Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Warner Brothers or Dorothy Parker Drank Here or anyone else attached in any way with Gilmore Girls.

Chapter 16 – Can They Put Humpty

Luke tries to keep his mind off of the fact that Christopher is a Lorelai's house. He trusts Lorelai but something about the look he saw in Christopher's eyes makes him uneasy. He doesn't trust Christopher and hates the idea that Christopher feels he can just drop by anytime to see her. He intends to discuss this with her.

He is also going to talk to Lorelai about Anna. Evidently the topic for tonight is going to the ex's.

For one thing, he is going knock that silly idea out of her head; Anna and him together, never! He did like Anna back in the day but now, he isn't really sure that he likes the person she has become. She seems so much more, well he hates to use the word, but yeah, bitchy than he ever remembers. She makes him feel uncomfortable and he always feels like she is just waiting for him to mess up

Thinking about Anna naturally leads him think of April. He hopes that April doesn't inherit her mother's hostile and argumentative nature. Of course, some people think he is hostile and argumentative, so poor April probably doesn't stand a chance if there is really anything to genetics.

He had called April earlier today to find out how she is feeling. He wanted to make sure that the burn isn't bothering her too much, but Anna wouldn't let him talk with her. According to Anna, April is being punished for her attitude and is grounded for 24 hours. She can't go out or even talk to anyone on the phone.

That had pissed him off. Sure, he agrees that sometimes kids need punishment but not even allowing April to talk with her father is wrong. He supposes that he is going to have to have another talk with Anna but maybe he will run it by Lorelai first. She might have a different perspective.

"Wow," he thinks, "I have changed. A month ago, I would have dead set against asking Lorelai's opinion. I was so sure that I could handle this parenting thing without her. Why was I so stubborn? I can't even remember now."

Lorelai's influence on April will be a good thing he thinks, as long as April doesn't pick up her insane eating habits. Maybe Lorelai's natural optimism can offset his pessimism and Anna's bitchiness.

He should probably cut Anna some slack. Even if she isn't the woman he would have picked to be the mother of his first child she had raised a wonderful daughter. To him, April seems kind of perfect.

Now his thoughts naturally progressed to the child that Lorelai is carrying. Will she be more like Rory or April or someone totally different? For some reason he always thinks of the baby as a girl even though he would sort of like a boy. Heck, he will be happy with either or maybe down the road, both.

Lorelai's child, his and Lorelai's child, it gives him a thrill every time he thinks of the baby. This child is lucky because it has Lorelai as its mother. He can't help but smile.

Suddenly Lane is snapping her fingers in his face. He had let himself daydream when he should be cooking and she is trying to bring him back to reality. He apologizes to her and starts concentrating on his job.

When Lorelai closes the door, she turns and gives Christopher her poker face.

"So, the diner man is back." says Christopher with a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

"Luke and I are working on our relationship, yes."

"Didn't expect that, not after how he treated you. You deserve better."

Christopher's self-righteous attitude towards Luke annoys her. The last person on earth who should condemn anything about Luke is Christopher.

Lorelai carries her food and coffee back into the living, sits it on the coffee table, and waits until Chris sits down again before she sits. She really wants to eat the food but it would be rude to do so in front of him. Suddenly her stomach grows really loud.

Chris hears her stomach and laughs while pointing to the sack of food, "You aren't really going to eat that junk, are you? Come on, Lore, you're hungry. Let me take you out for some real food."

"Okay, now he's pissing me off and making snide remarks about my favorite food. Christopher, you have no idea how dangerous it is to keep me away from food right now." she thinks to herself while using all of her self control to resist tearing into the burger.

Instead, Lorelai looks intensely at Christopher as she asks, "So Chris, why are you here?"

"I told you, I came to visit the Gilmore girls."

"Uh-huh, except you aren't really the 'just popped in for a visit' type of guy. Is there something going on? Is GiGi okay?"

"Lore, what's with the inquisition? I just miss you guys."

Suddenly, her radar senses that Christopher has been drinking before he arrived. That sets off warning indicators for Lorelai. Alcohol makes Christopher act stupid.

"You just saw us. In fact, in the last month you saw us more than you had in the last ten years. I figured you would be tired of us by now."

"I just wanted to see how my girls are doing. I got use to seeing you every week up in Pennsylvania. Don't you miss me?"

In a placating tone, she responds, "Chris, it's always good to see you but this feels a little weird to me."

"Lore, I care about you. You are my family."

"Chris, I am your friend, Rory is your family."

"You and Rory are both my family."

"No, I'm not. Please Chris, you have been really terrific and I do appreciate all that you did for me. You were a real friend when I really needed one."

"Yes I was. You came to me when that jerk abandoned you. I was the one you needed. That means something, I know that it means something."

Sweetly she responds, "It means that I trust you to be my friend and not to take advantage of me when I'm vulnerable. And you did that, you get the gold star for dependability." Then Lorelai's voice gets a little more forceful, "Don't deceive yourself that it was anything other than that."

Christopher gets up off the sofa and begins pacing around the room. "Oh come on Lore, it means more than that. Don't you try to deceive yourself, when you felt that you had nothing left you came to me."

Chris moves to a position that has him standing immediately in front of her. His stance looms somewhat ominously above her and she feels nervous though she tries to ignore the feeling. "This is Christopher," she tells herself, "he won't hurt you. If he wanted to ravish you he had plenty of opportunity that night. Stop it. You're just being a hormonal, crazy pregnant lady."

Lorelai reaches out to pick up her cup off of the coffee table and stands up to take a drink. The move forced Christopher to back up a couple of steps which allow Lorelai to relax.

"You're right. I did feel that I had nothing left. I had just screwed up the best relationship of my life and walked away from the only man that I truly love. I felt completely worthless. You are the one person that I know who can relate to that feeling."

Christopher, totally ignoring her obvious slight, moves closer into her personal space, "You came to me because we have this connection. We always take care of and support each other."

Lorelai neatly twists away as she sits her coffee cup back on the table. "Yes, we do have a connection, but don't delude yourself that you have been around to support me. You were MIA for most of Rory's life."

Christopher reaches over and grabs both of her hands before saying, "I know that I screwed up but I have turned my life around. I have proven that I can be what you need."

Then he pulls her close as he wraps his arms around her. Though Lorelai's puts both of her hands on his chest as she tries to push him back Christopher still manages to pull her to him for a kiss. Lorelai is mumbling for him to stop as his tongue tries to enter her mouth.

"Lore, we're meant to be together. We were always meant to be together."

Panicking, Lorelei's resistance increases. She pushes harder with her hands while digging her nails into his chest as she twists and turns trying to break free. Finally, in desperation, Lorelai lifts a bended right leg and strategically knees Christopher.

In physical pain, Christopher releases her and falls to the sofa moaning.

Lorelai, still standing, looms over him. "Honey, as your friend, I commend you for finally taking responsibility for your life and for parenting GiGi, but don't think for a single moment that in any way that makes up for how you treated Rory."

"As for you and me, it's never going to happen. We were kids when we were together, too young to know or understand love. We were stupid, unhappy kids looking for a connection to someone to make our lives bearable. All we really had in common were equally screwed up families. If Rory hadn't come along, we would have parted ways a long time ago"

"I'm not trying to hurt you Chris but you have got to face reality. I don't love you. There is absolutely no future for us. I love Luke, the romantic, 'till death do us part' kind of love. You and I never had that kind of love."

Anna can't believe that April is refusing to go to camp. Of all the problems she anticipated, that one never made the list. April had begged her relentlessly for months back in the fall to go to this camp. Why the sudden change of heart?

Well, Anna had told April in no uncertain terms that she is going to go to this camp. The money has been sent and the arrangements are made.

Then April had become so belligerent and nasty. They had gotten into a horrible argument which ended with April threatening to call Luke.

That had done it for Anna. She had grounded April from the computer, her friends and most of all, the phone for the next 24 hours.

Not ten minutes after April stormed off to her room, Luke had called to talk with April.

Chris has his head in his hands and is staring down at the floor. He looks sad and pathetic and Lorelai's feels bad for him. For all his short comings, she will always have a warm spot in her heart for Christopher.

Lorelai is a nurturer by nature. She wants to comfort him but won't let herself because she fears that he will misinterpret her sentiment for something that it is not. Chris has got to understand that there will never be a "Lorelai & Christopher 4ever".

All of this drama with Christopher is upsetting her and once again her nausea has returned, probably because she is hungry. She gets up and goes to the kitchen to get a glass of tomato juice (Luke had conveniently left a pitcher in the frig). She hears Christopher follow her.

"Lore, I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I didn't plan to do that. I really just wanted to come and see you and make sure that you are alright. I guess when I saw him at the door, it just sort of set me off."

"Chris, don't pretend that this has anything to do with Luke. This is between you and me. Even if Luke wasn't in the picture, there would not be a you and me. You don't love me Chris, not that way. You're lonely and I'm a known quantity. What your feeling for me isn't love, believe me, it's more like I'm your security blanket."

"Wait Lorelai don't pretend you know what I feel. Maybe you don't love me, but don't try to devalue my feelings for you. I do love you."

"Chris, you don't even know me. To you I am still the wild 16 year old in the Pinky Tuscadero tee shirt who is trying to convince you that Metallica rules. Hun, I have not been that girl for over twenty years."

In an attempt to finally get Christopher to see clearly, Lorelai continues, "After Rory was born I took one path and you chose another. I came to Stars Hollow where I found friends and built a weird extended family of sorts. I made a home, something I never really had before and I grew up. "

"I don't stay in Stars Hollow because of Luke and I don't love Luke because he is part of Stars Hollow. I stay in the Hollow because it is my home and I love Luke for so many reasons. He is the first man to actually know me, the real me and he still loves me. He is the kindest, most compassionate, smartest, sexiest, honest, patient, understanding, reliable, giving, trustworthy, funny, strongest...", Lorelai stops to take a breath before continuing.

Christopher takes the opportunity to stop her. "I get it, Luke is the perfect man."

Lorelai, looking at him sincerely she replies, "He is for me. We are two halves that fit perfectly together and make a whole."

"So, if he's so perfect, why the big break-up?"

"Oh Chris, that's so complicated. It never had anything to do with how much we care about each other. At our ages, we both come equipped with a full set of baggage. Our problems stem from both of us having trouble learning to balance the responsibilities and obligations in our lives along with a full set of insecurities and doubts. If I can't make it work with Luke then I can't make it work with anyone."

"So I guess that means I should butt out of the Gilmores' life."

"I'm not saying that Chris, Rory is still your daughter. I'm saying it's time you quit using me as the conduit to connect with your daughter. You need build your relationship with Rory completely separate from me. You and I will still see each other because we are still Rory's parents and I'm always here if you need a friend but we aren't going to hang out together. That wouldn't be fair to Luke and his feelings are important to me." Then Lorelai smiles capriciously, "In case you didn't realize it, he's not terribly fond of you."

Chris smiles weekly, "Yeah, I kind of gathered that we won't be hanging together for beers." Then he takes on a more indignant posture, "You aren't being very fair, Lorelai. I have worked hard to prove that I can be a father to Rory. I have a good relationship with her now. She knows that she can depend on me. I'm paying for Yale."

"Christopher, your relationship with Rory is more like a distant uncle than her father."

"Well, she's 21, she doesn't need much fathering now."

"Chris, don't be a dope. No one ever outgrows their need for their father's approval. Show Rory how proud you are by actually spending time with her. I never thought that I would say this, but take a play out of the Emily and Richard playbook and set up regular visits with Rory. I'm not saying you should plan a regular Friday night dinner obligation but maybe a regular bi-monthly or even monthly get together."

"Have her over for dinner with just you and GiGi. It doesn't matter if you can cook, order pizza. Just spend time together and talk. Tell her about your job. She once asked me what you do and I had no idea other than it's with software. Don't you think it's sad that your daughter doesn't even know what you do?"

"You should make the effort to actually get to know your daughter finally. I think you will find that she is a multi-faceted and intriguing person. It's time for you to take the initiative in your relationship with Rory. Quit waiting for her to call you."

Luke closes up early. He is anxious to get to Lorelai's. It isn't quite 8:30 when he knocks on the door but she doesn't answer. All of the lights are on downstairs and he can hear the TV, so he knocks louder but still no answer.

He tries the door but it's locked. For the first time since their breakup, Luke pulls out his key and uses it. He walks in anxiously calling out Lorelai's name but no response. As he walks around this seemingly empty house, his heart leaps with a sudden feeling of deja vu. No Lorelai.

When he walks into the living he sees her body sprawled on the sofa. Suddenly he is terrified beyond comprehension. He runs to her side, kneeling on the floor as he pulls her body into his arms. Calling to her in frighten voice, "Lorelai, Lorelai, oh God, Lorelai! Please wake up!"

She stirs and opens her eyes. A confused look spreads across her face and as her eyes focus on him, she questions "Luke? "

He pulls her close to him in a relieved and soothing embrace. "Oh thank God, I thought something happened to you." Luke holds her like he never wants to let her go.

Lorelai had been totally exhausted by the time Christopher left. Their talk had emotionally drained her and she had collapsed on the sofa into one of those really deep sleeps. Now she is having trouble arousing fully from its clutches. Some parts of her brain are lagging behind and not in sync.

"It's Luke" her mind processes, "and he just woke me from a really good sleep." Next her mind registers that he is hugging her really tight in an almost panicky embrace. "Why?" she wonders momentarily but with no ideas really creeping through the mist she lets the question fade and just enjoys the moment.

Slowing various perceptions are beginning to seep through; she's not in her room but in the living room, she's not in bed but on the sofa. Now her brain begins to form coherent questions. Is it day or night? Why is she on the sofa? What's wrong with Luke and why is he acting this way?

When Luke couldn't find Lorelai he had flashed back to that day right before she left; when she had been avoiding him. He hadn't understood what was going on then. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn't see the pain that she was in. Then she had left him. He couldn't go through that again; he wouldn't go through that again.

Luke began to relax his hold and asked, "Lorelai, you okay? You didn't answer when I called and I got scarred."

"Luke, I'm fine. I was asleep, sound asleep and you woke me."

"I'm sorry. I just..I'm sorry. Are you sure you're okay?" Luke released his hug and moved his hands to her shoulder as he pulled back to examine her face."

"Yes, I'm fine. A little confused but fine."

Relieved but still in a high state of anxiety, Luke pulled her back in for another impassioned embrace, "Oh God Lorelai, don't do that to me again. I was so afraid that you left me. Please, don't ever leave me again."

Confused and still not totally alert Lorelai responds warmly to his embrace while saying, "It's okay Luke, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Still kneeling next to the sofa, Luke pulls back from Lorelai and gazes into her eyes, "Lorelai, marry me."

"What?"

"I said, I want you to marry me. Marry me now, tomorrow, next week, whenever but marry me."

Dazed and shocked by his question, Lorelai's eyes are darting around the room looking for something to make sense of what is going on. Finally she looks at Luke with pain in her face as she tells him, "No, you said you didn't want to get married. You needed time and space."

"I never said that I didn't want to marry you. I have always been sure that I wanted to marry you. I never had any doubts about that."

Highly agitated, Lorelai pushes him back as she gets up and paces around the room. "I told you that I wanted to elope and you said no."

Luke gets up and puts his hands on her arms to stop her pacing. Looking directly at her, he responds, "I never said no. I was stupid and it was all happening so fast. I screwed up. You know I don't deal well with situations like that. I needed time, time to catch up, time to stop being so stupid but I never said no."

Lorelei looks down at her shoes saying, "No, you don't want to be married. You have April and Anna to think about."

Luke tries to make eye contact with Lorelai but is only half successful before he tells her, "I am, I mean I have. No what I mean is April likes you, she's fine with having you as a step-mother. So if there are issues that come up, and there probably will be, then we will just have to work through together, you and me and April. Anna has nothing to do with this."

"She's the mother of you daughter."

"Yes, and Christopher is the father of yours. Neither one of them has bearing on the fact that we love each other and belong together. I will always have to deal with Anna because of April as you will have to see Christopher but neither as anything to do with us being married."

"But you need time."

"No I don't. You gave me time and it allowed me to be stupid. I've already been stupid, I don't need more time. But maybe you do?"

Luke wraps his arm around her and steers to back to sit on the sofa. He kneels in front of her. "I think you need time to regain the trust that my stupidity wrecked. So you've got it. As much time as you need."

Luke takes the chain from around his neck and removes Lorelai's engagement ring he had been wearing since she returned to town. He takes and slips it on her third finger of her left hand. "You can think of this as an engagement ring or as a promise ring, because with this ring I promise that I will never leave or make you doubt how I feel about you again."

Lorelai stares at the ring as she says, "But what if I can never get past this feeling?"

"Then I'll be Kurt Russell and you'll be Goldie Hawn and we'll live together for the rest of our lives."

Lorelai raises her head to question Luke, "We'll live together?"

"Did I fail to mention that I am moving in here tonight?"

"You want to move in here with me? Why?" This is happening so fast for Lorelai. She always wanted him to officially move in but he wouldn't. He always had excuses not to do it. "What if you have early deliveries?"

"Then I have to get up 5 minutes early."

"What if I start to get a sore throat?"

"Then I put the kettle on and make you tea with honey and lemon."

Luke knew what she was doing. She was remembering a time when he tried to pretend that he was living with Nicole. He knew he wasn't, Nicole knew he wasn't, and most of all Lorelai knew. He is not going to pretend this time.

"But I won't put the milk back in the same place. That will annoy you."

"As long as you put the milk in back in the frig, I'll deal. Now if you leave it out all day, we will have words.'

"But you're the loner guy, you don't like having someone expect you to come home."

"Maybe I use to be but not now. I love knowing that you are waiting for me. Besides with your crazy hours at the Inn, I'll be the one waiting half of the time."

"You're just doing this because of the baby."

"No, the baby won't be born for months. I am doing this because I want to be with you. It's stupid that we are apart. If I hadn't screwed it up we would have been married on June 3rd and happily living together. Instead, I was stupid and lost you. I spent June 3rd above the diner in that empty apartment without you drinking myself into oblivion because I wasn't getting married to my best friend and the love of my life. I won't do that again."

"So you really want to live her with me?"

"Yes, more than anything."

Lorelai is waging a war with herself. She wants Luke to move in, she wants to get married but something is stopping her from believing it will ever happen. Something always goes wrong.

Finally, her heart wins over her head and she looks at Luke. "Okay, when can you move in?"

"You want to come with me to pack now?" Luke asks with a snicker.

Lorelai leans into towards Luke to kiss. She teases, "I said you could move in, I said nothing about packing."

Luke responds with a more passionate kiss to indicate that he has other ideas than packing at the moment. He pushes her down on the sofa and begins to kiss her neck. She giggles because his beard is tickling her.

Just then, the phone rings. Lorelai looks at Luke and laughs, "Just let the machine get it." Luke agrees and returns his attention to her neck.

On the forth ring, the machine picks up. The volume was high on the machine, so they both heard the familiar voice say, "Lorelai, it's your mother."

(tbc)