Undying Love: Chapter 4
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - Smith Woods
Chapter 4: Learning to Love
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- 2 hours later -
Pan slammed the door to Marron's apartment as she ran inside, gasping for breath. Without bothering to take off her shoes or her jacket, Pan collapsed on the bed, closing her eyes out of sheer pain.
Two seconds later, Marron ran in after her. "Pan! What in the world-?"
But all she could see was the back of her frail-looking friend's head. "Pan," she said again, walking over to her side and tapping her arm gently. "What's wrong with you? Pan!"
She heard a muffled voice from under her pillow begging for some morphine. Marron understood immediately; this was not the first time she had seen Pan get like this. She just hoped she wouldn't get any worse.
Patiently, Marron brought her a glass of water and a handful of Morphine tablets, wincing as Pan gulped them down repeatedly. Morphine was a strong drug that Pan hardly ever used- unless it was absolutely necessary. It was a powerful antioxidant, one that most patients didn't have the right to. But for Pan, who had a gazillion tumors in her stomach, Morphine was perfectly legal since it helped relieve the pain fast.
Slowly, Pan's breathing became normal. But she remained facedown on the bed, as if too drained to even move.
"Is it getting any bett-" Marron stopped abruptly when she caught a glimpse of Pan's tear-streaked face.
"You're crying," she gasped softly. "What is it Pan? Tell me."
Pan refused to look up, and her weeping became more insistent by the minute. "It's him," she sobbed uncontrollably.
It was only then that Marron understood. Of course it was him. Who else could it be?
"It's Trunks isn't it," she said quietly.
Pan could only nod. "You don't know how it feels, Marron," she said, banging her fist angrily on the bed. "God damnit! I hate this! Why did it have to be me, of all people? All I ever wanted was to live a normal life!"
Marron felt a sudden pang of guilt. "You love him," she said. It was a statement, not a question. It was obvious how Pan felt; there was no need to ask.
Pan looked at her then, and Marron could see her bloodshot eyes. Her sobbing had ceased, but she was still shaking uncontrollably. "For the first time in my life, Marron, I've really cared about someone. But what the hell- what's the point when you know you can't have him?"
"Oh, Pan." Marron reached over to give her friend a hug. "I think you should tell him. Or maybe I should."
Pan stared at her. "Are you crazy? Why would I tell him? So both of us would be hurt? For God's sake it's bad enough that I have to suffer. I'd rather let him think that I find him to be the rude, obnoxious bastard I thought he was."
And without another word, Pan wiped her tears and walked off to her bedroom.
----
That night she dreamt of many things.
She was awake; or was she? She didn't know where she was. All time had stopped; she was alone with the Master.
"Ah," he said smiling at her serenely. "So you have returned, my dear. But your eyes are moist; what is it that you weep for?"
"Oh, Master," she said sighing. "'I've lost the one I loved."
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "No, little one, perhaps you have not lost him yet. Your love is stronger than any power in this world, my child. "
A flicker of hope filled her chest. "Then there is a possibility-"
He held up a hand. "Ah, my little one. Do not get so anxious. Remember, you do not need his love."
She wept. "Oh, but Master, I do!" She looked at him with hope shining in her eyes. "Will you bring him back to me?"
"Ah," he replied, "And what would you do if I brought him back to you? Would you love him more, perhaps?"
"Yes, yes!" she was eager. "More than anything in this world."
"Then you need not worry, child. You will have him. Someday, you will be his."
Her heart soared. "In this life?"
But that question he would not answer.
----
Pan awoke with a start, the vivid dream still fresh in her mind. The Master, his promise- it had all been so real. Reluctantly, she got up out of bed, realizing that she was still wearing her jeans from yesterday. She groaned as she remembered everything with a rush- meeting Trunks, falling for him, and losing him, perhaps all in one day. She knew what she had to do, though. Apologize. Before she did anthing else, she was going to call him and apologize.
"Marron," she said walking into the kitchen, "Would you give me Trunks's number? I …uh, need to tell him something important."
Marron raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Something along the lines of 'I love you'?"
Pan gave her a wary grin. "Don't tempt me," she muttered.
As she walked back to her room carrying a phone and a piece of paper with his number on it, she mildly wondered what she would say. Hi, remember me? I'm the bitch you met yesterday.
Shaking off her worries, she took a deep breath and dialed.
One…..Two……why wasn't he picking up?
"Hello?"
Her mind froze. Just hearing his voice sent shivers down her spine. Quickly, she shook her head and told herself not to be so stupid.
"Yeah, hi….this is Trunks, right?"
He paused. "Yes, this is. And you are?"
She cleared her throat. "I…uh, it's Pan. I met you yesterday at the Pier, remember?"
He was silent for a few minutes. Then he laughed. "Oh, yeah, I remember you. You're not someone I'd forget easily." She could hear the disdain in his voice. "So, what'd you call for?"
"Well," She fumbled for the right words and felt like kicking herself. "I just wanted to apologize. For, you know, being a total ass yesterday."
He laughed again. "What, are you serious?" When she remained silent, he continued, "Well, listen up, Pan. You don't need to apologize. "
She felt enormously relieved. "Oh, gee, thanks-"
"As a matter of fact," he said slowly, "I'd call it a truce if you'd go out for dinner with me tonight."
Her mouth hung open. "What? You have some nerve, Trunks Briefs-"
She could practically see him smirking. "I'll pick you up around seven. See you then."
And with that, she heard a soft click of the line going dead.
----
Pan, you fool, she cursed at herself silently, You've done it again. You've let your feelings get the better of you. Of course you could have called him back and said No, it wouldn't be possible to have dinner with him tonight, but you didn't. Because you didn't want to. You wanted to go so badly, you moron! And now what are you going to do? When you promised yourself that you would never see Trunks Briefs again, did you really mean it? Of course you didn't.
She sighed deeply. Marron poked her head into her room a few minutes later, noticing the pile of clothes sitting on Pan's bed.
"Mind if I ask where you're going?" Marron grinned; she had a feeling she knew already.
"Out," Pan muttered.
"With?" Marron prodded.
Pan rolled her eyes. "Who do you think? A jerk named Trunks."
Marron raised an eyebrow. "And I thought you would neversee him again.Whatever happened to 'let him think he's the obnoxious bastard'?"
"Marron!" Pan cried, throwing up her hands in exasperation. "I didn't want this date. I was trying so goddamn hard to turn him down, Marron, but I just couldn't."
Marron smiled. "It's all right, Pan. I'm actually glad you decided to go. And listen to me, Pan, you should tell him how you feel. Stop torturing yourself and pretending that you don't really love him," she had a faraway look in her eyes. "I should know. Hell, I've done it too many times."
Pan glanced at her sideways. "Oh really? And when did you do that, Marron?"
"Oh," Marron realized what she had just said and blushed, "It's a heck of a long story. Tell you later."
"All right," Pan agreed reluctantly. "But one of these days I'd love to hear your tragic love stories."
Marron gave a short laugh. "You know, Pan, " she began with a smile, "You just might change your mind about it afterwards."
---
Almost two hours later, the doorbell rang.
The door was opened by Marron, and she was not surprised when she saw who it was. But she was, however, filled with a strange feeling of regret. She wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all: Throughout the years she had always wanted Trunks to come to her house this formally; and here he was now, after all this time. But just to her luck, he hadn't come for her. He had come for Pan.
"Hello, Trunks," she said as casually as she could. "Pan's still getting ready. You want a cup of coffee or something?"
He shook his head, then grinned at her, showing his dimples. "I owe it all to you, Marron. You're really the greatest friend a guy could ask for."
She smirked. "Don't start jumping to conclusions, Trunks. You know why she's going out with you tonight."
He waved her comment away then leaned in close, as if he was telling her a big secret. "I swear to God I'm not going to let this chance slip up," he said triumphantly, then gave her a short glance. "You think this cologne smells all right? It's not too strong, is it?"
Marron laughed and gave him a quick hug. "You look fine, Trunks. And you smell great. Really," she added when he continued to look unconvinced, "If I were Pan, I'd fall head over heels for you."
Trunks smiled. "You're one in a million, Marron."
She had a feeling he would say something more, but at that moment Pan walked in, looking gorgeous in a simple black dress. Her hair was curled in soft ringlets which, Marron noticed proudly, complemented her small face greatly.
"Don't look so stunned, Mr. Briefs," Pan said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not used to men gawking at me like that," she said, and laughed out loud.
Trunks grinned. "Pan, you look amazing."
She shrugged. "Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself."
He offered her an arm. "So how about it, Pan? I say we start over again," It seemed as if Trunks just couldn't wipe the grin off his face that night. "No insults tonight, please."
And then, Pan surprised them all, including herself when she suddenly leaned in and kissed Trunks right then and there. Trunks seemed more than a little shocked at what had just happened, and tried to say something, but found that he had lost his voice.
Pan finally grinned, shaking her head as she tried to make sense of what on earth she had just done. Why did I do that? She wondered, but realized that she felt no regret. She looked up and found Marron smiling at her, giving her two thumbs up. Okay, she thought, staring at this lavender- haired man that had stolen her heart in a matter of minutes, You wanted me to express my feelings, right Marron? Well. Tonight, just for tonight, I'm going to live my life the way I want to. "Hell," she said softly, "You got that right."
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A/N: next chapter, Panny ends up in the hospital….and finds out something that may very well change her life. For better or for worse? Find out next chapter! ;)