A/N:
Thanks to all the reviewers, all the nice reviews really help the writing. hope you will like this chap.
bastion the legend – you own me a fridge now :D
Special thanks to The-Dark-Spirit182 for proof-reading my crappy writing :)
DISCLAIMER : I don't own anything from GS/GSD
Kira was sitting in the bed, his head bowed down blankly staring at his bed sheets. He didn't understand why Athrun and Meyrin forgave him so easily. He didn't deserve it, he knew that much and he almost felt guilty for getting out of the water almost dry. But in some corner in his guilt plagued heart he carried a feeling of happiness.
He was glad he and Athrun could talk again. Although they hadn't seen each other for a few months, during the last few days he felt more distant from him then during the time he was on PLANT. He and Athrun had been friends since they were little, they went through two wars, and they fought against each other.
Their friends have died in the cross fire, they tried to kill each other, completely possessed by the pain and despair of losing those they cared about at each others hands, they both almost died. They became friends again, only to be separated by the next war and having to fight each other again.
But in the end, their friendship prevailed. It overcame the obstacles set by the merciless wars and countless dilemmas. They became friends once again and put an end to the war, fighting side by side, entrusting each other their lives, and the lives of the ones they cared about.
Kira smiled sadly, but the smile seemed to carry a small piece of happiness with it. Their friendship was strong. He knew it couldn't end that easily. Although…I have to admit … I really thought he was going to kill me … he had that look in his eyes again… just like when... I… killed… his friend. But…I'm glad, Athrun. I'm glad we can talk again…like friends.
So… you…you really have broken up with my sister? You…you are with Miss Hawke now? Cagali…it…it must hurt her. Lacus…she told me that Cagali cried in the night… you…you made her cry… Kira sighed heavily, but his expression changed to one which seemed relaxed, he closed his eyes and lifted his head, the sad smile on his face changing it to a soft one, making it seem as if he was happy about something.
But…I'm glad, Athrun. I'm glad because you…
"Kira?" a soft voice called out his name, disturbing his thoughts and bringing his consciousness back to the reality. He slowly opened his purple eyes and looked at the figure of the person who disturbed him from his thoughts, although the voice alone was enough to tell who it was.
Lacus slowly walked forward, then, after a moment of hesitation, she sat on the bed beside Kira, her hands crossed in her lap. Her blue eyes were sparkling with the usual energy and wisdom she seemed to poses, and she looked rather pleased about something, as she eyed Kira with a smile on her lips. She wasn't this happy most of the time, during the last months, while dealing with the Chairman's work.
Kira asked "Lacus?" with a bit of confusion, not being sure what makes her happy at this moment.
"Kira, you seem happy about something."
Kira nodded, still bearing the smile on his lips, as he looked at the pink haired princess. "I was just thinking…about Athrun. It's…it's good to be friends with him again." Lacus nodded, looking in to Kira's eyes. They seemed to have changed a bit, compared to how they looked during the past few days.
She knew how much Kira suffered from what he had done to Athrun and Meyrin, suffered to the extent he didn't even want to live. Knowing that the two have forgiven him must have felt like a ton of bricks removed from his shoulders. But still…he looked too happy for that alone to be the reason.
Kira turned his head to side, and continued in a more silent voice. "And…I was thinking about Cagali and Athrun…and Meyrin…"
Lacus felt her smile disappear from her face, and her gaze seemed to be filled with worries and concern. She knew how protective Kira was about his sister. He…he is probably mad at Athrun…but he should understand that… that it's not his choice… I hope he won't do anything rash about this again…he…he just made friends with Athrun again…if he does something inappropriate again, they could again become enemies…Kira, no matter how you feel about Cagali, no matter how you hate Athrun for this, you must not…
"I'm glad for Athrun. I'm happy things are the way they are now."
Lacus sat petrified for a moment, trying to make sure she heard that right. She sat in spot, staring at Kira, who seemed content about what he was saying, no sadness in his voice, nor in his features. For the first time in a long while, she felt lost of words. She just sat there, her eyes widened, looking at the brunette sitting beside her and feeling completely confused.
Hearing Kira saying something like this was something she never had expected. She thought he would be angry at Athrun …angry at Meyrin…or at least that he will feel sad about his sister, but there he was – saying he is glad that the things are the way they are with a happy look on his face. And Lacus had no idea why.
"Kira…I thought that…you…Cagali and Athrun…" She stammered, sounding utterly confused and lost. Something she rarely was.
Kira slowly turned his gaze towards the obviously confused Lacus, and his smile became sadder. "Athrun…he…he wanted to die."
Lacus was shocked at Kira's words. He…he isn't making any sense. Is…is he again…? A slight shadow of fear appeared in her eyes and she gasped at the thought that Kira has probably gone insane again, and she unconsciously moved a bit further from Kira.
Kira only shook his head and looked in Lacus blue orbs with reassuring look. "I'm fine Lacus, don't worry." His voice sounded calm and his gaze looked perfectly 'normal' .so Lacus calmed down a bit and eyed Kira with questioning look. "What are you saying, Kira? Athrun…"
Kira smiled sadly again and looked away. "Athrun wanted to die. Ever since his father tried to destroy the Earth…he wanted to die. Or even before that – when he returned to PLANTs to confront his father. When I told him we both can't afford to die yet. That day…he wanted to die…together with Genesis. He wasn't planning on being rescued…he wanted to die." Kira was speaking slowly, bringing up the painful memories of Jakin Due, bringing up the painful memories that were still haunting him, memories he was usually trying to suppress.
Lacus was listening to Kira's sad voice, his expression had suddenly changed from a happy one, to one with pain and regret, as he talked about Jakin Due…Jakin Due…the place where he fought against Rau…the place where the first Bloody Valentine war had ended…the place where his first love died in front of his eyes….
She felt her heart clinch in pain, simply by looking at the expression on Kira's face. She wanted to scream out to tell him to stop. But she also wanted to hear what Kira was saying. She wanted to understand, and after all – Kira himself began to tell this…but what was it he was trying to say? Lacus slowly placed her hand above his, startling him a bit. It was painful for her to watch as Kira relived those moments again. But he continued.
"He…he didn't want to live. Because…he had lost all hope in humanity…he only wanted to save the people of Earth…and to die while doing so…without having to see what comes afterwards. Because… because there was nothing he wanted to see, he…he had nothing to look towards to. But, he lived. Because I said we can't afford to die yet. And so, he lived on… blaming himself for his father's mistakes. I…I could see it in his eyes…he had lost all will to fight…to live…he only walked forward because he was alive…because I told him he can't die yet…not because he wanted to be alive. Athrun…he tried to live normally…but he was like an empty shell... not knowing what he wants to do with his life…because he didn't want anything"
Kira's eyes were staring to feel misty, as he continued to talk about his best friend, and his voice started to sound more and more…helpless…empty. "He…didn't know what to do…during the second war…I could feel it. He fought without passion…the fire and desire to win and reach the cause that he had in the first war… it was no longer there.
He simply fought without knowing why he is fighting, or what is he fighting for… he fought, because he was still alive… he felt he needs to do something… but he had no idea what… because his whole life had no goal and held no desire to live, after his father almost destroyed the Earth… He was there… he stood firm…but…his eyes…they were empty…lifeless."
Kira gasped and a tear fell down his cheek, and he wiped it away with his sleeve. Lacus felt tears gathering in her eyes as well. She had noticed that Athrun had changed…but she had never thought it to be so serious or so deep. She could usually read Athrun very well, then why she hadn't noticed this? Kira…why…how do you know this? Her hand squeezed Kira's hand tighter, as she was struggling to hold back her tears.
Kira was beginning to dwell in his thoughts again, but the pressure on his hand made him snap out of it. Kira nodded, still looking away from Lacus, as if saying he is fine, and continued in his ghostly voice. "Athrun…he was still like that…when we met on the shore that day… when I learned he had returned to ZAFT… he…his eyes were still lifeless.
But…when Colonel Kisaka found the cockpit of his destroyed Gouf in the ocean…and brought him to Archangel…after that he changed a little. I…I could see the little spark in his eyes again…it was faint…but I saw it. He…he didn't want to die anymore."
Kira turned his eyes towards Lacus, who was sitting there, tears falling down her face, and smiled at her, with the same warm smile he had a few minutes ago. "And that's why I'm happy, Lacus." His voice had changed back to normal, as if he had gotten over the pain this hard-luck story had caused him.
"I'm happy, because he has that spark in his eyes again. I saw it today, its strong, also the shirt he was wearing… he is becoming alive again…he doesn't want to die anymore, he wants to live." Kira separated his hand from Lacus and rubbed his face with both hands, as if trying to remove the remains of any tears he might have, then he smiled again.
"I'm happy that he wants to live again… to live, not to exist…and…Meyrin…if…if she can make Athrun alive again…if she is the reason he wants to feel alive again…then I'm happy for him. Cagali…I guess Cagali reminds him of the war…I guess that's why…he can't be happy with her…and she has her duties…so that's why…that's why I'm happy. I'm happy that he has found a reason to live…"
"Kira…how…how do you know this?" Lacus felt confused, Kira usually didn't say things like these, and she couldn't understand how he could have found out…usually Athrun didn't speak of his emotions, so she doubted that he would tell anyone…but then again…Kira is Athrun's best friend…if he would tell anyone that would be Kira…
Smile faded from Kira's face, as he turned away, as if once again thinking of something painful, something he didn't want to remember. "Because…I'm the same. So that's why I know…that's why I'm happy that Athrun has found a reason to live again."
Kira lowered his head, a shadow of sorrow looming over his face, clinching his hands in to fists, "At least one of us has…" he said so quietly, that Lacus barely heard him. This one phrase made Lacus heart twitch in pain, but before she could say anything, Kira continued.
"And that's why I'm happy I'm friends with him again… he really had that look in his eyes again that day…just like…just like when I… killed… his friend… Nicole… Athrun looked like that when he wanted me to die… and he looked the same when I… said all those things about Meyrin…I…I didn't want to lose him as a friend… it felt just like then…
Flashback
Aegis was thrown backwards on the ground and apparently ran out of power, its phase shift armor and beam saber deactivated. Kira lifted his large, anti ship sword above his head and stood in front of Aegis. "Athrun !" Kira stood there for a second, hesitating. He didn't want to kill Athrun, just like Athrun never really tried to kill him.
They were childhood friends, tossed in to the merciless battlefield, fighting for reasons they didn't understand, and didn't believe in. They were forced to fight against each other, they were on different sides of the fence. Yet they never tried to kill one another, and he wasn't going to kill him now either. Athrun knew that as well. But others didn't know that.
"Athrun ! Move out of the way " a cry of a desperate young man could be heard in the communicator. Blitz appeared to the right of Kira, deactivation Mirage Colloid and charged forward Strike, holding its pike in its remaining arm, thrusting it forwards, ready to ram it in to the Strike.
Kira instinctively ducked, barely dodging the pike, that missed Strike's head by bare inches and slashed towards Blitz with his sword. The sword pierced Blitz's cockpit, thrusting in to the pilots stomach with its laser edge, ensuring a fatal blow.
"Athrun…run" were the last words that could be heard from the young pilot, filled with pain and agony that he felt at the moment. The pilot's helmet filled with blood and cracked, and after a few seconds Blitz exploded, taking the young pilot with it.
"Nicole!" a shriek filled with despair and anger was the last thing Kira heard from Athrun, before returning to the ship.
Nicole… a fifteen year old boy, usually cheerful and gentle, who loved to play piano, but was also dragged in to the war, trying to protect PLANTs, was the first one to get destroyed in the flames between Athrun and Kira, flames that no one was supposed to die except themselves.
End flashback
Kira was breathing heavily, his voice trembling, remembering this scene and how crushed he felt inside himself. For Athrun…it must have been hell…that look in his eyes afterwards…the voice he spoke with … "I…I don't want to ever see those eyes, Lacus… the eyes he had that day in park…I'm happy he doesn't look at me that way anymore…"
Lacus could literally see the pain in Kira's eyes…she felt just how shocked he was just now, while telling her how he killed Athrun's friend… She slowly lifted her hand and moved it forward to place it on Kira's cheek.
Kira was breathing heavily, and he started to sweat. The scene of him killing Nicole just kept reappearing in his mind… then came the next one, when Athrun killed Tolle. Kira's eyes widened, and his eye pupils shrunk, as he realized he cannot stop the flow of memories. It was happening again…
"Lacus, you must go. Now!" Kira rapidly spoke up, quickly turning his head towards Lacus, startling her. He knew what was coming, and he knew he better be alone at that time. He quickly reached over to the table beside his bed and grabbed one of the pills that were located there and quickly swallowed it, still breathing heavily. Sleeping-pills.
The doctor had told him to take one immediately when he starts having the memory flood, so he would fall asleep. They always worked – every time he would wake up he would be back to normal. But they needed a few minutes to take effect, and he knew that it's best if he is alone at that time, otherwise he tended to become aggressive.
Lacus observed Kira's actions with worries and pain in her heart, her eyes starting to feel misty again. "Kira, are you…?" She knew he was probably seeing all those memories again, and she wanted to help him, to comfort him…
"Lacus, I told you to go. Please, leave me alone for now." Kira was getting impatient, he knew Lacus meant well, but this time she had to leave, before he had the chance to do anything irrational to her…while he still held on to his sanity. And the load of memories and visions rapidly increased, and he knew he wouldn't last long now.
"Kira, I…" Lacus reached her hand out again, fighting to hold back tears that were trying to break free from her eyes.
Kira closed his purple eyes, placing his hand on his head, and bowed the head down, feeling it become heavier, his thoughts becoming thicker and more unclear…
"GO!" He almost yelled, wishing she would just go away, feeling the last remains of his sanity slowly being engulfed in a dark, cold mist. Why can't she understand?
Lacus stood up and started to walk towards the door in a fast pace, tears streaming down her face. She wanted to help him, if possible to ease his suffering in any way possible, even if in the smallest. But he was sending her away. She knew she probably couldn't help him at this moment…that he probably sent her away because he didn't want to cause any problems to her… but it still hurt – being sent away by him.
As Lacus closed the door from the outside, she went over to the chairs that were placed along the walls of the hospitals hallways and collapsed on one of them, placing her face in her hands and placing her elbows on her knees, crying. Crying as hard as she could, warm tears staining her face and making her hands wet. Her heart itself was crying.
"Athrun wanted to die …
…we both can't afford to die yet…
…lost all hope in humanity…
…an empty shell...
…not knowing what he wants to do with his life…
…had lost all will to fight…to live…
…life had no goal and held no desire to live…
…because… I'm the same. So that's why I know.
…Athrun has found a reason to live again
…At least one of us has."
Lacus sobbed quietly, her head buried in her hands, tears starting to roll down her hands as well, starting to stain her sleeves, but she paid no heed to it, just like she ignored all the people passing her and their looks.
"Kira…why…" her voice left an impression she could crumble at any moment, it was quite and trembling, filled with as much sadness and despair as a humans heart can muster. "Why…why don't you desire to live? Why…why can't I be…a reason for you to live...?"
Athrun was sitting in the guestroom's sofa, watching TV, while his thoughts were elsewhere. It has been about two hours since he and Meyrin came back from visiting Kira and their shopping trip, and it was getting kinda late. Meyrin…she seemed unusually happy after their visit. But then again – Athrun could understand it.
After all, it seemed like she enjoyed the shopping quite a lot, although she didn't get herself anything other than her new clothes and the curtains. Athrun sighed, running his fingers trough his blue hair. I wonder if she didn't get herself anything else because she didn't want to spend more of my money. Most likely…she is always very worried about it…
The blue haired boy rolled his eyes and rested back in the sofa. Meyrin sure always worried about spending his money…Athrun sure didn't care himself, as long as she would be happy. And since she seemed happy about the trip to the shopping centre, he decided it was ok. But made a mental note to himself, that he must somehow make Meyrin loosen up about this, although, he had no idea how.
The thought that Meyrin actually had walked home that time with groceries instead of taking a taxi, because she didn't want to spend more of his money made Athrun frown. But she sure loved shopping, the way how she ran around when selecting the curtains so excitedly and with such enthusiasm made Athrun smile a bit.
Yes, she definitely seemed happy after the shopping. And she also seemed happy in the park, despite her sudden outburst of sadness at one point. Athrun didn't like that and he didn't like it when she was sad, mostly because he didn't know what to say more often than not. He was never too bright on the talking side.
But as long as it turned out alright…But she sure seemed a lot happier after we left the hospital…the talk with Kira must have cheered her up. She did find out that Kira actually didn't mean what he said, and she seems to have made friends with Lacus. I'm glad things turned out the way they did.
Athrun smiled and looked up at the ceiling. The day had turned out to be a good one, everything seemed to have finally taking a turn for the better. Meyrin was happy, she had settled things with Kira, just as he had himself. Kira…It's good that everything is back to normal. Back to normal…
Athrun frowned at the thought, feeling a bit uneasy. Kira's operation was in one day, and he couldn't help but worry, knowing that his friend is going to have brain surgery. Kira, you better be alright. Lacus is worried sick about you. Speaking of which… he hadn't seen Meyrin for a few hours, which meant she hadn't left her room at all ever since they came home.
After a bit of hesitation Athrun decided to go check on her. After all Meyrin had a habit of getting sad and worried at times, and he hoped that this was not the case. Athrun turned the TV off and stood up, then stretched, feeling a lot better. He still felt a bit stiff after spending the previous night in a not so comfortable position. Not that he minded it one bit.
Athrun climbed the stairs to the second floor, thinking about Meyrin, his head bowed down. He noticed one of the palms on his new shirt and smirked. He had almost forgotten that he was wearing that. He didn't understand why he bought the thing in the first place… but it seemed quite comfortable and surprisingly, he almost liked how he looked wearing it.
He knew that a month or so ago he wouldn't even consider buying this for one moment, he enjoyed wearing plain and simple clothes, especially his black jacket. He was fully aware that he bought the shirt because of one red head, who had begged him to try it on, but what surprised him was the fact that he would never wear something like this a month ago, no matter who would ask him to do that.
His trail of thoughts was interrupted when he accidentally hit his leg against the top step of the stairs. Growling and cursing in his thoughts, as well as wincing slightly the blue haired boy continued towards Meyrin's room. The door was not closed, so he decided it was ok to go in.
Meyrin was standing on her tips of the toes on a chair, and was trying to affix the curtains to the wooden bar above the window, but it seemed she couldn't quite reach it. She let out a sigh and eyed the wooden bar with an annoyed look and pouted, placing her free hand on her side, the other hand still holding the curtains.
Athrun couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked like this, it made him chuckle a bit. It startled Meyrin and she turned her head back, looking over her shoulder. "Athrun, I didn't know you were here." Her voice sounded cheerful, and her eyes sparkled, despite that she was annoyed by the curtains.
Athrun smiled at her and moved beside her, looking up at her, catching her gaze and looking in to her salty-blue eyes that were filled with happiness, instead of sadness as most of the time he had seen. "Meyrin, why didn't you just ask me? You don't have to do this, especially if it's hard for you to reach it."
Meyrin looked away, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I…I just wanted to do this myself. Its not like I'm that short, right?" Actually she was almost the same height as Athrun. "And I didn't want to bother you about this, Athrun, so…"
Athrun sighed loudly enough to make Meyrin look at him, and again looked in to her eyes. Why does she keep thinking that everything she does is a bother to me? "Meyrin" Athrun slowly spoke up, looking at the red haired girl, who had her hair in the two ponytails again, what made her look even cuter. "Can you promise me one thing?"
"Yes" Meyrin instantly answered, knowing that she wouldn't refuse anything Athrun would ask of her. "Please, if there is any problem or anything you need just ask me, ok? It is not bothering me at all, why are you so afraid of asking me something?" He spoke with a soft voice, the look in his emerald eyes was almost pleading.
Meyrin felt heat rushing up her cheeks, and she turned away. She really had no idea why she never asked anything. She was very shy by nature, and had used to rely on herself for a long time now. But perhaps it was time when she could rely on someone. And besides, the pleading look on Athrun's face showed that he really wanted to help, but she was always afraid that he is only doing so because he was a gentleman. Perhaps it was time she stopped doubting him. Especially after what Lacus said in the hospital.
She turned towards Athrun and happily nodded. "Um…if you want, Athrun. But I'll just finish attaching this one – it's the last part anyway." She smiled at Athrun and then turned back to the curtain. It was true – only the last corner of the curtain had to be attached, so there was no need for Athrun to get up on the chair just for this.
"Don't worry, I can reach iWHAAA" she squealed, when Athrun suddenly lifted the chair in the air, almost causing her to lose balance, and holding it steadily at his chest-height, with a smile on his face. Meyrin recovered from the shock this sudden action had caused her and looked at Athrun with surprise, who looked obviously happy. "A…Athrun?"
"Meyrin, I'm going to help you with this, one way or another." The blue haired coordinator smiled at her, speaking in a happy voice, obviously looking content with his actions.
Meyrin looked around and she had to admit that attaching the curtain won't be a problem now – her head almost reached the ceiling, and the wooden bar was easily reachable now. She looked down at Athrun with concern, despite the slight shock she had from this sudden action. "Athrun, isn't this heavy?"
Athrun raised an eyebrow. First of all he was a coordinator, so lifting something heavy wouldn't be that much of a problem, and second – there was nothing heavy to begin with, Meyrin only weighted 45 kg, and Athrun had no idea why she was talking about something like diets from time to time. And third – it's not like he would drop the chair even if it would be heavy.
Athrun shook his head and looked in to Meyrin's eyes with a reassuring look. "It's fine, Meyrin, its not hard, and I don't know why would you think that you are heavy." Meyrin blushed and turned away to hide her red cheeks and started to attach the curtain. Ever since she failed to get in to the Lunamaria's miniskirt she had thought she might be too 'fat'. Of course she was light years away from being anywhere close to that, but for some reason it always bothered her. Damn Luna and her skirt…
Athrun smiled and looked up at Meyrin, who was still occupied with the curtains and looked for a moment, then his expression suddenly changed, and he quickly turned away, red all over his face. Meyrin was still wearing the skirt she had bought today, and Athrun was pretty sure he had just seen things one should not without permission. He let out a small 'gulp' sound, cursing himself.
Damn you, Zala. You sure have to act before you think, like I haven't given her enough embarrassment already…now this. God, she will really think I'm some kind of a pervert if she will notice this…darn…
"There, all done." Meyrin happily announced and turned her head towards Athrun. Her sudden movement caught Athrun off-guard, since his thoughts were not exactly on holding the chair right now, and caused Athrun to startle, and this caused chair to stagger, which in turn caused Meyrin off-balance.
With a small scream she lost her balance and fell down the chair backwards, closing her eyes and awaiting the moment she will hit the floor. This never happened, because Athrun managed to drop the chair and catch her in his arms in time, what caused him to take a few steps backwards. As he took the few steps back, fully centering his attention on Meyrin in his arms, he ran against the bed, which caused him to fall backwards on the bed.
Meyrin opened her eyes and looked around, wondering why the fall was so soft. "Mey ?" she turned to the right and looked down, meeting Athrun's emerald green eyes looking up at her. Then she realized she had landed on top of Athrun, and was now sitting on his chest. She quickly scrambled up, moving away from Athrun, her cheeks slightly red.
"Athrun, are you ok? I'm sorry" she looked at him with concern and kneeled beside him on the bed, placing her hand on his shoulder as he sat up, with a small 'cough' sound. Athrun turned towards her, and looked in to her eyes, smiling softly. "I…I'm sorry, Meyrin, I didn't hold the chair firmly enough."
Meyrin shook her head "No, Athrun, I…" she couldn't continue because Athrun suddenly leaned forward, kissing her lightly on the lips. She could feel her heartbeat increasing, and she closed her eyes, returning the sign of affection. After a few moments Athrun backed away, a warm smile on his face, looking at the red haired girl in front of him.
Meyrin gasped when their lips separated and looked at Athrun, slowly opening her eyes. He seemed happy, looking back at her, his emerald eyes emitting warmth and care. This was the perfect dream she had hoped for during the last few months. And it was real, right in front of her, in the shape of a blue haired boy, about whom she had dreamed for a long time now.
Meyrin slowly placed her hand on his cheek and moved towards Athrun and slowly brought her lips to meet his, while blushing red as tomato. Athrun placed his hand around her slim body and pulled her closer, without breaking the kiss. Meyrin didn't resist, instead she placed her hands around Athrun's neck, and they sat like that for about two minutes, enjoying each others company, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss.
"Athrun, I...I love, you , Athrun, please don't leave me." Meyrin asked in almost pleading voice. At least this time she is not crying or looking sad Athrun thought, taking her hand in to his and looking in to her eyes with a loving look.
"I won't leave you, Meyrin. I…" His eyes turned to the small heart shaped necklace he had given her on her birthday. Slowly, he placed his hand around it and looked in to Meyrin's salty-blue eyes. "I…I love you too." He quietly added and lifted her chin up with one finger, letting go of the necklace and placed another kiss on her soft lips. He had no idea why, but he just couldn't stop kissing her soft lips, the feeling of his lips brushing against hers made him feel a bit dizzy. He didn't want to let her leave his embrace. And Meyrin didn't want to leave his arms either.
Without realizing much what he is doing, Athrun leaned down and kissed her on the neck, while running his hand trough her hair, earning a gasp from Meyrin. She slowly tilted her head back, revealing more of her slim neck, and Athrun planted several soft kisses on it. His hand slowly slid under her blue shirt and gently touched her back, circling his arm on the spot.
Meyrin's mind went blank from his touch, from his warm breath on her neck, from the feeling his lips left when touching another spot on her neck. She knew where this was going, and felt a little frightened and unsure about this. But her mind was getting foggier by the second from Athrun's touch, and she would lie if she would say she didn't enjoy it. But still… she had only kissed for the first time yesterday, and now was she ready to do that?
It seemed much too fast for her. She let out another gasp, trying to hold on to her sanity, which was slowly drifting away from Athrun's touches. Maybe it was too fast… but then again – it would be with Athrun. She loved the blue haired coordinator, more than anything. She had entrusted him her life in an instant, surely she could entrust this to him as well…
Athrun was having similar thoughts at the same time, trying to control himself. He had never felt like this before. The scent from Meyrin's strawberry shampoo and her body was driving him to the brink of insanity. Her soft skin…her gentle lips… Are we…are we really going to do that? But…does she really want this? I…I just kissed her yesterday, and now this ?
It…it might hurt her…she might not like it…maybe we shouldn't… Athrun gathered all his willpower and started to slowly back away, unsure how Meyrin felt about this. She was usually very shy and quiet, and he was worried she wouldn't say anything just because of her quiet nature, and that would feel like using her…and he didn't want that.
He breathed heavily as he slowly backed away, but he didn't get far, because Meyrin tightened her grip around the back of his neck, as if she didn't want him to back away. Athrun didn't resist her hands and allowed her to pull him back closer to her. He could feel her lightly trembling.
Meyrin slowly lied back on the bed, pulling Athrun with her. She slowly opened her eyes and since she was not capable of saying anything simply nodded her head, as if she could sense Athrun's doubts. She closed her eyes and gasped again when Athrun gently resumed kissing her neck, his hand slowly sliding under her shirt and starting to gently circle around her stomach, causing her mind to black out again from the sensation.
The sun was setting down, leaving a crimson reflection in the ocean, behind which it tried to hide. The crimson reflection seemed a bit blurry due to the small waves, making it look crumpled. A couple of seagulls could be seen circling above the water, their cries filling the air at times. Small waves were slowly hitting against the shore, creating a quiet rustling.
The wind briefly blew trough the young man's raven black hair, making it flutter in the wind. The boy stood in front of what seemed to be a small stone memorial, his head bowed down. He was shaking lightly, as his hand clenched a pink mobile phone. There were a few water drops on the ground – tears that were streaming down the boys face and falling to the ground.
His hand tightened around the phone, as he lifted his tear stained face and looked towards the setting sun and the ocean. His voice was filled with sorrow and pain , as he quietly spoke up, tears streaming down his face in increasing rate "Stellar…Mayu…"
A/N:
Whee, another one done. Hope you are still enjoying this at least a bit, sorry if this took a bit longer to update. Now if you will excuse me, I will go and hide in a corner next to a block of ice, since the heat outside is unbearable. Please R&R.