Chapter 8 - It was them

He'd never felt so good traveling.

In his travels with Shadow, he always carried a concern in his head, or a crazy task to fulfill. He didn't have time to enjoy the fresh water of a river, or the smell of the forest after the rain. It was as if every minute slipped through his fingers, like a hurried, arrhythmic melody.

Now it was different. In the mornings he was in charge of waking up the group. He had something ready to eat before the rest opened their eyes, and it used to happen that the smell of breakfast was more than enough to get his companions going. Zelda insisted that he not keep watch all night, or that they take turns keeping watch. In truth, the journey was more than safe. He hadn't found a single enemy, either on the road or in the woods. That made him begin to relax, why not? He went to sleep a little later than the others, and awoke early, but those hours of sleep filled him with vitality. He'd also returned to other pleasures. In the swamp region there were many streams and pools of cold, clear waters. In the evenings he would go fishing with Symin, and they would dine on freshly grilled fish. He'd become accustomed to the presence of the others. It was almost like having a family. He'd like the trip to be longer.

They'd already crossed the northeast deviation, and it hadn't rained for a single day. He knew the weather would get worse as they approached the Zora Domain. It was the rainiest region in all Hyrule. Zelda had an argument with Purah upon arriving there. The little sheikah insisted on taking advantage of the trip to visit King Dorephan, they were at the very gates of the Domain, a quick diplomatic visit wasn't going to delay them too much, and anyway, Robbie could wait a little longer. Zelda flatly refused, he didn't quite understand her reasons, although he couldn't hear them all either, since the princess ended up arguing privately with Purah. After a heated exchange of words that he and Symin observed from a distance, they decided to continue to Eldin and Akalla. But Zelda changed her mood and when they arrived at the stables of south Akalla, she was absent again and didn't open her mouth to pronounce a word.

That night they were the only travelers in the inn. Autumn had turned cold, and there were far fewer people transiting the region.

"Link, you're back!" Little Gleesa exclaimed, "will you help me catch more dragonflies?"

"What happened to the last ones I gave you?"

"Huh. They got lost. Jana forced me to let them go, they disgust her so much, you know?"

For a while he helped little Gleesa catch insects with a butterfly catcher, and left Shadow and the rest of the animals in Teeren's hands. The three sisters who ran the inn were good friends of his. He had stopped there several times, when travellingf to the Death Mountain.

"There's a shrine up there," said a voice behind his back. He turned and saw Zelda was hooded, with a steaming tea in her hands.

"Right. Do you want to make a visit?"

It was almost dark, but a huge full moon made the paths and grass gleam as if they were made of silver.

"Nope. Shrines are the hero of Hyrule's thing. That's why I could never see or access them."

"I could show you."

"But you're busy catching bugs, aren't you? You don't want to disappoint your friend," Zelda teased, winking at them, "I'd better go and check on dinner."

As he watched her walk away, he felt the same sense of emptiness that oppressed him, because she was still a mystery, because he wanted to know everything about her, and because he sometimes wished that she could forget him too, just as he had forgotten her. Then they would be equals; two lonely people reborn in a new world.

"Your friend is pretty," Gleesa observed.

"True."

"Is she your lady?"

"I'm afraid she's not."

"Link... someday I will grow older, like Jana and Teeren. When I'm older, if you don't have a wife yet, I could be your lady. We could go together to hunt dragonflies, fireflies and other forest bugs."

"And rhino-beetles, perhaps?"

"Yes! What do you say?"

"Uhm, let's see," he said, clutching his chin thoughtfully, "I think it would be an honor for me if you were my lady."

"Awesome!" Gleesa celebrated, "but only if the green-eyed girl doesn't choose you first, okay?"

"I don't think she will choose me," he said, and instinctively turned his head to the group. Zelda's eyes always had a kind of golden glow when the fire was reflected in them.

"She likes you." Gleesa laughed at him, "I'm so hungry… Are we going to dinner?"

"Yes, come on."

He was a little stunned, and it took a tug on his arm from Gleesa to bring him back to reality. It was just little girl nonsense - how could Zelda like him? And if she did..., would she like him or would she like that part of him that he himself had forgotten?

At dinner he felt a little less cheerful than he had the last few nights. Zelda and Purah were still sulking and that made the conversations flow a lot less. Symin wasn't much of a talker, and neither was he. Since they were a small group, the innkeeper and his family had joined them for dinner, and that saved the situation somewhat.

He glanced at Zelda from time to time, when he knew she wouldn't notice, and when he was sure no one else noticed. Memories weighed on the princess that night, he could see it in the twinkle in her eyes, in the all-too-right way she refused food, or in her dull smiles, far from the bright laughter of the last few days. He thought, maybe... yes. He thought he was beginning to feel something for her. He wasn't sure what, if it was some sort of primal protective instinct, an instinct inherited from his days as a knight. Maybe they were memories that survived somewhere and even if he couldn't see them, it was still there. Maybe the Triforce had acted upon them on the day of the battle, and there was an invisible bond. It could be all those things at once or none of them, he was confused. But it was certain that he reacted to her closeness, that he felt warmth when she sought him out for whatever it was, and a kind of discomfort when she purposely distanced herself from him. He'd known other girls and it wasn't the same. What he felt with her wasn't even close to what he felt with Nitia's kiss at the lover's pond, so this feeling wasn't a kind of crush. There was something else. If only he could remember something of his past...

That night, after a few nights, they would enjoy the comforts of sleeping under a warm roof, without stones, roots, or moisture. Occasionally it was appreciated, though it was no problem for him to sleep outdoors or in the tents. As soon as he hit the bed he collapsed in exhaustion, but he woke up in the early hours of the morning, it would have been a couple of hours since they had gone to bed. He urgently needed to pee, goddesses, too much cranberry juice at dinner. He pulled on his boots and went outside; he didn't want to wake anyone. The air outside was freezing, almost like the middle of winter, and he took his time getting back to bed as soon as possible. When he returned, he saw that Zelda's bed was empty. It had become a reflex to always look where she was. There were no curtains of any kind, each bunk was in full view of the other travellers. Everyone was in their beds except her. He went over to get a better look and saw that her sheets were disheveled. He reached down and felt the cold mattress, she must have been up for a while.

He wrapped up warm and grabbed a lantern. Where on earth had she gone? He sniffed around for a while until he discovered a small trail. The ground around the inn was covered with a blanket of dry leaves, fallen from the deciduous trees around it, and this helped him to distinguish her footsteps in the darkness. There was a crossroads at the entrance to the stables, and the footsteps were heading in that direction. "I just hope you haven't gone too far," he thought, as he opted to take one of the possible paths. He walked a little way along the path, it was the same one they would have to take the next day, and luckily he saw that the footprints turned uphill. He didn't need the lantern, the long grass glowed in the full moon, and he could see the footsteps making their way like a dark furrow.

He found Zelda sitting at the top of the hill, looking out over the vast gully that opened up before them. He sighed with relief and crept closer, though she straightened at the sound of his footsteps on the grass.

"What are you doing here, Link?" She asked, without turning.

"You were not in your bed and... I guess..."

"Hey, don't make that worrying face, I'm good. I couldn't sleep and I wanted to be alone."

He bit his lip and stood there, hesitating.

"Got it. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay, that's all."

"Are you sleepy?"

"Not much."

"Then stay with me, please."

He pushed the lantern aside and sat down beside her. The wind at the top of the hill was even colder, if that was possible; Zelda's cheeks were burning with cold. And from tears, he thought, but there wasn't enough light to be sure of that. He took off his cloak and held it out to her, she had come up there much more unsheltered than he had.

"What about you? Aren't you cold?"

"I'm fine like this," he said, shrugging.

"Then come to me and we'll share your cloak."

"But..."

"Come on, don't be so shy, it's just a cloak so you don't freeze to death," she teased.

He stepped closer and let her drape the cloak over them both. As she did so, he felt as if a cloud of warmth enveloped him. For a while he stared at the horizon, just as she did, looking absorbed and thoughtful. Surely, she wasn't thinking about all the absurdities he was thinking about at the moment, like how nice it is her contact. Better to open his mouth to say something, even if it was stupid.

"Look over there, that's the Twilight Forest. Our route goes through it," he said.

"There is a special place nearby, a place you and I visited a hundred years ago. We can't see it from here, it's beyond that forest, in a hollow. Do you know it? A hollow with a great fountain in it, and a statue of the Goddess."

"I don't know the place, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"But you can tell me about it, if you want," he hastened to say. Zelda took her time but decided not to dodge the topic for once.

"A long time ago, I didn't know how to use the Sacred Power. Actually, I didn't even know if I could use that power at all. Inside me there was just a void, a huge, conventional void. It was conventional because there was nothing in me that would differentiate me from any other hylian. I had no special dreams like my ancestors, nor did I notice any kind of energy inside me. And praying before the Goddess in the sacred springs was the only option, it seemed like that was the only thing that could be done to awaken my powers and avoid a catastrophe. That's what all of them told me, especially Father, but I was never sure about it," she admitted bitterly. "It wasn't working, and there was a part of me that knew it was never going to work, a part that I always tried to silence. My faith was not strong, not as you would expect from someone like me."

"Forcing yourself to believe in something you don't believe in is not easy, no matter how hard you try," he said.

"It's not just that. I thought that... I came to believe that I wasn't the right person, and that made me even weaker... and worse person, because I envied others who had gone further than me."

"I understand that they are bitter memories, but in the end the Triforce came to you, and huh, look at us now."

Zelda drew a sad, but genuine smile.

"I'm not the same person I was then, Link. I see myself at the Spring of Power, waist-deep in cold water, begging. I tried everything. So much has happened since then... I don't recognise myself."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I'm still what is expected of me."

"Nothing is expected of you, believe me. You've done so much more than anyone could ever expect," he tried to be convincing, but Zelda sighed and said nothing. "You know, I wish I could remember you and tell you now that nothing more is expected of you, and you'd really believe me."

"I really believe you."

Zelda spoke sincerely, he was sure. He was beginning to understand when she was dodging an issue and when she was showing herself as she really was, without any kind of mask or shield to protect herself from others.

"You can trust me, always."

"I know. I trust you, Link."

"Good."

"Good," she repeated, smiling at him in a different way than before. He blushed awkwardly and she was going to notice it. They were so close that she'd notice his absurd weakness.

"So, let's just think about tomorrow's route, okay?" he said, forcing himself to look again at the distant forest.

"Alright."

He'd agreed with Zelda that they would not tell the sheikah about their nightly conversations. Those things were just the two of them, and Zelda wanted to keep Purah from worrying about her more than necessary. Link felt ridiculously special, having secrets with her somehow made him feel closer.

Zelda had also confessed to him why she had argued with Purah. It was none other than Purah's insistence on visiting Dorephan before Zelda was ready, Zelda had only asked for that: time. Time to be ready to face very painful memories, of friends who had meant everything to her and for whom she could do nothing. Link didn't tell her about the spirits of the Champions, or his memories of them. Nor of the "new oath" he had sworn to them and her father. If Zelda needed time, he thought it would be better to talk about that, too, as she got over all those unresolved issues in her heart.

The trip through the Twilight Forest went quite well, and the sun continued to accompany the group, so at the end of the day they managed to reach the Eastern Stables in Akalla.

"There is smoke in the lighthouse's chimneys!" Purah exclaimed, "we are already at Robbie's house!"

"Aren't we going to stay at the inn?" He asked. At the inn there was a guy in a soldier's uniform, and he was curious to talk to him. Most likely that man would have bought the equipment at any bazaar, maybe a merchant sold him the tunic with the Hyrule's royal guard emblem and that was all. But still... anyone with even a modicum of training was an interesting person to Link.

"We are very close to the lighthouse, it's preferable to get to Robbie's house," said Purah, "we'll leave the horses at the stables, of course. There they will be better there."

Link shrugged; he would have time later to talk to the soldier. They climbed the hill after dark.

Robbie was a weird guy. The weirdest of the sheikah. He had managed to make those wonderful ancient arrows for him, which he kept in his quiver like gems. Robbie was a genius, but he was also a very quirky guy.

Robbie was married to a woman much younger than himself, a woman Link found nice and attractive, but Robbie had devoted much of his affections to a robot helper he'd made for himself, which had been the cause of several crises in this marriage. Still, Robbie insisted on giving Link "love advice" whenever he came across him. On his last visit to Akalla, Link arrived at the lighthouse with a sack full of rubies to pay for a shield and a handful of arrows without Robbie asking him any questions about women. Link really wished to be mute at that moment or wished he could pay someone to do the transactions with Robbie for him. Link was afraid to see what the sheikah's reaction would be to know that Zelda was living in his house. Things were starting to be good with her, and he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable by the ridiculous insinuations of an old lunatic.

"You look nervous," Zelda whispered, behind his shoulder.

"I'm not. Why do you think that?"

"I don't know, it's just a feeling," she smirked, "you walk around clenching your fists and if you keep on clenching, you're going to hurt yourself."

"I'm not nervous," he reiterated, "just tired of the trip."

"Robbie was a handsome sheikah. He had a shiny hair, and a lot of young girls wanted to study with him," Zelda said, "I imagine he'll be very changed."

"I guess so."

Now Robbie was a crazy old man and there's nothing attractive left in him, Link thought.

Despite all his fears, the night went much better than Link had thought. Robbie practically went crazy when he saw Purah and Zelda again, and Link took a discreet and satisfying back seat.

Apparently, Robbie had removed all communication capabilities from his beloved robot, and this had greatly improved his relationship with his wife Zheline. Over dinner, he questioned Purah about her "backtracking" experiment and Zelda about the Calamity and the behaviour of the guardians and the energetic cessation of the Divine Beasts. After dinner, Robbie and his wife settled a bed to host everyone. Link chose to sleep on the top of the lighthouse. It was the coldest room, but Link preferred it, he felt freer there, more at ease. Zelda and Purah would sleep together in the room that had belonged to Robbie's son, and Symin settled for a bed in the library.

Through a small window, Link could see the glow of the Death Mountain. Its heart of lava and molten rock was near, and he thought how nice it might be to visit the goron. He would propose to Zelda that Goron City be at the top of her list of obligations. The goron were peaceful and friendly. They had nothing to do with the hateful advisors of King Dorephan of the zora, or the quirks of the gerudo women. Nor was it a good idea to travel to Lake Totori in winter, so the warmth of Death Mountain sounded like a good start. Goron City would further strengthen his friendship with Zelda. He would show her the hot springs, the emerald mine. He would tell her that emeralds are the only colour in all of Hyrule that comes even close to her eyes. He would take her through the goron gorge to Vah Rudania. It was rare to look at the stars with the glow of the great cauldron of fire shining in the middle of the night. From there she could draw incredible maps of the sky, for as long as she wanted. And he would take care of everything, of her safety, of her stay so that she'd feel comfortable. He'd ensure that she wouldn't be afraid of anything. It was so nice to feel that he had her trust... that's exactly how a knight of Hyrule should feel.

He was absorbed in his fantasies, making plans for the journey ahead, when a murmur caught his attention. His room had a door leading to an outdoor terrace, Robbie also had one of those telescopes and it was accessed from there, by a small wooden walkway. Link crept out and climbed over the edge of the terrace. Down below were Purah and Robbie. They had lit a small fire outside the lighthouse and were sitting and talking. It wasn't right, but... Link decided to crouch down and peek them.

"Alright, I repeat it to you," Purah said in that shrill childish voice, "I repeated the tests several times. She's perfect. And every day her health improves. And as long as she lives with Link, she won't be short of good food, believe me..."

"About that... was it your sister's decision to make her live with him?"

"I think it was their decision. For once, Impa has had nothing to do with this."

"But he doesn't remember anything at all. I'm one hundred percent sure of that," Robbie was smoking a sort of long pipe, and Link could see a thin column of smoke coming out of the pipe and out of his mouth when he spoke.

"I agree. But he seems intent on regaining his role as a knight. Impa already mentioned some of this in her letter, and something about a new oath that I didn't quite understand. The point is... what's the matter? It's good for the princess to have him around, no matter how much she denies it."

"The princess has said nothing to him."

"Nothing."

"Do you think it's the right thing to do?"

"It's her decision. We shouldn't meddle."

"We have to meddle if it's about the Triforce," Robbie said, expelling another puff of smoke.

Link didn't understand anything, what did Zelda have to tell him? What the hell did the Triforce have to do with that? The sheikah didn't know Zelda well. She trusted him with her secrets, not them. They even had a pact. She didn't make pacts with the sheikah, she made pacts with him.

"She still trembles with the memories of that day. A hundred years, and she still shudders as she walks through the walls of Hateno," Purah said, "I've seen it with my own eyes."

"We should talk to Impa. Have her send her guards and have them dismantle that cemetery of guardians. I can make weapons and equipment out of all that junk."

"Link told me that he found the valuables, and there is nothing left there that can be used."

"Does he know anything about that place?"

"He suspects that something happened there. He always has an eye on the princess, he is forgetful, but not stupid."

Link was climbing so far over the edge of the balcony that he was almost halfway out. Still, the conversation was worth the risk.

"Heck, when we found him, he looked dead. Dead. If it wasn't for the princess being so insistent that we take him to the Shrine of Life... I don't know, I think I'd have left him for dead myself and that would have been the end of it."

"When we found them, I also thought that she was out of her mind because of what had happened. I thought she was beside herself and clinging to some kind of desperate desire."

"Purah, have you told Link that we were the ones who took him to the Shrine of Life?"

"It's not up to us. The princess will speak when the time comes. Or it may never do so."

"I'm not convinced by this situation, nor by the mental health of the princess. She seems confused by it all."

"And who wouldn't be? I can't believe you've become such a curmudgeon old man."

"You're a real curmudgeon. Anyway, it's time for bed, if I don't go up to my bed now Zheline will come looking for me and drag me to the bedroom."

Link crouched low to avoid the sheikah seeing his head peeking over the edge of the telescope balcony. He waited motionless for them to leave, then returned to his room as stealthily as he had left.

Purah and Robbie. They saw it all, they were the ones who put him in the Shrine of Life. That clue to his past tasted horribly bittersweet. At last, he could ask the questions he wanted to ask, but why hadn't Zelda told him? Was it so hard for her to trust him?