Chapter 4: Villains and Knaves

Jack Sparrow was waiting in his cabin in the Pearl. He watched Ana follow Gibbs in, and watched them both take a seat.

"Ana, Joshamee and I have an idea. We'd like to get some more jolly mayhem started in the Caribbean. Y'know, cause trouble for Norrington, keep him off our backs and all. So, do you know of any imprisoned smugglers we could potentially use?"

"Smugglers? Not ships?"

"No. Just smugglers. I know of a pretty good port that's perilously undefended, and criminally mismanaged." He grinned as he remembered his first official act of piracy.

FLASHBACK

"Well, Jack, lad, how's the business of villainy and knavery suiting you?"The young Jack Sparrow looked up at the older man from whom he'd eventually steal his fashion sense-a one James O'Neal.

"It's absolutely droll. For the past 4 years, I've done no pillaging, kidnapping, looting, or ravaging. And that and the piracy are the things I signed up for."

James smiled. "Well, lad, I think you'll be getting' that last bit pretty soon."

"How soon?" Forget the ravaging, Jack wanted to pirate something.

James said, "That depends."

"On what?"

"On how fast you think you can push her into that little port there." He pointed to a town ahead of them. "That there's Jamestown. What you're gonna do is sail us right in fast as you can push her, and then you and I shall take part of the crew ashore to raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer our weaselly black guts out."

"And...that's...your plan, is it?"

"That's about it, yeah."

There was a pause. Then Jack grinned widely. "Well I like it. So are we taking loot, company, or ships?"

O'Neal smiled. "As much of each as we can get."

Jack looked ahead. "Superb. Well, then, I shall be taking the helm." Jack proceeded to march back, and take over for old John Cotton, a pirate who'd had his tongue cut out by the same pirate who took his son. Since then, he'd taught a parrot to speak for him, a nice lime green parrot that spoke good, understandable English.

When Jack took over, he spewed orders. "Full sails, arms to braces! Make ready the guns!" As the sails billowed out, Jack watched the Jolly Roger rise over the sails to the topmost part of the mast.

For the next five minutes, the Black Pearl sailed toward Jamestown at the fastest she'd ever gone. The ship's hull bounced across the waves when it wasn't crashing through them. And Jack Sparrow was having the time of his life.

Once in the port, the cannons, commanded by Cotton, pounded the defenses and made a mess of the resistance onshore. Then, in the longboats, Jack Sparrow and James O'Neal led half the crew to pirate away.

The scene in the town was incredible. Guns roared and women screamed as they ran through shops, stealing all they could, especially any Bailey's (An Irish liquor that O'Neal, being Irish, enjoyed) and rum (on Jack's orders). Meanwhile, others broke into the blacksmiths' shops and stole swords by the armful. Still others stole rifles and food, as well as cannonballs and powder.

While this all happened, Jack and James prowled the wharf.

"Hmm...too fat...too light for cannon..." James was pacing through the abandoned ships, examining each one. Jack had his sword loose, but didn't expect to use it. Then, James said, "A-HA!"

Jack spun. "Where?"

James pointed. "There! The very one!" It was a Royal Navy ship. Not very big, but hardly small, it certainly looked like a good pick. However...

"Won't there be men aboard?"

"Not with all the trouble we're causing. They're probably trying to keep the peace. And failing miserably." Then he walked to the gangplank, and stopped. "Damn."

Jack looked and said, "Don't you hate it when I'm right?"

"Ah, it's just two men. It'll be no problem at all. Sheath that sword, brother, best not offset them." He walked up to the marines, who tensed at his presence.

"Who're you?"

"I'm part of the militia. We heard there might be pirates aboard. Mind if we have a look?" He moved to pass, but they stopped him.

"We do. We've seen no pirates come aboard."

"To be sure, not by this way. But this ship does have boarding ladders on either side, does it not? Is it not possible that some got aboard that way?"

They still did not budge, though Jack saw that they were wavering in James' presence. It was very entertaining to watch; Jack was fighting a smile.

"We'd have heard them come aboard."

"Well, I must insist that we be allowed to look," James persisted.

The first marine looked at him. "You don't look familiar. I don't think you're in the militia. What are your names?"

Jack said, "He's O'Connell; I'm Smith. Or Smithy, if you like."

"And what is your business here, misters O'Connell and Smith?"

The second marine spoke up. "Yeah, and no lies!"

Jack shrugged. "Fine, then. We confess. It is our intention to pick up our crew, commandeer this ship, raid, pillage, plunder, and otherwise pilfer our weaselly black guts out." He widened his eyes for effect on the last bit.

"He said no lies," The first marine threatened.

The second looked at them funny. "I think they're telling the truth."

The first looked at him if he were stupid. "If that were what they were doing, he wouldn't have told us."

James spoke up. "Unless of course we knew you wouldn't believe the truth, even if we told you."

They marines looked at each other, bemused.

"...And then they made me their chief," James finished. For the past twenty minutes, he'd described an escapade with the red Indians that was exhilarating, scary, thrilling...

And a complete crock.

Then at a look from James, he and Jack pulled the Marines' pistols, and clubbed them over the head with them. James said, "I thought they'd never stop listening."

"Probably could have said you were a sea creature and that you were hiding your other 27 tentacles behind your back, and they'd still believe you."

"You forgot the part about your story-the fact that you're really 127 and your Davy Jones' cousin's nephew, twice removed."

"And have a lovely singing voice, too," Jack added.

"Eunuch."

Jack shook his head. "Are all Marines this stupid?"

"Not all, but more than a few. Well, shall we round up the usual suspects?"

"No need," Jack said, looking over the side. "They've figured it out themselves." He indicated the torches coming their way, as well as the hollers and hoots of laughter and drunkenness.

"So what's 'er name, O'Neal? The ship, I mean."

O'Neal leaned over the side and looked. "Her name's the Pursuit."

Jack nodded as he pawed through the supplies onboard. "And are you taking this ship?"

"Well, yes; a pirate gets a fleet going if he can, brother," James said, his Irish accent returning thick as it always did when he dodged questions.

"Not the question I asked, mate." Jack glanced over his shoulder at him.

"Well..." O'Neal looked around the ship for a long time. Then he said, "I think I will; she's a bit bigger than the Pearl is, and definitely better armed. So then, you'll have the Pearl, and I'll have the Pursuit."

Jack stared at him. "You're giving me the Pearl? But I've..."

"You've what? Not enough experience?" James tilted his head at Jack. "You're a natural at the sea, and I've never seen the Pearl move as fast or as well as she does under you, brother. So she's yours." Jack gazed at the Pearl in wonder as James continued. "Gotta change the name, though. The lead ship in a fleet has to have a big, grand name." Then Jack smiled. "Give me that green paint." James gave him the bucket.

Jack grabbed a rope and swung over to the side and painted for a time. Then he came up. James looked suspiciously at Jack. "What did you do?"

"You're not sailing the Pursuit anymore, mate; Pride of Ireland is the flagship of the fleet."

END FLASHBACK

"Set course for Jamestown. Once there, we shall steal a ship, then break into whatever prison you think of."

"There's a good prison in New York, New York. Navy locks up all the smugglers and rum-runners there."

"Well, then, let's get underway."