Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Warner Brothers or Dorothy Parker Drank Here or anyone else attached in any way with Gilmore Girls.

Chapter 14 – All the King's Horses

Luke's phone begins to ring. Lorelai is usually the only one who calls him on his cell. He can count on one hand all of the people who have this number, Lorelai, April, Anna, Liz, and Jess.

Luke answers the call feeling a bit uneasy. It's Anna.

Without any common greeting like "Hello" or "Hey" Anna simply blurts out, "I hope you're satisfied! My daughter almost died because of you!"

Luke's chest feels like it's constricting as the words strangle in his throat. "April's…April's hurt?" is all he can get out.

As suddenly as her rage against Luke had formed, it now simply extinguishes and dies, leaving Anna with only her fears and anxiety. Fear overtakes her and all she can utter between her sobs is "Fire, April, hospital." Then she hangs up.

Luke is horrified. Something happened to April and he doesn't know what. He doesn't know if she's hurt or (God forbid) dead or anything. He just knows that something happened and he has to get to her.

Lorelai watches as Luke answered his phone. The color begins draining from his face almost immediately and when he blurts out April's name his voice resonates with a cry more akin to a plaintive wail than human voice. Lorelai recognizes that sound. It is the sound of a parent's worse nightmare.

Eyes wide in fear, Luke stares at Lorelai and simply repeats what Anna said to him, "Fire, April, hospital." That's enough for Lorelai to understand. Without another word, she picks up her keys, seizes his arm and begins to drag him out the door to her car.

Sitting in the Jeep, Luke's senses begin to return. His entire conversation with Anna is replaying in his mind. She started out by saying that "her daughter" almost died, not is dead but almost died. "Okay," he tells himself, "she's not dead. "

Then the words "fire", "April", and finally "hospital", he took that to mean that April was in a fire and is now at the hospital. What hospital? He had no idea, Anna never said what hospital.

Luke starts to punch the buttons on his phone. "Damn it she's got to tell me at least what hospital." But he can't get her to answer her phone. Frustrated, he starts smashing the phone against the dashboard. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

Lorelai reaches over to place her hand on his arm to stop him from beating up his phone. She wants to say something but she knows there is absolutely nothing that she can say at this point that will help him. He is a parent whose child is hurt and only finding out about April will help him.

He turns to look at her and says in a tormented voice, "She didn't even tell me what hospital. She said it's my fault. How is it my fault? April is supposed to be watching crayfish. There's no fire when you are watching crayfish. There is water and mud and rocks, and maybe some string and bacon but no fire. How could she be in a fire watching crayfish and how is it my fault? Oh, God maybe there was a forest fire. Where was the stream with the crayfish? Was it in a forest? Maybe she took the bacon and got hungry and built a fire to cook the bacon. Oh God, I shouldn't have told her about the string and bacon. Then she wouldn't have taken bacon and built a fire and got burnt. It is my fault."

"Shh-h-h-h," Lorelai whispers, "it's not your fault. Anna doesn't mean it, she's just scared. We're almost there so just hang on another five minutes.

Lorelai is torn between hating Anna for attempting to blame Luke for something that clearly is not his fault and understanding exactly why Anna is blaming Luke. This whole scenario is striking a little too close to an old memory.

Lorelai remembers a time when she too blamed Luke for something that wasn't his fault; for Rory's injury. When she yelled at Luke because her daughter had a fractured arm and she tried to make Luke feel responsible simply because he was taking care of his nephew. Lorelai had just been lashing out because she was scared. That's all that Anna is doing but it wasn't fair before and it isn't fair now.

When they arrive at the county hospital (Lorelai thinks, and where else would they take April but to the only hospital in the area that serves both Stars Hollow and Woodbridge?) Luke leaps out of the car and starts to run into the Emergency Room, but then he hesitates. He is scared and suddenly he can't move.

Lorelai comes up to him and wraps her arm around him. This is what he needs, he needs her strength to help him. They walk into the hospital together.

As soon as they enter, Luke immediately walks up to the desk to ask about April. Lorelai hangs back and looks around. She sees Anna sitting alone, looking scared and totally desolate. Her instinct is to put her arms around Anna and comfort her. Lorelai follows her instinct.

Anna is startled when Lorelai sits down next to her and puts her arms around her. This woman that she barely knows, the woman that Anna doesn't want anywhere near April is trying to comfort her. Anna can't process this now and doesn't try. She merely takes the comfort offered.

Luke comes over to the two women and says, "We can go in to see her now."

Anna gets up and starts to walk to her daughter. Lorelai remains seated. Luke looks at her and holds out his hand. Lorelai shakes her head and softly says, 'Go with Anna to see your daughter. I'll wait right here."

Luke follows Anna.

It is over 45 minutes before all three of them reappeared, Anna, Luke and April. April has a white gauze bandage wrapping her arm from just below her right elbow clear to her hand. Otherwise, she looks fine.

Lorelai sighs and feels the tension leave her body. April is alright.

Instinctually, Lorelai runs to April and gives her a big hug. Then she looks in deep the girl's eyes and admonishes, "You scared us, you know! If you want to rebel and perform self-mutilation, you might consider a nice tattoo of a crayfish on your hinny next time. Fire scars are not cool!"

April giggles nervously as she admits, "Maybe the French fries were not such a good idea."

Luke raises his eyebrows in reproach, "I told you that you are too young to…"

Lorelai catches his eyes in mid-sentence with the "this is so not the time" look so he stops.

Something suddenly occurs to April and she asks Lorelai, "What happened to your voice?"

Lorelai smiles and winks at Luke, "This is what happens when you sing at the top of your lungs for hours along Ashlee Simpson's Boyfriend C:D. I definitely need to warm up before I start my next concert!"

Anna is very uncomfortable with Luke and Lorelai hanging around. She wants them to leave so that she can spend time alone with April. "Well, you two don't have to stay. April is okay now, so she and I will just head home."

April, being more practical, asks her mother "How? You rode in the ambulance with me. We don't have the car."

Luke immediately offers to drive them home.

Anna attempts to decline the offer stating that they still need to go the pharmacy to get April's prescriptions. She tells him that it is silly for them to wait. She and April will just get a cab.

Luke looks at Anna firmly and states, "Don't be stubborn. Lorelai and I will go to the pharmacy with you and then we will take you home." And that was the end of that discussion.

Sookie is startled when Miss Patty and Babette drag her in the studio. She is even more alarmed when she finds half of the town in the studio waiting. It looks like a damn town meeting.

Sookie apprehensively asks Taylor who is standing behind the podium, "Is there a town meeting that I don't know about because you're supposed to publish a notice for a town meeting."

Taylor explains, "This is an official Special Town Meeting called to deal with an impending town crisis."

"What crisis, Taylor?" Sookie is really suspicious of anything that Taylor deems is a crisis.

"The Lorelai and Luke breakup crisis." replies Taylor with an air of superiority.

"What, the Lorelai and Luke breakup crisis? They aren't broken up, they are just working on their, ah, issues. Just leave them alone, this is none of your business!" responds Sookie indignantly. As much as Sookie really wants to interfere herself and push Luke and Lorelai to finally just get married, she, as Lorelai's best friend, feels that she has an obligation to protect the couple from the likes of Taylor and the rest of the town.

"Au contraire," rebuts Taylor, "this is very much a town issue. This couple has been together for over two years, give or take. They are together then they breakup in public I might add, actually in my store! Then they are back together again and suddenly they get engaged. They are engaged for over one year but still no wedding."

"Then we have to watch as they struggle with Rory's rebellion and then this mysterious long lost daughter appears. Then we have another public breakup, followed by a mental breakdown and a suicide attempt. Well, I have to say it has been like watching a damn soap opera with these two. That is not good for the reputation of Stars Hallow as a family community."

"Either they should break up permanently and one of them, preferably Luke, leave town or they have to get married. That's the official town position."

"What?" responds Sookie incredulously, "Taylor, you can't force them to breakup or to get married. It is none of your business. What are you going to do, tell them they have to get married or you're running Luke out of town on a rail? Or are you going to force them to get married; like a shot-gun wedding?"

Taylor opens his mouth to respond but before he can speak, Miss Patty, using her ample hips, knocks him away from the podium and takes over. "Dear, we don't plan to use an actually shot-gun. We just figured that we will get them drunk and throw a surprise wedding ceremony."

After hearing that, Sookie finds that she needs to sit down.

On Sunday morning, Lorelai is woken a little before eleven by the movement of the warm body lying in the bed next to her. It's not Luke since he left for the diner hours ago. Instead, she finds Rory laying in Luke's place staring at her.

"Good morning, Mother and it's about time, I'm starving. Sookie's here and she's making us breakfast. Get up, get up! It's a beautiful day."

Lorelai sits up and glares at Rory. Lorelai is not a morning person, particularly these days. She has always found Rory's tendency to be chipper first thing in the morning irritating but it is especially maddening today. She silently curses Christopher. Obviously Rory inherited this characteristic from his side of the gene pool. There's no way that she passed on the happy morning trait.

Rory hands Lorelai the glass of tomato juice that Luke left on the bedside table and orders, " Drink your juice and then get dressed, I'm hungry!"

"Grr!" is Lorelai's only response.

When Lorelai is dressed and in a little better mood, she descends the stairs to find her olfactory sense overwhelmed by warm and appetizing smells. Sookie has been baking her delicious Cinnamon Butter Coffee Cake.

Pulled towards the kitchen by the wonderful odors, Lorelai's spider sense is suddenly alerted. She can hear Sookie and Rory in a deep conversation and she suspects that she is the central topic.

Lorelai enters the kitchen and sees that Sookie made a breakfast feast. Besides the coffee cake, there are Eggs Florentine, cheese blintzes with fruit compote, breakfast potatoes, and an assortment of ham, bacon and sausages. She checks her mouth to make certain that she's not drooling before she asks, "What's the celebration?"

Suddenly noticing Lorelai's presence, Sookie jumps up, encircles both her and Rory in a big hug as she bounces up and down. "Ooh!—ooh!—ooh! My girls are back! This is wonderful, you're back!"

"Sookie, Sookie, we're happy you're happy, but hon, need oxygen, ribs breaking, getting seasick from bouncing."

Sookie immediately releases her grip as she jumps back, still screeching, "Ooh!—ooh!—ooh! I'm just so happy!"

Lorelai walks to the coffee pot registering that though there appears to be no coffee brewing at this time, there is a lingering fragrance of freshly brewed coffee in the air. She turns to Rory with a questioning look and says, "Where's the coffee?"

Sheepishly, Rory replies, "I'm sorry, I drank it all this morning. We are completely out."

Clearly agitated and slightly panicked, Lorelai pleads, "Rory, that's not funny. Mommy needs her coffee. We agreed that I would reduce, and I stress the term reduce, the amount of coffee. I'm only drinking two cups a day, just two cups compared to my normal ten to fourteen. But Mommy needs her coffee in the morning to get her heart pumping, blood circulating, brain functioning. Without coffee, there will be no pumping, circulating, or thinking!"

Rory, unsuccessfully hiding a smile, responds, "Sorry, no coffee but there is some decaf."

Growling, Lorelai sets out on a quest to find the hidden coffee. She knows that there was a nearly full canister yesterday. Though Rory did inherit her amazing tolerance for caffeine, even Rory can not consume that much coffee in twenty-four hours, especially since she wasn't even home during most of that period.

Lorelai looks in the freezer and refrigerator, checking in all containers including the milk carton. Then she progresses to the oven, dishwasher, under the sink (remembering her long ago dream), and all other cabinets and containers in the kitchen. No coffee but she did find the can of decaf which she immediately dumps in the trash.

Frustrated, Lorelai grabs her keys and heads for the front door where she is stopped by Rory who is standing in front of the door refusing to let her out.

"Where do you think you are going?" Rory asks.

"To get coffee."

"Mom, you know that Luke will not let you have any coffee."

"Fine, I'll go to Weston's or Al's, or even to the Dragonfly. If I have to, I'll head to Woodbridge. You can't stop me."

With that, Lorelai turns and heads for the kitchen to escape out the back door. Unfortunately for her, Sookie is blocking that door. "No coffee, Lorelai."

Lorelai turns again to make a run for the side door in the living room. There are three exits in her house and only two of them to try to block her. Unfortunately for Lorelai, Rory anticipated this move and is currently standing immediately behind her, completing trapping her in the kitchen.

"Rory, please if you love me at all, let me get my coffee, just one cup now and a second in the afternoon to keep me going. Otherwise, I will be really moody, like major suicidally depressed type mood. You do not want a suicidal pregnant woman for a mother. Plus severe caffeine withdrawal will cause my brain to explode. My head is already beginning to hurt. I can not go cold turkey. I'll be a shaky, spazzy, depressed pregnant woman with an exploding brain. That is so much worse for the baby than just a little caffeine." Lorelai is using her most pathetic plea look and allows tears to moisten her eyes. She isn't really acting, the thought of no coffee is pushing her to near hysteria.

Relenting as she knew that she would, Rory reaches behind and pulls at the baggie taped to her back. Holding it out towards Lorelai, who observes that it contains enough coffee grounds for at least one Lorelai size cup of coffee, Rory grins and says, "Here is your allotment for this morning. You will receive a second bag of coffee from Luke no earlier than 3:00 this afternoon."

Fearing a trick, Lorelai snatches the bag quickly and opens it to check for certain that it contains real coffee. She inhales a large whiff before stating, "Ahh, it's Luke's special blend but with something else." Looking at Rory suspiciously, "What else is mixed with this coffee?"

"Mom, you have to cut out caffeine for the baby but we know that it is dangerous to do that all at once, so we have come up with a graduated withdrawal plan."

"Who are we?"

"Luke, Sookie, and me."

Uh-huh, so you told Sookie about the baby and then all three of you decided to gang up on me, right?"

Smiling sheepishly, Rory admits, "Sorry Mom, it just sort of slipped out. I didn't mean to tell Sookie but it's alright isn't it. I mean you were planning on telling her right away. I mean, I know that you want to keep it a secret from the town for now but not Sookie, right?"

Sookie pipes up, "I should be hurt that you didn't tell me sooner, but I will forgive you this time because of you being kind of crazy lately."

Lorelai frowns at the reference that she is being crazy but then decides to let it pass. "Of course Sookie, I was planning on telling you as soon as I saw you. Everything has been a little crazy since we got back and there hasn't been any time. It's just I wanted to be the one to tell you." Lorelai looks very pointedly at her daughter.

"I'm so sorry Mom, it really just kind of slipped out. Sookie was here when Luke brought over the coffee and it made her kind of curious and she sort of figured it out."

Not really comfortable with the idea that Luke and Rory are collaborating in a sort of coalition against her, she wants to get back to this plan that Rory mentioned. "So what is this 'graduated withdrawal plan' you and Luke and, now, Sookie have devised for me? Let's hear it."

"This week you will receive grounds consisting of seven-eights real coffee and one-eight decaf. Each following week, the amount of real coffee will be reduced by one-eight and the decaf will be increased by one-eight. Until you reach full decaf in two months."

"Uh-huh, and why will I go along with this plan?"

"Because your other option is no coffee at all."

Lorelai's face takes on a defiant appearance. It turns out that she doesn't like ultimatums any better than Luke.

"Wow, you three just think that you have everything figured out, don't you. But you forgot something," Lorelai challenges, "I am an adult. I still have the right to make my own decisions. Now I agreed to limit my coffee consumption to two cups a day and I was living up to my agreement but forget that. If I want three cups of coffee, I will decide whether Iwill have that third cup."

Lorelai's eyes are blazing as she looks at Rory, "You are my daughter and I love you but until I am drooling in the nursing home, you are not in charge of me."

Now she turns her piercing gaze on Sookie, "You are my friend and if you want to stay my friend, then back off."

Lorelai with car keys in hand, pushes her way past Rory and heads out the door.

Rory is in shock for a moment. "Whoa," she thinks, "maybe I should have waited until after she had her coffee to mention the plan." Then another thought just hits her and she runs to the phone and dials a number very quickly.

"Luke, it's Rory. Mom is on her way to the diner. When she gets there, give her coffee, do you hear me, give her coffee. Do not argue with her or tease her or make any sort of comment about coffee if you value your life. Just remember if you want to win this war, you might have to concede a few battles."

Luke had answered the phone and heard Rory's message. "What the hell," he thought, 'I'm not giving her coffee so she can make an addict out of my kid!"

But then he had a second thought. He had asked Rory for advice and it sure as hell sounds like she just gave him some. Maybe he better take it.

Three minutes later, the door flies open and in walks Lorelai. The entire atmosphere of the diner suddenly becomrd charged with tension and every person in the place csn feel it.

Lorelai stands in front of the door and stares at Luke defiantly. Luke stares back with equal intensity. All of the customers of the diner seemed to be collectively holding their breathes in anticipation. No one knows exactly what is going on but they all know it is big.

Lorelai finally walks to the counter and stands directly in front of Luke. She says nothing, just stares directly into his eyes and he stares back. Both of them seem to be frozen in some sort of challenge in which neither is willing to yield and no one else in the room understands. This lasts for almost a minute.

Then Luke, without breaking eye contact, reaches under the counter and brings out a large to go cup already filled with coffee and sets it on the counter directly in front of Lorelai.

Lorelai, still without breaking eye contact, picks up the cup and takes a small sip. Satisfied that she has made her point, she then simply turns and walks out the door, cup in hand.

"Whoa," thinks Miss Patty, one of the diner's customers who had just witness the showdown, "what the heck is that about?"

Miss Patty has no idea what she just watched but she knows something important has just happened. Now all she has to do is figure out what it means.

Anna had just finished redressing April's burn. It is bad but not as bad as she had first feared.

April is grouchy today. She hadn't slept well last night because her arm bothered her. Plus the whole incident with the fire is kind of a kick in her ego. She doesn't want to have to admit that maybe Luke is right and she isn't old enough to cook French fries.

It hadn't been her fault. It was her mother's fault for calling her and keeping her on the phone.

April decides that she is mad at her mother for causing her to set fire to the kitchen and she is mad at Luke because he believes that she is too young to learn to cook. And she is kind mad at Lorelai too, though she isn't exactly sure why except April knows that Lorelai will agree with Luke about the cooking.

Plus she is mad because it's summer and she has a second degree burn on her arm and can't go swimming. All of her friends are at the pool right now having fun, especially Freddy, and she can't go. Life sucks and it's not her fault.

Anna senses April's mood. She wants to make her daughter feel better so she decides that now is the time to tell April about the opening at the Sally Ride Science Camp. She remembers how last fall, April went on and on about what a wonderful experience it would be and how she wants to go there more than anything in the world.

Well now she is going and Anna knows this will put a smile on April's face.

"April honey, I have some great news for you that will make you happy. Remember when you got that letter from the Sally Ride camp that said they were sorry but their session is full but they will put your name on a waiting list? Well, guess what? A space has become available and you are going to camp at Stanford University on July 9th. Isn't that wonderful?"

April stared at her mother as if she has turned into an alien monster. How could her mother enroll her in camp now? There is no way April is going to leave for ten days. Not now. It is bad enough that she can't go to the pool with her friends and Freddy but if she leaves town for ten whole days, he will forget about her all together.

(tbc)