Undying Love: Chapter 6
A/N: In answer to Nalurah's question, no, I do not have cancer and neither does a family member of mine. A friend of mine did a few years back and she passed away last summer. All this is explained in my profile. ;P
Chapter 6: Alone
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Marron's Apartment, 10 minutes later
She sat perched on the edge of an armchair, a cup of coffee in one hand and absently stroking Trunks's silky lavendar hair with the other. Both sat in silence; neither one knowing what to do next. Marron looked over at Trunks for a second- and wondered if he felt the same feeling of regret she did. But at the same time, Marron was happy, a lot happier than she had been in a long time.
Pan's voice had sounded terribly hurt on the phone, she remembered with a sudden jolt. As if she knew what had really happened last night.
What had really happened last night? She wondered silently. Had it all been an accident? If so, whose fault had it been? Was it simply because both had needed comfort? Or maybe it was destined to be this way after all.
Trunks finally broke the unbearable silence. "I'm sorry, Marron." He was shaking his head. "I don't know what the hell got into me. I shouldn't have- we shouldn't have-"
"I know how you feel," she said hoarsely, staring at him with those big blue eyes of hers. "Pan is the one you love, not me. I understand completely." She didn't, actually. What she wanted him to say was that she was wrong; he had never been in love with Pan, he was always secrectly in love with her.
But he didn't, of course. "Pan," he said softly, as if just saying her name made him feel better somehow. "She's so innocent, Marron. So pure. She's like a part of me," he said.
Tears spilled down her cheeks. "Then last night meant nothing to you, right? Then why did you do it, Trunks?" She wanted to run away, get the hell out of here somehow.
"Honestly, I don't know, Marron. Like I said, it wasn't meant to happen. But we both needed….to comfort each other after what happened to Pan." He looked at her in the eye. "Grief makes people do crazy things, Marron."
She was trying to choke back her sobs. "I've always loved you, Trunks." She paused to take in his stricken expression- it satisfied her somehow. "I know you probably think I'm cruel for saying this, because Pan is my best friend. But I'm only human, Trunks-and I have no regrets about last night." She caressed his hair. "Because it was meant to be."
He stood up. "No, it wasn't." He spoke firmly, and gently removed her head from his lap. "I'll apologize to you again, Marron, because it was partly my fault. But I want to make this clear, just so you don't get the wrong idea. You're a very good friend to me, Marron. Nothing more; nothing less. But Pan is the one I love- and I know I can trust you not to say anything about this to her. She'd die if she found out."
The thought lingered in Marron's head, even after Trunks had left.
She'd die if she found out.
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Alone.
So very much alone.
Pan stared out of the large glass windows of her hospital room. Trunks and Marron hadn't come.
She listened to the loud humming of the heater in her room. It was too quiet.
She picked up the remote and began flipping through channels in the tiny television, but her mind was someplace else.
Something terrible had happened last night. She could feel it in her bones. And she had an awful feeling that Trunks had something to do with it.
No, she thought. Marron wouldn't do that to me. Right?
Before she could think any further, someone tapped lightly on the door and Trunks came in. Wearing a light blue polo that matched the color of his eyes, he looked rather impressive. He flashed her a dazzling smile when she turned around to face him.
"I'm so sorry for not coming sooner," He began, "I completely lost track of time." He came closer and sat by her side. "How're you feeling now?"
How am I feeling? I feel like I'm going to lose it, Trunks. Because if, God forbid, you're not telling me something I'll never forgive you. Ever. She knew she should just let it go, but she couldn't.
"I'm doing great," She smiled at him warmly. "Where's Marron? She didn't come?"
"Oh, she should be here any minute. She was busy so I left before her," He took her hand in his. "I knew you'd be waiting."
He realized her hand was trembling underneath his. "What's the matter? You're not cold, are you?"
"No," she said softly. "I'm just so glad you're here," She looked at him square in the eye. "It's just that sometimes I think you're too good to be true, Trunks. You have no idea how hard my life's been...I'm afraid to trust anyone ever again because I'm always the one that gets hurt."
Trunks's expression was unreadable, but his eyes softened and he tightened his grip on Pan's hand. "I love you, Pan. Remember that. If I ever hurt you, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself." He grinned. "And that's a promise."
He lightly kissed her on the cheek but let his lips linger for a few seconds. "Now hurry up and get well soon, Pan Son," he said softly against her ear. "The future awaits us."
The future.
For the first time in years, that single word held meaning for her. Because maybe, just maybe, she would have a future after all.
The future awaits us.
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Shortly after Trunks had left, Dr. White returned to take another blood sample. To his surprise, she greeted him with enthusiasm and seemed happier than she had been in months.
"Well, well, just look at you Pan," he said, smiling at the young girl fondly. "Seems like you've decided to take my advice after all and not be so gloomy all the time. Now I know it's hard for you, but you must learn to enjoy life my dear."
She laughed out loud. "Actually, it's a little more than that, Dr. White. But go ahead, take my blood sample first. I'll tell you about it afterwards."
Dr. White grinned and sat on the stool next to Pan. "As you wish. But first let me tell you about Sandra Rodriguez. You know Sandra, don't you? She's on the second floor and I believe you've met her a couple of times. " He paused. "She's a cancer patient like yourself. Lung cancer, though. Sandra never did stop smoking."
"Yes, I remember her all right. She's the only cancer patient I've ever met who thinks she's going to make it." Pan rolled her eyes.
"Well, I think she is going to make it after all," Dr. White stopped speaking when he saw the shocked expression on Pan's face. "That's what I came to talk to you about, actually. I thought you'd be glad to hear that Sandra's not terminally ill. She was misdiagnosed."
Pan remained silent.
"Pan? Are you listening to me? I said, Sandra was misdiagnosed. She's going to-"
"She's going to make it, right?" Pan said with a sigh. "I know. I heard you the first time."
Clearly, Dr. White did not understand Pan's hostile behavior. "Is everything all right, Pan?"
"No!" She burst out with such anger that Dr. White backed away a little. "Why does she get to live? And why do I have to die? It's not fair, I tell you! I was the one that was supposed to live. I should have been misdiagnosed!"
Stunned at Pan's sudden outburst, Dr. White tried to calm her down desperately. "I'm so sorry, Pan. I was being insensitive. I just thought-" He stopped himself, shaking his head. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, dear."
But Pan was furious. She looked at him, and Dr. White could see the unshed tears in her eyes.
"Just leave me alone," She said in between sobs. "You're such a lousy doctor. Just go. Leave me alone!" She shouted when he didn't budge.
Quietly, Dr. White opened the door to her room and left. Angrily, Pan grabbed her lunch tray and flung it across the wall, feeling sick for having yelled at Dr. White.
"What did I do to deserve this?" she said to no one in particular. "Do you hear that, God? What the hell did I do to deserve this!"
But of course, God never did answer her question.
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The days came and went. Pan eventually gained permission to leave the hospital and returned to the small apartment she shared with Marron once more. Pan and Trunks's relationship continued, and the affair between Trunks and Marron had been forgotten. At least, Trunks had dismissed it in his mind. He wasn't too sure about Marron, though.
So on a cold February morning when both girls sat sipping their coffees and nonchalantly discussing the latest fashion, the conversation was suddenly sidetracked to Trunks.
"Do you think Trunks would like a dress like that?" Pan asked, pointing disdainfully at a short pink dress shown in a catalogue. "It's so girly. So not me."
"I don't see why not," replied Marron with a shrug. "The dress is gorgeous. And look at the shoes that come with it! Beautiful."
"Whatever," Pan shut the catalogue and tossed it on the coffee table, then leaned forward, her eyes glittering with mischeif. "Remember when I asked you about your tragic love stories, Marron? You never did tell me."
"Oh," Marron twirled a strand of her hair between her fingers and paused, as if trying to make up her mind about something. Then she grinned. "Are you ready for this, Pan? You might not like what I have to say. No, on second thought, let's just drop it."
"Marron!" she exclaimed. "Don't be such a bad sport. Tell me!"
"Okay," Marron said slowly, looking directly in Pan's eyes, "The first was John. Remember John from high school? The second was George. I met him when I worked at Bloomingdale's awhile back. And the third…" She paused dramatically. "Was Trunks."
"What?" Pan stared at her blond-haired friend, and for the first time she saw pain in her blue eyes. "You were in love with Trunks?"
"I am in love with Trunks." Marron gave her a sheepish grin. "You couldn't tell, right?"
Pan was shaking her head, completely blown away. "I can't believe this," Pan frowned and looked at her suspiciously. "You're not joking around, are you?"
"No, Pan, I'm telling you the truth for the first time in my life. And that's not all. But it's enough for you to hear, anyway."
Pan's eyes widened. "You mean there's more? What, the two of you went out?" When Marron remained silent, she suddenly remembered something that had disturbed her not too long ago. "He slept over once," She said quietly.
"Marron?" Pan's voice was trembling now. "Please tell me I'm wrong. I am, aren't I?"
"Just drop it, Pan," Marron said with a sigh. "I don't want you to get hurt."
Pan snorted. "Yeah right. You don't want to hurt me, so you go ahead and have sex with Trunks!"
Marron didn't reply, but the look on her face told Pan everything she needed to know.
"You know what? I am so sick of having fake people for friends. Everyone I've ever met in my entire fuckin' life was always full of bullshit!" She turned around to glare at Marron. "And you're no exception. I trusted you, goddamnit!"
And without another word, Pan opened the front door and walked out of Marron's life.
"Pan! Come back here! It was an accident," Marron was crying now. "Pan, please!"
But something deep inside told her that Pan was not coming back.
Ever.