Hey, I am really starting to enjoy writing this fic so you guys get another new chapter! Wow that's two in a row... Not much else to say, I'll try to make this an extra-long chapter!

Disclaimer: Don't own, geez guys. How many times do we have to go through this?

Arachnophobia To The Point Of Extinction

M.A.D. Men Are Difficult

Well we stayed there a couple months before leaving for the actual journey. Legolas and I became good friends, Pippin and Merry became accustomed to calling me "Angelique" and not "Ahh! It's the lady we ran over in the hallway!", all in all I grew closer to the people I would be spending a really long time with. Legolas was kind enough to teach me how to use a bow and arrow and Boromir gave me lessons in sword fighting. I almost hit Elrond the first time a bow was placed in my hands; he never came to watch any of my lessons after that. Boromir, although I didn't like him very much at first, grew on me; we are now friends and talk whenever we can. Sam is still a worry wart, always worrying about this and that. 'Do we have enough food?', 'Oh no, don't put that in there, we won't need that.', 'Mr. Frodo likes strawberries, do you think you could put some in there?' I swear another word out of that hobbit and it'll be a fellowship of TEN!

I had finally gotten to actually meet Arwen during our stay. She was so nice, always so polite, she was so beautiful too, and she was what I had always secretly wished I was. She and I became friends instantly and spent a lot of time together during the months we spent in Rivendell. Only a couple more days till we leave...

Well today was the day. We were finally leaving for Mordor. I was so nervous, I began to pace along my room. I had anticipated this day for months, now was not the time for second thoughts.

I walked outside my room to find Legolas; I really needed someone to talk to now. I found Legolas surrounded by elves, of the female variety no doubt. I was overcome by the green eye of jealousy, I wonder if it's related to Sauron's big eye? Well since Legolas is obviously too busy for me, I guess I must find someone else to talk to. Normally I would have sought out my sister first, but she was still sleeping, and therefore practically dead and useless to everyone.

Let's see next in line would be Frodo, but I don't want to disturb him with my worries. It would just make him feel more nervous about HIS journey, and I didn't need him to worry about me. Arwen! How could I forget Arwen? Well I'll just have to seek her out now and apologize, secretly to her in my head and all will be forgiven. I found Arwen sitting outside admiring the scenery.

I sat down next to her on the bench. "Arwen, can I talk to you?"

She smiled, "Of course mellonamin. my friend"

"Arwen, I'm nervous about what's going to happen. Actually I am not nervous about what is going to happen because I know what is going to happen. I guess I am nervous about what I will do when the time comes for me to do something."

Arwen looked puzzled, "Mellon friend what did you mean when you said that you knew what was going to happen?"

Oh shoot.. "I-I-... I meant... oh man..."

I lowered my head, "Arwen, I have something to tell you, but you absolutely cannot tell anyone else! Ok?"

"I understand, mellon."

"Arwen, my sister and I aren't from around here. You could probably tell by the way we act, the way we were dressed when we were found, and by our accents. Well we're REALLY not from around here. We're not even from this world. Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, a man named JRR Tolkien wrote a book. This book was called 'The Lord of The Rings'. The book that Tolkien wrote is basically a book about everything that is about to happen and what has happened before that has lead up to the destruction of the ring."

"So a man from your world wrote a book containing knowledge of all of our lives and the history of Middle-Earth?"

I smiled; she was getting this, "Yes that's exactly what I am saying!"

Arwen looked at me, "So you know what is going to happen to Estel.."

"Estel? Oh you mean Aragorn.. Yes I know what is going to happen to him, and you."

"Mellon you must tell me! I need to know what will happen to us!"

I took Arwen's hands and looked at her, "Arwen, you know I can't do that. You have to believe that Aragorn will return to you. You have to have faith in HIM, not in something that I tell you."

Arwen stood up, "I understand, thank you. I am going to seek him out so that I may spend what little time we have left together with him before he leaves. And I do have faith in him mellon."

I watched her leave. Well that was productive, I guess. I wandered about the halls for a bit looking for Legolas once again. Maybe his throng of worshippers would leave him alone for a couple of minutes and he would give me another lesson. I found him at the archery range getting ready to shoot an arrow. Hah! This would be a great time to sneak up on him.

I slowly tiptoed behind and was about to shoot 'Boo!' when he turned around and said, "Angelique, I do not think that you remember that elves have very good hearing?"

Damn elf hearing, it would've been a good joke too!

"You know that that is really not fair. Isn't there, ya know, an off switch to your hearing? One day I would like to be able to sneak up on an elf!"

The elves around us laughed, as well as Legolas, "Maybe one day lirimaer lovely one, but today is not that day!"

"I do not find myself 'lovely' Legolas Greenleaf, so if you'd be so kind as to not call me that. I would appreciate it."

He wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, "You may not find yourself lovely, my lady, but there are some that do."

He moved away and chuckled. I didn't find that funny! He was too close, and his breath was so warm.., it sent shivers up and down my spine. Well another elf to add to the list of those that don't know the meaning of 'personal boundaries'.

I was about to retort with something, obviously very witty, I mean this is me we're talking about, when Aragorn came in through the door.

"We are leaving, now!"

We had been traveling a couple of weeks, when we stopped to take a rest.

My sister grimaced, "Man my feet hurt!" She sniffed herself,"And I smell! Blech! Ang what about you?"

I looked at my sister, laughing, "Well Vick, my feet hurt a bit too, but I doubt I smell as bad as you do!"

She smiled, "Oh look who's talking!"

"I wouldn't talk about personal hygiene with you Vickie; you shower about as much as Aragorn!" I laughed.

Aragorn smiled and then laughed, "I highly doubt that..."

I laughed and then stopped to observe what everyone was doing. Sam was making lunch with Frodo helping him, Gandalf was sitting across from Gimli, Legolas was on lookout I guess, Boromir was trying to teach Pippin and Merry how to sword fight, Vickie was bugging Sam about when lunch would be ready, and Aragorn was watching the hobbits train with Boromir while smoking his pipe.

Boromir smiled, "Two, One, Five. Good, very good."

Aragorn took his pipe out of his mouth, "Move your feet."

Pippin tried it again, moving his feet this time.

Merry watched, "That's good, Pippin."

Pip smiled, "Thanks."

Boromir looked at them, "Move faster!"

"If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome."

I looked at Gimli and Gandalf.

Gandalf said sternly, "No Gimli, I would not take the roads through Moria unless I had no other choice."

I turned back to the hobbits and their lessons, "Come on, good."

"Aaaah!" I looked at Pippin and saw that Boromir had accidentally nicked him.

Boromir looked at Pippin's hand, "I'm sorry."

I watched as Pippin kicked Boromir in the shin. I laughed; it was funny to see a grown man get kicked by a hobbit!

"Aaah!"

Merry let out a war cry, "Get him!"

Pippin screamed, "For the Shire!"

I watched their mock battle, and saw Boromir 'go down'.

"Hold him! Hold him, Merry!"

"He's got my arm, he's got my arm!"

I turned away from them and looked at Sam. He seemed to be staring at something in the sky. I turned my head upwards and saw a little black cloud.

Sam turned to me, "What is that?"

Gimli snorted, "Nothing. Just a whiff of a cloud."

Boromir looked up also, "It's moving fast...against the wind."

Legolas came up from behind a rock shouting, "Crebain from Dunland!"

Aragorn shouted, "Hide!" While Sam put out the fire for the food and hid the food under a blanket.

"Merry, Frodo! Come on, come on take cover!"

I just stood there, "Dunland? Where the hell is Dunlan..Oof!"

Luckily my elf saved me; I kind of hoped he would've saved me in a more traditional manner. Rather than tackling me to the ground and dragging me under a rock. But I guess you have to remember, this is Middle-Earth, their ways are different here.

I watched the seemingly innocent flock of black birds fly over us and go southward. We were cowering under a rock because of giant black birds!

Gandalf came out from under a rock, "Spies of Saruman! The passage south is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras."

Of course, the birds are spies of Saruman! I knew that.. Wait? He said the Pass of Caradhras! Man.. that place is really cold...

Legolas stood up from his hiding place beneath the rock, helping me up, "You should really be more careful arwenamin." my lady

I scowled, but inside I was smiling, "Legolas, how many times do I have to tell you?"

Legolas smiled, "Atleast once more, arwenamin."

I ran toward my sister so that I was walking next to her, "Ergg! And people say men are difficult? I say nay! Its the elven men that are difficult!"

My sister laughed, "I believe that it is just males in general that are difficult!"

I nodded my head, "Yes, all males except for those that are hobbits!"

Frodo and Sam smiled. Pippin and Merry ran up to us, bowed their heads, and asked if they could escort us to the Pass of Caradhras.

We smiled, "We would be honored kind sirs." We linked arms with them and mimicked walking into a ball, all the way to the pass.

We were a few hours into the pass, and it wasn't getting any warmer! I looked at poor Frodo struggling to walk up the mountain and then to Legolas who was way ahead of us on lookout.

I turned to Frodo, "You know what Frodo? I think Elves should have some flaw. I mean they are absolutely gorgeous, they have perfect hearing, they're not bothered by the cold, AND they can walk on snow! I mean it's just not fair!"

Frodo smiled, and Pippin jumped into our conversation, "I agree wholeheartedly. Hobbits should be able to walk on snow too!"

I chuckled, "Pippin, that's not what I meant.."

"You mean you don't think that Hobbits should be able to walk on snow?"

"I-no... never mind..."

I looked at Aragorn, and beyond him Frodo, who had fallen behind since our conversation. He would lose his footing soon and..

"Ungh!" There he goes..

Frodo rolled a bit and then stopped. I watched him pick himself up off the ground and begin searching for the ring. I could tell, by the look on his face, that the realization had dawned on him, that he had dropped the ring.

Aragorn looked worried, "Frodo!"

But Frodo wasn't listening, he was looking at Boromir. Aragorn turned to look at Boromir, "Boromir.."

Boromir's eyes were glazed, "It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing... such a little thing."

I will not lose a friend! I shouted, "Boromir! Give Frodo the ring, NOW!"

Boromir handed over the ring to Frodo, "As you wish, I care not.."

I watched Boromir for a bit, and continued walking up the mountain. After a couple of minutes I could hear something, something very faint, but there none the less.

Legolas came towards us from the front, "There is a fell voice in the air!"

Gandalf turned, "Its Saruman!"

At that moment a small avalanche came down upon us, missing us by a hair and no more.

Aragorn looked in disbelief, "He is trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf we must turn back!"

Gandalf shouted, "No!"

"Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith! Sleep Caradhras, be still, lie still, hold your wrath!

I could hear, faintly, Saruman's words.

"Cuiva nwalca Carnirasse; Nai yarvaxea rasselya; taltuva notto-carinnar! Wake up cruel Redhorn! May your bloodstained horn fall upon enemy heads!

I watched lightning strike the top of Caradhras and engulf us in a second avalanche. I saw Legolas snatch Gandalf from the edge, before he was completely consumed by the snow.

I emerged out of the snow, spitting out some snow that had gotten into my mouth.

"Hey Vickie? You alive?"

I saw her head pop out from some of the snow, "Yeah, I'm okay. Let's see if we can free Merry and Pip from this Winter Wonderland."

We found them safely near Boromir making, would you believe it, snow hobbits.

"We go to save you and we find you, safely here, making.. making.. What in heavens name are you making?"

My sister looked at me, "Isn't it obvious? Their making snow hobbits! Albeit horrible ones, but that's because no one has ever taught them how to make a proper snow angel!"

I rolled my eyes and rubbed my temples, "I do not have the patience for this.."

Aragorn walked by laughing at my misery and gave me a pat on the back, "Don't worry I feel you're pain."

"Ha! You wanna feel pain mister! I'll show you pain!" I picked up a lump of snow and formed it into a sphere, and I threw it at him! I had just started the biggest snowball fight ever in the history of Middle-Earth!

But our good cheer was ruined when we found Gandalf and the others.

"If we cannot pass over a mountain, let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria."

Gandalf shook his head and looked grim, "Let the ring-bearer decide."

I watched Frodo glance at Sam and then say, "We will go through the mines."

"The walls of Moria!" Gimli said in awe.

I approached the wall, lightly touching the carvings, "It's beautiful.."

I heard Gandalf step beside me, "Now, let's see. Ithildin -- it mirrors only starlight and moonlight."

As soon as he said that the moon appeared from behind the clouds and the door was revealed.

Gandalf walked closer to the door, "It reads "The doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak friend and enter."

Frodo sat down on a nearby rock, while Merry asked, "What do you suppose that means?"

Gandalf said matter-of-factly, "Oh it's quite simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the doors will open."

"Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen! Gate of the Elves open now for me!" When it didn't work he tried to push the door open with his staff.

Time passed and Gandalf still couldn't figure out that all he had to do was say 'mellon' and the doors would open.

Gandalf walked to the doors one more time, "Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa! Gate of Elves listen to my word, Threshold of Dwarves!

I watched as Aragorn unhitched Bill's bridle, "The mines are no place for a pony, even one so brave as Bill."

I watched Sam wipe away a tear, "Buh-bye Bill.."

Aragorn tried to comfort Sam, "Go on, Bill, go on. Don't worry Sam, he knows the way home."

I turned my attention once again on Gandalf who sat down next to Frodo, defeated.

"Oh! It's useless."

I chuckled, "Gandalf, why don't you ask Frodo what he thinks.."

Frodo nodded, "I think it's a riddle. Speak 'friend' and enter. What's the Elvish word for friend?"

I smiled, "Mellon."

The doors opened and I walked into the mines side by side with Legolas.

Gimli smiled, "Soon master elf you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!"

Boromir looked grim, "This is no mine, it's a tomb!"

I winced as I noticed that the floor was littered with dwarf corpses.. I felt Legolas wrap an arm around me.

I looked at him and he hugged me closer.

Gimli ran towards the corpses, "NO! OH NO! NOOOO!

Legolas examined an arrow from the body of a fallen dwarf and then threw it away in disgust. I looked at him.

"Goblins.."

Vickie looked at me, "So I'm guessing these aren't the little tiny ones that steal you're shoes at night, right?"

I let out a dry laugh, my sister could still find humor even in the most dire moments..

Boromir, Aragorn, and Legolas all had drawn out their swords, searching the mines for any sign of movement.

Boromir looked at all of us, "We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here."

We all started for the door, when I heard something stir.

"Now get out of here, get out!" Boromir shouted.

I stopped in my tracks and watched Frodo run towards the door.

Boromir looked at me like I was crazy, "I said get out!"

I watched as a tentacle wrapped around Frodo's ankle and pulled, dragging him towards the water.

"FRODO!" I ran towards the water taking out the bow Legolas had given me. It wasn't as good as his but it would suffice.

I saw Sam draw try to cut off the tentacles holding Frodo. I notched an arrow quickly and tried to aim for the tentacles near Sam. I hit a couple, but my aim isn't as good as Legolas'. I figured this was going too slow so I put my bow back and found a dropped sword and slashed at a tentacle.

"Into the mines!"

"Legolas! Aim for his eye! Come on!"

I turned back to head for the doorway when one of the tentacles grabbed my ankle. I screamed, this thing was really scary! Then Legolas shot the tentacle holding my ankle, grabbed me, and we ran for the doorway.

Once inside, I felt moderately better, considering I had a slimy thing wrapped around my leg the moment before. Yes, I would say I felt a lot better.

I looked at Frodo, "Are you alright?"

Frodo smiled weakly, "I should be asking the same of you."

I shook my head, "No Frodo, I am unimportant."

Gandalf turned, "No one here is unimportant, we all have a part to play in this."

I nodded ashamed, "I understand it's.. it's nothing."

"Well, now that that is cleared up. We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world."

We walked up the steps, each stair step becoming wider than the last. I accidentally bumped against the wall causing the hilt of my sword to scratch against the wall.

Gandalf looked at me, "Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed."

FOUR DAYS! I can't be quiet for four days!

We soon entered a really big cave, with two ways we could go.

Gandalf stopped, "I have no memory of this place."

We sat down and rested while Gandalf thought about which way we should go.

Pippin sat down next to me, "Are we lost?"

Legolas and I smiled, "No."

Vickie smirked, "I think we are."

Sam looked agitated, "Shh! Gandalf is thinking!"

Pippin and Vickie looked at each other, "I'm hungry.."

I turned to Legolas, "Do they ever think of anything besides their stomachs? I am beginning to think that that is all they are!"

He laughed, "I would hope so, or all the food will be gone."

"Ang, do you miss home?"

I looked at Vickie. I had forgotten all about home, of course it never really was home for me.

"Ang, do you miss your friends? Ben?"

Legolas frowned and looked at me, "Who is Ben?"

I raised my hands, "Ben? Uhm.. he was...uh.. he was my uhm.. Gerbil! Yes, he was my Gerbil!" I grinned triumphantly.

Legolas looked skeptical.

"Don't worry Leggy. You will always be a'maelamin. my beloved"

I could hear gagging noises behind us.

"VICKIE!"

"What I'm sorry. It was my throat, really!"

I shook my head. Yes, it was her throat, which she would no longer have if she kept this up.

"Ah! It is that way!" I heard Gandalf proclaim.

Merry stood up, "He's remembered!"

"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose."

Vickie smirked, "The only reason the air doesn't smell so foul over there is because Aragorn was sitting near the other tunnel!"

I smacked her on the back of the head and Aragorn laughed.

Wow! This one was really, really, really long! Way longer than my normal ones! Well I hope you like this one and thanks to all of you who reviewed my earlier chapter including Amadea and Sweet A.K.!

My tabs aren't working right now for some weird reason. Once I figure it out I shall go back and fix it.