32 Productions Presents…
A Teen Titan Fan Fiction The Teen Titans in…"Closer to Home"
Chapter One
Jump City: Mainland Shoreline
Gremlin sighed. He was having one of THOSE days. And it was such a sound theory too. Create perfect robotic duplicates of the Titans…ones that could copy their powers. Then all he had to do was create some havoc and his victory was assured. Unfortunately he seemed to have forgotten to program actual fighting techniques into the robots. They could attack, but they were clumsy and uncoordinated in their efforts. The Raven double used powerful magnetic pulses to imitate her powers, but it had a terrible habit of trying to use trees and other non-metallic items. Raven crushed it under tons of sand. Not familiar with Cyborg's design, Gremlin had mistakenly put only one sonic cannon on his duplicate. Unfortunately it was on the hand that Cyborg DIDN'T favor and therefore neither did the duplicate. So when it was supposed to use its cannon, it held up a normal arm. It blew off its own legs. Starfire's duplicate was designed to absorb the energy Starfire's starbolts…however it didn't occur to him to install some sort of regulator. He had to stop designing robots at three in the morning. It overloaded and exploded. Beast Boy's polymorphic metallic double was pretty well designed…save for one gigantic flaw. It responded to his last transformation. So when he turned into a tarantula, it turned into a wasp, a tarantula's natural enemy. Beast Boy then shifted back to normal and squashed it. Terra's duplicate use similar technology to Raven's. Unfortunately, Terra's powers were far stronger. Shade's powers weren't possible to duplicate properly, having no real classification, so Gremlin made his duplicate faster and stronger then the original, with claws twice as sharp. Unfortunately he didn't quite make it fast enough. Shade simply opened a hole when it leapt at him and the next thing Gremlin knew, his robot was plummeting to Earth several miles in the air. The thing that pissed him off most of all…and made him want to hang himself…was that he had once again underestimated Robin. Now he found himself surrounded by the Titans who looked somewhat sore at having to fight duplicates of themselves.
Gremlin: …next time I program footage of previous battles into them. Stupid, stupid, stupid. This is what I get for cutting back on caffeine, I know it.
The Titans ignored his complaining. Robin clenched his fists tightly.
Robin: It's over, Gremlin.
Starfire: Yes, please return to your asylum cell peaceably. We do not wish to harm you.
Cyborg: Speak for yourself. I KNOW my head ain't that big.
Beast Boy: Actually, dude, it kind of is.
Gremlin sighed again and shook his head.
Gremlin: Sorry, Starfire, but no. I can't stop…won't stop. Besides…they don't treat robots at asylums anyway.
With that the Gremlin before them fell to pieces. Raven pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.
Raven: I hate it when they do that.
Robin punted the head, his teeth gritted. Raven was right, there was nothing more annoying then finding out the villain you were fighting was just a machine. Starfire floated in front of Robin, a weak smile on her face.
Starfire: Do not despair, Robin. It could have been much worse, yes?
Robin raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.
Robin: How?
Starfire bit her finger gently as she thought. There had to be a good answer to this. One thing she couldn't stand was to see Robin upset.
Starfire: Er…oh! The robot did not explode. That is good, is it not?
Robin: …yeah I guess so. …Let's salvage what we can and go home. Maybe there's something on it we can use to track him down.
They gather a few of the larger parts and left the rest lying on the beach. Ten seconds later a piece of it exploded. Starfire sweatdropped as she looked back at the smoke.
Starfire: …er…it is most fortunate that we were not present?
The others just sighed.
: CUE THEME :
Under the Junkyard: Workshop
Gremlin threw his wrench across the room and it embedded in a passing dusting drone. It sputtered and began spinning around in circles. A screen lit up and G-9's face appeared on it, biting her lower lip nervously.
G-9: Sir, please calm down.
Gremlin gripped the edge of his work table, his breath heaving. Damn that Robin! Not only did he beat his robots, but Starfire…!
G-9: …this isn't about the loss of the robots, is it?
Gremlin slammed his fist down, making G-9 jump…well, as much as a face on a screen CAN jump. Sometimes arms reached up to scratch her head or help her make a face, but that was it.
Gremlin: I just…why does she like him so much?
G-9: …was that rhetorical?
Gremlin smashed the monitor with his fist. G-9 sighed through the still functioning speaker system.
G-9: Sir, please. You're only going to have to rebuild all this later.
Gremlin: …what do I have to do, G-9?
G-9: Sir, if I may, you only programmed me to know as much about women as you do. I can't really give you much advice…but…it probably has something to do with the fact you keep trying to kill her and her friends.
Gremlin: …well, that sucks…
G-9 sighed. The chances of it working were slim, but she had to try it.
G-9: Maybe if you stopped attacking people and passed those exams at the asylum you'd have a better chance with her.
Gremlin snickered before bursting out in manic laughter. He slowly calmed down.
Gremlin: No, I can't do that.
G-9: Why not?
Gremlin: If I stop being a villain, that makes me more like Robin. I have to be everything he isn't.
G-9 shook her head. This again…
G-9: No, you don't, sir. You can be who you want. There are no requirements in your li…
Gremlin: (coldly) You don't understand anything, G-9. You're just a face on the screen.
G-9's jaw dropped. It was true, of course, but she didn't like to think about it. Her AI was sophisticated enough that she could easily pass for a human in any circumstance save for a visual one. In fact, her AI was so advanced that her "feelings" had been hurt by Gremlin's comment. She bit her bottom lip.
G-9: (sniffling) Yes sir. You're absolutely correct, sir. My apologies.
Gremlin: No…I just need to get rid of the Titans. With them gone, Starfire will soon see things my way.
It was the statement of a delusional man, but G-9 said nothing. The last thing she needed was him angrier at him then he must have been to say something that hurtful.
Gremlin: The question is, how? I need to REALLY hurt them…more then any villain ever has before. I have to make them realize that I'm not just another villain, I'm THE villain. Better then Slade, then Brother Blood, better then any of them.
G-9: You defeated Trigon, didn't you?
Gremlin: Huh? No, that was just a fluke. Besides, that wasn't me, it was a robot I made. …I should have made it broadcast it though. Would have been great to watch. Maybe even put it on national television.
G-9 sighed.
G-9: …if you wish to truly hurt them you have to strike them where they least expect it.
Gremlin sat down and started drumming his fingers.
Gremlin: Yeah…but where is that? Family? Raven doesn't have one anymore, Shade hates his…
G-9: Sir, I was referring to the more physical definition of "where".
Gremlin stopped drumming his fingers.
Gremlin: …oh…oh I see.
Gremlin's laughter echoed through the lair. He knew exactly where to attack them! Inside their own tower!
Titan Tower: Main Room, that evening
It was an ordinary looking scene, Beast Boy and Cyborg playing video games while Raven tried her damnedest to read on the couch next to them. Beast Boy's jaw dropped along with the controller as Cyborg stood up, pointing his finger in the changeling's face.
Cyborg: BOOYAH! Your ass is done, BB!
Beast Boy grumbled and folded his arms.
Beast Boy: Dude, I'm hungry. It's totally ruining my concentration.
Cyborg: Don't start making excuses, little man. You lost.
There was a loud rumbling noise…a growling stomach. Cyborg sweatdropped.
Cyborg: Oookay. Maybe you are hungry.
Raven cleared her throat, her cheeks slightly red.
Raven: …that was me.
The two looked at each other before bursting out into hysterics. Raven clenched her teeth and tightened her grip on her book.
Raven: Shut up. I'm just hungry. There's nothing funny about being hungry.
Beast Boy: (between laughter) There is when your stomach sounds like an angry lion!
Raven grabbed his shirt and pulled his face closer to hers.
Raven: Keep laughing and you'll look like you just met an angry lion.
Beast Boy: …you're cranky when you're hungry, aren't you?
Raven let him go.
Raven: What was your first clue?
Shade appeared, startling Beast Boy and Cyborg. Raven had grown attune to the unique energy that manifested itself before he appeared so she wasn't surprised to see him. He opened the refrigerator door and frowned.
Shade: Aaah, son of a bitch. The mold is devouring our food again.
Beast Boy ran up and peered over his shoulder.
Beast Boy: Aw, man! It better not have eaten my tofu.
Shade: …actually that seems to be the only thing it hasn't eaten.
The tofu was untouched in a huge mass of blue goo. Beast Boy sweatdropped and turned toward Cyborg.
Beast Boy: Not a word, dude. Not a word.
Shade: …not like you should be surprised. That stuff tastes like crap.
Robin and Starfire came in, also in search of sustenance. Disappointment reigned as they realized they had nothing to eat in the tower. It appeared they were going out when the doorbell rang. Cyborg answered through the intercom.
Voice: Pizza delivery.
My, how convenient. Cyborg turned to the others.
Cyborg: …uh…anybody order a pizza?
There was a collection of shaking heads. Shade snorted.
Shade: Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Food is food.
Raven: Unless it's a trap…which it probably is.
Shade sighed.
Shade: If it's a trap, we have a crook outside our door. Either way, we gotta open it to see, right?
Raven rolled her eyes. Cyborg shrugged. Shade had a point. He pressed the intercom button.
Cyborg: How much?
Voice: Er…uh…(mutter) Damn, I should have expected that…(normal) Well, I shouldn't do this, but you guys are heroes. The least you deserve is a free meal.
While Cyborg liked the sound of that, he'd be an idiot not to find it suspicious. Still…he was hungry. He answered the door and was shocked by what he saw. It was Gremlin…with four boxes of pizza (which was a bit much, really. Raven didn't eat much)…in a delivery boy outfit. Cyborg shook his head.
Cyborg: Man, for a genius, this is pretty stupid.
Gremlin: …my holographic disguise is malfunctioning, isn't it?
Cyborg nodded. Gremlin let out a shout of frustration and shoved the pizzas into his hands. He pulled the cap off his head and threw it to the ground.
Gremlin: I have GOT to stop working on stuff after eating pixie sticks!
Cyborg: Er…
Gremlin: What! You think this is funny! Damn it, I can't believe this. Just take the stupid pizzas and forget you ever saw me, okay?
Cyborg: …what, are they bombs or something?
Gremlin snorted.
Gremlin: BOMBS! What the hell is wrong with you? You can't put bombs in pizzas! And I didn't poison it either. That is SO beneath me. My plans are never so obvious, thank you.
Gremlin stomped off toward a strange bubble-like contraption in the water and climbed into it. It sealed up again and went under the water. Cyborg was so stunned he didn't think to stop him. Starfire flew up next to Cyborg.
Starfire: Ah, the pizzas!
Before Cyborg could stop her, she grabbed the pizzas and flew back into the main room. Cyborg went after her but by the time he got there the others had dug in. Cyborg gulped. It was like he was looking at a bunch of tombstones with his friends' names on them. Death by pizza…the horror of it all!
Beast Boy: Dude, this is gotta be the best pizza I ever had!
Robin: He's right…but why isn't there a name on the box? Who delivered, Cyborg?
Cyborg rubbed the back of his head, nervously.
Cyborg: Er…Gremlin?
Everyone stared at him for a moment before laughing (well, not Raven)…and consequentially choking a little.
Terra: You actually had us going for a second there! Oh man, I…
Cyborg: I'm serious. He came up in a delivery boy outfit. Said something about his holographic disguise not working…'cause it wasn't.
Everybody spat out what they were eating and stared at the pizza. Suddenly all the toppings looked remarkably like skulls and crossbones.
Beast Boy: DUDE! We're gonna die! He probably poisoned it…or put little robots on it that will turn us into mindless zombies!
Raven: You're already halfway there.
Beast Boy tugged at his hair.
Beast Boy: Raven, come on! We're, like, ten seconds away from being drooling slaves or something and you're calling me stupid NOW!
Raven shrugged. Shade rubbed his chin.
Shade: …so…we're already poisoned or whatever now, right?
Beast Boy: Yeah and now we're going to…
Robin put his hand over the panicking changeling's mouth, sighing.
Robin: Yeah.
Shade: Okay then.
Shade took another slice of pizza and bit into it, much to the alarm of his friends.
Starfire: Shade, were you not paying attention! The pizza is tainted!
Shade shrugged, still chewing.
Shade: Yeah, but it's goooood tainted pizza. I figure if I'm already poisoned, I might as well enjoy the food.
Raven was about to smack him and force him to spit out what he just put into his mouth when Starfire picked up a piece of pizza.
Starfire: I cannot argue that point.
She shoved the slice into her mouth. The others started doing the same thing.
Raven's Soul
Gray ran about in a panic, ranting about how they were going to die painfully. Yellow sighed and grabbed her cloak as she passed, causing her to fall to the ground.
Yellow: Please stop that.
Gray: But we've just consumed poisoned pizza! We're going to die and…
Yellow: Shh. Try and be logical. It can't be poisoned. Why give it to us after he blew his identity? Gremlin would think we wouldn't eat it and therefore would simply throw it away.
Pink popped up behind Yellow, a Sherlock Holmes hat on her head.
Pink: Ah, but Watson, maybe that's just what he WANTED us to think!
Upon hearing that bit of grim news, Gray sprang to her feet and started running around again. Yellow pinched the bridge of her nose.
Yellow: You're not helping, Pink.
Pink: It's true though.
Pink pointed at Yellow, her finger right in her face.
Pink: (shrieking) Do not deny its truthiness!
Yellow just stared at the finger in her face. It was hard not to. Green appeared, a blubbering Gray attached to her leg.
Green: Would somebody get dis off me before I'm force ta beat da crap outta her?
Yellow: …Green, aren't you supposed to be watching Red?
Green: Hey, it ain't my fault dis girl got all clingy.
Red appeared in a cloud of blackness, a dark sneer on her face.
Red: WHAT IS GOING ON NOW? AND WHY DO YOU INSIST ON KEEPING ME UNDER GUARD? FATHER IS NO MORE. WHAT HAVE YOU LEFT TO FEAR FROM ME?
Pink: Your breath?
Red snarled and lashed out at Pink. With a giggle, Pink leapt over the attacking emotional representative and landed behind her.
Pink: Ta da!
Gray: We've been poisoned!
Yellow: We MAY have been poisoned.
Red: POISONED? ARE YOU FING KIDDING ME? SLOW ACTING POISONS DON'T WORK ON US, REMEMBER? OUR BODY PURGES SUCH…IMPURITIES FROM OUR BLOOD.
Pink: What about the nanosopic probes?
Red sweatdropped.
Red: THAT WAS A FLUKE. BESIDES, THEY WERE METAL, NOT A LIQUID OR SOMETHING.
Green: …I'm hungry.
The others nodded.
Reality
Raven shrugged and took a bite of a slice of pizza. That was some gooood pizza.
END PART ONE