Chapter 4

Samantha

The icy air hit me like a ton of bricks. If it is possible the temperature was dropping. I thought if I can just make it to my room without completely falling apart then I would be fine. I have to get away from him or he is going to see it all. All the pain, all the frustration, all the hate but the worst of it all...all the love. I couldn't go there I was getting married in one month and I just couldn't do this. If I stop then I will never stop loving him and for my sanity I had to stop. It hurt too much. I knew Randy though, I knew that if he really wanted to talk to me then nothing would stop him.

I heard his door slam. He got out of the massive Escalade and ran over to block my path. I tried to go around him. I tried to go to either side but it was to no avail. He just blocked me. I was still looking down determined not to look at him. "Move," I screamed. He just stood there.

"No," he said. His voice was so tender but firm. I lost it. I started to sob harder than I had in two years. I don't remember exactly how everything that happened next happened. I felt as if I would faint but a pair of strong arms stopped me. My mind protested with everything that I had in me but my body refused to cooperate, maybe it was my heart that decided to pull rank on my head. I let him hold me, like a helpless child. I don't really know how long he held me as I cried I had lost all track of time. I could no longer feel the cold on my body. All I could feel was his warmth.

"Shhhhh, shhhhh," his one of his hands was rubbing my hair. "Sam I love you." I stopped crying and looked at him. Had I imagined that? Did he just say he loved me? I looked at him finally and saw he was as stunned as I was.

"What?" I whispered. He looked so unlike the Randy that I had seen lately. He looked like the Randy that I fell in love with. I think he was scared and I know I was.

Randy

Oh, no. I can't believe I said that. I don't know what to say. Maybe I just should say it again at the risk of losing her, there was only one problem with that: I will have put everything out on the table and then she will know. There is no taking it back if I say it again, I knew that. She just looked at me, she was searching my eyes, looking for some glimmer of truth. I wanted to run from her just as she had tried to run from me, but I created this and it was time. If I didn't do it now I would never have another opportunity. I wanted her to reach out and touch me, I wanted reassurance that if I did this she would say it back. But she did nothing but look at me.

"Sam," I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I love you." This time she touched my face and I felt as if I would fall the way she almost did. I opened my eyes and I saw all the uncertainly that there could possibly be. But underneath it all I saw her. I saw her love. She loved me still. So I decided to take another chance.

I pulled her to me and kissed her. I kissed her hard and long and she kissed me back. I felt her arms rise and go around my neck. She was as hungry as I was. She wanted more and so did I. I picked her up somehow and without remembering how we actually got inside the hotel. I don't even remember the elevator. All I knew was she was there and even if it was wrong, even if she was wearing another man's ring, she was mine in this moment. I didn't see the future and I had somehow forgotten the past all Sam and I had was here and now.

Samantha

I couldn't explain the hold that he had over me, the power that he possesed in his kiss. I wanted him. Part of me needed him. I never knew that something that was tecinlly so wrong could feel so right. I don't remember how we got to the elevator but we did. I saw him fumble with the button to get us to the top floor. It's the penthouse, of course nothing less for Mr. Orton. Then he came back and he slammed me against the wall of the elevator. I kissed him and finally felt the fire that I thought had burned out. Oh God how I needed him. In every way. I loved him.

"Oh Randy," I managed to get out in a low whisper. " I love you." There it was the three words that completely complicated my life all over again. That provoked him more. I felt him start to take his coat off of me.

"Sam," he moaned in that low sexy voice that I had longed to hear and wanted to run as far away from as possible.

"DING" The elevator swung open. He pulled me out without interrupting the kiss. I am not sure how we got into the room, I remember hitting a lot of walls. He fumbled with his key and the door swung open.

"I need you Sam." I kissed him harder and pushed him onto the bed and finally stripped off his coat then my own and crawled onto his lap. I felt him underneath me. I pulled his sweatshirt over his head. And ran my hands down his tan, sculpted stomach. I felt his moan catch in his throat. This was it, there was no way that we could take it back now, it had all become to real again.

Randy

RING….RING…I could hear the phone screaming in the distance. I chose to ignore it because I knew that if we stopped that the moment would have been broken. I knew Sam she would snap to her senses and then all hope would be lost of reconciliation tonight. She stopped kissing me and I knew I had to take charge or it would be over. I would like to strangle whoever is on the other end of that phone. "Ignore it." I said. Flipping her over and placing another kiss on her lips, she resisted at first then to my surprise gave in. Every moment more was pushing me to the edge of intoxication. She surrounded me, all there was in the world was her and me and this minute. Then there was something else RING…RING…RING…RING. 'Damn that phone.'

"Stop…Randy…Stop." She wiggled out of my embrace and sat up breathless.

I moved forward to start again. "Ignore it."

"No, they have called twice it may be important." She said. I could tell that she was still coming back to reality and it had not totally hit her yet. RING, RING…I have to admit the loud ringing was getting on my nerves.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes and picked up the phone. "Hello." I said. I listened; the snowstorm had made the line have static on it.

"Randy," Trish's voice sounded so far away and so distant in my ear.

"Not now." I said and started to hang up.

"Wait, I am back at the hotel and want to make earlier up to you." She said sounding somewhat upset.

"Not necessary. I'm tired go to bed." I said trying desperately to cut it short.

Her voice raised, "No I am coming over with or without your permission we need to talk." I hadn't seen her angry in quite sometime. Depressed yes, sad yes, but angry no. This was not the time.

"No," I said. "Goodnight." And hung up hoping desperately that she would just stay in her room.

Samantha

(Sam's thoughts during the phone call)

The moment the phone rang and notified us both that we were no longer in our own world where we could forget the damage that this could do to us or the others involved, innocent or not, something about looking around Randy's penthouse suite took me back to the moment that he threw me out of one. I fought not to have my memory take over but lost the battle unsussesfully. The main thing that I will never forget is the silence that hung in the air.

Flashback

Slience.

That is all there is when there is nothing more to say. I was too afraid to cry yet. I was too afraid to yell, too afraid to whisper but most of all to afraid to say the words that I should have said more than anything, I'm sorry. I knew that none of it would matter anyway, that no matter what happened at that moment that he would still walk out that door. I knew that there was nothing that I could say that would change his mind. I was helpless.

I never thought that it would ultimately be me that tore us apart. He stared the tear and I ripped it until there was nothing left of both of our hearts. I had never seen him cry not until this fight, not until I twisted the knife. I knew that it had been a mistake from the beginning. I knew the whole time because it had just felt too wrong. With ever touch, with every kiss I knew what I was doing. I won't tell you that it was uncontrollable, because it was. Premetated? No, but still controlable.

He stood in frount of the door and he just looked at me. His icy exterior had been washed away by the grief that I caused him. I don't understand this, I mean he had to expect it, he had done it too. He never came out and said it, of course not. But I saw it, I saw them, now all the private conversations and unideitifed phone calls made since. When I saw her in his arms kissing him, thouching him, and him reciprocating, I lost it I ran and I ran and I ended up there in that bar, and as fate would have it sitting beside of Tom Brady from the New England Patriots.

Randy used to tease me about my slight crush on him. Here it was the wrong time, the wrong place, and most deifnatly the wrong oppertuinty. How better to hurt him? Do to him what he did to me. Crack his heart like he had shattered mine. I knew it was wrong, but Tom was so sweet. He was attentive, caring, warm, and acted like I was the most beautiful girl in the city. I am not making excuses for what I did because there really are none, it is unjustifiable.

I wish that I could lie and say that the mix of rum and coconut took over and I didn't know what was happening but that would be a lie. I was drunk but not that drunk. I was sick of being the good girl. Poor Tom Brady never even knew what hit him. I took his number when leaving his room with no intentions of calling him. My heart only belonged to one person and as much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn't, not yet anyway.

"Get out," he said in a cold angry voice that was so unlike the Randy that I had fallen in love with. I just sat there and looked up and him, tears had started to fall now.

"Randy please listen…" I begged. It was finally hitting me what we had done to one another. Oh God I was going to lose him. Even after what I witnessed I wanted to work through it with him.

"Get the fuck out Samantha." He said louder than he had before.

"Randy talk to me please…" I stood up and started toward him. He walked to my suitcase, picked it up and flung my belongings across the hall. I was stunned. I reached out to touch him and he pulled away.

"Get out!" He yelled. I just looked at him sobbing. He grabbed me hard on the arm and pushed me out the door and proceeded to slam it in my face. How could he do this to me? I know I was wrong but so was he. He did it first. All I remember is sitting on the floor sobbing. And after an unmesrable amount of time I gather my things off the floor, but I left one thing: My heart beaten and broken on his door.

When I snapped back to reality he was just looking at me. At some point the he must have ended the call. All I could remember was how hurt I had been and how confused I was now. In this moment I was so unsure of what my next step had to be but I knew that I had to be away from him, if only for a little while to figure it out.

Randy

When I turned back to her I could see it in her eyes, something had changed, something was wrong. "Sam?" I said. She didn't say anything. I moved in to kiss her again I figured it was worth a shot. She moved out of my grasp.

"Randy we need to talk." I wasn't really in the mood to talk what was it with everyone just wanting to talk. I knew that she was right and I knew that Trish was right. I knew that I had to tell her about the set up anyway. It just felt so good to hold her and to kiss her that I think it would kill me to lose her again, even though I wasn't sure if I had her. I sighed.

"I need…um…. Some time to process this…" She said. I could see that she had been thinking, about what was a mystery to me. Sam could hide things well but most of the time I could see right through her.

"Okay," I said trying to be understanding.

"Alone," She said. She looked up at me and started to adjust her shirt. When I knew what I had to do. She deserved to know the truth.

"Fair enough, but I need to tell you something." I said. I took a deep breath and prayed that somehow even though I was defintaly not the person to ask the big man upsairs any favors that he would have my back.

Samantha

I just sat back down and nodded, the look in his eyes was a mix of regret and fear. I had no idea what he was going to say but I knew that he was scared to say it. My stress drive had already kicked into high gear with the realization that I just cheated on Brady . I had always cheated on him in my heart, weather I would admit it or not. I was just so confused. Could I trust Randy?

But it was real. I had wanted Randy there was no denying that I could see it even through my cloud of confusion. I still wanted him. I didn't just want him for one night, I wanted him forever and it was killing me. Brady was the right type of guy, he loved me, I could trust him. Randy I still wasn't sure of. Every logical bone in my body was fighting with my heart that was screaming it was tired of grieving for the loss of Randy Orton. I was terrified of the next steps no matter what they may be.

Part of me wanted to reach out to reassure him, because it was so rare that anyone see the Randy Orton that I was witnessing right now. He looked so scared and so torn and aggravated at the same time. I still didn't know who called but part of me wanted to even though I didn't have a right. The memories of the messy break up that night haunted my thoughts everyday for two years but somehow tonight had made it more real than it had felt in a long time. Randy tood a deep breath.

"Sam," He said so softly. I said nothing I was too afraid. "What you saw…That night…With Trish." He sounded so different so vunrable, just like he looked that night he tossed me and my suitcase out into the hallway. "It wasn't real…I didn't sleep with Trish."

Now I was stunned. He was lying. I saw him…them. His voice was so unsteady. He seems so honest. I felt the something start to rise up in me and I wasn't sure what it was anger and hurt were running at me full force within my heart.

"I saw you." I said hard and almost cold. The pain the hurt was all coming back but the worst of it all was the hate.

"Listen," he looked up into my eyes. "Sam you were a bet." I felt the tears start come to my eyes now. I looked at him for understanding. I saw fear. "Trish bet me I could sleep with you 2 years ago. The plan was to leave you, to break you heart, to hurt you. What you saw was an act." He was looking scared still and hurt, not by me but by himself. He faked it. He faked his relationship with me. He faked loving me. I was wrong. Everything that I had known with him, everything that I thought he felt for me was a lie. I was wrong. I felt myself start to lose control. "Sam stop…listen to me…please." He started.

"No, you listen to me you son of a bitch." I rose and so did he. "How dare you request anything of me after what you have done. Did you think that it would be funny to play upon and innocent girl's heart?" I screamed. "Did you think that it would be fun to make me fall in love with you?" I screamed louder. "Well guess what Randy Orton I hate you and I always will." I turned to leave and he grabbed my hand.

"No you have to let me finish." He said. If I had looked at him I would have seen the pain in his eyes, the remorse in his face. But I couldn't.

"Let go of me Randy. I don't have to let you do anything." I struggled free. "What was all of tonight a sick joke too? I bet you told Trish 'let's break her and Tom Brady up. Let's ruin her life.'" I said. He grabbed me holding me arms at my side.

"Sam I love you. I fell in love with you. I messed up. When it was time to go through with it I didn't want to but I was young and stupid and you scared the hell out of me. Like you do now, but now I know what I want. Please don't hate me, please just listen. You don't have to forgive me, but I want you to know that I didn't sleep with her that night, after you walked in I stopped everything. I went looking for you. It was my fault you slept with Tom Brady that night I know that, and I know why you did it. I was stupid and hurt that is why I kicked you out all the while knowing that it was my fault. I love you and you can walk out of that door if you want I will not hold you here but don't think for one second that I will not stand and fight for you to stay. I know you hate me right now, but I had to tell you the truth, you deserved it. But Sam deep down I know you love me too. You can hide it with your perfect little life but I see right through it or you would have never let what almost happened almost happen." With that he relased me and he had tears in his eyes to match my own. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I felt. I didn't know what to do.

"I need to go…I need to think…" was all I could manage to say. I turned to walk out the door and didn't look back. I some how opened the door and stumbled into the hallway without collapsing. I had to get out of the hotel. I didn't know where I was going, I didn't care I just had to go.

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