TOPIC: A watch, two cups of tea, and an Italian restaurant.
Roy: I think we should get something to eat before playing anymore Truth or Dare.
Winry: Yeah, I am gettin kinda hungry..
Sheska: Me too.
Al: I hate you all so much..
Ed: How about going to an Italian Restaurant?
(everyone agrees. A few minutes later they're at an Italian restaurant)
Ed: I'll just have two cups of tea.
Roy: (looking at menu) Let's see, I'll have three of these, (points) two of these, (points) this in jumbo size, (points) and 14 of these.
Waiter: ...Are you sure about that sir?
Roy: Yeah, I'm hungry!
(everyone else orders)
-An hour and a half later-
Roy: (Burps) That was good..
Everyone: (blinks and sweatdrops)
Hawkeye: Do I even wanna know how you managed to finish all that?
Winry: I don't think so..
Sheska: So... who's paying?
Roy: Don't worry ladies, I got it covered with some of the military funds.
Waiter: (comes back and hands Roy a piece of paper) Your bill, sir.
Roy: Thank you, my good man! (the waiter leaves. Roy looks at the paper then his eyes go wide) FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS?
Ed: Ya shouldn't have got all that food...
Roy: Okay, here's the plan, when there's no one in the way to stop us, we run for it!
winry: ...Dine 'n dash?
Hawkeye: I thought you said you were paying!
Roy: I can't afford it...
Ed: That's a bad idea Roy... I've seen the Sopranos, I know what they do to people!
Roy: Okay, one, two, three, RUN FOR IT!
(everyone gets up and runs for the door, all the waiters and staff try to stop them but don't make it in time)
-a few minutes later-
(Everyone's back in the house)
Roy: Well that worked out smoothly!
(everyone glares at him)
Winry: Hey... Where's Ed?
Roy: (shrugs) Probably got caught..
Everyone: ...WHAT!
Roy: You heard me!
(Meanwhile, back at the restaurant, Ed is taken to the back room, where a large Italian man sitting behind a desk dressed in a suit and tie with a lot of rings and a Rolex is petting a cat)
Ed: Um, hey there, uh, nice watch! (nervous laugh)
Don: (Looks at his watch) Thank you. I was able to buy it from running this.. legitimate.. business here, in which every customer pays. (looks back at Ed) Now, do you know what we do to people like you who don't pay?
(a scream is heard from the next room, Ed looks over to it, then looks at the Don)
Ed: Um.. what do you do...?
Don: We put them to work for no pay until every cent is made up... Five thousand dollars is a lot of money to make up...
Ed: It's not my goddamn fault! I only ordered two goddamn cups of tea! You wanna know who ordered five of everything on there? I'll give you his name, phone number, address, associates, place of business, anything!
Don: Hm, I like your spunk, kid. Willing to rat out a friend just to save your own hide.
Ed: Eh yeah, friend.. (shifty eyes. he writes down the info and leaves)
(Meanwhile, back at the truth or dare, the phone rings)
Roy: (Answers it) Yes?
Don: Roy Mustang?
Roy: Speaking.
Don: I believe you have some business with me...
Roy: And who is this?
Don: This is Don Giovanni of the Italian mafia.
Roy: (thinks: "God damn I hate you Ed..") Mr. Giovanni, what an unpleasant surprise..