Arachnophilia.
This one was written for the 'Misunderstandings' challenge. I've just found it.
'Oh bugger', thought Aragog. 'Here he comes again to bend my aural receptors about his bloody chickens.
Aragog dislikes chickens. Vicious, beady eyed, arachnophagic . . . tasty though.
Whilst it is true that disciplining those of her children who are sufficiently unwise to attempt to snack upon the giant will solve the problem of what to have for supper, she just wishes that, just for this one time, the overgrown pillock would leave the 'man to man' talk out of it. She wonders if, perhaps, a bit of sexual education might be in order.
It might even be interesting.