help but stare at her. Simple clothes looked very good on her, and he had to admit he liked this one a lot better than all the previous outfits she had tried on, which included various dresses for most part. Noticing that Athrun isn't saying anything Meyrin nodded her head to right a bit and looked at Athrun.
"Athrun? Is it that bad ? I kind of liked it, but if you don't like it, I'll…"
Athrun walked up to her and leaned closer, whispering in to her ear. "You're beautiful, Meyrin" and kissed her on a cheek.
Meyrin blushed red like a tomato "I…um…thank you, Athrun" she stammered, while turning her head away, trying to hide her face, that looked like it could reach the color of her hair.
In the end she decided to keep the outfit. She liked it herself, and she certainly liked it since Athrun had said she looks beautiful in it. That wasn't the only thing they bought – Meyrin made Athrun to buy a green Hawaii shirt for himself, with pictures of palm trees all over it.
Athrun wasn't very pleased with the idea of him wearing something like that – he was very fond of his black jacket, and was wearing it despite the fact that it was summer. But he agreed to buy it, because, despite all his complaining of him not liking it, he had to admit that the shirt was quite comfortable, and he didn't want to upset Meyrin.
They finally walked out of the store, with Meyrin wearing her new outfit, and Athrun also kept the shirt on, since Meyrin had said that he looks cute in it. He had never thought that someone could think of him as cute, but he had to admit that he liked being called that, especially by the young girl who was clinging on to his hand, while they were walking towards their car, to place the bag of curtains and their old clothes there.
When they got rid of the bags they proceeded to buy some groceries. They ended up buying quite a lot, Meyrin even bought a raw turkey, whom she said she would cook later. Of course that had to be done with some begging to Athrun, who insisted she shouldn't do something like that just for him, but in the end he let her have her way.
They were walking back to the car again, with Athrun carrying four bags of groceries. Meyrin asked Athrun if he wants her to help him carry those, but seeing that Athrun seemed almost insulted by such a question she quickly dropped the subject. When they had placed the bags in their car, Athrun turned to Meyrin.
"Um, Meyrin, I was wondering… do you want to have a dinner? There is a nice, quiet café I the nearby park, and I was just wondering… would you like to have a dinner with me ? I mean… we have spent quite a while here, and it is past dinner time, and…"
"Y...yes, id love to." She quickly replied, her salty-blue eyes sparkling with surprise and happiness. He asked me out on a dinner? Without any specific reason ? Its almost like a date. She giggled at that thought, blushing slightly and quickly walked to Athrun's side. She was very happy to be able to walk by his side, and not behind him, as she had done until today.
They got to the café and ordered a table for two. Athrun held a chair for Meyrin, and then sat down to look at the menu. Meyrin made her order and with a smile on her face examined the blue haired boy in front of her. She just couldn't believe how suddenly things had changed in her life.
Few weeks ago she was just content that she was living in the same house as Athrun, and she was happy that she talked to him now and then and saw him few times a day. Few days ago it seemed to her she had lost him for ever… she even tried to… cold shivers passed down Meyrin's spine at the thought what she was about to do that evening.
And after then – everything had changed. Athrun had left Cagali, about which she felt a bit guilty about, but she couldn't help and feel happy that he did. He had told that he actually didn't love Cagali like he thought he did. She had her first kiss with Athrun – something she wouldn't even dare to dream about few days ago.
Remembering that moment, which happened just yesterday made her heart race a bit faster. He… he had told he loved her. She had fallen asleep in his arms, spending the night lying against his chest, and he wasn't upset about it at all. He had taken her shopping today, something she enjoyed immensely. And now he had invited her to have dinner with him.
This all felt like a dream to her, it was just too good for her. She didn't have anything in her life, she had nothing and never even expected for someone like Athrun to notice her. She had been happy for the possibility to love him from afar, never expecting the feelings to be returned by him, she wouldn't even dare to dream abut that.
And yet, ever since yesterday her dream seemed to become reality. She still couldn't understand what Athrun would like in her, but whatever it was, she was glad he did like her. Despite that she had nothing, aside from her dreams and hopes, he had noticed her and now they were a …couple ?
Meyrin really wished to think that. And Athrun clearly didn't give any reason to think otherwise. She was happy to be alive, and for the first time, she was happy to be who she is.
They were enjoying their dinner, talking about nothing in particular and laughing now and then. Athrun couldn't help but notice how happy Meyrin seemed. And he also noticed how happy and relaxed he felt.
I have really changed, haven't i? I rarely talked about anything but business, and I almost never laughed. And now i'm sitting in a café, eating a dinner with one of the most beautiful girls I have seen, aimlessly spending time and wearing a Hawaii shirt. Yzak would probably feint if he would see me now. Athrun chuckled at that thought.
He really had changed, and he felt it. And he liked the change, it was like he was becoming alive, getting out of the shell he had been sitting in during the war. He had become more talkative, more open. And he couldn't help but feel that it was mostly thanks to the red haired girl sitting across the table.
He wondered how she did that – all the sadness of war and death of his friends and family seemed to fade in her presence. She had some magic touch that helped to heal his shattered heart. He didn't know how she did that, but he knew one thing – he loved this girl, more than anything he had ever loved, just like Lacus had said he would. And he was happy that he did.
They finished the dinner in quiet, each drifting in their own thoughts, both thinking of the person in front of them. After they were done Athrun asked if Meyrin wants to take a walk in the park, which she gladly accepted.
They were walking around the park, with no particular destination. They were slowly walking side by side, holding hands, Meyrin resting her head on Athrun's shoulder. The blue haired coordinator was smiling. Athrun looked up at the sun, covering his eyes with his hand.
The sky was clear and sun shined brightly, a warm summer wind was running trough his hair, the aroma of various flowers was filling the air, and bird singing could be heard every now and then. He never though he could actually enjoy such things. Such simple, precious things in life. Peace.
"Thank you, Athrun" Meyrin quietly whispered in his ear.
Athrun slowly turned his head and looked at the obviously happy Meyrin, who was looking at him with sparkling eyes.
"For what ?" he asked, surprised by the sudden thanks he received.
"For everything." Meyrin smiled at him, placing her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "I'm so happy, Athrun. I…I never even dreamed for this to happen. I never thought you would even… notice me. It was but a small hope I had in my heart…i… thank you." She quickly wiped away a tear that was about to form in her eye.
Athrun placed his hands around her waist and leaned his head against hers. "I'm sorry, I have acted like a fool once again. I'm sorry I showed you so little attention during those five months… i…i'm just a fool. Sorry. I'm truly thankful for everything you have done. i…i'm happy that you are here with me now."
Meyrin turned towards Athrun and looked in to his big, emerald eyes. They seemed to be filled with sadness and happiness at the same time. She looked in to those eyes and once again thought that this is just too good to be true. She felt like she could cry again from happiness, and from the fear that the dream might end. She had always felt insecure, unsure of herself, and this time was no different.
"A…Athrun, i... you …you wouldn't leave me,… would you ?" Her eyes were watering again. The thought that Athrun might disappear was too much for her to bear. She didn't want that to happen. Her heart felt like it could crumble from the thought alone.
"Meyrin…" Athrun slowly pulled her tighter to him, while looking in to her sad eyes with a loving gaze, sad smile on his face. "I told you…i'm not going to disappear… I don't want to. I promise I wont…ok ? Please, don't cry. I want you to be happy, not sad."
He didn't like to see her like this. She seemed so strong at times, but at other times it seemed likes she could crumble at any moment. And he wanted to prevent that, no matter what.
Meyrin calmed down at his words. It felt safe in his arms, and his words put her worried heart to rest. She knew Athrun was a man who didn't make promises lightly, and the fact that he didn't want to disappear either made her smile. She didn't even know why she felt so insecure for a moment there. It made her feel ashamed of herself.
"Athrun, i'm sorry. I…I shouldn't have said that. Its just that… you are the only thing I have… sorry."
Athrun felt relieved when he saw her smile again. He didn't want her to disappear either. He wouldn't let that happen. No matter what. Too many things have disappeared from my life…i…I wont let you disappear also, Meyrin.
He slowly placed his hand on her cheek and looked her in to the eyes. She seemed happy again. He would make sure that it would last.
Athrun slowly leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips, making Meyrin close her eyes and gasp. He had kissed Cagali a few times before, but this was different. It felt like there were more emotions in this kiss. He felt his heart beating a bit faster, he knew he didn't want to let her go, he wouldn't let her go, and he wasn't going to disappear either.
When he broke away from her lips Meyrin opened her eyes and looked at Athrun with loving eyes, feeling like she could stay in his embrace for all eternity. His presence alone made her happy. When their lips had touched she felt like she was leaving the earth and going up in the sky… the feeling of his lips touching hers…
When Athrun had backed away, Meyrin placed her hands on his chest and blushing from the thought that they are kissing in public, leaned forward, this time initiating the kiss herself. The feeling of their lips touching each other made her tremble in excitement, she felt like her mind was totally numb, his lips were something she just couldn't get enough of.
This time the kiss was more passionate, and Athrun tightened his grip around her waist, wanting to preserve this moment as long as possible. Maybe for the first time in his life, he felt truly in love – with the red haired girl whom he was holding in his hands, while continuing to kiss her tender lips, enjoying every moment of it, wanting for it to never end.
Lacus was walking around in the park, breathing the fresh air and listening to the birds singing, while quietly humming one of her songs. She was going t see Kira, but had decided to take a detour trough the park, to clear her head a bit. She was in a good mood today, the depressing feeling she had gained from thinking too much yesterday was gone.
She walked trough the park, when something caught her attention. A blue haired man was standing there with his back turned to her. She knew only one man that had blue hair. Athrun? Why is he here ? hehe, I could surprise him. Happy at the thought she had she started to walk towards Athrun. When she was really close , Lacus spoke up.
"Athrun !..." she suddenly stopped, noticing that Athrun was not alone there. Athrun broke loose from Meyrin's lips and looked at her in surprise, while Meyrin startled and jumped one step back with a small squeal, blushing as read as a cherry. Athrun's face had also gained a shade of red.
"L…Lacus ? wh…what are you doing here?" His eyes were widened, and his voice clearly showed he was surprised by this. Meyrin looked like she was ready to burry herself in to the ground from embarrassment.
Lacus was quite shocked herself, but quickly regained her calmness. "Um… hello, Athrun , Meyrin " She nodded hear head towards Meyrin, and looked at obviously confused Athrun. "I..im sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, i…" As she was talking various thoughts filled her head, and she smiled at him.
"I'm glad to see you are doing fine, Athrun". Athrun blushed a bit more and eyed Lacus with questioning look. Not to mention he was quite displeased that she had ruined the moment, but he didn't show that.
"Lacus, so…what are you doing here?" As she remembered that, her smile darkened a bit.
"Oh…i'm just going to see Kira, and I just noticed you, and I thought I'd say hello…sorry." She couldn't help but feel guilty for ruining the moment Athrun was sharing with Meyrin. If…if this will affect their relationship I will never forgive myself…i…" her thoughts were interrupted by Athrun.
"What do you mean see Kira ? Isn't he with you ?" From the surprise in Athrun's voice she realized one thing – he still probably doesn't know about Kira. I…I hadn't told him and Cagali probably hasn't done so either… and I doubt he tried to contact Kira…
"Athrun, Kira is in hospital. Didn't anyone tell you ?" The pink haired girl asked, already sure she knows the answer.
Athrun shook his head. "No, and I didn't bother to ask about him. Why is he there ? I'm sure I didn't hit him that hard "
Meyrin gasped at this. "A…Athrun, did you and Kira-sama fight ?" Athrun looked at her with surprised look , and then realization hit him. Damn, I forgot – she doesn't know what happened that evening. The reason he hadn't told her was simple – he didn't want her to know, he wanted to spare her of the emotions that would bring.
But before he could answer anything Lacus spoke up. "No, Athrun, it's not because of that, it's…" Lacus placed one of her hands on her chest, while turning her head to side, pained expression on her face.
"Lacus ? what's wrong ?" Athrun asked with worry in his voice, seeing that Lacus looked as if someone had just died.
"Athrun, it's…its Kira, he…" Lacus told them about what doctor had said that evening, and that now Kira is lying in the hospital, and he has one day left before the operation. At the end she was close to tears, the happy mood she had a while ago was gone, when she was forced to remember that conversation with the doctor.
Athrun stood there with his eyes wide opened, Meyrin looked like she was in shock as well. "Um…so…you mean that he had been acting like that, because…a cancer is having a negative influence on his brain ?" Lacus slowly nodded, wiping away the tears from her eyes with a pink handkerchief.
"I see…" Athrun was standing there, various thoughts and emotions passing trough his head. I always thought that the way Kira acted in the park…and especially that evening… was not like him at all. Kira… how did this happen? He was worried for his old friend, part of the anger he felt was gone.
"Athrun…please…tell me one thing. Can you… forgive him?" Lacus looked at Athrun with her blue eyes, filled with sadness. Athrun struggled with the answer a bit. I… I could forgive him for attacking me…especially if this problem is what caused his actions… Athrun turned his head and looked at Meyrin, who was standing slightly behind him, as if hiding from something.
His hand clenched in a fist. But I can't forgive him what he did to Meyrin… I'm not the one he should be apologizing to. And what does that change anyway ?
"Lacus…I don't know. I'm not the one he should be apologizing to. Why ?"
"I…i'm scared for him, Athrun. I just… he cried over what he had said… he… Cagali told me he had said he doesn't even want to… live, because all he does is bring pain to others…He… he truly regrets what he said that day…i…i'm afraid for him."
"Lacus… " he had never seen the pink haired girl so worried about something. Athrun stepped forward and placed a hand on Lacus shoulder and looked in to her eyes. "Lacus… as I said, it's not me he needs to apologize to." He looked over his shoulder to Meyrin, who stood there, obviously confused.
Lacus went over to Meyrin, took her hands in hers and looked at her in a pleading manner, her eyes watering "Meyrin…would you… would you forgive Kira ? I…I know he hurt you deeply, but…he didn't mean that… he… he truly regrets it… please ?"
Meyrin stood there in shock, looking at the pleading Lacus in front of her. As far as she could remember, Lacus had always smiled and been cheerful. She… she must really care for Kira-sama… Can i... forgive him ? Well… if…if the cancer in his brain had caused him to act like that…if…if he really didn't mean what he said then…
Meyrin wasn't the person to hold a grudge. She had forgiven Shinn that he had almost killed her and Athrun that one time, and she could forgive Kira, knowing that he really didn't mean what he said, plus she didn't want to see Lacus like this, she looked really hurt.
"Lacus-sama" Meyrin spoke up, with a cheerful voice "Please, don't cry, i…I forgive him…its … he didn't do it on purpose, did he?"
Lacus looked at the red haired girl's bright face and stared for a moment, as in disbelief that Meyrin would do something like that so easily. Then she nodded her head and smiled at Meyrin. "Thank you"
Athrun watched the scene and smiled. Once again he could only admire how kind Meyrin is. She was ready to forgive Kira just like that. And if Meyrin could forgive Kira, so could he. So… Kira is in hospital now… waiting for the operation. Maybe…maybe we could go see him…
He walked over to Meyrin and placed a hand around her shoulders and looked in to her eyes. "Meyrin, i… I would like to go see Kira… um… is that ok with you?"
Meyrin looked back at him and nodded "Ill also come, Athrun".
Athrun widened his eyes at that statement. "Wha…but…Meyrin… "
"Athrun, please, let her come."
"Lacus?" Athrun turned his head and looked at the pink haired princess with surprise.
"I'm sure Kira… would want to apologize to her in person. So please, Athrun."
Athrun thought for a moment and sighed in the end, nodding his head. "Okay" One of his hands clinched in a fist again. Kira, you better behave this time, cancer or not…if Meyrin will have to go trough that again because of you…
Athrun looked at Lacus, who seemed happy that Athrun agreed to take Meyrin along. "Lacus…my car is nearby, so we can all go there… will you come with us ?"
Lacus nodded her head "yes, thank you, Athrun. I was on my way to see Kira, before I found you and …" Meyrin blushed at that and took one step away from Athrun, feeling embarrassed. She looked at Athrun, not knowing what he will do, but he just smiled and stepped closer to Meyrin and took her elbow, and they started to walk towards the car.
Does…does that mean he doesn't mind if.. if I am seen with him ? Happy at that thought Meyrin gripped Athrun's hand a bit tighter and rested her head against Athrun's shoulder, wondering if he would object, which Athrun of course didn't.
Lacus smiled a sad smile at the sight, feeling happy for the two, and unhappy for herself at the same time. They got inside the car and started to drive towards the hospital.
Lacus stopped in front of Kira's ward and looked at Athrun and Meyrin. "You should go first…i…I will see him after that."
Athrun only nodded. He understood Lacus wanted some private time with Kira, and that's why she was telling them to go first. Athrun looked at Meyrin and took her hand. "Let's go?"
Meyrin took a deep breath, as if preparing for a battle and nodded in a serious manner.
Athrun opened the door and stepped inside, Meyrin following him.
"Tori" was the first thing he heard. The mechanical bird took of the shelf he was sitting on, located near Kira's bed and flew over and sat on Athrun's shoulder. Kira was sleeping, his forehead bandaged. Meyrin was looking at Tori with amazement.
"Its amazing, Athrun" she exclaimed, while examining Tori with interest, which was sitting on Athrun's shoulder, flapping its wings and looking back at her. "I didn't know that they are making mechanical birds."
Athrun smiled at her "I made it. I gave it to Kira when we were still little" Meyrin looked at Athrun with amazement.
"I didn't know you could make things like that, Athrun."
Athrun shrugged. "It's a habit, I guess. I have always been good with things like these…"
"Tori" the small bird jumped from Athrun's shoulder to Meyrin's shoulder, and after that took flight and flew out the window.
"H…hey" Meyrin ran over to the window and looked out with a worried look.
"Don't worry, it will come back" Athrun said, while walking closer to Kira's bed. Looked like he was about to wake up.
Kira slowly opened his eyes and yawned sleepily, then turned his head to right and noticed that someone is standing there. Must be some doctor again… must be time for my medicine… His vision was still blurry, but he could make out that the person standing beside him had blue hair. Blue…hair…?
All his sleepiness disappeared in an instant and his eyes opened widely, as he realized who the person was. "A…Athrun ?"
He quickly sat up, staring at the blue haired coordinator. Athrun stood there watching at Kira, not knowing what to say. Kira lowered his head and spoke up, with silent and sad voice. "Athrun…if you came… to beat me up… I know that I deserve it, i…"
"Kira, I didn't come here to do that."
Kira lifted his head and looked at Athrun, surprised look all over his face. "Athrun…then why ?"
Athrun turned his head away "Lacus…she told me about the cancer… I … I understand now that what you did was not your intent …"
Kira couldn't believe what Athrun was saying. Is he…really forgiving me…i…after what I did ?...I …I don't deserve to be forgiven…after what I did to him…to Meyrin ...i…"Athrun" Kira bowed his head again, tears gathering in his eyes, as he remembered the sight of Meyrin breaking down on her knees… "I…what are you saying…I don't deserve to be forgiven…how…how can you forgive me for this?"
Athrun looked at his old friend, who looked like he was about to cry. He looked like he was truly sorry for what he had done.
"Kira" Athrun slowly spoke up, his voice sounding a bit cold. "It's not up to me to forgive you. But if Meyrin can forgive you, then so can i."
Kira closed his eyes, and small streams of tears started to flow down his cheeks. "How…how could she ever forgive me? How… i…I said such horrible things to her…I" His hands clinched the blanket he was covering himself with … "I even tried to"
"Kira !" Athrun shouted, not wanting for him to continue. After all, Meyrin was still in the room, which Kira hadn't noticed, and Athrun didn't want her to find out that Kira tried to attack her, nor the fact that Kira stabbed him in the arm.
Kira shook his head, still sobbing. "Athrun…i'm so sorry…i… how can I be forgiven?...i…I don't deserve to…"
Athrun looked at Meyrin, who was standing near the window, left from Kira's bed. He walked up to her and placed his arm around her waist, looking her in to the eyes.
Meyrin's eyes were watering as she had listened to Kira speaking. She had forgiven him. She just couldn't not to forgive him seeing him like this – crying on the bed while gripping his blanket. He looked like he was in so much pain and guilt. He really regretted what he had done, he looked broken. This sight was more than enough to convince Meyrin that his words were real.
Athrun looked down at her and nodded with a small smile on his face. Meyrin turned her sight back to sobbing Kira and took in a deep breath. "Um…Kira-sama ? I…I forgive you."
Kira suddenly stopped crying at hearing her voice, his eyes wide opened. He slowly turned his head and looked in surprise at the girl who he hadn't noticed.
He slightly trembled at the sight of the girl, whom he had insulted badly. And there she was, slight smile on her face, watching at him with her bright eyes, saying she forgives him. Tears again started to flow down Kira's cheeks, and he bowed his head down again.
"Me…Meyrin, i…I' so sorry…i…i'm so sorry…i…didn't mean…what I said…i.." Kira was stammering heavily, without knowing what to say. Athrun…Meyrin…why…why did you…forgive me ? …i…I don't deserve it…cancer…that is no excuse…i…it was still i... so why ?
Meyrin almost felt like crying herself at the emotional sight. "Kira-san, it's ok. I…i forgive you…it's alright."
Kira stopped to cry and wiped his face in his sleeve and looked up at Meyrin. "Thank you" was all he could say
"I also forgive you, Kira, so lets drop this and forget it happened at all, ok?" Athrun spoke up, moved by seeing his friend so broken and filled with regret. "Um…anyway, we should go – you have another visitor waiting for you, and I don't want to keep her waiting, ill come see you before the operation."
Seeing that Kira didn't answer Athrun started to walk towards the door, bringing Meyrin with him. He opened the door and held it open while Meyrin walked outside, and was about to walk outside when Kira suddenly spoke up.
"Um, Athrun? Could…could I talk to you for a bit?" Athrun looked at Kira, and then looked at Meyrin and Lacus. Meyrin nodded her head in agreement and sat down beside Lacus, and watched Athrun enter the room again.
She sighed and looked up, glad that this was over. "Did it go well?" Meyrin turned her head towards Lacus and looked at her blue eyes, filled with concern.
"I..i think it did. He really looked sorry… and he cried a lot" Lacus smiled at her and looked a bit relieved.
"Kira has always been like that. He cries easily. He really didn't mean that when he said that."
Meyrin shook her head. "I forgave him, so did Athrun. I…I would like not to talk about this anymore, Athrun feels the same."
Lacus nodded and decided to drop the subject – it was nothing pleasant anyway. Then something else came to her mind.
"Meyrin, if I can ask why were you and Athrun at the park?" A stupid question.. Obviously they were taking a walk, as well as kissing…which she managed to interrupt. Lacus frowned at herself at that thought – she had ruined a moment between the two and instead they have ended up in a hospital, forced to remember all that they tried to forget.
Meyrin blushed slightly at that question, remembering when Lacus had caught them. "I…we went shopping…and we had dinner after that…and after that Athrun asked me if I would like to walk in the park… he is just too good to me…"
Lacus seemed surprised. Athrun went shopping? I never thought he would do that… I assume Meyrin made him buy that green shirt he was wearing… it looks good on him. She listened to what Meyrin was saying about Athrun with a loving look in her salty-blue eyes and a soft voice, but at the same time a bit sad. Lacus smiled at her.
"You love him a lot, don't you " Lacus asked in a quiet voice.
Meyrin almost jumped in surprise at that question, especially from someone she barely knew, but since Lacus was Athrun's friend she thought she can trust her.
"Um…yes, I do" Meyrin quietly answered, heat gathering in her cheeks.
"But you seemed sad a moment ago, why?"
Meyrin bowed her head down, feeling a bit sad. She placed her hand around the necklace Athrun had given her. "I… i'm scared. I...i don't even know why. He…he is just too good for me… i'm afraid he might just disappear…i…i'm afraid i'm just bothering him…I don't know what he could like in me…even if he said he loves me…I just don't know what he could like in me"
Meyrin wiped away a tear. She had no idea why she was telling all this to Lacus, but for some odd reason it felt like she could trust Lacus. She seemed so kind and willing to help, willing to listen. Perhaps Meyrin just needed someone to cry her heart out.
Lacus looked at the red haired girl beside her and placed a hand on Meyrin's shoulder and spoke with a soothing voice. "Meyrin, you don't have to worry about that. Athrun is not someone who would disappear anywhere. You are not bothering him, he likes to be around you, he seems a lot livelier around you. He likes you a lot."
Lacus smile grew wider "And you should know, Meyrin, that if he did tell you that he loves you, then you are the first one to whom he tells that"
Meyrin turned to Lacus with her eyes wide opened and disbelief in her face "W…what? But Athrun…he had been engaged to Cagali-sama. … And to you, Lacus-sama."
Lacus shook her head, and smiled, while looking in to Meyrin's widened eyes. "Yes. I think he did love me. Maybe he loved Cagali, but he had never said that. Athrun is usually very quiet, i'm sure you have noticed that." Meyrin nodded, still being very surprised at Lacus words.
"He doesn't say things unless he truly believes them, and he almost never speaks of his feelings, and if he said he loves you, that means you are special to him, so please don't worry. It probably worries Athrun when he sees you sad."
Meyrin blushed like a boiled beet, listening to what Lacus was saying. I…I am the first one he says he loves? I'm …special to him? She gripped tighter the little necklace, feeling a lot better after hearing what Lacus had said. She looked at Lacus, happiness filling her eyes, her cheeks still slightly red. "Thank you, Lacus-sama"
"Take care of him, Meyrin. He needs you." The color of Meyrin's cheeks again darkened. She felt a lot happier now. I'm …special to him? He needs me? Perhaps…I am worried about nothing…I mean Athrun is so kind to me…i…I shouldn't doubt him… He… he gets worried if i'm sad? Then I shouldn't be sad. I want Athrun to be happy with me, not sad…
Meyrin was happily smiling while thinking about herself and Athrun, tightly gripping the small necklace. This was the second time someone had asked her to take care of Athrun. And she would, even if the world would end, she would take care of him.
Athrun closed the door behind him and walked towards Kira. The brunette lifted his purple eyes and looked at his old friend, who had hated him for the last few days more than anything else.
"Athrun, i…" Kira lowered his head and looked away "Thank you, Athrun…for forgiving me…i…i'm truly sorry that happened."
"Kira…I told you I forgave you. Meyrin forgave you, and it's her you hurt the most, not me."
Kira shifted his view to Athrun, looking in to his emerald eyes. "So… you and Cagali broke up ? You… are with Meyrin now?"
Athrun's eyes narrowed and he shot a cold glare at Kira. This was not something he wanted to discuss, and especially not with Kira. "If that is what you wanted to talk about, then I will leave". Athrun stood up from the chair he had sat on and prepared to leave.
"No, Athrun, its not that…its… i'm glad that Meyrin didn't leave… because of my words…" Kira lowered his head and stared blankly at the bed he was sitting in.
Athrun's hands clenched in to fists, he felt anger rising at Kira again. Didn't leave? …She almost… Athrun took in a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. This matter had been resolved already, and there was no pint in getting angry about it. "Look, Kira" his voice sounded colder than usual "this is not something I want to talk about. Especially with you."
Kira nodded and slowly looked up at Athrun. "I…I know. I'm sorry, I understand. This… this is not what I wanted to talk about. I … I just wanted to say i'm happy to have a friend like you, Athrun. I know you probably still hate me… but I at least would like to think of you as a friend."
Athrun stood there, completely confused "Kira, what are you … ?"
"No, its just that I wanted to say that… in case we don't get to talk anymore after the operation."
"Wha…Kira…what are you saying? Lacus told me you will be fine after the operation."
Kira sadly smiled at Athrun, lifting his sad, purple eyes and looking in to Athrun's emerald ones. "Lacus…she didn't tell you, did she? About the other possible outcome?"
"Other…outcome?" Athrun blankly repeated, staring at his friend, who looked unusually depressed.
"If everything will go as planned, i…they will remove the cancer and I will stop seeing these visions…But…there is a possibility…that my brain is already damaged…and i…I wont stop seeing them. It will only get worse."
Athrun's eyes were widened in disbelief "Wha…Kira, what are you saying? what…do you mean, get worse ?"
Kira smiled sadly lowering his head again, clinching his hand in a fist "It…it probably means i…I will be seeing more of those visions. I…I might start acting like that again…. For ever."
Athrun felt he was speechless. He didn't expect something like this. But…its just a possibility, right ? Kira…he will be fine. All the anger he had recently felt had faded, now he was looking at the depressed brunette with pity and sadness. "But , Kira…that's unlikely to happen, right ? I mean…you are a coordinator, we shouldn't have problems like that."
Kira slowly shook his head. "I don't know, Athrun. The only thing I know is that after the operation I will either return to normal or it will only get worse. I don't want to get worse, Athrun. I…I already said those horrible things to Meyrin. i…I even stabbed you…I don't want that to get worse."
"K…Kira, why are you saying this? You will be fine."
"Probably. But…can you do me a favour ?"
"Um…what would that be?" Athrun felt unsure, he didn't like the tone Kira was using. It sounded…empty.
"If I would get worse…they will probably place me under supervision…i…I could end up hurting other people…i…I don't want that to happen. Don't let that happen, Athrun. If…if that would happen… please… stop me…forever."
Athrun felt like a ton of bricks had landed on him, his stomach turned around from the thoughts that passed trough his head along with Kira's words. 'Wha…Kira…what are you…why…why are you saying this ? You will be fine."
"Yeah. I will. However… please, promise me… if I wouldn't be ok…no matter how small that chance is… would you… stop me ?" Tears were starting to fall down Kira's cheeks again, he was lightly shaking, obviously feeling terrible about the thing he was asking. But he felt it had to be done. Just in case.
"Please, Athrun. You…you are the only one I can ask this. If that would happen…i…I don't want to end up hurting you…Meyrin…Cagali…Lacus…so please…promise me… that you wouldn't hesitate."
"Kira…" Athrun felt his eyes were watering, and a feeling of sickness growing inside him. Athrun slowly nodded his head. "I promise. But…you have to promise you will be ok".
Kira looked back at Athrun, smiling a bit. "Its not like I think I wont be ok, its just better to be prepared I guess. Old habits die hard. I have learned that trough the war."
Athrun sighed at relief that Kira seemed to have cheered up. The dark cloud that seemed to have engulfed the room few moments ago was gone. Athrun was sure Kira would be fine, and Kira didn't seem upset either any more. Athrun decided its time for him to go.
"Well then …I think I will be going now. Lacus is waiting to talk to you, and I don't want to keep her waiting. Besides, Meyrin is waiting for me." The blue haired boy stood up and walked towards the door.
"Thank you, Athrun. For forgiving me, although I don't deserve it."
Athrun looked back at Kira, then vacated the room, without saying anything. Outside he saw Meyrin and Lacus talking to each other, and Meyrin seemed happy. Athrun smiled at himself – he had always thought that Meyrin and Lacus would get along well, they seemed very similar, both being very kind and gentle.
Both looked at him as he exited the room and got up, walking towards him.
"Athrun, how is he?"
"He's fine, Lacus. He seemed glad to know that Meyrin has forgiven him."
Lacus turned towards Meyrin and bowed her head. "I'm grateful that you came, Meyrin, Athrun."
"Um…its ok, really." Meyrin shyly replied, looking towards Athrun.
"Lacus, at least i'm glad we are over with it. I told Kira that you will be coming to see him, is that ok ?"
Lacus nodded her head and smiled at him. "Thank you"
Athrun went over to Meyrin's side. "Well then…we will be going. See you again, Lacus"
Meyrin bowed her head "It was nice meeting you, Lacus-sama"
Lacus bowed her head and turned around to enter Kira's room. Athrun took unusually happy Meyrin by the elbow and they started to walk towards the elevator that leads to the exit.
A/N:
Phew, chappie done. My longest (And worst imo) chapter. I rewrote some parts many times and they still ended up crappy imo, I especially didn't like the Meyrin / Lacus chat . The unbearable heat outside is not helping at all. I can swear that it is sucking away my already almost non-existent brain cells. Ill try to do better for next one . R&R and flame away please. (runs to hide in fridge to cool off)