TOPIC: Royai, bologna, sea turtles, and a truckload of children on a fieldtrip.
Winry: Roy, Truth or Dare?
Roy: Dare!
Winry: I dare you to take everyone at the nearest elementary school on a field trip!
Roy: How many people's that?
Winry: Let's see, 6 grades, 2 classrooms each, 30 kids a classroom plus 30 staff members, do the math.
Roy: Umm... (counting on his fingers, then gasps) TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE!
Everyone: (sweatdrops)
Ed: It's 390, dillhole!
Roy: Shut up, leprechaun!
Ed: Gasp! How'd you kno- I mean... I'm not a friggin' leprechaun! (shifty eyes)
Roy: Anyway... Yeah, I can do that!
Ed: Prove it!
Roy: I will! (runs out the door towards the elementary school)
Al: Think he can do it?
Hawkeye: Are you kidding? He can't stand being around one kid let alone 300!
Sheska: Yep, this is gonna be a disaster.
(a bunch of talking can be heard outside. everyone goes over to the window to see what it is. Outside, Roy's leading the entire school of kids to the house. the group walks outside to meet up with Roy)
Ed: Okay, now what are you gonna do with 'em?
Roy: Well, I called a transportation service that'll accomodate us all, then we're going to the ocean!
Hawkeye: (glomps Roy) Aww, even if you do hate kids, this is still cute! (kisses his cheek) So how many buses did you get?
Roy: ...Buses...?
(suddenly a semi truck drives by and stops in front of Roy)
Driver: Mr. Roy Mustang?
Roy: Yeah, that's me.
Driver: Okay, load up your cargo and tell me where you want it to go.
Hawkeye: (glares at him) A F-CKING SEMI TRUCK? ARE YOU INSANE? (smacks him)
Roy: OW! It's cheaper than the 8 buses we'd need!
(a kid is heard screaming. Everyone looks over to where the scream is coming from. The kid is being eaten by Gluttony)
Lust: Gluttony! Don't eat the goddamn kids! You'll ruin your apetite!
Gluttony: Gluttony can't help it.. It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet!
Winry: Anyway, let's get the rest of the kids on board..
(Ed, Al, Winry, Sheska, and Hawkeye lead the giant group of kids into the back of the semi. Roy gets up front in the passenger seat)
Roy: Okay, I need this all to go to the ocean.
Driver: Alright. (starts driving)
-a few minutes later-
Driver: (hears noises coming from the back of the truck) So uh, what kinda stuff are you delivering...?
Roy: Oh, just some stuff that needs to be dropped off at the ocean.
Driver: ...it's not toxic, is it?
Roy: Oh, definitely not!
Driver: (thinks, then hears noises that sounds like talking coming from the back) You uh, didn't load that giant group of kids into the back, did you...?
Roy: ...maybe...
Driver: ...Are you an idiot? I'm stopping this truck right now!
Roy: (pulls out a gun and points it at the driver) Just shut up and drive!
-an hour later-
Roy: (gets out and opens the doors at the back of the semi) We're here!
(everyone looks banged up and bruised from the ride)
Roy: Is everyone okay?
(as everyone gets out, they kick Roy in the leg when they pass him)
Roy: God damnit! What the hell's their problem!
(Ed, Al, Winry, Sheska, and Hawkeye are the last to get off, they all glare at him)
Winry: Never again...
Ed: YOU F-CKING IDIOT! WE COULDA BEEN KILLED!
Roy: But you're alive, now aren't you?
Ed: ...shut up.
Roy: Let's go! (leads them all to the beach)
Random kid 1: Hey look, a turtle! (points to a sea turtle sitting on the beach halfway in the water. he runs up to Roy) Mr. Mustang, what do turtles eat?
Roy: Eh.. (searches around in his pocket, pulls out a half-eaten bologna sandwich, gives it to the kid) They eat bologna!
Random Kid 1: Thanks! (runs to the turtle)
Sheska: ...Why was there a half-eaten sandwich in your pocket?
Roy: It was lunch, thought I'd eat it later.
Random Kid 1: (trying to get the turtle to eat the sandwich) He won't eat it!
Random Kid 2: I don't think it likes that kinda stuff. But I know what does!
Random Kid 1: What?
Random Kid 2: That! (points to a shark swimming around close to the shore, takes the bologna sandwich and swims out to the shark and offers the sandwich to it. The shark eats the kid)
Truth-or-Dare Group: (sweatdrop)
Roy: Okay kids! Don't be retarded like that kid was and stay away from the sharks!
(all the kids back away from the water)
Roy: Now we just say that kid ran away and it'll be fine...
-a few hours later-
(the sun's setting, Roy's sitting on the beach with his arms wrapped around Riza staring across the ocean at the sunset, Ed and Winry are doing the same thing further down the beach)
Roy: I love you Riza.
Hawkeye: I love you too Roy. (they kiss)
Al: (walks by) Oh give me a break.. (continues walking, he comes across Ed and Winry)
Ed: (holding Winry in his arms) I love you Winry.
Winry: I love you too Ed. (they kiss)
Al: Can I get a f-cking break already? (keeps walking, comes across Sheska sitting alone on the beach) Hey Sheska! (walks up to her)
Sheska: (depressed) Oh, hey Al..
Al: All alone?
Sheska: Yeah..
Al: Me too. Say, you wanna...?
Sheska: (blinks) Wanna what..? OH! Oh, no no, I- I'm a, um, lesbian! That's it!
Al: Oh, okay... that sucks.. (gets up and walks away)
Sheska: (sigh of relief) Talk about dodging a bullet.. (a hot guy walks up to her)
Guy: Hey, you're pretty cute. Do you have a boyfriend?
Sheska: (sigh) No..
Guy: Well, do you wanna go out with me sometime?
Sheska: Sure! (They start kissing)